"Ube  Savings  of  poo*  1fticbar&" 

Ube  prefaces,  proverbs,  anfc 

poems  of 
Benjamin  franfclln 

in 


poor  IRicbarD's  Blmanac0  tor 
1733*1758 


ColtccteB  a 

iDaul  Uciccster 


,  IP.  putnam'a  Sone 

Ube  iknicfeerbocfter  press 


A 

v\ 

A 


TO 

LINDSAY  SWIFT 

FELLOW-WORKER  IN  THE  VINEYARDS  OF 
FRANKLINIAN   LITERATURE 

THIS  VOLUME  IS 

GRATEFULLY  AND  AFFECTIONATELY 
DEDICATED 


M41091 


INTRODUCTION. 


AS  one  handles  the  little  brown  pamphlets, 
so  tattered,  smoked,  and  soiled,  which 
constitute  so  large  a  proportion  of  American 
colonial  literature,  it  needs  but  small  imagina 
tion  to  carry  one  back  into  the  low-ceiled 
kitchen,  with  its  great  broad  fire-place,  around 
which  the  whole  family  nightly  gathered, — 
seated  on  settles  whose  high  backs  but  ill  shut 
off  the  cold  drafts  that  entered  at  doors,  win 
dows,  and  the  chinks  in  the  logs  or  clab-boards, 
—their  only  light  the  fitful  flame  of  the  great 
fore-  and  back-logs,  eked  out  perhaps  by  a  pine- 
knot,  or  in  more  pretentious  households  by  a 
tallow-dip,  suspended  in  its  iron  holder  by  a 
hook  in  the  mantel, — the  mother  and  daughters 
knitting,  spinning,  or  skeining,  with  an  eye  on 
the  youngsters  ;  the  sons  making  or  mending 
their  farming  tools,  or  cleaning  their  rifles  and 
craps ;  while  the  grave  and  probably  rheu- 


2  Ifntrofcuction 

matic  sire  studies  the  last  printed  sermon  or 
theological  tractate,  newspaper,  or  political 
squib,  "  Death-becJ  Confession,"  or  "Last  Dying 
Speech,"  but  most'  probably  the  weather  pre 
dictions  coatain&d  ih  jfhe  most  valued  of  all 
publications— th'e'A>l*manac/-and  no  doubt  cogi 
tates  and  worries  over  the  impending  ruin 
which  the  unfeeling  philomath's  prediction  of 
"snow-blast"  in  July  seems  to  entail  upon 
him. 

Few  if  any  now  living  can  appreciate  how 
large  a  space  this  little  pamphlet  of  a  dozen 
leaves  filled  only  one  hundred  years  ago,  and 
this  importance  increases  as  we  trace  it  back  to 
its  first  appearance  in  this  country.  To  the 
present  generation  it  is  merely  a  cover  for  soap, 
patent  medicine,  or  other  quackery  advertis 
ing,  but  in  our  colonial  period  it  was  the  vade 
mecum  of  every  household — a  calendar,  diary, 
meteorological  bureau,  jest-,  recipe-,  and  indeed 
sometimes  school-book  ;  for,  with  the  exception 
of  the  Bible,  it  was  often  the  year's  sole  read 
ing  matter  in  many  families,  and  a  poor  and 
shiftless  one  it  was  indeed,  which,  as  the  new 
year  approached,  had  not  the  necessary  sum, 
ranging  from  a  penny  to  sixpence,  to  be  ex 
changed  for  the  annual  issue.  In  every  well- 
ordered  kitchen  a  nail  was  driven  in  the  chim 
ney-breast,  on  which,  as  the  old  year  waned,  a 


•ffntrofcucticm  3 

fresh  almanac  was  hung.  How  eagerly  must 
all  have  read  it  for  the  first  time  !  How  impor 
tant  were  its  weather  predictions  and  statistical 
matter  !  How  amusing  its  jokes  and  anecdotes, 
which,  served  up  anew  year  after  year,  were 
greeted  by  no  chestnut  bell,  and  never  became 
old  or  stale.  But  if  the  humor  was  perennial, 
not  so  the  almanac  !  Slowly  as  the  season  ad 
vanced  it  lost  its  first  youthful  freshness,  be 
came  brown  and  thumbed,  then  ragged,  till 
when  the  trees  commenced  to  shed  their  leaves 
the  almanac  proved  itself  no  bad  imitator,  and 
its  successor  found  no  rival  to  contest  its  right 
to  the  hook. 

If  we  examine  an  almanac  of  the  last  century, 
we  are  struck  with  the  paucity  of  reading  mat 
ter  which  sufficed  to  cause  it  to  be  read  to  pieces. 
A  title-page,  which  generally  served  as  a  table 
of  contents,  and  was  often  ornamented  with 
some  frightful  wood-cut,  was  usually  followed 
by  an  "Address  to  the  Courteous  Reader." 
Then  came  the  calendar,  each  month  occupy 
ing  a  page,  including,  among  other  useful  facts, 
a  weather  prediction  for  each  day  or  so,  and 
there  was  no  hedging  either.  "  High  Wind," 
"North  west  Wind,"  "Raw  and  Chilly,"  "Frost," 
and  "  Snow-blast"  are  set  down  at  random  by 
the  philomaths  with  as  much  confidence  and 
certainty  as  if  they  were  reporting  yesterday's 


4  Ifntrofcucticm 

weather,  instead  of  predicting  for  six  months 
later.  If  the  calendar  failed  to  fill  the  page,  the 
matter  was  eked  out  by  filling  in  the  spaces  at 
the  top  or  bottom  with  rhymes  to  the  month 
they  chanced  to  be  with,  or  with  short  anec 
dotes,  mostly  of  a  comic  nature.  If  any  pages 
were  left  over  from  the  calendar,  they  were 
filled  with  extracts  from  books,  by  information 
concerning  the  courts,  the  post-roads,  facts  in 
history,  or  all  combined. 

We  should  hardly  think  the  compiling  of 
such  a  work  would  entitle  one  to  a  high  place 
in  the  world  of  literature,  but  in  "the  good  old 
days  of  yore,"  a  different  value  was  set  on 
these  productions,  and  so  we  find  such  time- 
honored  names  as  Chauncy,  Sewall,  Danforth, 
Mather,  and  Dudley  figuring  on  the  title-page 
as  the  compiler,  or,  as  they  were  then  almost 
invariably  styled,  as  the  "philomath,"  or  lover 
of  learning.  To  their  readers,  who  still  be 
lieved  in  witchcraft,  governing  stars,  and  horo 
scopes,  the  composition  of  an  almanac  savored 
of  magic,  sorcery,  if  not  illicit  communion  with 
departed  spirits,  and  the  authors  were  there 
fore  to  them  most  awe-inspiring  beings ;  and 
probably  the  guild  was  not  above  adding  to  this 
belief,  as  is  shadowed  in  a  poem  of  Philip  Fre- 
neau,  written  in  the  last  century  when  the  "  art " 
was  first  beginning  to  show  signs  of  decay  : 


Ifntrofcuctfon 

While  others  dwell  on  mean  affairs, 

Their  Kings,  their  councils,  and  their  Wars, 

Philaster  roves  among  the  stars. 

In  melancholy  silence  he 
Travels  alone  and  cannot  see 
An  equal  for  his  company. 

He  tells  us  when  the  sun  will  rise 
Points  out  fair  days,  or  clouded  skies ; — 
No  matter  if  he  sometimes  lies. 

An  annual  Almanac  to  frame 
And  publish  with  pretended  name 
Is  all  his  labour,  all  his  aim. 


Thus  nature  waiting  at  his  call, 

His  book,  in  vogue  with  great  and  small, 

Is  sought,  admir'd,  and  read  by  all. 

How  happy  thus  on  earth  to  stay 
The  planets  keeping  him  in  pay — 
And  when  't  is  time  to  post  away 

Old  Saturn  will  the  bait  prepare, 
And  hook  him  up  from  toil  and  care 
To  make  new  calculations  there. 

But  if  the  almanac  and  its  compiler  were  of 
great  importance  to  the  public,  they  were 
equally  so  to  the  printer.  Knjoying  such  a 
popularity,  the  sales  of  the  little  pamphlet  were 
almost  the  only  certain  financial  venture  of  the 
year,  and  lucky  was  the  printer  who  had  se 
cured  the  copy  of  a  well-known  and  esteemed 


6  -ffntrofcuctfon 

philomath.  To-day  the  bulk  of  these  seem  to 
differ  little  in  accuracy  or  interest,  but  in  the 
times  when  these  were  bought  and  read  there 
were  fashions  and  fads  in  almanacs,  and  while 
some  nourished  and  brought  money  to  both 
compiler  and  printer,  others  dragged  along  for 
a  few  years  and  finally  disappeared. 

Perhaps  nothing  better  illustrates  the  place 
once  held  in  American  literature  by  these 
ephemera  than  the  annals  of  American  print 
ing.  A  collection  of  the  first  issues  of  the  early 
American  presses  established  in  the  various 
towns  would,  with  hardly  an  exception,  con 
sist  of  these  little  waifs.  When,  over  two  hun 
dred  and  fifty  years  ago,  Stephen  Daye  set  up 
the  first  printing-office  in  this  country,  the  first 
volume  he  printed  was  the  almanac  of  "Wil 
liam  Peirce,  Mariner."  When  William  Brad 
ford,  "after  great  Charge  and  Trouble,"  had 
"brought  the  great  Art  and  Mystery  of  Print 
ing  "  into  the  city  of  Philadelphia,  Samuel 
Atkin's  "  Kalendarium  Pennsilvaniense  "  was 
the  first  issue  of  his  press.  When  the  year's 
product  of  the  three  Philadelphia  presses  num 
bered  but  thirteen  books,  seven  were  almanacs, 
and  the  two  of  the  six  issues  of  the  New  York 
presses  for  this  same  year  were  of  this  character. 

Such  was  the  status  of  the  almanac  when, 
in  the  "first  year  of  the  reign  of  our  well-be- 


lintro&uctfon  7 

loved  king,  George  II."  and  "  of  our  Lord  1728," 
the  youthful  firm  of  "  B.  Franklin  and  H. 
Meredith"  set  up  the  "New  Printing  Office 
near  the  Market. "  However  small  and  humble 
the  new  venture  opened,  it  had  to  have  an  al 
manac,  and  so  the  annual  copy  was  engaged 
from  Thomas  Godfrey,  a  Philadelphia  scientist 
of  no  mean  note  in  those  days,  and  contem 
porary  inventor  with  Hadley  of  the  quadrant. 
For  three  years  they  published  this  with  ap 
parent  satisfaction  to  all  concerned,  when  a 
match-making  woman,  in  the  person  of  Mrs. 
Godfrey,  enacted  the  Discordia,  and  introduced 
the  fatal  apple.  Franklin  had  rented  the  upper 
part  of  his  shop  to  the  Godfreys,  boarding  with 
them,  and  being  of  the  weaker  sex,  Mrs.  God 
frey  naturally  planned  a  match  between  the 
seemingly  prosperous  young  printer  and  a 
marriageable  relation.  She  made  "  opportuni 
ties  of  bringing  us  often  together,  till  a  serious 
courtship  on  my  part  ensu'd,  the  girl  being  in 
herself  very  deserving.  The  old  folks  encour 
aged  me  by  continual  invitations  to  supper,  and 
by  leaving  us  alone  together,  till  at  length  it 
was  time  to  explain."  The  prudent  printer, 
who  in  his  almanac  afterwards  advised  one  to 
"  ne'er  take  a  wife  till  thou  hast  a  house  (and  a 
fire)  to  put  her  in,"  "let  her  know  that  I  [he] 
expected  as  much  money  with  their  daughter 


8  Untrofcuctfon 

as  would  pay  off  my  remaiiiing  debt  for  the 
printing  house,  which  I  believe  was  not  then 
above  a  hundred  pounds.  She  brought  me 
word  they  had  no  such  sum  to  spare  ;  I  said 
they  might  mortgage  their  house  in  the  loan- 
office.  The  answer  to  this,  after  some  days,  was, 
that  they  did  not  approve  .  .  .  and,  there 
fore,  I  was  forbidden  the  house,  and  the  daugh 
ter  shut  up.  .  .  .  Mrs.  Godfrey  brought  me 
afterward  some  more  favorable  accounts  of 
their  disposition,  and  would  have  drawn  me  on 
again  ;  but  I  declared  absolutely  my  resolution 
to  have  nothing  more  to  do  with  that  family. 
This  was  resented  by  the  Godfreys  ;  we  differed, 
and  they  removed." 

Neither  the  loss  of  his  lady-love  nor  tenants 
seem  seriously  to  have  inconvenienced  the 
philosophic  young  printer,  but  one  result  of 
this  courtship  involved  graver  consequences  to 
him.  The  Godfreys  not  merely  ceased  to  be  his 
tenants,  but  the  philomath  carried  his  yearly 
calculations  to  Andrew  Bradford,  Franklin's 
rival  in  the  printing  business,  and  near  the 
end  of  the  year  1732  the  latter  found  himself  in 
the  lurch  for  the  copy  for  his  annual  issue. 

With  the  natural  adaptability  of  the  born 
Yankee,  Franklin  met  this  difficulty  by  com 
piling  his  own  almanac.  Knowing,  however, 
that  the  name  of  "B.  Franklin,  printer,"  could 


ITntro&uction  9 

hardly  pass  for  a  man  of  sufficient  years  and 
learning  to  be  one  of  the  philomathic  brother 
hood,  he  borrowed  as  a  pen-name  that  of  "  Rich 
ard  Saunders,"  the  origir-1  of  which  belonged 
to  an  English  "Chyrurgeon"  of  the  eighteenth 
century,  who  for  many  years  compiled  a  popu 
lar  almanac  entitled  "  The  Apollo  Anglicanus," 
which  attained  such  a  reputation  that  it  was 
still  published  as  late  as  1781,  though  now  quite 
forgot  for  its  better-known  western  imitator. 
From  another  eighteenth-century  English  al 
manac  entitled  "  Poor  Robin,"  was  probably  de 
rived  the  title  of  "  Poor  Richard,"  which  so 
hit  popular  fancy ;  and  under  these  borrowed 
plumes  the  almanac  appeared. 

The  yearly  issue  was  usually  published  as 
early  as  October  of  the  preceding  year,  but  the 
first  intimation  the  city  of  brotherly  love  had 
of  the  new  venture  was,  from  the  causes  already 
mentioned,  derived  from  the  columns  of  The 
Pennsylvania  Gazette  of  December  19,  1732, 
and  was  as  follows  : 

"  Just  Published,  for  1733  : 

POOR  RICHARD  :  An  ALMANACK  containing  the 
Lunations,  Eclipses,  Planets  Motions  and  Aspects, 
Weather,  Sun  and  Moon's  rising  and  setting,  High- 
water,  &c.  besides  many  pleasant  and  witty  Verses, 
Jests  and  Sayings,  Author's  Motive  of  Writing,  Predic 
tion  of  the  Death  of  his  Friend  Mr.  Titan  I,eeds,  Moon  no 
Cuckold,  Batchelor's  Folly,  Parson's  Wine  and  Baker's 
Pudding,  Short  Visits,  Kings  and  Bears,  New  Fashions, 


io  1lntro£mctton 

Game  for  Kisses,  Katherine's  Love,  Different  Senti 
ments,  Signs  of  a  Tempest,  Death  a  Fisherman,  Con 
jugal  Debate,  Men  and  Melons,  H.  the  Prodigal, 
Breakfast  i  i  Bed,  Oyster  Lawsuit,  &c.  By  RICHARD 
SAUNDERS,  Philomat.  Printed  and  sold  by  B.  Frank 
lin,  Price  v-  f>d.  per  Dozen.  Of  whom  also  may  be  had 
Sheet  Almanacks  at  2S.  6d." 

It  was  not  the  custom  of  the  time  to  advertise 
to  any  extent.  Most  publishers  of  almanacs 
thought  they  had  done  enough  for  their  own 
and  the  public's  benefit  when  they  had 
announced  through  the  press  that  "On  Mon 
day  next  will  be  published,  L/eeds'  Almanack 

for "  or  "Now  selling  by  the  printer  Jer- 

man's  Almanack  for ."  It  is  easy  to  believe 

then  that  this  advertisement  was  of  a  nature  to 
attract  notice,  and  make  the  public  buy  the 
new  almanac.  Indeed  it  is  the  only  explana 
tion  I  have  found  for  the  almost  instantaneous 
large  sale  it  met  with.  And  sell  it  did — only  a 
trifle  over  two  weeks  after  its  first  publication, 
and  in  spite  of  the  prejudicial  fact  that  "  A  few 
of  the  first  that  were  printed  had  the  Months  of 
September  and  October  transposed,"  Franklin 
announced  in  The  Pennsylvania  Gazette  of  Jan 
uary  4,  1733,  that  on  "  Saturday  next  will  be 
published  for  1733  :  The  Second  Edition  of  Poor 
Richard"  ;  and  but  a  week  later  through  the 
same  medium  he  advertised  the  publication  of 
a  "Third  Impression."  Having  discovered  the 
efficacy  of  advertising,  Franklin  was  not  back- 


•ffntrofcuction  n 

ward  in  using  it  for  the  next  issue.  In  his 
paper  as  early  as  November  8,  1733,  the  public 
eye  was  informed,  with  nearly  a  whole  column, 
as  below  : 

Just  publish'd  for  1734. 

POOR  RICHARD  :  An  ALMANACK  containing  the 
Lunations,  Eclipses,  Planets  Motions  and  Aspect^ 
Weather,  Sun  and  Moon's  Rising  and  Setting,  High- 
water,  &c.  Besides  many  Pleasant  and  Witty  Verses, 
Tests  and  Notable  Sayings.  Thanks  to  the  Publick  for 
his  last  Year's  Encouragement.  Of  His  Wife's  good 
Humour.  Of  His  Prediction  concerning  the  Day,  Hour, 
and  Minute  of  Titan  Leeds' 's  Death.  Mr.  Leeds's  Char- 
acter.  Remarks  upon  the  Almanack  published  for  1734 
in  Leeds's  Name.  Gelding  Time.  Good  Women,  Stars 
and  Angels.  Poor  Dick's  Litany.  What  Death  is.  What 
spoils  the  Teeth.  The  Travellers  Improvement.  Blind 
Fortune.  Wedlock  Lawyers,  Preachers  and  Tomtit's 
Eggs.  Robin  bit.  How  to  perswade.  Lawyer's  Will, 

Bucephalus  and  his  Master.    Crowing  Hen.    .S /  the 

Smith ,   and  /- — b  the  Tapster.    The  Teacher.    Heirs 

and  Widows.    John's  Wit.    The  Dutch  Maxim.    Verses 

by  Mrs.  Bridget  Saunders,  in  Answer  to  the  December 

Verses  of  last  Year.    Short  Dialogue  between  a  Lawyer 

and    his    Client,    &c.     By    Rickard   Saunders   Philom. 

Philadelphia,   Printed  and  sold  by  B.  Franklin,   Price 

3-y.  6d.  per  Doz. 

To  all,  whom  it  may  concern  to  know  R.  S. 

I'm  not  High-Church,   nor  Low-Church,  nor  Tory,  nor 

Whig, 

No  flat?  ring  young  Coxcomb,  nor  formal  old  Prig  ; 
Not  eternally  talking  nor  silently  queint, 
No  profligate  sinner,  nor  pragmatical  Saint, 
7'm  not  vain  of  my  Judgment,  nor  ptnn'd  on  a  Sleeve, 
Nor  implicitly  any  Thing  can  [believe. 
To  sift  Truth  from  all  Rubbish,  I  do  what  I can, 
And,  God  knows,  If  I  err — /'  m  a  fallible  man. 
I  can  laugh  at  a  Jest,  if  not  crack  'd  out  of  Time, 
And  excuse  a  Mistake,  tho'  not  flatter  a  Crime. 
Any  faults  of  my  Friends  fwou'd  scorn  to  expose, 
And  detest  private  Scandal,  tho'1  cast  on  my  Foes. 
I  put  none  to  the  Blush,  on  whatever  Pretence, 
For  immodesty  shocks  both  good  Breeding  and  Sense, 
No  Man's  Person  I  hate,  tho1  his  Conduct  I  blame, 


i2  Introduction 

I  can  censure  a  Vice,  without  stabbing  a  Name. 

To  amend — not  Reproach— is  the  Bent  of  my  Mind, 

A  Reproof  is  half  lost,  wh?n  ill  Nature  is  joined. 

Where  Merit  appears,  tho'  in  Rags,  I  respect  it, 

And  plead  Virtue's  Cause,  shou'd  the  whole  World  reject  it. 

Cool  Reason  I  bow  to,  wheresoever  't  is  found, 

And  rejoice  when  sound  learning  with  Favour  is  crown'd. 

To  no  Party  a  Slave,  in  no  squabbles  I  join, 

Nor  damn  the  Opinion,  that  differs  from  mine. 

Evil  tongues  I  contemn,  no  Blasphemies  I  sing  ; 

I  dote  on  my  Country  and  am  Liege  to  my  King. 

Tho'  length  of  Days  I  desire,  yet  with  my  last  Breath, 

I'm  in  hopes  to  betrav  no  mean  dreading  s  of  Death  : 

And  as  to  the  Path,  after  Death  to  be  trod, 

I  rely  on  the  Will  of  a  MERCIFUL  GOD. 

R.  SAUNDERS. 


Another  cause  for  the  large  sale  of  the  early 
issues  was  without  question  due  to  the  con 
troversies  with  his  brother  philomaths,  which 
Franklin  originated  by  his  jocose  remarks  upon 
them  in  the  prefaces  of  Poor  Richard.  With 
delicious  humor  aud  satire,  Mr.  Saunders  in 
different  issues  gravely  predicts  the  death  of 
one  of  his  rivals,  Titan  Leeds,  and  the  recon 
ciliation  of  a  second,  John  Jerman,  to  the 
Catholic  Church.  Neither  of  these  gentlemen, 
though  able  to  predict  weather  twelve  months 
in  advance,  could  draw  from  the  stars  Frank 
lin's  purpose,  and  so  they  fell  into  his  trap,  and 
in  the  prefaces  to  their  respective  issues  they 
replied  to  him  with  anger  and  "strong  "  words. 
Leeds  called  him  a  "  Fool  and  a  Lyar"  and  "a 
conceited  scribbler,"  which  Jerman  echoed  in 
no  minor  key  by  stating  that  Franklin's  predic- 


•ffntrotwctton  13 

tion  was  "  altogether  false  and  untrue,"  and 
that  he  was  "one  of  Baal's  false  prophets." 
This  was  just  what  Franklin  expected,  and  he 
used  his  opportunity  to  the  utmost.  With  wit 
and  humor  he  fanned  the  flame  of  controversy, 
to  which  his  rivals  replied  with  bad  language 
and  adjectives.  He  made  every  reader  of  Leeds 
and  Jerman  hear  of  and  wish  to  see  Poor  Rich 
ard,  and,  once  seen,  it  was  a  very  clod-pate  who 
could  not  discriminate  between  texts,  one  of 
which  has  been  translated  into  a  dozen  lan 
guages,  while  the  other  has  barely  survived 
on  the  shelves  of  the  antiquary. 

But  if  this  unusual  advertising  created  a  large 
sale  of  the  early  issues,  its  continuous  success 
was  due  to  a  third  cause.  In  his  Autobiography 
Franklin  tells  us  that  "  observing  it  was  gener 
ally  read,  scarce  any  neighborhood  in  the  prov 
ince  being  without  it,  I  consider' d  it  as  a  proper 
vehicle  for  conveying  instruction  among  the 
common  people,  who  bought  scarcely  any  other 
books  ;  I  therefore  filled  all  the  little  spaces 
between  the  remarkable  days  in  the  calendar 
with  proverbial  sentences,  chiefly  such  as  in 
culcated  industry  and  frugality  as  the  means  of 
procuring  wealth,  and  thereby  securing  virtue  ; 
it  being  more  difficult  for  a  man  in  want  to  act 
always  honestly,  as,  to  use  here  one  of  these 
proverbs,  it  is  hard  for  an  empty  sack  to  stand 


i4  Untrofcuction 

upright"  It  is  these  proverbs  which  made 
Poor  Richard  the  popular  almanac  of  the 
period.  The  religious  schisms,  the  privations 
of  emigration,  and  the  hard  and  dreary  colonial 
life  had  tinged  our  forefathers  with  a  serious 
ness  that  produced  practically  no  humor,  and 
the  wise  and  witty  sayings  of  Poor  Richard 
stand  out  as  almost  the  sole  production  of  this 
kind  in  our  colonial  period.  Certainly,  though 
written  for  the  common  people,  they  are  the 
only  ones  worth  reading  to-day,  and  it  is  not 
strange  that  what,  in  a  garbled  and  abbreviated 
form,  has  achieved  such  a  reputation,  that  to 
day  it  is  as  well  known  in  Europe  as  in  America, 
and  which  is  still  constantly  reprinted,  should 
in  the  colorless  life  of  our  frontier  settlements 
have  enjoyed  a  popularity  sufficient  to  keep  the 
presses  busy  printing  the  ten  thousand  copies 
annually  needed  to  supply  the  readers,  who 
extended  as  far  north  as  Rhode  Island,  and 
to  the  southward  as  far  as  the  Carolinas.  In 
deed  it  is,  so  far  as  I  am  aware,  the  first  literary 
production  of  this  country  which  to  any  extent 
broke  through  the  colony  boundaries  which  at 
that  time  so  thoroughly  localized  thought  and 
people. 

It  is  hardly  necessary  to  state  that  Franklin 
did  not  originate  all  the  "  Sayings  of  Poor 
Richard."  He  himself  tells  us  that  they  were 


Unttofcuctfon  15 

"  the  wisdom  of  many  ages  and  nations."  Any 
one  familiar  with  Bacon,  Rochefoucauld,  and 
Rabelais,  as  well  as  others,  will  recognize  old 
friends  in  some  of  these  sayings,  while  a  study 
of  the  collections  of  Proverbs,  made  in  the 
early  part  of  the  last  century  by  Ray  and 
Palmer,  will  reveal  the  probable  source  from 
which  Poor  Richard  pilfered.  Yet  with  but 
few  exceptions  these  maxims  and  aphorisms 
had  been  filtered  through  Franklin's  brain,  and 
were  tinged  with  that  mother  wit  which  so 
strongly  and  individually  marks  so  much  that 
he  said  and  wrote. 

But  for  these  exceptions,  Poor  Richard  was 
like  all  his  contemporaries.  Here  was  the  same 
comparatively  poor  printing,  the  same  great 
economy  of  paper,  not  merely  in  margins,  but  in 
printing  on  every  available  blank  which  oc 
curred.  Here  are  anecdotes  and  poems  so 
coarse  that  only  a  knowledge  of  eighteenth- 
century  literature  can  save  one  from  marvelling 
that  the  sheets  containing  them  could  gain 
admission  into  a  decent  household.  But  to  the 
age  that  read  Swift,  Richardson,  and  Smollett, 
't  was  no  shame  to  read  Poor  Richard,  and  his 
coarseness  at  least  was  tinctured  with  genuine 
wit,  and  not  merely  coarse  for  coarseness  sake. 
Here  are  the  same  dry  though  then  important 
facts  and  tables  concerning  the  sessions  of  the 


16  Untrofcuction 

different  courts,  post-roads,  mails,  and  friends 
meetings.  Here  are  the  occasional  "  Tables  of 
Interest  at  Six  per  Cent,"  "Table  of  Coins," 
"  Historical  Chronology,"  "  Act  of  Parliament," 
"Method  of  Inoculating  for  the  Small  Pox," 
"  Receipt  for  making  Dauphiny  Soup,  which  in 
Turkey  is  call  Touble,"  and  other  matter  of 
such  "gone-nothingness"  as  not  to  be  worth 
reprinting.  And  here  are  the  doggerel  rhymes 
which  are  bad  enough  to  merit  notice. 

In  his  Autobiography,  Franklin  tells  us  that 
by  the  saving  ridicule  of  his  father  he  "  escaped 
being  a  poet  and  most  probably  a  bad  one." 
Certainly  the  poems  of  Poor  Richard  support 
the  truth  of  the  latter  part  of  this  statement,  if 
not  the  former.  It  is  true  that  Mr.  Saunders 
tells  us  in  one  of  his  prefaces  that  "  I  need  not 
tell  thee  that  many  of  them  [the  verses]  are  of 
my  own  Making.  If  thou  hast  any  Judgement 
in  Poetry,  thou  wilt  easily  discern  the  Work 
man  from  the  Bungler.  I  know  as  well  as  thee, 
that  I  am  no  Poet  born  and  it  is  a  Trade  I  never 
learnt,  nor  indeed  could  learn.  If  I  make 
Verses,  't  is  in  Spight — Of  Nature  and  my  Stars 
I  write. — Why  then  should  I  give  my  Readers 
bad  Lines  of  my  own,  when  good  Ones  of  other 
Peoples  are  so  plentiful  ?  "  Perhaps  then  Poor 
Richard  should  not  be  made  responsible  for  all 
these  poems,  but  I  have  been  able  to  identify 


flntrofcuctfon  17 

but  one  or  two  pieces  as  from  other  pens,  and 
suspect  that  they  must  most  of  them  be  referred 
to  one  which  had  so  little  poetic  feeling  that  it 
could  write  of  it  as  a  "  trade  "  to  be  "learnt." 

Such  was  the  almanac  which  made  Richard 
Saunders,  yclept  Poor  Richard,  a  distinct  indi 
vidual  to  our  colonial  ancestors  and  gained  him 
a  reputation  possessed  by  few  even  of  our  then 
governors  and  leading  men.  In  1746,  by  the 
death  of  that  "  Ornament  and  Head  of  our  Pro 
fession,  Mr.  Jacob  Taylor,  who  for  upwards  of 
forty  years  (with  some  few  Intermissions  only) 
supply'd  the  good  people  of  this  and  the  neigh 
boring  Colonies  with  the  most  accurate  Calcu 
lations  that  have  hitherto  appear' d  in  America  " 
(and  who  indeed  was  said  to  have  assisted  in  the 
preparation  of  Poor  Richard),  the  most  serious 
rival  of  this  latter  was  removed.  This  made  an 
opening  Franklin  was  too  shrewd  not  to  seize, 
and  he  announced  that  "  since  my  Friend 
Taylor  is  no  more,  whose  Ephemerides  so  long 
and  agreeably  serv'd  and  entertained  these 
Provinces,  I  have  taken  the  liberty  to  imitate 
his  well-known  Method,  of  giving  two  pages  to 
each  Month,"  and  accordingly  the  title-page  of 
the  issue  for  1748,  was  not  only  termed  "  Poor 
Richard  Improved  "  (under  which  title  it  was 
subsequently  printed),  but  announced  to  the 
public  that  "  This  Almanack  us'd  to  contain  but 


i8  flntrofcuctfon 

24  Pages,  and  now  has  36  ;  yet  the  Price  is  very 
little  advanc'd."  The  almanac  throve  under  its 
new  form,  and  such  was  the  edition  printed  of 
the  issue  for  1750,  that  Franklin  sent  a  copy  to 
his  "Honored  Mother,"  as  early  as  October 
i6th  of  the  preceding  year,  with  the  statement 
that  "we  print  them  early,  because  we  send 
them  to  many  places  far  distant."  By  Frank 
lin's  accounts  we  know  that  in  the  last  fourteen 
years  in  which  he  was  connected  with  the 
almanac,  the  total  sales  were  141,257  copies, 
amounting  in  the  colonial  currency  to  the  sum 
of  ^2213.  o.  8. 

For  twenty-five  years  Franklin  compiled  and 
printed  this  almanac,  (though  it  was  continued 
till  near  the  end  of  the  last  century),  and  in  the 
last  issue  edited  by  him,  being  for  the  year  1758, 
he  contributed  a  preface  to  which  almost  the 
entire  knowledge  of  Poor  Richard  by  the  world 
is  due.  It  was  in  effect  a  skimming  of  the 
cream  from  the  twenty-four  previous  issues, 
being  a  selection  of  aphorisims,  rhymes,  and 
jokes  run  into  a  continuous  piece,  which  was 
described  by  Franklin  as  follows:  "These 
proverbs.  .  .  I  assembled  and  form'd  into  a  con 
nected  discourse  prefix'd  to  the  Almanack  of 
1757  [sic]  as  the  harangue  of  a  wise  old  man  to 
the  people  attending  an  auction.  The  bringing 
all  these  scatter'd  counsels  thus  into  a  focus, 


"ffntro&uction  13 

enabled  them  to  make  greater  impression.  The 
piece,  being  universally  approved,  was  copied 
in  all  the  newspapers  of  the  Continent ;  re 
printed  in  Britain  on  a  broadside,  to  be  stuck  up 
in  houses;  two  translations  were  made  of  it 
in  French,  and  great  numbers  bought  by  the 
clergy  and  gentry,  to  distribute  gratis  among 
their  poor  parishioners  and  tenants." 

It  is  this  preface  which  has  given  the  name 
of  Poor  Richard  currency  in  alien  races  and  a 
quotable  quality  to  this  day.  It  has  been 
printed  and  reprinted  again  and  again.  In 
every  size,  from  a  "  pot  duodecimo"  up  to  "  im 
perial  folio  "  ;  in  thousands  for  the  plow-boy, 
and  in  limited  and  privately  printed  editions  at 
the  expense  of  noblemen  ;  for  the  "penny- 
horrible"  hawker,  and  for  the  bibliomaniac; 
for  the  ' '  Society  for  Preserving  Property  against 
Republicans  and  Levellers, "  and  for  the  "  Asso 
ciation  for  Improving  the  Condition  of  the 
Poor  "  ;  and  under  the  titles  of  "  Father  Abra 
ham's  Speech,"  "The  Way  to  Wealth,"  and 
"La  Science  du  Bonhomme  Richard,"  it  has 
proved  itself  one  of  the  most  popular  American 
writings.  Seventy  editions  of  it  have  been 
printed  in  English,  fifty-six  in  French,  eleven 
in  German,  and  nine  in  Italian.  It  has  been 
translated  into  Spanish,  Danish,  Swedish, 
Welsh,  Polish,  Gaelic,  Russian,  Bohemian, 


20  Untro&uctton 

Dutch,  Catalan,  Chinese,  Modern  Greek,  and 
Phonetic  writing.  It  has  been  printed  at  least 
four  hundred  times,  and  is  to-day  as  popular  as 
ever. 

But  for  this  re-hash,  the  rarity  of  the  original 
issues  would  have  caused  Richard  Saunders  and 
his  almanacs  to  be  quite  unknown.  The  few 
remaining  copies  of  the  original  publications 
are  bibliographical  rarities  which  are  eagerly 
sought  for  and  command  prices  which  are  pro 
hibitive  to  the  ordinary  reader.  Of  the  two 
hundred  thousand  copies  which  a  low  estimate 
gives  as  the  number  printed  while  Franklin 
wrote  the  almanac,  but  a  mere  fraction  are  left 
us.  After  a  search  extending  over  several 
years,  the  editor  can  represent  the  entire  num 
ber  known  to  him  with  two  units,  and  an 
examination  of  these  would  entail  visits  to  New 
York,  Philadelphia,  and  Washington — a  task 
hitherto  undertaken  by  no  editor  of  Franklin. 

Yet  these  originals  do  not  deserve  the  fate 
that  has  been  awarded  to  so  much  of  our'colo- 
nial  literature.  No  pu  ^cation  which  had  a 
great  popularity  at  any  period  of  the  world's 
history  deserves  entire  forgetfulness.  If  only 
classed  with  the  archaeology  of  literature,  they 
should  still  be  read  and  remembered,  so  that  we 
may  better  appreciate  the  thoughts,  feelings, 
and  interests  of  our  bv-gone  generations.  But 


ITntro&uctton  21 

the  editor  believes  that  Poor  Richard  has  higher 
claims  to  public  notice  than  for  this  reason.  To 
collect  and  edit  these  pieces,  so  as  for  the  first 
time  to  give  them  to  the  public  in  a  form  and 
dress  that  will  permit  of  reading,  has  been 
to  him  a  labor  of  love.  Beyond  the  monthly 
calendars  he  has  pruned  as  little  as  the  nature 
of  this  reprint  and  the  space  at  his  command 
would  allow  of.  Little  which  he  believes 
Franklin  wrote  has  been  omitted,  and  so 
perhaps  some  of  the  volume  may  seem  of  but 
slight  interest.  If  so,  merely  consider  them  as 
foils  to  the  other  parts,  and  blame  not  the  Poor 
Richard  who  wrote  : 

"  Bad  commentators  spoil  the  best  of  books, 
So  God  sends  meat  (they  say)  the  Devil  Cooks  "— 


PAUL  LEICESTER  FORIX 

BROOKLYN,  N.  Y., 
Dec.  161889. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1733. 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

I  might  in  this  place  attempt  to  gain  thy 
favour  by  declaring  that  I  write  Almanacks 
with  no  other  view  than  that  of  the  publick 
good,  but  in  this  I  should  not  be  sincere ;  and 
men  are  now  a-days  too  wise  to  be  deceiv'd  by 
pretences,  how  specious  soever.  The  plain 
truth  of  the  matter  is,  I  am  excessive  poor,  and 
my  wife,  good  woman,  is,  I  tell  her,  excessive 
proud  ;  she  cannot  bear,  she  says,  to  sit  spinning 
in  her  shift  of  tow,  while  I  do  nothing  but  gaze 
at  the  stars  ;  and  has  threatned  more  than  once 
to  burn  all  my  books  and  rattling-traps,  (as  she 
calls  my  instruments,)  if  I  do  not  make  some 
profitable  use  of  them  for  the  good  of  my  family. 
The  Drinter  hat.  offer'd  me  some  considerable 
23 


24  poor  IRicbaro  for  1733 

share  of  the  profits,  and  I  have  thus  began  to 
comply  with  my  dame's  desire. 

Indeed,  this  motive  would  have  had  force 
enough  to  have  made  me  publish  an  Almanack 
many  years  since,  had  it  not  been  overpowered 
by  my  regard  for  my  good  friend  and  fellow- 
stuclent,  Mr.  Titan  Leeds,  whose  interest  I  was 
extreamly  unwilling  to  hurt.  But  this  obstacle 
(I  am  far  from  speaking  it  with  pleasure,)  is 
soon  to  be  removed,  since  inexorable  death,  who 
was  never  known  to  respect  merit,  has  already 
prepared  the  mortal  dart,  the  fatal  sister  has 
already  extended  her  destroying  shears,  and 
that  ingenious  man  must  soon  be  taken  from 
us.  He  dies,  by  my  calculation,  made  at  his 
request,  on  Oct.  17,  1733,  3  ho.,  29  m.,  P.M.,  at 
the  very  instant  of  the  6  of  0  and  g  .  By  his 
own  calculation  he  will  survive  till  the  26th  of 
the  same  month.  This  small  difference  between 
us  we  have  disputed  whenever  we  have  met 
these  nine  years  past ;  but  at  length  he  is  in 
clinable  to  agree  with  my  judgment.  Which 
of  us  is  most  exact,  a  little  time  will  now  deter 
mine.  As,  therefore,  these  Provinces  may  not 
longer  expect  to  see  any  of  his  performances 
after  this  year,  I  think  myself  free  to  take  up 
the  task,  and  request  a  share  of  publick  encour* 
agement,  which  I  am  the  more  apt  to  hope  for 
on  this  account,  that  the  buyer  of  my  Almanack 


Ipoor  IRlcbarfc  for  1733  25 

may  consider  himself  not  only  as  purchasing  an 
useful  utensil,  but  as  performing  an  act  of 
charity  to  his  poor 

Friend  and  servant, 

R.  SAUNDERS.* 

£   Saturn  diseas'd  with  age,  and  left  for  dead ; 
Chang'd  all  his  gold  to  be  involv'd  in  lead. 

2L  Jove,  Juno  leaves,  and  loves  to  take  his  range  ; 
From  whom  man  learns  to  love,  and  loves  to  change. 

$   is  disarmed,  and  to  5  gone, 
Where  Vulcan's  anvil  must  be  struck  upon. 
That  J)  I/una  's  horn'd,  it  cannot  well  be  said, 
Since  I  ne'er  heard  that  she  was  married. 

*  Titan  I,eeds,  in  his  "  American  Almanack  "  for  1734, 
thus  replies  : 

'"Kind  Reader,  Perhaps  it  may  be  expected  that  1 
should  say  something  concerning  an  Almanack  printed 
for  the  Year  1733,  Said  to  be  writ  by  Poor  Richard  or 
Richard  Saunders,  who  for  want  of  other  matter  was 
pleased  to  tell  his  Readers,  that  he  had  calculated  my 
Nativity,  and  from  thence  predicts  my  Death  to  be  the 
iyth  of  October,  1733.  At  22  min.  past  3  a-Clock  in  the  Af 
ternoon,  and  that  these  Provinces  may  not  expect  to  see 
any  more  of  his  {Titan  Leeds)  Performances,  and  this 
precise  Predicter,  who  predicts  to  a  Minute,  proposes  to 
succeed  me  in  Writing  of  Almanacks  ;  but  notwithstand 
ing  his  false  Prediction,  I  have  by  the  Mercy  of  God 
lived  to  write  a  Diary  for  the  Year  1734,  and  to  publish 
the  Folly  and  Ignorance  of  this  presumptuous  Author. 
Nay,  he  adds  another  gross  Falsehood  in  his  said  Alman 
ack, viz —  That  by  my  own  Calculation,  I  shall  survive  until 
the  z6th  of  the  'said  Month,  (October)  which  is  as  untrue 
as  the  former,  for  I  do  not  pretend  to  that  Knowledge, 
altho'  he  has  usurpt  the  Knowledge  of  the  Almighty 
herein,  and  manifested  himself  a  Fool  and  a  I^yar.  And 
by  the  mercy  of  God  I  have  lived  to  survive  this  conceited 
Scriblers  Day  and  Minute  whereon  he  has  predicted 
my  Death  ;  and  as  I  have  supplyed  my  Country  with 
Almanacks  for  three  seven  Years  by  past,  to  general 
Satisfaction,  so  perhaps  I  may  live  to  write  when  his 
Performances  are  Dead.  Thus  much  from  your  annual 
Friend,  Titan  Leeds.  October  18,  1733,  3.  ho.  33  min,  P.M." 


26  poor  IRfcbaro  for  1733 

JANUARY. 

More  nice  than  wise. 

Old  batchelor  would  have  a  wife  that 's  wise, 
Fair,  rich,  and  young,  a  maiden  for  his  bed  ; 
Not  proud,  nor  churlish,  but  of  faultless  size, 
A  country  houswife  in  the  city  bred. 

He  's  a  nice  fool,  and  long  in  vain  hath  staid  ; 
He  should  bespeak  her,  there  's  none  ready  made 

Never  spare  the  parson's  wine,  nor  the  baker's  pud 
ding. 

Visits  should  be  short,  like  a  winter's  day, 
I/est  you  're  too  troublesome,  hasten  away. 

A  house  without  woman  and  firelight,  is  like  a  body 
without  soul  or  sprite. 

Kings  and  bears  often  worry  their  keepers. 

FEBRUARY. 

N.  N.  of  B s  county,  pray  don't  be  angry  with  poor 

Richard. 

Ijach  age  of  men  new  fashions  doth  invent ; 

Things  which  are  old,  young  men  do  not  esteem  : 
What  pleas 'd  our  fathers,  doth  not  us  content ; 
What  flourished  then,  we  out  of  fashion  deem  : 
And  that  's  the  reason,  as  I  understand, 
Why  Prodigus  did  sell  his  father's  land. 

lyight  purse,  heavy  heart. 

He  's  a  fool  that  makes  his  doctor  his  heir. 

Ne'er  take  a  wife  till  thou  hast  a  house  (and  a  fire)  to 
put  her  in. 


jpoor  IRicbarD  for  1733  27 

He  's  gone,  and  forgot  nothing  but  to  say  farewell  to 
his  creditors. 

I/ove  well,  whip  well. 


My  love  and  I  for  kisses  play'd, 

She  would  keep  stakes,  I  was  content, 
But  when  1  won,  she  would  be  paid, 
This  made  me  ask  her  what  she  meant  : 
Quoth  she,  since  you  are  in  this  wrangling  vein 
Here  take  your  kisses,  give  me  mine  again. 


I^et  my  respected  friend  J.  G. 

Accept  this  humble  verse  of  me, 

Viz  :  Ingenious,  learned,  envy'd  youth, 

Go  on  as  thou  'st  began  ; 

Even  thy  enemies  take  pride, 

That  thou  'rt  their  countryman. 

Hunger  never  saw  bad  bread. 


Kind  Katherine  to  her  husband  kiss'd  these  words; 
"  Mine  own  sweet  Will,  how  dearly  I  love  thee  !  " 
If  true  (quoth  Will)  the  world  no  such  affords. 
And  that  its  true  I  durst  his  warrant  be  : 
For  ne'er  heard  I  of  woman  good  or  ill, 
But  always  loved  best,  her  own  sweet  Will. 

Great  talkers,  little  doers. 

A  rich  rogue  is  like  a  fat  hog,  who  never  does  good  till 
is  dead  as  a  log. 


28  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1733 

Relation  without  friendship,  friendship  without  power 
power  without  will,  will  without  effect,  effect  without 
profit,  and  profit  without  virtue,  are  not  worth  a 
f  *  *  *  *. 

MAY. 

Mirth  pleaseth  some,  to  others  't  is  offence, 

Some  commend  plain  conceit,  some  profound  sense  ; 

Some  wish  a  witty  jest,  some  dislike  that, 

And  most  would  have  themselves  they  know  not  what. 

Then  he  that  would  please  all,  and  himself  too, 

Takes  more  in  hand  than  he  is  like  to  do. 

The  favour  of  the  great  is  no  inheritance. 
Fools  make  feasts,  and  wise  men  eat  them. 
Beware  of  the  young  doctor  and  the  old  barber. 
He  has  chang'd  his  one  ey'd  horse  for  a  blind  one. 
The  poor  have  little,  beggars  none  ;  the  rich  too  muchj 
enough,  not  one. 
Eat  to  live,  and  not  live  to  eat. 

JUNE. 

"  Observe  the  daily  circle  of  the  sun, 
And  the  short  year  of  each  revolving  moon  : 
By  them  thou  shalt  foresee  the  following  day, 
Nor  shall  a  starry  night  thy  hopes  betray. 
When  first  the  moon  appears,  if  then  she  shrouds 
Her  silver  crescent,  tip'd  with  sable  clouds, 
Conclude  she  bodes  a  tempest  on  the  main, 
And  brews  for  fields  impetuous  floods  of  rain." 

After  three  days  men  grow  weary  of  a  wench,  a  guest, 
and  weather  rainy. 
To  lengthen  thy  life,  lessen  thy  meals. 


poor  Ifticbarfc  for  1733  29 

The  proof  of  gold  is  fire  ;  the  proof  of  woman,  gold  ; 
the  proof  of  man,  a  woman. 
After  feasts  made,  the  maker  scratches  his  head. 

JULY. 

"  Ev'n  while  the  reaper  fills  his  greedy  hands, 
And  binds  the  golden  sheafs  in  brittle  bands, 
Oft  have  I  seen  a  sudden  storm  arise 
From  all  the  warring  winds  that  sweep  the  skies  : 
And  oft  whole  sheets  descend  of  slucy  rain, 
Suck'd  by  the  spungy  clouds  from  off  the  main  ; 
The  lofty  skies  at  once  come  pouring  down, 
The  promis'd  crop  and  golden  labors  drown." 

Many  estates  are  spent  in  the  getting, 

Since  women  for  tea  forsook  spinning  and  knitting. 

He  that  lieth  down  with  dogs,  shall  rise  up  with  fleas. 

A  fat  kitchen,  a  lean  will. 

Distrust  and  caution  are  the  parents  of  security. 

Tongue  double,  brings  trouble. 

AUGUST. 

"  For  us  thro'  twelve  bright  signs  Apollo  guides 
The  year,  and  earth  in  sev'ral  climes  divides. 
Five  girdles  bind  the  skies,  the  torrid  zone 
Glows  with  the  passing  and  repassing  sun. 
Far  on  the  right  and  left,  th'  extreams  of  heav'n, 
To  frosts,  and  snows,  and  bitter  blasts  are  giv'n. 
Betwixt  the  midst  and  these,  the  gods  assign'd 
Two  habitable  seats  for  humane  kind." 

Take  counsel  in  wine,  but  resolve  afterwards  in  water 

He  that  drinks  fast,  pays  slow. 

Great  famine  when  wolves  eat  wolves. 


30  ipoor  fRicbarfc  for  1733 

A  good  wife  lost,  is  God's  gift  lost. 

A  taught  horse,  and  a  woman  to  teach,  and  teachers 
practising  what  they  preach. 
He  is  ill  clothed  that  is  bare  of  virtue. 

SEPTEMBER. 

Death  is  a  fisherman,  the  world  we  see 
His  fish-pond  is,  and  we  the  fishes  be  ; 
His  net  some  general  sickness ;  howe'er  he 
Is  not  so  kind  as  other  fishers  be  ; 
For  if  they  take  one  of  the  smaller  fry, 
They  throw  him  in  again,  he  shall  not  die  : 
But  death  is  sure  to  kill  all  he  can  get, 
And  all  is  fish  with  him  that  conies  to  net. 

Men  and  melons  are  hard  to  know. 

He  's  the  best  physician  that  knows  the  worthlessness 
of  the  most  medicines. 

Beware  of  meat  twice  boil'd,  and  an  old  foe  reconcil'd. 

A  fine  genius  in  his  own  country,  is  like  gold  in  the 
mine. 

There  is  no  little  enemy. 

The  heart  of  the  fool  is  in  his  mouth,  but  the  mouth 
of  the  wise  man  is  in  his  heart. 

OCTOBER. 

Time  was  my  spouse  and  I  could  not  agree, 
Striving  about  superiority  : 

The  text  which  saith  that  man  and  wife  are  one, 
Was  the  chief  argument  we  stood  upon  :  . 
She  held,  they  both  one  woman  should  become  ; 
I  held  they  should  be  man,  and  both  but  one. 
Thus  we  contended  daily,  but  the  strife 
Could  not  be  ended,  till  both  were  one  wife. 


fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1733  31 

The  old  man  has  given  all  to  his  son. 

O  fool !  to  undress  thy  self  before  thou  art  going  to 
bed. 

Cheese  and  salt  meat  should  be  sparingly  eat. 

Doors  and  walls  are  fools  paper. 

Anoint  a  villain  and  he  '11  stab  you,  stab  him,  and  he  '11 
anoint  you. 

Keep  your  mouth  wet,  feet  dry. 

He  has  lost  his  boots,  but  sav'd  his  spurs. 

NOVEMBER. 

My  neighbour  H y  by  his  pleasing  tongue, 

Hath  won  a  girl  that  's  rich,  wise,  fair,  and  young ; 

The  match  (he  saith)  is  half  concluded,  he 

Indeed  is  wondrous  willing  ;  but  not  she, 

And  reason  good,  for  he  has  run  thro'  all 

Almost  the  story  of  the  prodigal ; 

Yet  swears  he  never  with  the  hogs  did  dine  ; 

That 's  true,  for  none  would  trust  him  with  their  swine. 

Where  bread  is  wanting,  all  's  to  be  sold. 
There  is  neither  honour  nor  gain  got  in  dealing  with 
a  vil-lain. 

The  fool  hath  made  a  vow,  I  guess, 
Never  to  let  the  fire  have  peace. 
Snowy  winter,  a  plentiful-  harvest. 
Nothing  more  like  a  fool,  than  a  drunken  man. 

DECEMBER. 

She  that  will  eat  her  breakfast  in  her  bed, 
And  spend  the  morn  in  dressing  of  her  head, 
And  sit  at  dinner  like  a  maiden  bride, 


2  poor  IRfcbarD  for 

And  talk  of  nothing  all  day  but  of  pride  ; 
God  in  his  mercy  may  do  much  to  save  her, 
But  what  a  case  is  he  in  that  shall  have  her. 

God  works  wonders  now  and  then  ; 

Behold  !  a  lawyer,  an  honest  man. 

He  that  lives  carnally,  won't  live  eternally. 

Innocence  is  its  own  defence. 

Time  eateth  all  things,  could  old  poets  say, 

The  times  are  chang'd,  our  times  drink  all  awayc 

Never  mind  it,  she  '1  be  sober  after  the  holidays. 

THE  BENEFIT  OF  GOING  TO  LAW. 
Dedicated  to  the  Countess  of  K— t  and  H-n-r-d-n. 

Two  beggars  travelling  along, 

One  blind,  the  other  lame. 
Pick'd  up  an  oyster  on  the  way, 

To  which  they  both  laid  claim  : 
The  matter  rose  so  high,  that  they 

Resolv'd  to  go  to  law, 
As  often  richer  fools  have  done, 

Who  quarrel  for  a  straw. 
A  lawyer  took  it  straight  in  hand, 

Who  knew  his  business  was 
To  mind  nor  one  nor  t'other  side, 

But  make  the  best  o'  th'  cause, 
As  always  in  the  law  's  the  case  ; 

So  he  his  judgment  gave, 
And  lawyer-like  he  thus  resolv'd 

What  each  of  them  should  have  ; 
Blind  plaintif,  lame  defendant,  share 
The  friendly  laws  impartial  care, 
A  shell  for  him,  a  shell  for  thee, 
The  middle  is  the  lawyer's  fee. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1734. 


PREFACE). 

COURTEOUS  READER. 

Your  kind  and  charitable  assistance  last 
year,  in  purchasing  so  large  an  impression  of  my 
Almanacks,  has  made  my  circumstances  much 
more  easy  in  the  world,  and  requires  my  grate 
ful  acknowledgement.  My  wife  has  been  en 
abled  to  get  a  pot  of  her  own,  and  is  no  longer 
obliged  to  borrow  one  from  a  neighbour  ;  nor 
have  we  ever  since  been  without  something  of 
our  own  to  put  in  it.  She  has  also  got  a  pair 
of  shoes,  two  new  shifts,  and  a  new  warm  pet 
ticoat  ;  and  for  my  part  I  have  bought  a  second 
hand  coat,  so  good  that  I  am  not  now  ashamed 
to  go  to  town  or  be  seen  there.  These  things 
have  render'd  her  temper  so  much  more  pa- 
cifick  than  it  us'd  to  be,  that  I  may  say,  I  have 
slept  more  and  more  quietly  within  this  last 
year,  than  in  the  three  foregoing  years  put  to 


34  Poor  IRfcbarD  tor  1734 

gether.  Accept  my  hearty  thanks  therefor, 
and  my  sincere  wishes  for  your  health  and 
prosperity. 

>,In  the  preface  to  my  last  Almanack,  I  foretold 
the  death  of  my  dear  old  friend  and  fellow-stu 
dent,  the  learned  and  ingenious  Mr.  Titan 
Leeds,  which  was  to  be  the  iyth  of  October, 
1733,  3  h.,  29  m.,  P.M.,  at  the  very  instant  of  the 
of  Q  and  5  .  By  his  own  calculation,  he  was 
to  survive  till  the  26th  of  the  same  month,  and 
expire  in  the  time  of  the  eclipse,  near  1 1  o'clock, 
A.M.  At  which  of  these  times  he  died,  or 
whether  he  be  really  yet  dead,  I  cannot  at  this 
present  writing  positively  assure  my  readers  ; 
for  as  much  as  a  disorder  in  my  own  family  de 
manded  my  presence,  and  would  not  permit  me, 
as  I  had  intended,  to  be  with  him  in  his  last 
moments,yto  receive  his  last  embrace,  to  close 
his  eyes,  and  do  the  duty  of  a  friend  in  perform 
ing  the  last  offices  to  the  departed.  Therefore 
it  is  that  I  cannot  positively  affirm  whether  he 
be  dead  or  not ;  for  the  stars  only  show  to  the 
skilful  what  will  happen  in  the  natural  and 
universal  chain  of  causes  and  effects ;  but  't  is 
well  known,  that  the  events  which  would  oth 
erwise  certainly  happen,  at  certain  times,  in  the 
course  of  nature,  are  sometimes  set  aside  or 
postpon'd,  for  wise  and  good  reasons,  by  the 
immediate  particular  disposition  of  Providence ; 


f>oor  IRicbarD  for  1734  35 

which  particular  dispositions  the  stars  can  by 
no  means  discover  or  foreshow.  There  is,  how 
ever,  (and  I  cannot  speak  it  without  sorrow,) 
^there  is  the  strongest  probability  that  my  dear 
friend  is  no  more  ;  for  there  appears  in  his 
name,  as  I  am  assured,  an  Almanack  for  the 
year  1734,  in  which  I  am  treated  in  a  very  gross 
and  unhandsome  manner,  in  which  I  am  called 
a  false  predicter,  an  ignorant,  a  conceited  scrib 
bler,  a  fool,  and  a  lyar.  Mr.  Leeds  was  too  well 
bred  to  use  any  man  so  indecently  and  so  scur- 
rilously,  and  moreover  his  esteem  and  affection 
for  me  was  extraordinary :  so  that  it  is  to  be 
feared  that  pamphlet  may  be  only  a  contrivance 
of  somebody  or  other,  who  hopes,  perhaps,  to 
sell  two  or  tnree  years'  Almanacks  still,  by  the 
sole  force  and  virtue  of  Mr.  Leeds'  name.  But, 
certainly,  to  put  words  into  the  mouth  of  a  gen 
tleman  and  a  man  of  letters  against  his  friend, 
which  the  meanest  and  most  scandalous  of  the 
people  might  be  ashamed  to  utter  even  in  a 
drunken  quarrel,  is  an  unpardonable  injury  to 
his  memory,  and  an  imposition  upon  the  pub- 
lick. 

Mr.  Leeds  was  not  only  profoundly  skilful  in 
the  useful  science  he  profess' d,  but  he  was  a 
man  of  exemplary  sobriety,  a  most  sincere 
friend,  r.»d  an  exact  performer  of  his  word. 
These  valuable  qualifications,  with  many  others, 


36  floor  ttfcbarfc  for  1734 

so  much  endeared  him  to  me,  that  although  it 
should  be  so,  that,  contrary  to  all  probability, 
contrary  to  my  prediction  and  his  own,  he 
might  possibly  be  yet  alive,  yet  my  loss  of 
honour,  as  a  prognosticate^  cannot  afford  me 
so  much  mortification  as  his  life,  health,  and 
safety,  would  give  me  joy  and  satisfaction. 
I  am, 

Courteous  and  kind  reader, 
Your  poor  friend  and  servant, 

R.  SAUNDERS.*  . 
October  30,  1733. 

Here  I  sit  naked,  like  some  fairy  elf; 

My  seat  a  pumkin  ;  I  grudge  no  man's  pelf, 

Though  I  've  no  bread  nor  cheese  upon  my  shelf. 

I  '11  tell  thee,  gratis,  when  it  safe  is 
To  purge,  to  bleed,  or  cut  thy  cattle,  or—thy  self. 

Good  women  are  like  stars  in  darkest  night, 
Their  virtuous  actions  shining  as  a  light 
To  guide  their  ignorant  sex,  which  oft  times  fall, 
And  falling  oft,  turn  diabolical. 

*  In  "The  American  Almanack"  for  1735,  Mr.  I/eeds 
once  more  replied  to  Poor  Richard's  joking  in  these 
words:  "Corteous  and  Kind  Reader.  My  Almanack 
being  in  its  usual  Method,  needs  no  Explanation  ;  but 
perhaps  it  may  be  expected  by  some  that  I  shall  say 
something  concerning  Poor  Richard,  or  otherwise  Rich 
ard  Saunders 's  Almanack,  which  I  suppose  was  printed 
in  the  Year  1733,  for  the  ensuing  Year  1734,  wherein  he 
useth  me  with  such  good  Manners,  I  can  hardly  find 
what  to  say  to  him,  without  it  is  to  advise  him  not  to  be 
too  proud  because  by  his  Predicting  my  Death,  and  his 
writing  an  Almanack  (I  suppose  at  his  Wifes  Request) 


poor  IRtcbarD  for  1734  37 

Good  women,  sure,  are  angels  on  the  earth  : 
Of  those  good  angels  we  have  had  a  dearth  ; 
And  therefore  all  you  men  that  have  good  wives, 
Respect  their  virtues  equal  with  your  lives. 

JANUARY. 

From  a  cross  neighbour,  and  a  sullen  wife, 
A  pointless  needle,  and  a  broken  knife  ; 
From  suretyship,  and  from  an  empty  purse, 
A  smoaky  chimney,  and  jolting  horse  ; 
From  a  dull  razor,  and  an  aking  head  ; 
From  a  bad  conscience,  and  a  buggy  bed, 
A  blow  upon  the  elbow  and  the  knee  ; 
From  each  of  these,  good  L, — d,  deliver  me. 

You  cannot  pluck  roses  without  fear  of  thorns 
Nor  enjoy  a  fair  wife  without  danger  of  horns. 
Without  justice  courage  is  weak. 
Many  dishes,  many  diseases. 
Many  medicines,  few  cures. 
Where  carcasses  are,  eagles  will  gather, 
And  where  good  laws  are,  much  people  flock  thither. 
Would  you  live  with  ease,  do  what  you  ought,  and  not 
what  you  please. 
Better  slip  with  foot  than  tongue. 

as  he  himself  says,  she  has  got  a  Pot  of  her  own  and  not 
longer  obliged  to  borrow  one  from  a  neighbour,  she  has 
got  also  two  new  Shifts,  a  pair  of  new  Shoes  and  a  new 
warm  Petticoat ;  and  for  his  own  part  he  had  bought  a 
second-hand  Coat  so  good  that  he  is  not  ashamed  to  go 
to  Town,  or  to  be  seen  there,  (Parturiant  Montes  !)  But 
if  Falshood  and  Inginuity  be  so  rewarded,  What  may  he 
expect  if  ever  he  be  in  a  capacity  to  publish  that  that  is 
either  Just  or  according  to  Art?  Therefore  I  shall  say 
little  more  about  it  than,  as  a  Friend,  to  advise  he  will 
never  take  upon  him  to  prsedict  or  ascribe  any  Persons 
Death,  till  he  has  learned  to  do  it  better  than  he  did 
before." 


38  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1734 

FEBRUARY. 

What  death  is,  dost  them  ask  me  ? 

Till  dead  I  do  not  know. 

Come  to  me  when  thou  hear'st  I  'm  dead ; 

Then  what 't  is  I  shall  show. 

To  die  's  to  cease  to  be,  it  seems  ; 

So  learned  Seneca  did  think  ; 

But  we  've  philosophers  of  modern  date, 

Who  say  't  is  death  to  cease  to  drink. 

Hot  things,  sharp  things,  sweet  things,  cold  things, 
all  rot  the  teeth, 

And  make  them  look  like  old  things. 

Blame-all  and  praise-all  are  two  block  heads. 

Be  temperate  in  wine,  in  eating,  girls,  and  sloth,  oi 
the  gout  will  seize  you  and  plague  you  both. 

MARCH. 

Some  of  our  sparks  to  London  town  do  go, 
Fashions  to  see,  and  learu  the  world  to  know ; 
Who  at  return  have  nought  but  these  to  show, 
New  wig  above,  and  new  disease  below. 
Thus  the  jack-ass,  a  traveller  once  would  be, 
And  roam'd  abroad  new  fashions  for  to  see, 
But  home  returned,  fashions  he  had  none, 
Only  his  main  and  tail  were  larger  grown. 

What  pains  our  justice  takes  his  faults  to  hide, 

With  half  that  pains  sure  he  might  cure  'em  quite. 

In  success  be  moderate. 

Take  this  remark  from  Richard,  poor  and  lame, 

Whate'er  's  begun  in  anger,  ends  in  shame. 

What  one  relishes,  nourishes. 

No  man  e'er  was  glorious,  who  was  not  laborious 


poor  IRtcbarfc  tor  1734  39 

APRIL. 

When  Fortune  fell  asleep,  and  Hate  did  blind  her, 
Art,  Fortune  lost,  and  Ignorance  did  find  her. 
Since  when,  dull  Ignorance  with  Fortune's  store, 
Hath  been  inrich'd,  and  Art  hath  still  been  poor. 
Poets  say  Fortune  's  blind,  and  cannot  see, 
But  certainly  they  must  deceived  be  ; 
Klse  could  it  not  most  commonly  fall  out, 
That  fools  should  have,  and  wise  men  go  without. 

All  things  are  easy  to  industry, 

All  things  difficult  to  sloth. 

If  you  ride  a  horse,  sit  close  and  tight, 

If  you  ride  a  man,  sit  easy  and  light. 

A  new  truth  is  a  truth,  an  old  error- is  an  error, 

Tho'  Clodpate  won't  allow  either. 

Don't  think  to  hunt  two  hares  with  one  dog. 

Fools  multiply  folly. 

Beauty  and  folly  are  old  companions. 

Hope  of  gain  lessens  pain. 


Wedlock,  as  old  men  note,  hath  likened  been, 
Unto  a  public  crowd  or  common  rout  ; 
Where  those  that  are  without  would  fain  get  in, 
And  those  that  are  within,  would  fain  get  out. 
Grief  often  treads  upon  the  heels  of  pleasure, 
Marry'd  in  haste,  we  oft  repent  at  leisure  ; 
Some  by  experience  find  these  words  missplaced, 
Marry'd  at  leisure,  they  repent  in  haste. 

Where  there  's  marriage  without  love,  there  will  be 
love  without  marriage. 

lawyers,  preachers,  and  tomtit's  eggs,  there  are  more 
of  them  hatched  than  come  to  perfection. 


40  ipoor  IRicbarD  for  1734 

Be  neither  silly  nor  cunning,  but  wise, 
Neither  a  fortress  nor  am*******  *d  will  holdouf 
long  after  they  begin  to  parley. 
Who  pleasure  gives,  shall  joy  receive. 
Be  not  sick  too  late,  nor  well  too  soon. 

JUNE. 

When  Robin  now  three  days  had  married  been, 

And  all  his  friends  and  neighbours  gave  him  joy, 
This  question  of  his  wife  he  asked  then, 

Why  till  her  marriage  day  she  proved  so  coy  ? 
Indeed  said  he,  't  was  well  thou  didst  not  yield, 

For  doubtless  then  my  purpose  was  to  leavethee 
O,  sir,  I  once  before  was  so  beguil'd, 

And  was  resolved  the  next  should  not  deceive  m* 

All  things  are  cheap  to  the  saving,  dear  to  the  wastefW 
Would  you  persuade,  speak  of  interest,  not  of  reason. 
Some  men  grow  mad  by  studying  much  to  know, 
But  who  grows  mad  by  studying  good  to  grow. 
Happy  's  the  woing  that 's  not  long  a  doing. 
Jack  I4ttle  sow'd  little,  and  little  he  '11  reap. 

JULY. 

A  lawyer  being  sick,  and  extream  ill, 
Was  moved  by  his  friends  to  make  his  will, 
Whieh  soon  he  did,  gave  all  the  wealth  he  had. 
To  frantic  persons,  lunatick  and  mad. 
And  to  his  friends  this  reason  did  reveal, 
(That  they  might  see  with  equity  he  'd  deal,) 
From  madmen's  hands  I  did  my  wealth  receive, 
Therefore  that  wealth  to  madmen's  hands  I  leave. 

There  have  been  as  great  souls  unknown  to  fame  a\ 
any  of  the  most  famous. 


fcoor  IRfcbarD  tor  1734  41 

Do  good  to  thy  friend  to  keep  him,  to  thy  enemy  to 
gain  him. 

A  good  man  is  seldom  uneasy,  an  ill  one  never  easie. 

Teach  your  child  to  hold  his  tongue,  he  '11  learn  fast 
enough  to  speak. 

Don't  value  a  man  for  the  quality  he  is  of,  but  for  the 
qualities  he  possesses. 

Bucephalus,  the  horse  of  Alexander,  hath  as  lasting 
fame  as  his  master. 

AUGUST. 

Some  envious  (speaking  in  their  own  renown,) 

Say  that  my  book  was  not  exactly  done  : 

They  wrong  me  ;  yet,  like  feasts,  I  'd  have  my  books 

Rather  be  pleasing  to  the  guests  than  cooks. 

Ill  thrives  that  hapless  family  that  shows 

A  cock  that 's  silent,  and  a  hen  that  crows  : 

I  know  not  which  lives  more  unnatural  lives, 

Obeying  husbands,  or  commanding  wives. 

Sam's  religion  is  like  a  Cheder  cheese,  't  is  made  of  the 
milk  of  one-and-twenty  parishes. 

Grief  for  a  dead  wife,  and  a  troublesome  guest,  con 
tinues  to  the  threshold,  and  there  is  at  rest, 

But  I  mean  such  wives  as  are  none  of  the  best. 

As  charms  are  nonsense,  nonsense  is  a  charm. 

He  that  cannot  obey,  cannot  command. 

An  innocent  plowman  is  more  worthy  than  a  vicious 
prince. 

SEPTEMBER. 

S 1  the  smith  hath  lately  sworn  and  said, 

That  110  disease  shall  make  him  keep  his  bed ; 
His  reason  is,  I  now  begin  to  smell  it, 


42  fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1734 

He  wants  more  rum,  and  must  be  forc'd  to  sell  it. 

Nor  less  meant  J h,  when  that  vow  he  made, 

Than  to  give  o'er  his  cousening  tapster's  trade  ; 
Who,  check'd  for  short  and  frothy  measure,  swore 
He  never  would  from  thenceforth  fill  pot  more. 

He  that  is  rich  need  not  live  sparingly,  and  he  that  can 
live  sparingly  need  not  be  rich. 

If  you  would  be  reveng'd  of  your  enemy,  govern  your 
self. 

A    wicked    hero    will    turn  his  back  to  an  innocent 
coward. 

I,aws  like  to  cobwebs,  catch  small  flies, 
Great  ones  break  through  before  your  eyes. 
An  egg  to-day  is  better  than  a  hen  to  morrow. 
Drink  water,  put  the  money  in  your  pocket,  and  leave 
the  dry-bellyach  in  the  punch -bowl. 

Strange,  that  he  who  lives  by  shifts,  can  seldom  shift 
himself. 


Altho'  thy  teacher  act  not  as  he  preaches, 
Yet  ne'ertheless,  if  good,  do  what  he  teaches  ; 
Good  counsel,  failing  men  may  give,  for  why, 
He  that 's  aground  knows  where  the  shoal  doth  lie. 
My  old  friend  Berryman  oft,  when  alive, 
Taught  others  thrift,  himself  could  never  thrive  : 
Thus  like  the  whetstone,  many  men  are  wont 
To  sharpen  others  while  themselves  are  blunt. 

The  magistrate  should  obey  the  laws,  the  people  should 
obey  the  magistrate. 

When  't  is  fair,  be  sure  take  your  great  coat  with  you. 
He  docs  not  possess  wealth,  it  possesses  him. 


poor  IRicbaro  for  1734  43 

Necessity  has  no  law  ;  I  know  some  attorneys  of  the 


Onions  can  make  ev'ii  heirs  and  widows  weep. 
As  sore  places  meet  most  rubs,  proud  folks  meet  most 
affronts. 

NOVEMBER. 

Dorothy  would  with  John  be  married  ; 

Dorothy's  wise,  I  trow  : 

But  John  by  no  means  Dorothy  will  wed  ; 

John  's  the  wiser  of  the  two. 

Those  are  my  verses  which  Tom  reads  ; 

That  is  very  well  known, 

Exit  in  reading  he  makes  them  nonsense, 

Then  they  are  his  own. 

The  thrifty  maxim  of  the  wary  Dutch,  is  to  save  all  the 
money  they  can  touch. 

He  that  waits  upon  fortune,  is  never  sure  of  a  dinner. 

A  learned  blockhead  is  a  greater  blockhead  than  an 
ignorant  one . 

Marry  your  son  when  you  will,  but  your  daughter 
when  you  can. 

Avarice  and  happiness  never  saw  each  other,  how 
then  should  they  become  acquainted. 

DECEMBER. 

By  Mrs.  Bridget  Saunders,  my  Dutchess,  in  answer  to  the  December 
verses  of  last  year. 

He  that  for  the  sake  of  drink  neglects  his  trade, 

And  spends  each  night  in  taverns  till  't  is  late, 

And  rises  when  the  sun  is  four  hours  high, 

And  ne'er  regards  his  starving  family, 

God  in  his  mercy  may  do  much  to  save  him, 

But,  woe  to  the  poot  wife,  whose  lot  it  is  to  have  him. 


44  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1734 

Famine,  plague,  war,  and  an  unnumbered  throng  of 
guilt-avenging  ills,  to  man  belongs. 

Is  't  not  enough  plagues,  wars,  and  famine,  rise  to 
lash  our  crimes,  but  must  our  wives  be  wise  ? 

He  that  knows  nothing  of  it,  may  by  chance  be  a 
prophet,  while  the  wisest  that  is  may  happen  to  miss. 

If  you  would  have  guests  merry  with  cheer,  be  so  your 
self,  or  so  at  least  appear. 

Reader,  farewell  !  all  happiness  attend  thee  ; 

May  each  new-year  better  and  richer  find  thee. 

OF  THE  ECLIPSES,  1734. 

There  will  be  but  two  :  The  first,  April  22,  18 
min.  after  5  in  the  morning ;  the  second,  Octo 
ber  15,  36  min.  past  i  in  the  afternoon.  Both 

of  the  Sun  ;  and  both,  like  Mrs. s's  Modest}^ 

and  old  neighbour  Scrape-all's  money,  invisible. 

Or  like  a  certain  storekeeper  late  of county, 

not  to  be  seen  in  these  parts. 

Since  the  Eclipses  take  up  so  little  space,  I 
have  room  to  comply  with  the  new  fashion,  and 
propose  a  mathematical  question  to  the  sons  of 
art,  which,  perhaps,  is  not  more  difficult  to 
solve,  nor  of  less  use  when  solved,  than  some 
of  those  that  have  been  proposed  by  the  ingen 
ious  M.  G y. 

It  is  this  : 

A  certain  rich  man  had  100  orchards,  in  each 
orchard  was  100  apple-trees,  under  each  apple- 
tree  was  loo  hogsties,  in  each  hogstie  was  100 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1734  45 

sows,  and  each  sow  had  100  pigs.     Question, 
How  many  sow-pigs  were  there  among  them  ? 

Note,  the  answer  to  this  question  won't  be 
accepted  without  the  solution. 

Felix  quern  faciunt  aliena  pericula  cautum. 

To  such  a  height  th'  expence  of  COURTS  is  gone, 

That  poor  men  are  redress'd till  they  're  undone. 

William,  your  cause  is  good,  give  me  my  fee,  and  I  '11 
defend  it. 

But,  alas  !  William  is  cast,  the  verdict  goes 
against  him.  Give  me  another  fee,  and  I  '11 
move  the  court  in  arrest  of  judgement.  Then 
sentence  is  confirmed.  T'  other  fee  and  I  '11 
bring  a  writ  of  error.  But  judgement  is  again 
confirmed,  and  Will  condemned  to  pay  costs, 
What  shall  we  do  now,  Master,  says  William, 
Why,  since  it  can't  be  helpt,  there  's  no  more 
to  be  said  ;  pay  the  knave  his  money,  and  I  'm 
satisfied. 

Of  disposition  they  're  most  sweet, 

Their  clients  always  kindly  greet ; 

And  tho'  at  bar  they  rip  old  sores, 

And  brawl  and  scold  like  drunken  w  *  *  *  *  *5 

Their  angers  in  a  moment  pass 

Away  at  night  over  a  glass  ; 

Nay,  often  laugh  at  the  occasion, 

Of  their  premeditated  passion. 

O  may  you  prosper  as  you  treat  us, 

Until  the  d 1  sign  your  quietus. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

This  is  the  third  time  of  my  appearing  in 
print,  hitherto  very  much  to  my  own  satisfac 
tion,  and  I  have  reason  to  hope,  to  the  satis 
faction  of  the  publick  also  ;  for  the  public  is 
generous,  and  has  been  very  charitable  and  good 
to  me.  I  should  be  ungrateful  then,  if  I  did 
not  take  every  opportunity  of  expressing  my 
gratitude  ;  for  ingratum  s/  dixeris  omnia  dix- 
eris.  I  therefore  return  the  publick  my  most 
humble  and  hearty  thanks. 

Whatever  may  be  the  musick  of  the  spheres, 
how  great  soever  the  harmony  of  the  stars,  't  is 
certain  there  is  no  harmony  among  the  star- 
gazers  ;  but  they  are  perpetually  growling  and 
snarling  at  one  another  like  strange  curs,  or 
46 


{poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1735  47 

like  some  men  at  their  wives.  I  had  resolved 
to  keep  the  peace  on  my  own  part,  and  affront 
none  of  them  ;  and  I  shall  persist  in  that  reso 
lution.  But  having  receiv'd  much  abuse  from 
Titan  Leeds  deceas'd,  (Titan  Leeds  when  living 
would  not  have  used  me  so  :)  I  say,  having  re 
ceiv'd  much  abuse  from  -the  ghost  of  Titan 
Leeds,  who  pretends  to  be  still  living,  and  to 
write  Almanacks  in  spight  of  me  and  my  pre 
dictions,  I  cannot  help  saying,  that  tho'  I  take 
it  patiently,  I  take  it  very  unkindly.  And 
whatever  he  may  pretend,  't  is  undoubtedly 
true  that  he  is  really  defunct  and  dead.  First, 
because  the  stars  are  seldom  disappointed, 
never  but  in  the  case  of  wise  men,  sapiens 
dominabitur  astris,  and  they  foreshadowed  his 
death  at  the  time  I  predicted  it.  Secondly, 
't  was  requisite  and  necessary  he  should  die 
punctually  at  that  time  for  the  honor  of  astrol 
ogy,  the  art  professed  both  by  him  and  his 
father  before  him.  Thirdly,  't  is  plain  to  every 
one  that  reads  his  two  last  Almanacks,  (for 
1734  and  ''35,)  that  they  are  not  written  with 
that  life  his  performances  use  to  be  written 
with ;  the  wit  is  low  and  flat ;  the  little  hints 
dull  and  spiritless  ;  nothing  smart  in  them  but 
Hudibras's  verses  against  astrology  at  the  heads 
of  the  months  in  the  last,  which  no  astrologer 
but  a  dead  one  would  have  inserted,  and  no  man 


48  poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1735 

living  would  or  could  write  such  .stuff  as  the 
rest.  But  lastly,  I  shall  convince  him  from  his 
own  words  that  he  is  dead  ;  (ex  ore  suo  condem- 
natus  est,)  for  in  his  preface  to  his  Almanack 
for  1734,  he  says:  "  Saunders  adds  another 
gross  falsehood  in  his  Almanack,  viz.,  that  by 
my  own  calculation,  I  shall  survive  until  the 
26th  of  the  said  month,  October,  1733,  which  is 
as  untrue  as  the  former."  Now  if  it  be  as 
Leeds  says,  untrue  and  a  gross  falsehood,  that 
he  survived  till  the  26th  of  October,  1733,  then 
it  is  certainly  true  that  he  died  before  that  time  ; 
and  if  he  died  before  that  time,  he  is  dead  now 
to  all  intents  and  purposes,  any  thing  he  may 
say  to  the  contrary  notwithstanding.  And  at 
what  time  before  the  26th  is  it  so  likely  he 
should  die,  as  at  the  time  by  me  predicted,  viz., 
the  1 7th  of  October  aforesaid?  But  if  some 
people  will  walk  and  be  troublesome  after 
death,  it  may  perhaps  be  borne  with  a  little, 
because  it  cannot  well  be  avoided,  unless  one 
would  be  at  the  pains  and  expence  of  laying 
them  in  the  Red  Sea  ;  however,  they  should 
not  presume  too  much  upon  the  liberty  allowed 
them.  I  know  confinement  must  needs  be 
mighty  irksome  to  the  free  spirit  of  an  astron 
omer,  and  I  am  too  compassionate  to  proceed 
suddenly  to  extremities  with  it ;  nevertheless, 
tho'  I  resolve  with  reluctance,  I  shall  not  long 


fcoor  IRtcbarD  for  1735  49 

defer,  if  it  does  not  speedily  learn  to  treat  its 
living  friends  with  better  manners. 
I  am, 

Courteous  reader, 
Your  obliged  friend  and  servant, 

R.  SAUNDBRS. 
October  30,  1734. 

Sold  by  the  Printer  hereof, 
LARGE  QUARTO  BIBI.ISS  OF  GOOD  PRINT,  Small 
Bibles,  Testaments,  Psalters,  Primers,  Account 
Books,  demi-royal  and  small  Paper,  Ink,  Ink- 
powder,  Dutch  Quills,  Wafers,  New  Version  of 
Psalms,  Barclay's  Apology,  Beavan's  Primitive 
Christianity,  Vade  Mecum,  Aristotle's  Works, 
with  several  other  diverting  and  entertaining 
Histories.  Also,  all  sorts  of  Blanks  in  the  most 
Authentick  Forms,  and  correctly  printed. 

JANUARY. 

The  two  or  three  necessaries. 

Two  or  three  frolicks  abroad  in  sweet  May, 
Two  or  three  civil  things  said  by  the  way, 
Two  or  three  languishes,  two  or  three  sighs, 
Two  or  three  bless  mg's  and  let  me  die's  ! 
Two  or  three  squeezes,  and  two  or  three  tow-zes, 
With  two  or  three  hundred  pound  spent  at  their  houses, 
Can  never  fail  cuckolding  two  or  three  spouses. 

Bad  commentators  spoil  the  best  of  books, 
So  God  ser.  is  meat,  (thev  say,)  the  devil  cooks. 
3 


50  poor  Uttcbarfc  for  1735 

Approve  not  of  him  who  commends  all  you  say. 
By  diligence  and  patience,  the  mouse  bit  in  two  the 
cable. 

Full  of  courtesie,  full  of  craft. 
I,ook  before,  or  you  '11  find  yourself  behind. 

FEBRUARY. 

Among  the  vain  pretenders  of  the  town, 
Hibham  of  late  is  wondrous  noted  grown  ; 
Hibham  scarce  reads,  and  is  not  worth  a  groat, 
Yet  with  some  high-flown  words  and  a  fine  coat, 
He  struts,  and  talks  of  books,  and  of  estate, 

And  learned  J s  he  calls  his  intimate. 

The  mob  admire  !  thus  mighty  impudence, 
Supplies  the  want  of  learning,  wealth,  and  sense. 

A  little  house  well  fill'd,  a  little  field  well  till'd,  and  a 
little  wife  well  will'd,  are  great  riches. 

Old  maids  lead  apes  there,  where  the  old  batchelors  are 
turn'd  to  apes. 

Some  are  weatherwise,  some  are  otherwise. 

MARCH. 

There  's  many  men  forget  their  proper  station, 
And  still  are  meddling  with  the  administration 
Of  government  ;  that 's  wrong  and  this  is  right, 
And  such  a  law  is  out  of  reason  quite  ; 
Thus,  spending  too  much  thought  on  state  affairs, 
The  business  is  neglected,  which  is  theirs. 
So  some  fond  traveller  gazing  at  the  stars, 
Slips  in  next  ditch,  and  gets  a  dirty  a  *  *  *. 

Dyrro  lynn  y  ddoeth  e  fydd. 

The  poor  man  must  walk  to  get  meat  for  his  stomach , 
the  rich  man  to  get  a  stomach  to  his  meat. 


poor  IRicbaro  for  1735  51 

He  that  goes  far  to  marry,  will  either  deceive  or  be 
deceived. 
Byes  and  priests  bear  no  jests. 

APRIL. 

William,  because  his  wife  was  something  ill, 
Uncertain  in  her  health,  indifferent  still, 
He  turn'd  her  out  of  doors  without  reply  : 
I  ask'd  if  he  that  act  could  justify. 
In  sickness  and  in  health,  says  he,  I  am  bound 
To  keep  her  ;  when  she  's  worse  or  better  found, 
I  '11  take  her  in  again  ;  and  now  you  '11  see, 
She  '11  quickly  either  mend  or  end,  says  he. 

The  family  of  fools  is  ancient. 
Necessity  never  made  a  good  bargain. 
If  pride  leads  the  van,  beggary  brings  up  the  rear. 
There  's  many  witty  men  whose  brains  can't  fill  their 
bellies. 
Weighty  questions  ask  for  deliberate  answers. 


There 's  nought  so  silly,  sure,  as  vanity, 
Itself  its  chiefest  end  does  still  destroy  ; 
To  be  commended  still  its  brains  are  racking, 
But  who  will  give  it  what  it 's  always  taking  ? 
Thou  'rt  fair  't  is  true  ;  and  witty,  too,  I  know  it  -, 
And  well  bred,  Sally,  for  thy  manners  show  it ; 
But  whilst  thou  mak'st  self-praise  thy  only  care, 
Thou  'rt  neither  witty,  nor  well  bred,  nor  fair. 

Be  slow  in  chusing  a  friend,  slower  in  changing. 
Old  Hob  was  lately  married  in  the  night, 
What  needed  day,  his  fair  young  wife  was  light. 
Pain  wastes  the  body  ;  pleasures  the  understanding. 


52  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1735 

The  cunning  man  steals  a  horse,  the  wise  man  lets 
him  alone. 

When   $  and  9  in  conjunction  lie, 

Then,  maids,  whate'er  is  ask'd  of  you,  deny. 

JUNE. 

When  will  the  miser's  chest  be  full  enough  ? 
When  will  he  cease  his  bags  to  cram  and  stuff? 
All  day  he  labours,  and  all  night  contrives, 
Providing  as  if  he  'd  an  hundred  lives. 
While  endless  care  cuts  short  the  common  span  ; 
80  have  I  seen  with  dropsy  swol'n,  a  man, 
Drink  and  drink  more,  and  still  unsatisfied, 
Drink  till  drink  drown 'd  him,  yet  he  thirsty  dy'd. 

A  ship  under  sail  and  a  big-bellied  woman,  are  the 
handsomest  two  things  that  can  be  seen  common. 

Keep  thy  shop,  and  thy  shop  will  keep  thee. 

The  king's  cheese  is  half  wasted  in  parings  ;  but  no 
matter,  't  is  made  of  the  peoples  milk. 

Nothing  but  money,  is  sweeter  than  honey. 

JULY. 

On  Louis  the  XIV.  of  France. 

I^ouis  ('t  is  true,  I  own  to  you) 

Paid  learned  men  for  writing, 

And  valiant  men  for  fighting  ; 

Himself  could  neither  write  nor  fight, 

Nor  make  his  people  happy  ; 

Yet  fools  will  prate,  and  call  him  great, 

Shame  on  their  noddles  sappy. 

Of  learned  fools,  I  have  seen  ten  times  ten  ;  of  unlearned 
wise  men,  I  have  seen  a  hundred. 


{poor  IRicbarfc  for  1735  53 

Three  may  keep  a  secret,  if  two  of  them  are  dead. 
Poverty   wants    some    things,    luxury    many  things, 
avarice  all  things. 

A  lie  stands  on  one  leg,  truth  on  two. 
What 's  given  shines,  what  's  receiv'd  is  rusty. 
Sloth  and  silence  are  a  fool's  virtues. 


Sam  had  the  worst  wife  that  a  man  could  have, 
Proud,  lazy  sot,  could  neither  get  nor  save  ; 
Eternal  scold  she  was,  and  what  is  worse, 

The  d /  burn  thee,  was  her  common  curse. 

Forbear,  quoth  Sam,  that  fruitless  curse,  so  common, 
He  '11  not  hurt  me,  who  've  married  his  kins-woman. 

There  's  small  revenge  in  words,  but  words  may  be 
greatly  revenged. 

Great  wits  jump,  says  the  poet,  and  hit  his  head  against 
the  post. 

A  man  is  never  so  ridiculous  by  those  qualities  that 
are  his  own,  as  by  those  that  he  affects  to  have. 

Deny  self  for  self's  sake. 

SEPTBMBER. 

Blind  are  the  sons  of  men,  few  of  the  kind, 
Know  their  chief  interest,  or  knowing,  mind  ; 
Most,  far  from  following  what  they  know  is  best, 
Trifle  in  earnest,  but  mind  that  in  jest. 
So  Hal,  the  fiddle  tunes  harmoniously, 
While  all  is  discord  in  's  (Economy. 

Tim,  moderate  fare  and  abstinence  much  prizes  in 
pub  lick,  but  in  private  gormandizes. 


54  {poor  IRtcbarD  for  1735 

Ever  since  follies  have  pleased,  fools  have  been  able  to 
divert. 

It  is  better  to  take  many  injuries,  than  to  give  one. 
Opportunity  is  the  great  bawd. 

OCTOBER. 

lyittle  halfwits  are  wondrous  pert,  we  find, 

Scoffing  and  jeering  on  whole  womankind, 

All  false,  all  whores,  all  this,  and  that,  and  t'  other, 

Not  one  exception  left,  ev'n  for  their  mother. 

But  men  of  wisdom  and  experience  know, 

That  there  's  no  greater  happiness  below, 

Than  a  good  wife  affords  ;  and  such  there  's  many, 

For  every  man  has  one  the  best  of  any. 

Early  to  bed  and  early  to  rise,  makes  a  man  healthy, 
wealthy,  and  wise. 

To  be  humble  to  superiors  is  duty,  to  equals  courtesy, 
to  inferiors  nobleness. 

Here  comes  the  orator,  with  his  flood  of  words,  and 
his  drop  of  reason. 

NOVEMBER. 

The  lying  habit  is  in  some  so  strong, 

To  truth  they  know  not  how  to  bend  their  tongue  ; 

And  tho'  sometimes  their  ends  truth  best  would  answer, 

Yet  lies  come  uppermost,  do  what  they  can,  sir, 

Mendacio  delights  in  telling  news, 

And  that  it  may  be  such,  himself  doth  use 

To  make  it ;  but  he  now  no  longer  need  ; 

I,et  him  tell  truth,  it  will  be  news  indeed. 


Sal  laughs  at  every  thing  you  say.    Why  ?  Because  she 
has  fine  teeth. 


poor  IRicbarD  tor  1735  55 

If  what  most  men  admire,  they  would  despise. 
'T  would  look  as  if  mankind  were  growing  wise. 
The  sun  never  repents  of  the  good  he  does,  nor  does  he 
ever  demand  a  recompence. 
An  old  young  man  will  be  a  young  old  man. 

DECEMBER. 

'T  is  not  the  face  with  a  delightful  air, 
A  rosy  cheek,  and  lovely  flowing  hair ; 
Nor  sparkling  eyes  to  best  advantage  set, 
Nor  all  the  members  rang'd  in  alphabet, 
Sweet  in  proportion  as  the  lovely  dies, 
Which  brings  th'  etherial  bow  before  our  eyes, 
That  can  with  wisdom  approbation  find, 
I^ike  pious  morals  and  an  honest  mind, 
By  virtue's  living  laws  from  every  vice  refin'd. 

•  Are  you  angry  that  others  disappoint  you?  remember 
you  cannot  depend  upon  yourself. 

One  mend-fault  is  worth  two  find-faults,  but  one  find- 
fault  is  better  than  two  make-faults. 

Reader,  I  wish  thee  health,  wealth,  happiness,  and 
may  kind  heaven  thy  year's  industry  bless. 

THE  ECUPSES. 

I  shall  not  say  much  of  the  signification  of 
the  Eclipses  this  year,  for  in  truth  they  do  not 
signifie  much  ;  only  I  may  observe  by  the  way, 
that  the  first  eclipse  of  the  Moon  being  cele 
brated  in  =«=  Libra  or  the  Ballance,  foreshews  a 
failure  of  justice,  where  people  judge  in  their 
own  cases.  But  in  the  following  year,  1736, 


56  poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1735 

there  will  be  six  Eclipses,  four  of  the  Sun, 
and  two  of  the  Moon,  which  two  Bclipses  of 
the  Moon  will  be  both  total,  and  portend  great 
revolutions  in  Europe,  particularly  in  Germany, 
and  some  great  and  surprising  events  relating 
to  these  northern  colonies,  of  which  I  purpose 
to  speak  at  large  in  my  next. 

THE  COURTS. 

When  Popery  in  Britain  sway'd,  I  've  read, 

The  lawyers  fear'd  they  should  be  d  *  *  *  'd  when  dead. 

Because  they  had  no  saint  to  hand  their  prayers, 

And  in  Heaven's  court  take  care  of  their  affairs. 

Therefore  consulting,  F^vanus  they  sent 

To  Rome  with  a  huge  purse,  on  this  intent, 

That  to  the  holy  Father  making  known 

Their  woful  case,  he  might  appoint  them  one. 

Being  arriv'd,  he  offered  his  complaint 

In  language  smooth,  and  humbly  begs  a  saint : 

For  why,  says  he,  when  others  on  Heaven  would  call,  ~\ 

Physicians,  seamen,  scholars,  tradesmen,  all 

Have  their  own  saints,  we  lawyers  none  at  all.  ) 

The  pope  was  puzzled,  never  puzzled  worse, 
For  with  pleas'd  eyes  he  saw  the  proffered  purse, 
But  ne'er  in  all  his  knowledge  or  his  reading, 
He  'd  met  with  one  good  man  that  practis'd  pleading  ; 
Who  then  should  be  the  saint?  he  could  not  tell. 
At  length  the  thing  was  thus  concluded  well. 
Within  our  city,  says  his  holiness, 
There  is  one  church  fill'd  with  the  images 
Of  all  the  saints,  with  whom  the  wall  's  surrounded, 
Blindfold  Evanus,  lead  him  three  times  round  it, 
Then  let  him  feel,  (but  give  me  first  the  purse  ;) 
And  take  the  first  he  finds,  for  better  or  worse. 


Ipoor  IRicbarD  for  1735  57 

Round  went  Ijvanus,  till  he  came  where  stood 
St.  Michael  with  the  Devil  under  's  foot ; 
And  groping  round,  he  seized  old  Satan's  head, 
This  be  our  saint,  he  cries  :  Amen,  the  father  said. 
But  when  they  open'd  poor  Evanus'  eyes, 
Alack  !  he  sunk  with  shame  and  with  surprize. 

Says  ^  to  $  Brother,  when  shall  I  see 

Penn's  people  scraping  acquaintance  with  thee  ? 

Says  $  ,  only  2_f  knows  ;  but  this  I  can  tell, 

They  neglect  me  for  Hermes,  they  love  him  too  well. 

O,  if  that  be  the  case,  says  ^  ,  ne'er  fear, 

If  they  're  tender  of  Hermes,  and  holding  him  so  dear 

They  '11  solicit  thy  help  e'er  I  've  finish'd  my  round, 

Using  ,5  Hermes'  foes  to  deter  or  confound. 


POOR   RICHARD   FOR   1736. 



PREFACE. 

LOVING  READERS, 

Your  kind  acceptance  of  my  former  labours 
has  encouraged  me  to  continue  writing,  tho' 
the  general  approbation  you  have  been  so  good 
as  to  favour  me  with,  has  excited  the  envy  of 
some,  and  drawn  upon  me  the  malice  of  others. 
These  ill-willers  of  mine,  despited  at  the  great 
reputation  I  gain'd  by  exactly  predicting 
another  man's  death,  have  endeavoured  to  de 
prive  me  of  it  all  at  once  in  the  most  effectual 
manner,  by  reporting  that  I  myself  was  never 
alive.  They  say,  in  short,  that  there  is  no  such 
a  mav  as  I  a>n  ;  and  have  spread  this  notion 
so  thoroughly  in  the  country,  that  I  have  been 
frequently  told  it  to  my  face  by  those  that  don't 
know  me.  This  is  not  civil  treatment,  to  en 
deavour  to  deprive  me  of  my  very  being,  and 
reduce  me  to  a  non-entity  in  the  opinion  of  the 
publick.  But  so  long  as  I  know  myself  to  walk 
about,  eat,  drink  and  sleep,  I  am  satisfied  that 

-      58 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1736  59 

there  is  really  such  a  man  as  I  am,  whatever 
they  may  say  to  the  contrary.  And  the  world 
may  be  satisfied  likewise,  for  if  there  was 
no  such  man  as  I  am,  how  is  it  possible  I 
should  appear  pubickly  to  hundreds  of  people, 
as  I  have  done  for  several  years  past,  in  print  ? 
I  need  not,  indeed,  have  taken  any  notice  of  so 
idle  a  report,  if  it  had  not  been  for  the  sake  of 
my  printer,  to  whom  my  enemies  are  pleased 
to  ascribe  my  productions  ;  and  who  it  seems  is 
as  unwillingly  to  father  my  offspring  as  I  am  to 
lose  the  credit  of  it.  Therefore,  to  clear  him 
entirely,  as  well  as  to  vindicate  my  own  honour, 
I  make  this  publick  and  serious  declaration, 
which  I  desire  may  be  believed,  to  wit  :  That 
what  I  have  written  heretofore,  and  do  now 
write,  neither  was,  nor  is  written  by  any  other 
man  or  men,  person  or  persons,  whatsoever. 
Those  who  are  not  satisfied  with  this,  must 
needs  be  very  unreasonable. 

My  performance  for  this  year  follows  ;  it 
submits  itself,  kind  reader,  to  thy  censure,  but 
hopes  (for)  thy  candor,  to  forgive  its  faults.  It 
devotes  itself  entirely  to  thy  service,  and  will 
serve  thee  faithfully.  And  if  it  has  the  good 
fortune  to  please  its  master,  't  is  gratification 
enough  for  the  labour  of 

poor 

R.   SAUNDERS. 


60  fcoor  IRicbarD  for  1736 

Presumptuous  man  !  the  reason  would'st  thou  find 
Why  formed  so  weak,  so  little,  and  so  blind  ? 
First,  if  thou  canst,  the  harder  reason  guess, 
Why  formed  no  weaker,  blinder,  and  no  less? 
Ask  of  thy  mother  earth,  why  oaks  are  made 
Taller  or  stronger  than  the  weeds  they  shade  ? 
Or  ask  of  yonder  argent  fields  above, 
Why  Jove's  sattelites  are  less  than  Jove  ? 

JANUARY. 

Some  have  learn't  many  tricks  of  sly  evasion, 

Instead  of  truth  they  use  equivocation, 

And  eke  it  out  with  mental  reservation, 

Which,  to  good  men,  is  an  abomination. 

Our  smith  of  late  most  wonderfully  swore, 

That  whilst  he  breathed  he  would  drink  no  more, 

But  since,  I  know  his  meaning,  for  I  think, 

He  meant  he  would  not  breathe  whilst  he  did  drink. 

He  is  no  clown  that  drives  the  plow,  but  he  that  doth 
clownish  things. 

If  you  know  how  to  spend  less  than  you  get,  you  have 
the  philosopher's-stone. 

The  good  pay-master  is  lord  of  another  man's  purse. 

Fish  and  visitors  smell  in  three  days. 

FEBRUARY. 

Sam's  wife  provok'd  him  once  ;  he  broke  her  crown. 
The  surgeon's  bill  amounted  to  five  pounds  ; 
This  blow  (she  brags)  has  cost  my  husband  dear, 
He  '11  ne'er  strike  more,  Sam  chanc'd  to  overhear. 
Therefore,  before  his  wife  the  bill  he  pays, 
And  to  the  surgeon  in  her  Bearing  says  .- 
Doctor,  you  charge  five  pound,  here  e'en  take  ten, 
My  wife  may  chance  to  want  your  help  again. 


fioor  Iflfcbarfc  for  1736  61 

He  that  has  neither  fools  nor  beggars  among  his  kin 
dred,  is  the  son  of  thunder-gust. 

Diligence  is  the  mother  of  good  luck. 

Do  not  do  that  which  you  would  not  have  known. 

MARCH. 

Whate'er  's  desired,  knowledge,  fame,  or  pelf, 
Not  one  will  change  his  neighbour  with  himself; 
The  learn'd  are  happy  nature  to  explore, 
The  fool  is  happy  that  he  knows  no  more. 
The  rich  are  happy  in  the  plenty  given  ; 
The  poor  contents  him  with  the  care  of  heaven. 
Thus  does  some  comfort  ev'ry  state  attend, 
And  pride  's  bestowed  on  all,  a  common  friend. 

Never  praise  your  cider  or  horse. 

Wealth  is  not  his  that  has  it,  but  his  that  enjoys  it. 

'T  is  easy  to  see,  hard  to  foresee. 

In  a  discreet  man's  mouth  a  publick  thing  is  private. 

APRIL. 

By  nought  is  man  from  beast  distinguished, 
More  than  by  knowledge  in  his  learned  head, 
Then  youth  improve  thy  time,  but  cautious  see 
That  what  thou  learnest  somehow  useful  be  ; 
F^ach  day  improving,  Solon  waxed  old  ; 
For  time  he  knew  was  better  far  than  gold  : 
Fortune  might  give  him  gold  which  would  decay, 
But  fortune  cannot  give  him— yesterday. 

I^et  thy  maid-servant  be  faithful,  strong,  and  homely. 
Keep  flax  from  fire,  youth  from  gaming. 
Bargaining  has  neither  friends  nor  relations. 
Admiration  is  the  daughter  of  ignorance. 
There  's  more  old  drunkards,  than  old  doctors. 


62  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1736 

MAY. 

I^alus  who  loves  to  hear  himself  discourse, 
Keeps  talking  still  as  if  he  frantick  were, 
And  tho'  himself  might  no  where  hear  a  worse; 
Yet  he  no  other  but  himself  will  hear. 
Stop  not  his  mouth,  if  he  be  troublesome, 
But  stop  his  ears,  and  then  the  man  is  dumb. 

Here  comes  Courage  !  that  seized  the  lion  absent,  and 
ran  away  from  the  present  mouse. 

He  that  takes  a  wife  takes  care. 

Nor  eye  in  a  letter,  nor  hand  in  a  purse,  nor  ear  in  the 
secret  of  another. 

He  that  buys  by  the  penny,  maintains  not  only  him 
self,  but  other  people. 

JUNE. 

Things  that  are  bitter,  bitterer  than  gall, 

Physicians  say  are  always  physical  : 

Now  women's  tongues  if  into  powder  beaten, 

May  in  a  potion  or  a  pill  be  eaten, 

And  as  there  's  nought  more  bitter,  I  do  muse, 

That  women's  tongues  in  physick  they  ne'er  use. 

Myself  and  others  who  lead  restless  lives, 

Would  spare  that  bitter  member  of  our  wives. 

He  that  can  have  patience  can  have  what  he  will. 
Now  I  have  a  sheep  and  a  cow,  every  body  bids  me 
^ood-morrow. 

God  helps  them  that  help  themselves. 
Why  does  the  blind  man's  wife  paint  herself? 

JULY. 

Who  can  charge  Ebrio  with  a  thirst  for  wealth  ? 
See,  he  consumes  his  money,  time,  and  health 


fcoor  TCfcbarfc  for  1736  63 

In  drunken  frolicks,  which  will  all  confound, 
Neglects  his  farm,  forgets  to  till  his  ground  ; 
His  stock  grows  less  that  might  be  kept  with  ease  ; 
In  nought  but  guts  and  debts  he  finds  increase  ; 
In  town  reels  as  if  he  'd  shove  down  each  wall, 
Yet  walls  must  stand,  poor  soul,  or  he  must  fall. 

None  preaches  better  than  the  ant,  and  she  says; 
nothing. 

The  absent  are  never  without  fault,  nor  the  present 
without  excuse. 

Gifts  burst  rocks. 

If  wind  blows  on  you  through  a  hole, 

Make  your  will  and  take  care  of  your  soul. 

The  rotten  apple  spoils  his  companion. 

AUGUST. 

The  tongue  was  once  a  servant  of  the  heart, 
And  what  it  gave  she  freely  did  impart  ; . 
But,  now  hypocrisy  is  grown  so  strong, 
The  heart 's  become  a  servant  to  the  tongue. 
Virtue  we  praise,  but  practice  not  her  good, 
(Athenian-like)  we  act  not  what  we  know, 
As  many  men  do  talk  of  Robin  Hood, 
Who  never  did  shoot  arrow  in  his  bow. 

Don't  throw  stones  at  your  neighbors',  if  your  owi 
windows  are  glass. 

The  excellency  of  hogs  is— fatness,  of  men— virtue. 

Good  wives  and  good  plantations  are  made  by  gooc 
husbands. 

He  that  sells  upon  trust,  loses  many  friends,  anc 
always  wants  money. 


64  fcoor  IRicbarD  for  1736 

SEPTEMBER. 

Briscap,  thou  'si  little  judgement  in  thy  head 
More  than  to  dress  thee,  drink  and  go  to  bed  ; 
Yet  thou  shalt  have  the  wall  and  the  way  lead, 
Since  logick  wills  that  simple  things  preceed. 
Walking  and  meeting  one  not  long  ago, 
I  ask'd  who  't  was,  he  said,  he  did  not  know, 
I  said,  I  know  thee  ;  so  said  he,  I  you  ; 
But  he  that  knows  himself  I  never  knew. 

I/overs,  travellers,  and  poets,  will  give  money  to  be 
heard. 

He  that  speaks  much,  is  much  mistaken. 
Creditors  have  better  memories  than  debtors. 
Forewarn 'd,  forearm 'd. 

OCTOBER. 

Whymsical  Will  once  fancy'd  he  was  ill, 

The  Doctor  call'd,  who  thus  examin'd  Will  ; 

How  is  your  appetite  ?    O,  as  to  that 

I  eat  quite  heartily,  you  see  I  'm  fat ; 

How  is  your  sleep  anights  ?    'T  is  sound  and  good  ; 

I  eat,  drink,  sleep,  as  well  as  e'er  I  cou'd. 

Will,  says  the  doctor,  clapping  on  his  hat, 

I  '11  give  you  something  shall  remove  all  that. 

Three  things  are  men  most  likely  to  be  cheated  in,  a 
horse,  a  wig,  and  a  wife. 

He  that  lives  well  is  learned  enough. 

Poverty,  poetry,  and  new  titles  of  honour,  make  men 
ridiculous. 

He  that  scatters  thorns,  l«t  him  not  go  barefoot. 
There  's  none  deceived  but  he  that  trusts. 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1736  65 

NOVEMBER. 

When  you  are  sick,  what  you  like  best  is  to 
be  chosen  for  a  medicine  in  the  first  place  ; 
what  experience  tells  you  is  best,  to  be  chosen 
in  the  second  place  ;  what  reason  (i.  e.  Theory,) 
says  is  best,  is  to  be  chosen  in  the  last  place. 
But  if  you  can  get  Dr.  Inclination,  Dr.  Experi 
ence,  and  Dr.  Reason  to  hold  a  consultation 
together,  they  will  give  you  the  best  advice 
that  can  be  taken. 

God  heals  and  the  doctor  takes  the  fee. 

If  you  desire  many  things,  many  things  will  seem  but 
a  few, 

Mary's  mouth  costs  her  nothing,  for  she  never  opens 
it  but  at  others  expence. 

Receive  betore  you  write,  but  write  before  you  pay. 

I  saw  few  die  of  hunger,  ot  eating — 100,000. 

DECEMBER. 

0  nearer  the  earth  in  winter  than  in  summer, 
15046  miles,  (his  lownes  and  short  appearance 
making  winter  cold,  (•  nearer  in  her  Perigon 
than  Apogem,  69512  :  TJ  nearer  49868  miles  : 
U  nearer  38613  miles  :  $  nearer  80608  miles  : 
?  nearer  6209  miles  :  £  nearer  181427  miles. 
And  yet  £  is  never  distant  from  the  Q  a  whole 
sign,  nor  ot  two.  You  '11  never  find  a  *  Q  £  , 
nor  a  n  O  ?. 

Maids  of  America,  who  gave  you  bad  teeth  f 
Answer.    Hot  soupin^s  an:l  frozen  apples. 
5 


66  poor  IRtcbaro  for  1736 

Marry  your  daughter  and  eat  fresh  fish  betimes. 
He  that  would  live  in  peace  and  at  ease, 
Must  not  speak  all  he  knows,  nor  judge  all  he  sees. 

Adieu. 

In  my  last  year's  Almanack,  I  mentioned  that 
the  visible  Eclipses  of  this  year,  1736,  portended 
some  great  and  surprising  events  relating  to 
these  NORTHERN  COLONIES,  of  which  I  proposed 
this  year  to  speak  at  large.  But  as  those  events 
are  not  to  happen  immediately  this  year,  I  chuse 
rather,  upon  second  thought,  to  defer  farther 
mention  of  them,  till  the  publication  of  my  Al 
manack  for  that  year  in  which  they  are  to 
happen.  However,  that  the  reader  may  not  be 
entirely  disappointed,  here  follow,  for  his  pres- 
ent  amusement,  a  few 

ENIGMATICAL  PROPHECIES, 

Which  they  that  do  not  understand,  cannot  well 
explain. 

I.  Before  the  middle  of  this  year, a  wind  at  N. 
East  will  arise,  during  which  the  water  of  the 
sea  and  rivers  will  be  in  such  a  manner  raised, 
that  great  part  of  the  towns  of  Boston,  New 
port,  New-York,  Philadelphia,  the  low  lands 
of  Maryland  and  Virginia,  and  the  town  of 
Charleston  in  South  Carolina  will  be  under 
water.  Happy  will  it  be  for  the  sugar  and  salt, 
standing  in  the  cellars  of  those  places,  if  there 
be  tight  roofs  and  ceilings  overhead  ;  otherwise 


IRtcbai-5  tor  1736  67 

without  being  a  Conjurer,  a  man  may  easily 
foretel  that  such  commodities  will  receive 
damage. 

2.  About  the  middle  of  the  year,  great  number 
of  vessels  fully  laden,  will  be  taken  out  of  the 
ports  aforesaid,  by  a  power  with  which  we  are 
not  now  at  war,  and  whose  forces  shall  not  be 
descried  or  seen,  either  coming  or  going.     But 
in  the  end  this  may  not  be  disadvantageous  to 
those  places. 

3.  However,  not  long  after,  a  visible  Army  of 
20,000  Musketeers  will  land,  some  in  Virginia 
and  Maryland,  and  some  in  the  lower  counties 
on  both  sides  of  Delaware,  who  will  over-run 
the  country,  and  sorely  annoy  the  inhabitants  : 
But  the  air  in  this  climate  will  agree  with  them 
so  ill  towards  winter,  that  they  will  die  in  the 
beginning  of  cold  weather  like  rotten  sheep, 
and  by  Christmas  the  inhabitants  will  get  the 
better  of  them. 

Note, — In  my  next  Almanack  these  Enig 
matical  Prophecies  will  be  explained. 

For  gratitude  there  's  none  exceed  'em, 
(Their  clients  know  this  when  they  bleed  'em,) 
Since  they  who  give  most  for  their  laws, 
Have  most  returned,  and  carry  th'  Cause. 
All  know,  except  an  arrant  Tory, 
That  Right  and  Wrong 's  meer  Ceremony, 
It  is  enough  that  the  law  jargon, 
Gives  the  best  bidder  the  best  bargain. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1737. 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  AND  KIND  READER, 

This  is  the  fifth  time  I  have  appeared  in 
publick,  chalking  out  the  future  year  for  my 
honest  countrymen,  and  foretelling  what  shall, 
and  what  may,  and  what  may  not  come  to  pass  ; 
in  which  I  have  the  pleasure  to  find  that  I  have 
given  general  satisfaction.  Indeed,  among  the 
multitude  of  our  astrological  predictions,  't  is  no 
wonder  if  some  few  fail  ;  for,  without  any  de 
fect  in  the  art  itself,  't  is  well  known  that  a 
small  error,  a  single  wrong  figure  overseen  in  a 
calculation,  may  occasion  great  mistakes:  But, 
however,  we  Almanack -makers  may  miss  it  in 
other  things,  I  believe  it  will  generally  be  al 
lowed  that  ive  always  hit  the  day  of  the  month, 
and  that  I  suppose  is  esteem 'd  one  of  the  most 
useful  things  in  an  Almanack. 
68 


poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1737  69 

As  to  the  weather,  if  I  was  to  fall  into  the 

method  my  brother  J n  sometimes  uses,  and 

tell  you,  Snow  here,  or  in  New-England, — Rain 
here,  or  in  South  Carolina, — Cold  to  the  north 
ward, —  Warm  to  the  southward,  and  the  like, 
whatever  errors  I  might  commit,  I  should  be 
something  more  secure  of  not  being  detected  in 
them  :  But  I  consider  it  will  be  of  no  service 
to  any  body  to  know  what  weather  it  is  icoo 
miles  off,  and  therefore  I  always  set  down  posi 
tively  what  weather  my  reader  will  have,  be  he 
where  he  will  at  the  time.  We  modestly  desire 
only  the  favourable  allowance  of  a  day  or  two 
before,  and  a  day  or  two  after  the  precise  day 
against  which  the  weather  is  set ; — and  if  it  does 
not  come  to  pass  accordingly,  let  the  fault  be 
laid  upon  the  printer,  who,  't  is  very  like,  may 
have  transposed  or  misplac'd  it,  perhaps  for  the 
conveniency  of  putting  in  his  holidays  :  and 
since,  in  spight  of  all  I  can  say,  people  will  give 
him  great  part  of  the  credit  of  making  my  Al 
manacks,  't  is  but  reasonable  he  should  take 
some  share  of  the  blame. 

I  must  not  here  omit  to  thank  the  publick 
for  the  gracious  and  kind  encouragement  they 
have  hitherto  given  me  : — But  if  the  generous 
purchaser  of  my  labours  could  see  how  often 
his  Fi1  pence  helps  to  light  up  the  comfortable 
fire?  line  the  pot,  fill  the  cup  and  make  glad  the 


70  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1737 

heart  of  a  poor  man,  and  an  honest  good  old 
woman,  he  would  not  think  his  money  ill  laid 
out,  though  the  Almanack  of  his  friend  and 
servant, 

R.  SAUNDBRS, 
were  one  half  blank  paper. 

HINTS  TO  THOSE  THAT  WOULD  BE  RICH. 

The  use  of  money  is  all  the  advantage  there  is  in  hav 
ing  money. 

For  d£  a  year  you  may  have  use  of  100^,  if  you  are  a 
man  of  known  prudence  and  honesty. 

He  that  spends  a  groat  a-day  idly,  spends  idly  above 
&£  a  year,  which  is  the  price  of  using  100^". 

He  that  wastes  idly  a  groat's  worth  of  his  time  per  day^ 
one  day  with  another,  wastes  the  privilege  of  using  100^ 
each  day. 

He  that  idly  loses  $s.  worth  of  time,  loses  55.,  and  migh*. 
as  prudently  throw  $s.  into  the  river. 

He  that  loses  55.  not  only  loses  that  sum,  but  all  the 
other  advantage  that  might  be  made  by  turning  it  in 
dealing,  which,  by  the  time  a  young  man  becomes  old 
amounts  to  a  comfortable  bag  of  money. 

Again,  He  that  sells  upon  credit,  asks  a  price  for  wha' 
he  sells  equivalent  to  the  principal  and  interest  of  his 
money  for  the  time  he  is  like  to  be  kept  out  of  it ; — 
therefore, 

He  that  buys  upon  credit  pays  interest  for  what  he 
buys, 

And  he  that  pays  ready  money,  might  let  that  money 
out  to  use  ;  so  that 

He  that  possesses  atiy  thing  he  has  bought,  pays 
interest  for  the  use  of  it. 


poor  IRicbarfc  for  1737  71 

Consider  then,  when  you  are  tempted  to  buy  any  un 
necessary  household  stuff,  or  any  superfluous  thing, 
whether  you  will  be  willing  to  pay  interest,  and  interest 
upon  interest  for  it  as  long  as  you  live,  and  more  if  it 
grows  worse  by  using. 

Yet,  in  buying  goods,  Y  is  best  to  pay  ready  money,  because, 

He  that  sells  upon  credit,  expects  to  lose  5  per  cent  by 
bad  debts  ;  therefore  he  charges  on  all  he  sells  upon 
credit,  an  advance  that  shall  make  up  that  deficiency. 

Those  who  pay  for  what  they  buy  upon  credit,  pay 
their  share  of  this  advance. 

He  that  pays  ready  money,  escapes,  or  may  escape, 
that  charge. 

A  penny  saved  is  twopence  clear.  A  pin  a-day  is  a  groat 
a-year.  Save  and  have. 

Every  little  makes  a  mickle. 

JANUARY. 

God  offer'd  to  the  Jews  salvation, 
And  'twas  refus'd  by  half  the  nation  : 
Thus  (tho'  't  is  life's  great  preservation), 
Many  oppose  innoculation. 
We  're  told  by  one  of  the  black  robe, 
The  devil  innoculated  Job  : 
Suppose  't  is  true,  what  he  does  tell ; 
Pray,  neighbours,  dtd  not  Job  do  well  f 

The  master-piece  of  man,  is  to  live  to  the  purpose. 

He  that  steals  the  old  man's  supper  do's  him  no  wrong 

FEBRUARY. 

The  Thracian  infant,  entering  into  life, 
Both  parents  mourn  for,  both  receive  with  grief, 
The  Thracian  infant  snatched  by  Death  away, 
Both  parents  to  the  grave  with  joy  convey. 


72  poor  IRfcbaro  for  1737 

This  Greece  and  Rome  you  with  derision  view, 
This  is  meet  Thracian  ignorance  to  you  ; 
But  if  you  weigh  the  custom  you  despise, 
This  Thracian  ignorance  may  teach  the  wise. 

A  countryman  between  two  lawyers,  is  like  a  fish 
between  two  cats. 

He  that  can  take  rest  is  greater  than  he  that  can  take 
cities. 

The  miser's  cheese  is  wholesomest. 


Doris  a  widow  past  her  prime, 

Her  spouse  long  dead,  her  wailing  doubles  ; 
Her  real  griefs  increase  by  time  ; 

What  might  abate,  improves  her  troubles. 
Those  pangs  her  prudent  hopes  supprest, 

Impatient  now  she  cannot  smother, 
How  should  the  helpless  woman  rest  ? 

One  's  gone  ; — nor  can  she  get  another. 

I^ove  and  I^ordship  hate  companions. 

The  nearest  way  to  come  at  glory,  is  to  do  that  for 
conscience  which  we  do  for  glory. 

There  is  much  money  given  to  be  laught  at,  though 
the  purchasers  don't  know  it;  witness  A's  fine  horse, 
and  B's  fine  house. 


A  nymph  and  a  swain  to  Apollo  once  prayed, 

The  swain  had  been  jilted,  the  nymph  been  betray'd  ; 

They  came  for  to  try  if  his  oracle  knew, 

K'er  a  nymph  that  was  chaste,  or  a  swain  that  was  true. 

Apollo  stood  mute,  and  had  like  t'  have  been  pos'd, 

At  length  he  thus  sagely  the  question  disclos'd  ; 


Ipoor  IRicbarfc  for  1737  73 

He  alone  may  be  true  in  whom  none  will  confide, 

And  the  nymph  may  be  chaste  that  has  never  been  try 'd. 

He  that  can  compose  himself,  is  wiser  than  he  that 
composes  books. 

Poor  Dick  eats  like  a  well  man,  and  drinks  like  a  sick 
After  crosses  and  losses,  men  grow  humbler  and  wiser 
I^ove,  cough,  and  a  smoke,  can't  well  be  hid. 


Rich  Gripe  does  all  his  thoughts  and  cunning  bend, 
T'  increase  that  wealth  he  wants  the  soul  to  spend, 
Poor  Shifter  does  his  whole  contrivance  set, 
To  spend  that  wealth  he  wants  the  sense  to  get. 
How  happy  would  appear  to  each  his  fate, 
Had  Gripe  his  humour,  or  he  Gripe's  estate  ? 
Kindyafe  and  fortune,  blend  'em  if  you  can, 
And  of  two  wretches  make  one  happy  man. 

Well  done  is  better  than  well  said. 

Fine  linnen,  girls  and  gold  so  bright. 

Chuse  not  to  take  by  candle  light. 

He  that  can  travel  well  a-foot,  keeps  a  good  horse. 

There  are  no  ugly  loves,  nor  handsome  prisons. 

No  better  relation  than  a  prudent  and  faithful  friend 

JUNE. 

Boy,  bring  a  bowl  of  china  here, 
Fill  it  with  water  cool  and  clear  ; 
Decanter  with  Jamaica  ripe, 
And  spoon  of  silver,  clean  and  bright, 
Sugar  twice-fin'd  in  pieces  cut, 
Knife,  sieve,  and  glass  in  order  put, 
Bring  forth  the  fragrant  fruit,  and  then 
We  're  happy  till  the  clock  strikes  ten, 


74  poor  IRtcbarfc  tor  1737 

A  traveller  should  have  a  hog's  nose,  deer's  legs,  and 
an  ass's  back. 

At  the  working  man's  house  hunger  looks  in,  but 
dares  not  enter. 

A  good  lawyer,  a  bad  neighbour. 

JULY. 

Impudent  Jack,  who  now  lives  by  his  shifts, 
Borrowing  of  driblets,  boldly  begging  gifts, 
For  twenty  shillings  lent  him  t'other  day, 
(By  one  who  ne'er  expected  he  would  pay.) 
On  his  friend's  paper  fain  a  note  wou'd  write  ; 
His  friend,  as  needless,  did  refuse  it  quite  ; 
Paper  was  scarce,  and  't  was  too  hard,  it  's  true, 
To  part  with  cash,  and  lose  his  paper  too. 

Certainlie  these  things  agree,  the  priest,  the  lawyer, 

and  death,  all  three  ; 

Death  takes  both  the  weak  and  the  strong, 
The  lawyer  takes  from  both  right  and  wrong, 
And  the  priest  from  the  living  and  dead  has  his  fee. 
The  worst  wheel  of  the  cart  makes  the  most  noise. 

AUGUST. 
Oa  his  death  bed  poor  I^ubin  lies  ; 

His  spouse  is  in  despair  ; 
With  frequent  sobs,  and  mutual  cries 

They  both  express  their  care. 
A  diff 'rent  cause,  says  parson  Sly, 

•The  same  effect  may  give, 
Poor  Lubin  fears  that  he  shall  die  ; 
His  wife-  that  he  may  live. 

Don't  misinform  your  doctor  nor  your  lawyer. 

never  saw  an  oft-transplanted  tree, 
Nor  yet  an  oft-removed  family, 
That  throve  so  well  as  those  that  settled  be. 


(poor  IRtcbarD  for  1737  75 

SEPTEMBER. 

To-morrow  you  '11  reform,  you  always  cry  ; 
In  what  /ar  country  does  this  morrow  lie, 
That  't  is  so  mighty  long  ere  it  arrive  ? 
Beyond  the  Indies  does  this  morrow  live  ? 
'T*is  so  far-fetched,  this  morrow,  that  I  fear 
'T  will  bs  both  very  old,  and  very  dear. 
To-morrow  I  '11  reform,  the  fool  does  say ; 
To-day  itself 's  too  late  ; — the  wise  did  yesterday. 

I/et  the  letter  stay  for  the  post,  and  not  the  post  for 
the  letter. 
Three  good  meals  a  day  is  bad  living. 

'T  is  better  leave  for  an  enemy  at  one's  death,  than 
beg  of  a  friend  in  one's  life. 

To  whom  thy  secret  thou  dost  tell, 
To  him  thy  freedom  thou  dost  sell. 

OCTOBER. 

On  T.  T.  who  destroyed  his  Landlord's  fine  wood. 

Indulgent  nature  to  each  kind  bestows, 

A  secret  instinct  to  discern  its  foes  : 

The  goose,  a  silly  bird,  avoids  the  fox  ; 

I/ambs  fly  from  wolves  ;  and  sailors  steer  from  rocks  ; 

A  rogue  the  gallows,  as  his  fate,  foresees, 

And  bears  the  like  antipathy  to  trees. 

If  you  'd  have  a  servant  that  you  like,  serve  yourself. 

He  that  pursues  two  hares  at  once,  does  not  catch  one 
and  lets  t'  other  go. 

If  you  want  a  neat  wife,  chuse  her  on  a  Saturday. 
If  you  have  time,  don't  wait  for  time. 


76  poor  TRicbarfc  for  1737 

NOVEMBER. 

You  say  you  '11  spend  five  hundred  pound, 

The  world  and  men  to  know, 
And  take  a  tour  all  Europe  round, 

Improving  as  you  go. 
Dear  Sam,  in  search  of  other's  sense, 

Discover  not  your  own  ; 
But  wisely  double  the  expence, 

That  you  may  pass  unknown. 

Tell  a  miser  he  's  rich,  and  a  woman  she  's  old,  you  '11 
get  no  money  of  one,  nor  kindness  oft'  other. 

Don't  go  to  the  doctor  with  every  distemper,  nor  to  the 
lawyer  with  every  quarrel,  nor  to  the  pot  for  every 
thirst. 

DECEMBER. 

Women  are  books,  and  men  the  readers  be, 

Who  sometimes  in  those  books  erratas  see  ; 

Yet  oft  the  reader  's  raptured  with  each  line, 

Fair  print  and  paper,  fraught  with  sense  divine  ; 

Tho'  some,  neglectful,  seldom  care  to  read, 

And  faithful  wives  no  more  than  bibles  heed. 

Are  women  books?  says  Hodge,  then  would  mine  were 

An  Almanack,  to  change  her  every  year. 

The  creditors  are  a  superstitious  sect,  great  observers 
of  set  days  and  times. 

The  noblest  question  in  the  world  is,  What  good  may  I 
do  in  it  ? 

Nee  sibi,  sed  toto,  genitum  se  credere  mundo.* 

Nothing  so  popular  as  goodness. 

*  To  believe  himself  born,  not  for  himself,  but  for  the 
whole  world. -lyUCAN,  "  Pharsalia," 


poor  IRicbarfc  for  1737  7? 

In  my  last  I  published  some  Enigmatical 
Prophecies,  which  I  did  not  expect  any  one 
would  take  for  serious  predictions.  The  ex 
planation  I  promised  follows,  viz : 

1.  The  water  of  the  sea  and  rivers  is  raised  in 
vapours  by  the  sun,  is  form'd  into  clouds  in  the 
air,  and  thence  descends  in  rain.  Now  when  there 
is  rain  overhead  (which  frequently  happens  when 
the  wind  is  at  N.B.)  the  cities  and  places  on  the 
earth  below,  are  certainly  under  water. 

2.  The  power  with  which  we  were  not  then  at 
war,  but  which,  it  was  said,  would  take  many 
full  laden  vessels  out  of  our  ports  before  the  end 
of  the  year,  is  the  WIND,  whose  forces  also  are 
not  descried  either  coming  or  going. 

3.  The  army  which  it  was  said  would  land  in 
Virginia,  Maryland,  and  the  lower  counties  on 
Delaware,  were  not  Musketeers,  with  guns  on 
their  shoulders  as  some    expected  ;    but  their 
namesakes,  in  pronunciation,  tho'   truly  spelt 
Moschitos,  arm'd  only  with  a  sharp  sting.  Every 
one  knows  they  are  fish  before  they  fly,  being 
bred  in  the  water  ;  and  therefore  may  properly 
be  said  to  land  before  they  become  generally 
troublesome. 

A  WONDERFUL  PROPHECY. 

For  jfanuary,  1737,  -which  consists  entirely  of  odd  figures. 

E'er  of  this  odd  odd  year  one  month  has  roll'd, 
What  wonders,  reader,  shall  the  world  behold  I 


78  fcoor  IRtcbarfc  for  1737 

Four  kings  with  mighty  force  shall  Albion's  isle 
Infest  with  wars  and  tumults  for  a-while  ; 
Then  some  shall  unexpected  treasures  gain, 
While  some  mourn  o'er  an  empty  purse  in  vain  • 
And  many  a  Christian's  heart  shall  ake  for  fear, 
When  they  the  dreadful  sound  of  trump  -shall  hear, 
Dead  bones  shall  then  be  tumbled  up  and  down, 
In  every  city  and  in  every  town. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1738. 


PREFACE  BY  MISTRESS  SAUNDERS. 

DEAR  READERS, 

My  good  man  set  out  last  week  for  Potow- 
mack,  to  visit  an  old  stargazer  of  his  acquaint 
ance,  and  to  see  about  a  little  place  for  us  to 
settle  and  end  our  days  on.  He  left  a  copy  of 
his  Almanack  seal'd  up,  and  bid  me  send  it  to 
the  press.  I  suspected  something,  and  therefor, 
as  soon  as  he  was  gone,  I  open'd  it,  to  see  if  he 
had  not  been  flinging  some  of  his  old  skitts  at 
me.  Just  as  I  thought,  so  it  was.  And  truly 
(for  want  of  something  else  to  say,  I  suppose,) 
he  had  put  into  his  preface,  that  his  wife  Bridget 
was  this,  and  that,  and  t'  other.  What  a  pease- 
cods  !  cannot  I  have  a  little  fault  or  two,  but  all 
the  country  must  see  it  in  print !  They  have 
already  been  told,  at  one  time  that  I  am  proud, 
another  time  that  I  am  loud,  and  that  I  have 


8o  fcoor  ttfcbarfc  for  1738 

got  a  new  petticoat,  and  abundance  of  that  kind 
of  stuff ;  and  now  forsooth  !  all  the  world  must 
know,  that  poor  Dick's  wife  has  lately  taken  a 
fancy  to  drink  a  little  tea  now  and  then.  A 
mighty  matter  truly,  to  make  a  song  of !  'T  is 
true  I  had  a  little  tea  of  a  present  from  the 
Printer  last  year  ;  and  what,  must  a-body  throw 
it  away  ?  In  short,  I  thought  the  preface  was 
not  worth  a-printing,  and  so  I  fairly  scratch'd  it 
all  out,  and  I  believe  you  '11  like  our  Almanack 
never  the  worse  for  it. 

Upon  looking  over  the  months,  I  see  he  has 
put  in  abundance  of  foul  weather  this  year  ; 
and  therefor  I  have  scattered  here  and  there, 
where  I  could  find  room,  some  fair,  pleasant, 
sunshiny,  &c.,  for  the  good  women  to  dry  their 
clothes  in.  If  it  does  not  come  to  pass  accord 
ing  to  my  desire,  I  have  shown  my  goodwill, 
however  ;  and  I  hope  they  '11  take  it  in  good  part. 

I  had  a  design  to  make  some  other  correc 
tions  ;  and  particularly  to  change  some  of  the 
verses  that  I  don't  very  well  like ;  but  I  have 
just  now  unluckily  broke  my  spectacles  ;  which 
obliges  me  to  give  it  you  as  it  is,  and  conclude 
Your  loving  friend, 

BRIDGET  SAUNDBRS. 

You  will  excuse  me,  dear  readers,  that  1 
afford  you  no  eclipses  of  the  moon  this  year. 


floor  IRfcbarfc  for  1738  81 

The  truth   is,  I  do  not  find  they  do  you  any 
good. 

When  there  is  one  you  are  apt  in  observing 
it  to  expose  yourselves  too  much  and  too  long 
to  the  night  air,  whereby  great  numbers  of  you 
catch  cold.  Which  was  the  case  last  year,  to 
my  very  great  concern.  However,  if  you  will 
promise  to  take  more  care  of  yourselves,  you 
shall  have  a  fine  one  to  stare  at  the  year  after 
next. 

JANUARY. 

Dick's  wife  was  sick,  and  pos'd  the  doctors'  skill, 
Who  differ'd  how  to  cure  th'  inveterate  ill. 
Purging  the  one  prescribed.     No,  quoth  another, 
That  will  do  neither  good  nor  harm,  my  brother, 
Bleeding  's  the  only  way  ;  't  was  quick  reply 'd, 
That  's  certain  death  ;  but  e'en  let  Dick  decide. 
"  J'se  no  great  skill  "  quo'  Richard,  "  by  the  Rood, 
But  I  think  bleeding  '<>  like  to  do  most  good." 

There  are  three  faithful  friends — an  old  wife,  an  old 
dog,  and  ready  money. 

Great  talkers  should  be  crop'd,  for  they  have  no  need 
of  ears. 

If  you  would  have  your  shoes  last,  put  no  nails  in  'em. 

Who  has  deceiv'd  thee  so  oft  as  thyself? 

FEBRUARY. 

In  Christendom  we  all  are  Christians  now, 

And  thus  I  answer,  if  you  ask  me  how  ; 

Where  with  Christ's  rules  our  lives  will  not  comply, 

We  bend  it  like  a  rule  of  lead,  say  I  ; 

Making  it  thus  comply  with  what  we  be, 


82  fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1738 

And  only  thus  our  lives  with  th'  rule  agree. 

But  from  our  fathers  we  've  the  name  perchance, 

So  as  our  king  is  called  the  king  of  France. 

Is  there  anything  men  take  more  pains  about  than  to 
make  themselves  unhappy  ? 

Nothing  brings  more  pain  than  too  much  pleasure  ; 
nothing  more  bondage  than  too  much  liberty,  (or  lib 
ertinism). 

Read  much,  but  not  too  many  books. 

MARCH. 

Jack's  wife  was  born  in  Wiltshire,  brought  up 
in  Cumberland,  led  much  of  her  life  in  Bed 
fordshire,  sent  her  husband  into  Hunting  ton- 
shire  in  order  to  send  him  into  Buckingham 
shire.  But  he  took  courage  in  Hartfordshire, 
and  carried  her  into  Staffordshire,  or  else  he 
might  have  lived  and  died  in  Shrewsbury. 

He  that  would  have  a  short  I^ent,  let  him  borrow 
money  to  be  repaid  at  faster. 

Write  with  the  learned,  pronounce  with  the  vulgar. 
Fly  pleasures,  and  they  '11  follow  you. 


The  Old  Gentry. 

That  all  from  Adam  first  begun, 
Since  none  but  Whiston  doubts, 

And  that  his  son,  and  his  son's  son 
Were  ploughmen,  clowns  and  louts  ; 


fcoor  TClcbarD  for  173S  83 

Here  lies  the  only  difference  now, 

Some  shot  off  late,  some  soon  ; 
Your  sires  i'  th'  morning  left  the  plow, 

And  ours  i'  th'  afternoon. 

Caesar  did  not  merit  the  triumphal  car  more  than  he 
that  conquers  himself. 

Hast  thou  virtue  ?— acquire  also  the  graces  and  beau 
ties  of  virtue. 

Buy  what  thou  hast  no  need  of,  and  e'er  long  thou 
Shalt  sell  thy  necessaries. 

If  thou  hast  wit  and  learning,  add  to  it  wisdom  and 
modesty. 

MAY. 

A  Frugal  Thought. 

In  an  acre  of  land  are  43,560  square  feet. 

In  100  acres  are  4,356,000  square  feet ; 

Twenty  pounds  will  buy  100  acres  of  the  proprietor, 

In  £x>  are  4,800  pence  ;  by  which  divide  the 

Number  of  feet  in  100  acres  ;  and  you  will  find 

That  one  penny  will  buy  907  square  feet ;  or 

A  lot  of  30  feet  square — Save  your  pence. 

You  may  be  more  happy  than  princes,  if  you  will  be 
more  virtuous. 

If  you  would  not  be  forgotten,  as  soon  as  you  are  dead 
and  rotten,  either  write  things  worth  reading,  or  do 
things  worth  the  writing. 

Sell  not  virtue  to  purchase  wealth,  nor  liberty  to  pur 
chase  power. 

JUNE. 

Epitaph  on  a  talkative  Old  Maid. 
Beneath  this  silent  stone  is  laid, 
A  noisy,  antiquated  maid, 
Who,  from  her  cradle  talk'd  till  death, 
And  ne'er  before  was  out  of  breath. 


84  poor  tfticbarfc  tor  1738 

Whither  she  's  gone  we  cannot  tell ; 

For  if  she  talks  not,  she  's  in ! 

If  she  's  in ,  she  's  there  unblest 

Because  she  hates  a  place  of  rest. 

Let  thy  vices  die  before  thee. 

Keep  your  eyes  wide  open  before  marriage,  half  shut 
afterwards. 

The  ancients  tell  us  what  is  best ;  but  we  must  learn 
of  the  moderns  what  is  fittest. 

JULY. 

One  month  a  lawyer,  thou  the  next  will  be 
A  grave  physician,  and  the  third  a  priest : 
Chuse  quickly  one  profession  of  the  three, 
Marry'd  to  her  thou  yet  may'st  court  the  rest. 
Resolve  at  once  ;  deliberate  no  more  ; 
I,eap  in,  and  stand  not  shiv'ring  on  the  shore. 
On  any  one  amiss  thou  can'st  not  fall ; 
Thou  'It  end  in  nothing,  if  thou  grasps  at  all. 

Since  I  cannot  govern  my  own  tongue  tho'  within  my 
own  teeth,  how  can  I  hope  to  govern  the  tongues  of 
others  ? 

'T  is  less  discredit  to  abridge  petty  charges,  than  to 
stoop  to  petty  gettings. 

Since  thou  art  net  sure  of  a  minute,  throw  not  away 
an  hour. 

AUGUST. 

While  faster  than  his  costive  brain  indites, 
Philo's  quick  hand  in  flowing  nonsense  writes, 
His  case  appears  to  me  like  honest  Teague's, 
When  he  was  run  away  with  by  his  legs. 
Phoebus,  give  Philo  o'er  himself  command  ; 
Quicken  his  senses,  or  restrain  his  hand  ; 
Let  him  be  kept  from  paper,  pen  and  ink  ; 
So  he  may  cease  to  write  and  learn  to  think. 


IRicbarfc  for  1738  85 

If  you  do  what  you  should  not,  you  must  hear  what 
you  would  not. 

Defer  not  thy  well  doing  ;  be  not  like  St.  George,  who 
is  always  a-horseback,  and  never  rides  on. 

Wish  not  so  much  to  live  long,  as  to  live  well. 


These  lines  may  be  read  backward  or  forward. 
Joy,  Mirth,  Triumph,  I  do  defie  : 
Destroy  me  death  fain  would  I  die  : 
Forlorn  am  I,  love  is  exil'd, 
Scorn  smiles  thereat ;  hope  is  beguil'd, 

Men  banish'd  bliss,  in  woe  must  dwell, 
Then  joy,  mirth,  triumph,  all  farewell. 

As  we  must  account  for  every  idle  word,  so  we  must  for 
every  idle  silence. 

I  have  never  seen  the  Philosopher's  stone  that  turnslead 
into  gold,  but  I  have  known  the  pursuit  of  it  turn  a  man's 
gold  into  lead. 

Never  intreat  a  servant  to  dwell  with  thee. 

OCTOBER. 

A   doubtful  meaning. 

The  female  kind  is  counted  ill : 

And  is  indeed  :  the  contrary  ; — 

No  man  can  find  :  that  hurt  they  will : 

But  every  where  :  shew  charity  : 

To  nobody  ;  malicious  still ; 

In  word  or  deed  :  believe  you  me. 

Time  is  an  herb  that  cures  all  diseases. 

Reading  makes  a  full  man— meditation  a  profound 
man— discourse  a  clear  man. 

If  any  man  flatters  me,  I  '11  flatter  him  again,  though 
he  were  my  best  friend. 


86  poor  IRicbaro  for  1738 

NOVEMBER. 

A  monster  in  a  course  of  vice  grown  old, 
Iveaves  to  his  gaping  heir  his  ill  gain'd  gold  ; 
The  preacher  fee'd,  strait  are  his  virtues  shown  ; 
And  render'd  lasting  by  the  sculptur'd  stone. 
If  on  the  stone  or  sermon  we  rely, 
Pity  a  worth  like  his,  should  ever  die  ! 
If  credit  to  his  real  life  we  give, 
Pity  a  wretch  like  him,  should  ever  live. 

Wish  a  miser  long  life,  and  you  wish  him  no  good. 

None  but  the  well-bred  man  knows  how  to  confess  a 
fault,  or  acknowledge  himself  in  an  error. 

Drive  thy  business  ;— let  not  that  drive  thee. 

There  is  much  difference  between  imitating  a  good 
man,  and  counterfeiting  him. 

DECEMBER. 

The  wise  man  says,  it  is  a  wise  man's  part 

To  keep  his  tongiie  close  prisoner  in  his  heart. 

If  he  then  be  a  fool  whose  thought  denies 

There  is  a  God,  how  desp'rately  unwise, 

How  much  more  fool  is  he,  whose  language  shall 

Proclaim  in  public,  there  's  no  God  at  all : 

What  then  are  they,  nay  fools  in  what  degree, 

Whose  actions  shall  maintain  't  ?  —Such  fools  are  we, 

Wink  at  small  faults — remember  thou  hast  great  ones. 
Hat  to  please  thyself,  but  dress  to  please  others. 
Search  others  for  their  virtues,  thyself  for  thy  vices. 
Never  spare  the  parson's  wine,  nor  baker's  pudding. 
Each  year  one  vicious  habit  rooted  out, 
In  time  might  make  the  worst  man  good  throughout. 

Ready  money  for  OLD  RA  GS  may  be  had  of  the.  printer 

hereof;  by  whom  is  made  and  sold  very  good 

LAMPBLACK. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1739. 


PREFACE. 

KIND  READER, 

Encouraged  by  thy  former  generosity,  I 
once  more  present  thee  with  an  almanack, 
which  is  the  yth  of  my  publication.  While 
thou  art  putting  pence  in  my  pocket,  and  fur 
nishing  my  cottage  with  necessaries,  Poor  Dick 
is  not  unmindful  to  do  something  for  thy  bene 
fit.  The  stars  are  watch'  d  as  narrowly  as  old  Bess 
watch 'd  her  daughter  that  thou  may'st  be  ac 
quainted  with  their  motions,  and  told  a  tale  of 
their  influences  and  effects,  which  may  do  thee 
more  good  than  a  dream  of  last  year's  snow. 

Ignorant  men  wonder  how  we  astrologers 
foretell  the  weather  so  exactly  unless  we  deal 
with  the  old  black  devil.  Alas  !  't  is  as  easy 

as .     For  instance  ;  The  stargazer 

peeps  at  the  heavens  thro'   a  long  glass  :  He 
sees  perhaps  TAURUS  or  the  great  bull,  in  a 


88  jpoor  IRicbarD  tor  1739 

mighty  chase,  stamping  on  the  floor  of  his 
house,  swinging  his  tail  about,  stretching  out 
his  neck,  and  opening  wide  his  mouth.  'T  is 
natural  from  these  appearances  to  judge  that 
this  furious  bull  is  puffing,  blowing  and  roar 
ing.  Distance  being  considered  and  time  al- 
low'd  for  all  this  to  come  down, — there  you 
have  wind  and  thunder. — He  spies  perhaps 
Virgo  (or  the  virgin)  she  turns  her  head  round 
as  it  were  to  see  if  anybody  observ'd  her  ;  then 
crouching  down  gently,  with  her  hands  on  her 
knees,  she  looks  wistfully  for  a  while  right  for 
ward.  He  judges  rightly  what  she  's  about  : 
and  having  calculated  the  distance  and  allow'd 
time  for  its  falling,  finds  that  next  spring  we 
shall  have  a  fine  April  shower.  What  can  be 
more  natural  and  easy  than  this  ? — I  might  in 
stance  the  like  in  many  other  particulars  ;  but 
this  may  be  sufficient  to  prevent  our  being 
taken  for  conjurors. — O,  the  wonderful  knowl 
edge  to  be  found  in  the  stars  ! — Even  the  small 
est  things  are  written  there,  if  you  had  but  skill 
to  read.  When  my  brother  J — m — n  erected  a 
scheme  to  know  which  was  best  for  his  sick 
horse,  to  sup  a  new-laid  egg,  or  a  little  broth, 
he  found  that  the  stars  gave  their  verdict  for 
broth, — and  the  horse  having  sup'd  his  broth  ; 

Now,  what  do  you  think  became 

of  that  horse  ? — You  shall  know  in  my  next. 


poor  IRtcbaro  for  1739  89 

Besides  the  usual  things  expected  in  an  alma 
nack,  I  hope  the  profess'd  teachers  of  mankind 
will  excuse  my  scattering  here  and  there  some 
instructive  hints  in  matters  of  morality  and  re 
ligion.— And  be  not  thou  disturbed,  O  grave 
and  sober  reader,  if  among  the  many  serious 
sentences  of  my  book,  thou  findest  me  trifling 
now  and  then  and  talking  idly. — In  all  the 
dishes  I  have  hitherto  cooked  for  thee,  there 
is  solid  meat  enough  for  thy  money.  There  are 
scraps  from  the  table  of  wisdom,  that  will  if 
well  digested  yield  strong  nourishment  to  thy 
mind.  But  squeamish  stomachs  cannot  eat 
without  pickles  ;  which  't  is  true  are  good  for 
nothing  else,  but  they  provoke  an  appetite. 
The  vain  youth  that  reads  my  almanack  for 
the  sake  of  an  idle  joke,  will  perhaps  meet 
with  a  serious  reflection,  that  he  may  ever 
after  be  the  better  for. 

Some  people  observing  the  great  yearly  de 
mand  for  my  almanack,  imagine  I  must  by  this 
time  have  become  rich,  and  consequently  ought 
to  call  myself  Poor  Dick  no  longer.  But,  the 
case  is  this,  when  I  first  begun  to  publish,  the 
printer  made  a  fair  agreement  with  me  for  my 
copies,  by  virtue  of  which  he  runs  away  with 
the  greatest  part  of  the  profits.  However,  much 
good  may  't  do  him  ; — I  do  not  grudge  it  him  ; 
he  is  a  man  I  have  a  great  regard  for,  and  wish 


9°  poor  IRicbarD  for  1739 

his  profit  ten  times  greater  than  it  is.     For  I  am, 
dear  reader,  his,  as  well  as  thy 

Affectionate  friend, 

R.  SAUNDERS. 


Very  good  LAMPBLACK,  made  and  sold  by 
the  printer  hereof. 

JANUARY. 

Giles  Jolt,  as  sleeping  in  his  cart  he  lay, 

Some  pilfering  villains  stole  his  team  away  ; 

Giles  wakes  and  cries,— What 's  here  ?  a  dickens,  what  ? 

Why,  how  now  ? — Am  I  Giles  ?  or  am  I  not  ? 

If  he,  I  've  lost  six  geldings,  to  my  smart ; 

If  not,  odds  buddikins,  I  've  found  a  cart. 

When  death  puts  out  our  flame,  the  snuff  will  tell 
If  we  are  wax,  or  tallow  by  the  smell. 
At  a  great  penny  worth,  pause  a  while. 
As  to  his  wife,  John  minds  St.  Paul,  he  's  one  that  hath 
i  wife,  and  is  as  if  he  'd  none. 
Kings  and  bears  often  worry  their  keepers. 

FEBRUARY. 

1,0 rd  if  our  days  be  few,  why  do  we  spend, 

And  lavish  them  to  such  an  evil  end  ? 

Or  why  if  they  be  evil,  do  we  wrong 

Ourselves  and  thee,  in  wishing  them  so  long  ? 

Our  days  decrease,  our  evils  still  renew, 

We  make  them  ill,  thou  kindly  mak'st  them  few. 

If  thou  would'st  live  long,  live  well  ;    for  folly   and 
wickedness  shorten  life. 
Trust  thyself,  and  another  shall  not  betray  thee. 


poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1739  91 


Thus  with  kind  words,  squire  Edward  cheer'd  his  friend  ; 

Dear  Dick  !  thou  on  my  friendship  may'st  depend ; 

I  know  thy  fortune  is  but  very  scant  ; 

But,  be  assur'd,  I  '11  ne'er  see  Dick  in  want. 

Dick  's  soon  confin'd,— his  friend  no  doubt  would  free 

him  : 
His  word  he  kept,— in  want  he  ne'er  would  see  him. 

He  that  pays  for  work  before  it  's  done,  has  but  a  pen 
ny worth  for  two  pence. 

Historians  relate,  not  so  much  what  is  done,  as  what 
they  would  have  believed. 

O  malster  !  break  that  cheating  peck  ;  't  is  plain, 

Whene'er  you  use  it  you  're  a  knave  in  Grain. 

APRIL. 

For  's  country  Codrus  suffer 'd  by  the  sword, 
And,  by  his  death,  his  country's  fame  restor'd  ; 
Caesar  into  his  mother's  boGcr.i  bare 
Fire,  sword,  and  all  the  ills  of  civil  war  : 
Codrus  confirm'd  his  country's  wholesome  laws  ; 
Ceesar  in  blood  still  justified  his  cause  ; 
Yet  following  kinrjs  iic'cr  'dopted  Codrus'  name, 
But  C&sar,  still,  and  emperor  's  the  same. 

Doll  learning  propria  quce  maribus  without  book, 
I^ike  nomen  crescent  is  genitivo  doth  look. 
Grace  thou  thy  house, -and  let  not  that  grace  thee. 
Thou  cans't  not  joke  an  enemy  into  a  friend,  but  thou 
may'st  a  friend  into  an  enemy. 
Eyes  and  Priests, — Bear  no  tests. 

MAY. 

Think  bright  Florella,  when  you  see, 
The  constant  changes  of  the  year, 


92  poor  IRicbaro  for  1730 

That  nothing  is  from  ruin  free, 
The  gayest  things  must  disappear. 
Think  of  your  beauties  in  their  bloom, 
The  spring  of  sprightly  youth  improve  ; 
For  cruel  age,  alas,  will  come, 
And  then  't  will  be  too  late  to  love. 

He  that,  falls  in  love  with  himself,  will  have  no  rivals. 
Ivet  thy  child's  first  lesson  be  obedience,  and  the  sec 
ond  will  be  what  thou  wilt. 

Blessed  is  he  that  expects  nothing,  for  he  shall  never 
be  disappointed. 

Rather  go  to  bed  supperless  than  run  in  debt  for  a 
breakfast. 

JUNE. 
On  his  late  deafness. 

Deaf,  giddy,  helpless,  left  alone, 
To  all  my  friends  a  burthen  grown, 
No  more  I  hear  a  great  church  bell, 
Than  if  it  rung  out  for  my  knell  : 
At  thunder  now  no  more  I  start, 

Than  at  the  whispering  of 

Nay  what 's  incredible,  alack  ! 
I  hardly  hear  my  Bridget's  clack. 

I<et  thy  discontents  be  secrets. 

A  man  of  knowledge  like  a  rich  soil,  feeds 

If  not  a  world  of  corn,  a  world  of  weeds. 

An  infallible  remedy  for  toothache,  viz. — Wash  the  root 
of  an  aching  tooth,  in  Elder  -vinegar,  and  let  it  dry  half 
an  hour  in  the  sun  ;  after  which  it  will  never  ache  more. 

JTJLY. 

Says  George  to  William — Neighbour,  have  a  care, 
Touch  not  that  tree— 't  is  sacred  to  despair  •, 


fcoor  •RfcbarD  for  1730  03 

Two  wives  I  had,  but,  ah  !  that  joy  is  past ! 

Who  breath'd  upon  those  fatal  boughs  their  last. 

The  best  in  all  the  row,  without  dispute, 

Says  Will — Would  mine  but  bear  such  precious  fruit ! 

When  next  you  prune  your  orchard,  save  for  me 

{I  have  a  spouse)  one  cyon  of  that  tree. 


A  modern  wit  is  one  of  David 's  fools. 
No  resolution  of  repenting  hereafter,  can  be  sincere. 
Pollio  who  values  nothing  that  's  within, 
Buys  books  as  men  hunt  beavers — for  their  skin. 
Honour  thy  father  and  mother,  i.  e.  I^ive  so  as  to  be  an 
honour  to  them  tho'  they  are  dead. 


Ships  sailing  down  Delaware  bay  this  month, 
shall  hear  at  ten  leagues  distance,  a  confused 
rattling  noise,  like  a  shower  of  hail  upon  a  cake 
of  ice.  Don't  be  frighted  good  passengers  !  the 
sailors  can  inform  you,  that  it  is  nothing  but 
lower  county  teeth  in  the  ague.  In  a  southerly 
wind  you  may  hear  it  in  Philadelphia. 

Witness  G.  L.  M.  cum  multis  aliis. 

If  thou  injurest  conscience,  it  will  have  Its  revenge  on 
thee. 

Hear  no  ill  of  a  friend,  nor  speak  any  of  an  enemy. 

Pay  what  you  owe,  and  you  '11  know  what  is  your  own. 

Be  not  niggardly  of  what  costs  thee  nothing,  as  COUP 
t*«y,  counsel,  and  countenance. 

Thirst  after  desert — not  reward. 


94  poor  IRfcbarfc  for 


SEPTEMBER. 

The  sun  now  clear,  serene  the  golden  skies, 
Where'er  you  go,  fast  the  shadow  flies  ; 
A  cloud  succeeds  ;  the  sunshine  now  is  o'er, 
The  fleeting  phantom  fled,  is  seen  no  more  ; 
With  your  bright  day,  its  progress  too  does  end  : 
See  here,  vain  man  !  the  picture  of  thy  friend. 

Beware  of  him  that  is  slow  to  anger  :  He  is  angry  foi 
something,  and  will  not  be  pleased  for  nothing. 

No  longer  virtuous,  no  longer  free,  is  a  maxim  as  true 
with  regard  to  a  private  person  as  a  commonwealth. 

When  man  and  woman  die,  as  poets  sung, 

His  heart  's  the  last  part  moves,—  her  last,  the  tongue 

OCTOBER. 

What  legions  of  fables  and  whimsical  tales 
Ptss  current  for  gospel  where  priestcraft  prevails  1 
Our  ancestors  were  thus  most  strangely  deceiv'd, 
What  stories  and  nonsense  for  truth  they  believ'd. 
But  we  their  wise  sons,  who  these  fables  reject, 
Kv'n  truth  now-a-days,  are  too  apt  to  suspect  ; 
From  believing  too  much,  the  right  faith  we  let  fall  ; 
So  now  we  believe,  —  'troth,  —  nothing  at  all. 

Proclaim  not  all  thou  knowest,  all  thou  owest,  all  thou 
hast,  nor  all  thou  can'st. 

I,et  our  fathers  and  grandfathers  be  valued  for  thei» 
goodness,  ourselves  for  our  own. 

Industry  need  not  wish. 

Sin  is  not  hurtful  because  it  is  forbidden,  but  it  la  for 
bidden  because  it  is  hurtful. 

NOVEMBER. 

Pinchall,  possessing  heaps  of  wealth, 
Ivives  miserably  Door  • 


fioot  IRfcbarD  for  1739  95 

He  says  't  is  to  preserve  his  health, 

But  means  by  it  his  store. 
I^et  Freeman  but  the  world  invite 

To  dine  on  good  cheer  gratis, 
Then  he  will  gorge  like  half-starved  wight 

And  cram  his  nunquam  satis. 

Nor  is  a  duty  beneficial  because  it  is  commanded,  but 
it  is  commanded  because  it  is  beneficial. 
A  ...  they  say  has  wit ;  for  what  ? 

For  writing? No,— for  writing  not. 

George  came  to  the  crown  without  striking  a  blow, 
Ah  ! — quoth  the  Pretender,  would  I  could  do  so. 

DECEMBER. 

In  travel,  pilgrims  oft  do  ask  to  know 

What  miles  they  've  gone,  and  what  they  have  to  go ; 

The  way  is  tedious,  and  their  limbs  opprest, 

And  their  desire  is  to  be  at  rest. 

In  life's  more  tedious  journey,  man  delays 

T'  enquire  out  the  number  of  his  days  : 

He  cares,  not  he,  how  slow  his  hours  spend, 

The  journey  's  better  than  the  journey's  end. 

O  I/azy  bones  !  Dost  thou  think  God  would  have  given 
thee  arms  and  legs,  if  he  had  not  design'd  thou  should'st 
use  them. 

On  the  Law.— Nigh  neighbour  to  the  squire,  poor  Sam 

complain 'd 

Of  frequent  wrongs,  but  no  amends  he  gain'd. 
I$ach  day  his  gates  thrown  down  ;  his  fences  broke, 
And  injur'd  still  the  more,  the  more  he  spoke  ; 
At  last,  resolv'd  his  potent  foe  to  awe, 
A  suit  against  him  he  began  in  law  ; 
Nine  happy  terms  thro'  all  the  forms  he  run, 
Obtain'd  his  cause — had  costs — and  was  undone. 


96  ipoor  IRicbart)  for  1730 

A  cure  for  poetry.— Seven  wealthy  towns  contend  fol 
Homer  dead, 

Thro'  which  the  living  Homer  beg'd  his  bread. 

Great  beauty,  great  strength,  and  great  riches  are 
really  and  truly  of  no  great  use  ;  a  right  heart  exceeds 
all. 

A  TRUE  PROGNOSTICATION  FOR  1739. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

Having  consider' d  the  infinite  abuses  arising 
from  the  false  prognostications  published  among 
you,  made  under  the  shadow  of  a  pot  of  drink, 
or,  so,  I  have  here  calculated  one  of  the  most 
sure  and  unerring  that  ever  was  seen  in  black 
and  white,  as  hereafter  you  '11  find.  For  doubt 
less  it  is  a  heinous,  foul  and  crying  sin,  to 
deceive  the  poor  gaping  world,  greedy  of  the 
knowledge  of  futurity  as  we  Americans  all  are. 

Take  notice  by  the  by,  that  having  been  at  a 
great  deal  of  pains  in  the  calculation,  if  you 
don't  believe  every  syllable,  jot  and  tittle  of  it, 
you  do  me  a  great  deal  of  wrong;  for  which 
either  here  or  elsewhere,  you  may  chance  to  be 
claw'd  off  with  a  vengeance. — A  good  cowskin, 
crabtree,  or  bull's  pizzle  may  be  plentifully  be- 
stow'd  on  your  outward  man.  You  may  snuff 
up  your  noses  as  much  as  you  please,  't  is  all 
one  for  that. 

Well,  however,  come,  smite  your  noses  my 
little  children  ;  pull  out  your  best  eyes,  on  wi' 


fcoor  Ifltcbarfc  for  1730  97 

your  barnacles,  and  carefully  observe  every 
scruple  of  what  I  'm  going  to  tell  you. 

Of  the  GOLDEN  NUMBER. 

The  Golden  number,  non  est  inventus,  I  can 
not  find  it  this  year  by  any  calculation  I  have 
made.  I  must  content  myself  with  a  number 
of  copper.  No  matter,  go  on. 

Of  the  ECUPSES  this  year. 

There  are  so  many  invisible  eclipses  this 
year,  that  I  fear,  not  unjustly,  our  pockets  will 
suffer  inanition,  be  full  empty,  and  our  feeling 
at  a  loss. — During  the  first  visible  eclipse  Saturn 
is  retrograde  :  For  which  reason  the  crabs  will 
go  sidelong,  and  the  ropemakers  backward. 

The  belly  will  wag  before,  and  the shall 

sit  down  first  Mercury  will  have  his  share  in 
these  affairs,  and  so  confound  the  speech  of  the 
people,  that  when  a  Pennsylvanian  would  say 
PANTHER  he  shall  say  PAINTER. — When  a  New 
Yorker  thinks  to  say  THIS  he  shall  say  DISS, 
and  the  people  in  New  England  and  Cape  May 
will  not  be  able  to  say  cow  for  their  lives,  but 
will  be  forc'd  to  say  KEOW  by  a  certain  involun 
tary  twist  in  the  root  of  their  tongues.  No 
Connecticut  man,  nor  Marylander  will  be  able 
to  open  his  mouth  this  year,  but  SIR  shall  ba 
the  first  or  last  syllable  he  pronounces,  and 


98  fcoor  tticbart  for  1739 

sometimes  both. — Brutes  shall  speak  in  many 
places,  and  there  will  be  above  seven  and  twenty 
irregular  verbs  made  this  year,  if  Grammar 
don't  interpose. — But  who  can  help  these  mis 
fortunes. 

Of  the  DISEASES  this  year. 

This  year  the  stone-blind  shall  see  but  very 
little  ;  the  deaf  shall  hear  but  poorly  ;  and  the 
dumb  sha'n't  speak  very  plain.  And  it 's  much, 
if  my  Dame  Bridget  talks  at  all  this  year. 
Whole  flocks,  herds,  and  droves  of  sheep,  swine 
and  oxen,  cocks  and  hens,  ducks  and  drakes, 
geese  and  ganders  shall  go  to  pot ;  but  the 
mortality  will  not  be  altogether  so  great  among 
cats,  dogs  and  horses.  As  to  old  age  't  will  be 
incurable  this  year,  because  of  the  years  past. 
And  towards  the  fall  some  people  will  be  seiz'd 
with  an  unaccountable  inclination  to  roast  and 
eat  their  own  ears  :  Should  this  be  call'd  mad 
ness,  Doctors?  I  think  not.  But  the  worst 
disease  of  all  will  be  a  certain  most  horrid, 
dreadful,  malignant,  catching,  perverse  and 
odious  malady,  almost  epidemical,  insomuch 
that  many  shall  run  mad  upon  it ;  I  quake  for 
very  fear  when  I  think  on  't ;  for  I  assure  you 
very  few  will  escape  this  disease ;  which  is 
called  by  the  learned  Albromazar  Lacko'mony, 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1730  99 

Of  the  FRUITS  of  the  EARTH. 

I  find  that  this  will  be  a  plentiful  year  of  all 
manner  of  good  things,  to  those  who  have 
enough  ;  but  the  orange  trees  in  Greenland 
will  go  near  to  fare  the  worse  for  the  cold.— 
As  to  oats,  they  '11  be  a  great  help  to  horses.  I 
dare  say  there  won't  be  much  more  bacon  than 
swine.  Mercury  somewhat  threatens  our  pars 
ley  beds,  yet  parsley  will  be  to  be  had  for 
money.  Hemp  will  grow  faster  than  the  chil 
dren  of  this  age,  and  some  will  find  there  Js  too 
much  on  't.  As  for  corn,  fruit,  cyder  and 
turnips,  there  never  was  such  plenty  as  will  be 
now  ;  if  poor  folks  may  have  their  wish. 

Of  the  CONDITION  of  some  countries. 


an  universal  droughth  this  yeal 
thro'  all  the  northern  colonies.  Hence  there 
will  be  dry  rice  in  Carolina,  dry  tobacco  in 
Virginia  and  Maryland,  dry  bread  in  Pennsyl 
vania  and  New  York  ;  and  in  New  England 
dry  fish  and  dry  doctrine.  Dry  throats  will  be 
every  where  ;  but  then  how  pleasant  it  will  be 
to  drink  cool  cyder  !  tho'  some  will  tell  you 
nothing  is  more  contrary  to  thirst.  —  I  believe  it, 
and  indeed,  contrariat  contrariis  curantur. 

R.  SAUNDERS. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1740. 


PREFACE. 

October  7,  1739. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

You  may  remember  that  in  my  first  Alman 
ack,  published  for  the  year  1733, 1  predicted  the 
death  of  my  dear  friend,  Titan  Leeds,  Philomat, 
to  happen  that  year  on  the  iyth  day  of  October, 
3  h.  29  m.  p.  M.  The  good  man,  it  seems,  died 
accordingly.  ButW.  B.  and  A.  B.  [*]have  con 
tinued  to  publish  Almanacks  in  his  name  evei 
since  ;  asserting  for  some  years  that  he  was  still 
living ;  At  length  when  the  truth  could  no 
longer  be  concealed  from  the  world,  they  con 
fess  his  death  in  their  Almanack  for  1739,  but 
pretend  that  he  died  not  till  last  year,  .and  that 
before  his  departure  he  had  furnished  them 
with  calculations  for  7  years  to  come. — Ah,  my 
friends,  these  are  poor  shifts  and  thin  dis- 

*  William    and    Andrew  Bradford,  printers  in   Nev 
York  and  Philadelphia. 


poor  IRfcbarD  for  1740  101 

guises  ;  of  which  indeed  1*  sl-ofOd  havev  fait  eh 
little  or  no  notice,  if  you  had  not  at  the  sdme 
time  accused  me  as  a  f4tee 'predictor-;  an'e.sp^r- 
sion  that  the  more  affects"  me,  a$'  my  whole 
livelyhood  depends  on  a  contrary  character. 

But  to  put  this  matter  beyond  dispute,  I  shall 
acquaint  the  world  with  a  fact,  as  strange  and 
surprising  as  it  is  true  ;  being  as  follows,  viz. — 

On  the  4th  instant,  towards  midnight  as  I  sat 
in  my  little  study  writing  this  Preface,  I  fell  fast 
asleep ;  and  continued  in  that  condition  for 
some  time,  without  dreaming  any  thing,  to  my 
knowledge.  On  awaking,  I  found  lying  before 
me  the  following,  viz. — 

Dear  Friend  SAUNDERS, 

My  respect  for  you  continues  even  in  this 
separate  state,  and  I  am  grieved  to  see  the  asper 
sions  thrown  on  you  by  the  malevolence  of 
avaricious  publishers  of  Almanacks,  who  envy 
your  success. — They  say  your  prediction  of  my 
death  in  1733  was  false,  and  they  pretend  that  1 
remained  alive  many  years  after.  But  I  do 
hereby  certify,  that  I  did  actually  die  at  that 
time,  precisely  at  the  hour  you  mentioned,  with 
a  variation  only  of  5  min.  53  sec.  which  must  be 
allowed  to  be  no  great  matter  in  such  cases. — 
And  I  do  further  declare  that  I  furnished  them 
with  no  calculations  of  the  planets  motions,  &c, 


102  poor  IRfcbarD  for  1740 

s"e\'2ti years  after' mJF,dedih,  as  they  are  pleasea 
to  give  out :  so  that  ihe'stuffMiey  publish  as  an 
Almanack  in  rn*>  riams  is  no  more  mine  than 
•tizyourc. 

You  will  wonder  perhaps,  how  this  paper 
comes  written  on  your  table.  You  must  know 
that  no  separate  spirits  are  under  any  confine 
ment  till  after  the  final  settlement  of  all  ac 
counts.  In  the  meantime  we  wander  where  we 
please,  visit  our  old  friends,  observe  their  ac 
tions,  enter  sometimes  into  their  imaginations, 
and  give  them  hints  waking  or  sleeping  that  may 
be  of  advantage  to  them.  Finding  you  asleep, 
I  entered  your  left  nostril,  ascended  into  your 
brain,  found  out  where  the  ends  of  those  nerves 
were  fastened  that  move  your  right  hand  and 
fingers,  by  the  help  of  which  I  am  now  writing 
unknown  to  you  ;  but  when  you  open  your  eyes 
you  will  see  that  the  hand  written  is  mine,  tho? 
wrote  with  yours. 

The  people  of  this  infidel  age,  perhaps^  will 
hardly  believe  this  story.  But  you  may  give 
them  these  three  signs  by  which  they  shall  be 
convinced  of  the  truth  of  it. — About  the  middle 

of  June  next,  J.  J n,  Philomat,  shall  be 

openly  reconciled  to  the  Church  of  Rome,  and 
give  all  his  goods  and  chattels  to  the  chappel, 
being  perverted  by  a  certain  country  school 
master. — On  the  *]th  of  September  following  my 


ftoor  IRicbarfc  for  1740  103 

old  Friend  W.  B t  shall  be  sober  9  hours, 

to  the  astonishment  of  all  his  neighbours : — 
And  about  the  same  time  W.  B.  and  A.  B.  will 
publish  another  Almanack  in  my  name,  in 
spight  of  truth  and  common  sense. 

As  I  can  see  much  clearer  into  futurity ',  since 
I  got  free  from  the  dark  prison  of  flesh,  in 
which  I  was  continually  molested  and  almost 
blinded  with  fogs  arising  from  tiff,  and  the 
smoke  of  burnt  drams  ;  I  shall  in  kindness  to 
you,  frequently  give  you  information  of  things 
to  come,  for  the  improvement  of  your  Alma 
nack  :  being,  Dear  Dick,  Your  Affectionate 
Friend, 

T.  LEEDS. 

For  my  own  part  I  am  convinced  that  the 
above  letter  is  genuine.  If  the  reader  doubts  of 
it,  let  him  carefully  observe  the  three  signs ; 
and  if  they  do  not  actually  come  to  pass,  believe 
as  he  pleases. 

I  am  his  humble  Friend, 

R.  SAUNDERS. 

OF    THE    ECUPSES    FOR    1740. 

There  will  be  six  Bclipses  this  year,  &c.  &c. 
&c.  Some  of  these  Eclipses  foreshow  great  grief 
and  many  tears  among  the  soft  sex  this  year ; 
whether  for  the  breaking  of  their  crockery  ware, 


io4  poor  IRicbarD  for  1740 

the  loss  of  their  loves,  or  in  repentance  fortheii 
sins,  I  shall  not  say  :  tho'  I  must  own  I  think 
there  will  be  a  great  deal  of  the  latter  in  the 
case. — War  we  shall  hear  but  too  much  of  (for 
all  Christians  have  not  yet  learn 'd  to  love  one 
another}^  and,  I  doubt,  of  some  ineffectual 
treaties  of  peace.  I  pray  Heav'n  defend  these 
Colonies  from  every  enemy  ;  and  give  them 
bread  enough,  peace  enough,  money  enough, 
and  plenty  of  good  cyder. 

JANUARY. 

My  sickly  spouse,  with  many  a  sigh 

Once  told  me, — Dicky,  I  shall  die  : 

I  griev'd,  but  recollected  strait, 

'T  was  bootless  to  contend  with  fate  : 

So  resignation  to  Heaven's  will 

Prepar'd  me  for  succeeding  ill ; 

'T  was  well  it  did  ;  for  on  my  life, 

'T  was  Heav'n 's  will  to  spare  my  wife. 

To  bear  other  people's  afflictions,  every  one  has 
courage  and  enough  to  spare. 

No  wonder  Tom  grows  fat,  th'  unwieldy  sinner,  makes 
his  whole  life  but  one  continual  dinner. 

An  empty  bag  cannot  stand  upright. 

FEBRUARY. 

While  the  good  priest  with  eyes  devoutly  clos'd, 
lyeft  on  the  book  the  marriage  fee  expos 'd, 
The  new  made  bridegroom  his  occasion  spies, 
And  pleas'd,  repocket .;  rp  the  shining-  prize ; 


Ipoor  IRicbarD  for  1740  105 

Yet  not  so  safe,  but  Mr.  Surplice  views 

The/ro/z'c,  and  demands  his  pilfer'd  dues. 

No,  quoth  the  man,  good  Doctor,  I  '11  non  suit  y'. 

A  plain  default,  I  found  you  off  your  duty  ? 

More  carefully  the  holy  book  survey  : 

Your  rule  is,  you  should  watch  as  well  as  pray. 

Happy  that  Nation, -fortunate  that  age,  whose  history 
is  not  diverting. 

What  is  a  Butterfly  ?— at  best  he  's  but  a  catterpillai 
drest.— The  gaudy  Fop  's  his  picture  just. 

None  are  deceived,  but  they  that  confide. 


When  Pharoak's  sins  provok'd  th'  Almighty's  hand, 

To  pour  his  wrath  upon  the  guilty  land  ; 

A  ten  fold  plague  the  great  avenger  shed, 

The  King  offended,  and  the  nation  bled. 

Hads'tthou,  unaided,  Feria,  but  been  sent, 

Vial  elect,  for  Pharoah's  punishment. 

Thro'  what  a  various  curse  the  wretch  had  run, 

He  more  than  Heaven's  ten  plagues  had  felt  in  one. 

An  open  foe  may  prove  a  curse  ; 

But  a  pretended  friend  is  worse. 

A  Wolf  eats  sheep  but  now  and  then, 

Ten  Thousands  are  devour'd  by  men. 

Man's  tongue  is  soft,  and  bone  doth  lack ; 

Yet  a  stroke  therewith  may  break  a  man's  back. 


Says  Roger  to  his  wife,  my  dear  ; 
The  strangest  piece  of  news  I  hear  ! 
A  law,  't  is  said,  will  quickly  pass 
To  purge  the  matrimonial  cla§£ ; 


io6  poor  IRtcbarD  for  1740 

Cuckolds,  if  any  such  we  have  here, 
Must  to  a  man  be  thrown  i'  the  river. 
She  smiling  cry'd,— My  dear,  you  seem 
Surpriz'd  !    Pray  han't  you  learn'dto  swim 

Many  a  meal  is  lost  for  want  of  meat 
To  all  apparent  beauties  blind 
Each  blemish  strikes  an  envious  mind. 
The  poor  have  little,— beggars  none  ; 
The  rich  too  much— enough  not  one. 

MAY. 

A.  carrier  every  night  and  morn 

Would  see  his  horses  eat  their  corn  : 

This  sunk  the  hostler's  vails,  't  is  true, 

But  then  his  horses  had  their  due. 

Were  we  so  cautious  in  all  cases, 

Small  gain  would  rise  from  greater  places. 

There  are  lazy  minds  as  well  as  lazy  bodies. 

Tricks  and  trechery  are  the  practice  of  fools  that  have 
not  wit  enough  to  be  honest. 

Who  says  Jack  is  not  generous?— he  is  always  fond 

of  giving,  and  cares  not  for  receiving, what  ? — why, 

advice. 

JUNE. 

How  weak,  how  vain  is  human  pride  I 
Dares  man  upon  himself  confide  ? 
The  wretch  who  glories  in  his  gain 
Amasses  heaps  on  heaps  in  vain. 
Can  those  (when  tortur'd  by  disease) 
Cheer  our  sick  heart,  or  purchase  ease  ? 
Can  those  prolong  one  gasp  of  breath. 
Qr  calm  the  troubled  hour  of  death  ? 


fcoor  IRtcbarD  for  1740  107 

The  Man  who  with  undaunted  toils, 
Sails  unknown  seas  to  unknown  soils, 
With  various  wonders  feasts  his  sight : 
What  stranger  wonders  does  he  write  ? 

Fear  not  death  ;  for  the  sooner  we  die,  the  longer  shall 
we  be  immortal. 

JULY. 

The  monarch  of  long  regal  line, 
Was  rais'd  from  dust  as  frail  as  mine  : 
Can  he  pour  health  into  his  veins, 
Or  cool  the  fever's  restless  pains  ?  — 
Can  he  (worn  down  in  nature's  course) 
New-brace  his  feeble  nerves  with  force  ? 
Can  he  (how  vain  is  mortal  pow'r  !) 
Stretch  life  beyond  the  destin'd  hour  ? 

Those  who  in  quarrels  interpose, 
Must  often  wipe  a  bloody  nose. 

Promises  may  get  thee  friends,  but  non-performance 
will  turn  them  into  enemies. 

In  other  men  we  faults  can  spy, 
And  blame  the  mote  that  dims  their  eye  ; 
Hach  little  speck  and  blemish  find  ; 
To  our  own  stronger  errors  blind. 

AUGUST. 

The  man  of  pure  and  simple  heart 

Thro'  life  disdains  a  double  part, 

He  never  needs  the  screen 

His  inward  bosom  to  disguise. 

In  vain  malicious  tongues  assail. 

I/et  envy  snarl,  let  slander  rail, 

From  virtue's  shield  (secure  from  wound) 

Their  blunted  venom'd  shafts  rebound. 


io8  {poor  IRicbarO  for  1740 

When  you  speak  to  a  man,  look  on  his  eyes  ;  when  he 
speaks  to  thee,  look  on  his  mouth. 

Jane,  why  those  tears? — why  droops  your  head? 
Is  then  your  other  husband  dead  ? 
Or,  doth  a  worse  disgrace  betide  ? 
Hath  no  one  since  his  death  apply 'd  ? 

Observe  all  men  ;  thyself  most. 

SEPTEMBER. 

We  frequently  misplace  esteem 

By  judging  men  by  what  they  seem. 

With  partial  eyes  we  're  apt  to  see, 

The  man  of  noble  pedigree. 

To  birth,  wealth,  power,  we  should  allow 

Precedence,  and  our  lowest  bow  : 

In  that  is  due  distinction  shown  ; 

Esteem  is  Virtue's  right  alone. 

Thou  hadst  better  eat  salt  with  the  philosophers  of 
Greece,  than  sugar  with  the  courtiers  of  Italy. 

Seek  Virtue,  and  of  that  possest, 

To  Providence  resign  the  rest. 

Marry  above  thy  match,  and  thou  'It  get  a  master. 

Fear  to  do  ill,  and  you  need  fear  nought  else. 

OCTOBER. 

What 's  beauty  ?— Call  ye  that  your  own, 
A  flow'r  that  fades  as  soon  as  blown  ! 
Those  eyes  of  so  divine  a  ray, 
What  are  they  ?    Mould'ring,  mortal  clay; 
Those  features  cast  in  heav'nly  mould, 
Shall,  like  my  coarser  earth,  grow  old  ; 
I,ike  common  grass,  the  fairest  flow'r 
Must  feel  the  hoary  season's  power. 


1Rlcbar£>  for  1740  109 

He  makes  a  foe,  who  makes  a  jest. 

Can  grave  and  formal  pass  for  wise 

When  men  the  solemn  owl  despise  ? 

Some  are  justly  laught  at  for  keeping  their  money 
foolishly,  others  for  spending  it  idly :  He  is  the  great 
est  fool  that  lays  it  out  in  a  purchase  of  repentance. 

NOVEMBER. 

Old  Socrates  was  obstinately  good, 
Virtuous  by  force,  by  inclination  lewd. 
When  secret  movements  drew  his  soul  aside, 
He  quelPd  his  lust,  and  stemm'd  the  swelling  tide ; 
Sustain'd  by  reason  still,  unmov'd  he  stood, 
And  steady  bore  against  th'  opposing  flood. 
He  durst  correct  what  nature  form'd  amiss, 
And  forc'd  unwilling  virtue  to  be  his. 

Who  knows  a  fool,  must  know  his  brother ; 
For  one  will  recommend  another. 
Avoid  dishonest  gain  :  no  price, 
Can  recompence  the  pangs  of  vice. 
When  befriended,  remember  it : 
When  you  befriend, — forget  it. 
Great  souls  with  generous  pity  melt ; 
Which  coward  tyrants  never  felt. 

DECEMBER. 

O  blessed  season  !  lov'd  by  saints  and  sinners, 
For  long  devotions,  or  for  longer  dinners  ; 
More  grateful  still  to  those  who  deal  in  books, 
Now  not  with  readers,  but  with  pastry  cooks : 
I^earn'd  works,  despis'd  by  those  to  merit  blind, 
By  these  well  weigh'd,  their  certain  value  find. 
Bless'd  lot  of  paper,  falsely  called  waste, 
To  bear  those  cates  which  authors  seldom  taste. 


no  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1740 

Employ  thy  time  well,  if  thou  meanest  to  gain  leisure. 

A  flatterer  never  seems  absurd  : 

The  flatter'd  always  takes  his  word. 

Ivend  money  to  an  enemy,  and  thou  'it  gain  him  ;  to  a 
friend,  and  thou  'It  lose  him. 

Neither  praise  nor  dispraise,  till  seven  Christmasses  be 
over. 

COURTS. 

I  know  you  lawyers  can,  with  ease, 
Twist  words  and  meaning's  as  you  please  ; 
That  language,  by  your  skill  made  pliant, 
Will  bend  to  favour  every  client ; 
That 't  is  the  fee  directs  the  sense 
To  make  out  either  side's  pretence  : 
When  you  peruse  the  clearest  case, 
You  see  it  with  a  double  face, 
For  scepticism  's  your  profession  ; 
You  hold  there  's  doubt  in  all  expression. 

Hence  is  the  Bar  with  fees  supplied, 
Hence  eloquence  takes  either  side. 
Your  hand  would  have  but  paltry  gleaning 
Could  every  man  express  his  meaning. 
Who  dares  presume  to  pen  a  deed, 
Unless  you  previously  are  fee'd  ? 
'T  is  drawn,  and,  to  augment  ths  costt 
In  dull  prolixity  engrost : 
And  now  we  're  well  secur'd  by  law, 
Till  the  next  brother  Jind  a  flaw. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1741. 


[PREFACE  OMITTED.] 

JANUARY. 

Your  homely  face,  Flippanta,  you  disguise 

With  patches,  numerous  as  Argus'  eyes : 

I  own  that  patching  's  requisite  for  you  : 

For  more  we  're  pleas'd,  if  less  your  face  we  view  : 

Yet  I  advise,  if  my  advice  you  'd  ask, 

Wear  but  one  patch : but  be  that  patch  a  mask. 

Enjoy  the  present  hour,  be  mindful  of  the  past ; 
And  neither  fear  nor  wish  the  approaches  of  the  last. 
I^earn  of  the  skilful :  He  that  teaches  himself,  hath  a 
fool  for  his  master. 

FEBRUARY. 

The  cringing  train  of  pow'r  survey ; 
What  creatures  are  so  low  as  they  ! 
With  what  obsequiousness  they  bend  1 
To  what  vile  actions  condescend  ! 
Their  rise  is  in  their  meanness  built, 
And  flatt'ry  is  their  smallest  guilt. 

Best  is  the  tongue  that  feels  the  rein  ; 
He  that  talks  much,  talks  in  vain  ; 
We  from  the  wordy  torrent  fly  : 
Who  listens  to  the  chattering  Pye? 

Ill 


ifroor  1Rtcbar£>  for  1741 


Think  Cato  sees  thee. 
No  wood  without  bark. 


IJnrag'd  was  Buckram,  when  his  wife  he  beat, 
That  she  'd  so  often,  lousy  knave  repeat. 
At  length  he  seized  and  drag'd  her  to  the  well, 
I  '11  cool  thy  tongue,  or  I  '11  thy  courage  quell. 
Ducking,  thy  case,  poor  Buckram,  little  mends; 
She  had  her  lesson  at  her  fingers'  ends. 
Sows'd  over  head,  her  arms  she  raises  high  ; 
And  cracking  nails  the  want  of  tongue  supply. 

Monkeys,  warm  with  envious  spite, 
Their  most  obliging  friends  will  bite  : 
And  fond  to  copy  human  ways, 
Practice  new  mischiefs  all  their  days. 
Joke  went  out  and  brought  home  his  fellow,  and  they 
two  began  a  quarrel. 

APRIL. 

Rash  mortals,  e'er  you  take  a  wife, 
Contrive  your  pile  to  last  for  life : 
On  sense  and  worth  your  passion  found, 
By  decency  cemented  round  ; 
I^et  prudence  with  good-nature  strive, 
To  keep  esteem  and  love  alive  ; 
Then,  come  old  age  whene'er  it  will, 
Your  friendship  shall  continue  still. 

I,et  thy  discontents  be  thy  secrets  ;— if  the  world  knows 
them  't  will  despise  thee  and  increase  them. 

E)'er  you  remark  another's  sin, 

Bid  your  own  conscience  look  within. 

Anger  and  folly  walk  cheek  by  jole ;  repentance  treads 
on  both  their  heels. 


Uttcbarfc  tor  1741  113 


Fair  decency,  celestial  maid, 
Descend  from  Heav'n  to  beauty's  aid : 
Tho'  beauty  may  beget  desire, 
'T  is  thou  must  fan  the  lover's  fire  : 
For  beauty,  like  supreme  dominion, 
Is  but  supported  by  opinion  : 
If  decency  bring  no  supplies, 
Opinion  falls  and  beauty  dies. 

Turn  Turk,  Tim,  and  renounce  thy  faith  in  words  as 
well  as  actions  :  Is  it  worse  to  follow  Mahomet  than  the 
Devil  ? 

Don't  overload  gratitude  ;  if  you  do,  she  '11  kick. 

Be  always  ashamed  to  catch  thyself  idle. 

JUNE. 

When  painful  Colin  in  his  grave  was  laid, 

His  mournful  wife  this  lamentation  made  : 

I  've  lost,  alas  !  (poor  wretch,  what  must  I  do?) 

The  best  of  friends,  and  best  of  husbands  too. 

Thus  of  all  joy  and  happiness  bereft : 

And  with  the  charge  often  poor  children  left ; 

A  greater  grief  no  woman  sure  can  know. 

Who  (with  ten  children)— who  will  have  me  now? 

Where  yet  was  ever  found  the  mother, 

Who  'd  change  her  booby  for  another? 

At  20  years  of  age  the  will  reigns ;  at  30  the  wit ;  at  40 
the  judgment. 

Christianity  commands  us  to  pass  by  injuries  ;  policy, 
to  let  them  pass  by  us. 

JULY. 

Nature  expects  mankind  should  share 
The  duties  of  the  oublick  care. 


ii4  fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1741 

Who  's  born  for  sloth  ?    To  some  we  find 
The  plough- share's  annual  toil  assigned  ; 
Some  at  the  sounding  anvil  glow  ; 
Some  the  swift  gliding  shuttle  throw  ; 
Some,  studious  of  the  wind  and  tide, 
From  pole  to  pole  our  commerce  guide, 

laying  rides  upon  debt's  back. 

They  who  have  nothing  to  be  troubled  at,  will  be 
troubled  at  nothing. 

Wife,  from  thy  spouse  each  blemish  hide, 
More  than  from  all  the  world  beside!: 
I^et  DECENCY  be  all  thy  pride. 


Some  (taught  by  industry)  impart 
With  hands  and  feet  the  works  of  art ; 
While  some,  of  genius  more  refined, 
With  head  and  tongues  assist  mankind  ; 
Each  aiming  at  one  common  end 
Proves  to  the  whole  a  needful  friend. 
Thus,  born  each  other's  useful  aid, 
By  turns  are  obligations  paid. 

Nick's  passions  grow  fat  and  hearty  :  his  understand 
ing  looks  consumptive  ! 

If  evils  come  not,  then  our  fears  are  vain  ; 

And  if  they  do,  fear  but  augments  the  pain. 

If  you  would  keep  your  secret  from  an  enemy,  tell  it 
lot  to  a  friend. 

Rob  not  for  burnt  offerings. 

SEPTEMBER. 

The  Monarch,  when  his  table  's  spread, 
To  th'  farmer  is  oblig'd  for  bread ; 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1741  us 

And  when  in  all  his  glory  drest, 
Owes  to  the  loom  his  royal  vest ; 
Do  not  the  mason's  toil  and  care 
Protect  him  from  th'  inclement  air? 
Does  not  the  cutler's  art  supply 
The  ornament  that  guards  his  thigh? 

Bess  brags  she  's  a  beauty,  and  can  prove  the  same : 

As  how  ?    Why  thus,  sir,  't  is  her  puppy's  name. 

Up,  sluggard,  and  waste  not  life  ;  in  the  grave  will  be 
sleeping  enough. 

Well  done,  is  twice  done. 

Clearly  spoken,  Mr.  Fogg  !  You  explain  English  by 
Greek. 


All  these  in  duty,  to  the  throne 
Their  common  obligations  own. 
'T  is  he  (his  own  and  people's  cause) 
Protects  their  properties  and  laws  : 
Thus  they  their  honest  toil  employ, 
And  with  content  the  fruits  enjoy, 
In  every  rank,  or  great  or  small, 
'T  is  INDUSTRY  supports  us  all. 

Formio  bewails  his  sins  with  the  same  heart, 
As  friends  do  friends  when  they  're  about  to  part 
Believe  it,  Formio  will  not  entertain 
One  cheerful  thought  till  they  do  meet  again. 
Honours  change  manners. 

NOVEMBER. 

Syl.  dreamt  that  bury'd  in  his  fellow  clay, 
Close  by  a  common  beggar's  side  he  lay  : 


n6  fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1741 

And,  as  so  mean  a  neighbour  shock'd  his  pride. 
Thus,  like  a  corpse  of  consequence,  he  cry'd ; 
Scoundrel ,  begone  ;  and  henceforth  touch  me  not  • 
More  manners  learn  ;  and,  at  a  distance,  rot. 
How  !  scoundrel !  in  a  hautiertone  cry'd  he  ; 
Proud  lump  of  dirt,  I  scorn  thy  words  and  thee  , 
Here  all  are  equal  ;  now  thy  case  is  mine  ; 
This  is  my  rotting  place,  and  that  is  thine. 

Jack  eating  rotten  cheese,  did  say, 
I/ike  Samson  I  my  thousands  slay  : 
I  vow,  quoth  Roger,  so  you  do. 
And  with  the  self-same  weapon  too. 
There  are  no  fools  so  troublesome  as  those  that  have 
writ. 

Quarrels  never  could  last  long, 
If  on  one  side  only  lay  the  wrong. 

DECEMBER. 

On  a  Bee,  stifled  in  honey. 

From  flower  to  flower,  with  eager  pains, 

See  the  poor  busy  lab'rer  fly  ! 

When  all  that  from  her  toil  she  gains, 

Is,  in  the  sweets  she  hoards,  to  die. 

'T  is  thus,  would  man  the  truth  believe, 

With  life's  soft  sweets,  each  fav'rite  joy : 

If  we  taste  wisely,  they  relieve  ; 

But  if  we  plunge  too  deep,  destroy. 

I,et  no  pleasure  tempt  thee,  no  profit  allure  thee,  no 
ambition  corrupt  thee,  no  example  sway  thee,  no  persua 
sion  move  thee,  to  do  any  thing  which  thou  knowest  to 
be  evil ;  so  shalt  thou  always  live  jollily  :  for  a  good  con 
science  is  a  continual  Christmas.  Adieu. 


poor  IRicbaro  for  1741  "7 


He  that  by  injury  is  griev'd, 

And  goes  to  law  to  be  relieved, 

Is  sillier  than  a  sottish  chouse, 

Who,  when  a  thief  has  robb'd  his  house, 

Applies  himself  to  cunning  men 

To  help  him  to  his  goods  again  : 

When,  all  he  can  expect  to  gain, 

Is  but  to  squander  more  in  vain. 

For  lawyers,  lest  the  Bear  defendant, 

And  plaintiff  Dog  should  make  an  end  on  't, 

Do  stave  and  tail  with  writs  of  error, 

Reverse  of  judgment  and  demurrer, 

To  let  them  breathe  a-while,  and  then, 

Cry  whoop,  and  set  them  on  again  ; 

Until,  with  subtil  cobweb  cheats, 

In  which,  when  once  they  are  embrangl'd. 

The  more  they  stir  the  more  they  'retangl'd 

For  while  their  purses  can  dispute, 

There  's  no  end  of  th'  immortal  suit. 


POOR   RICHARD  FOR    1742, 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

This  is  the  ninth  year  of  my  endeavours  to 
serve  thee  in  the  capacity  of  a  calendar-writer. 
The  encouragement  I  have  met  with  must  be 
ascribed  in  a  great  measure  to  your  charity,  ex 
cited  by  the  open,  honest  declaration  I  made 
of  my  poverty  at  my  first  appearance.  This  my 
brother  Philomaths  could,  without  being  conju 
rors,  discover  ;  and  Poor  Richard's  success  has 
produced  ye  a  Poor  Will,  and  a  Poor  Robin  ; 
and  no  doubt  a  Poor  John ,  &c.,  will  follow,  and 
we  shall  all  be,  in  name,  what  some  folks  say 
we  are  already  in  fact,  a  parcel  of  poor  almanac 
makers.  During  the  course  of  these  nine  years, 
what  buffetings  have  I  not  sustained  !  The 
fraternity  have  been  all  in  arms.  Honest  TUant 
.1x8 


poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1742  119 

deceased,  was  raised,  and  made  to  abuse  his  old 
friend.  Both  authors  and  printers  were  angry. 
Hard  names,  and  many  were  bestowed  on  me. 
They  denied  me  to  be  the  author  of  my  own 
works  ;  declared  there  never  was  any  such  pen 
son  ;  asserted  that  I  was  dead  sixty  years  ago  ; 
prognosticated  my  death  to  happen  within  a 
twelvemonth  ;  with  many  other  malicious  in 
consistencies,  the  effects  of  blind  passion,  envy 
at  my  success,  and  a  vain  hope  of  depriving  me, 
dear  reader,  of  thy  wonted  countenance  and 
favor.  Who  knows  him  ?  they  cry  ;  where  does 
he  live  ?  But  what  is  that  to  them  ?  If  I  de 
light  in  a  private  life,  have  they  any  right  to 
drag  me  out  of  my  retirement  ?  T  have  good 
reasons  for  concealing  the  place  of  my  abode. 
It  is  time  for  an  old  man,  as  I  am,  to  think  of 
preparing  for  his  great  remove.  The  perpetual 
teasing  of  both  neighbours  and  strangers  to  cal 
culate  nativities,  give  judgement  on  schemes, 
and  erect  figures,  discover  thieves,  detect  horse- 
stealers,  describe  the  route  of  runaways  and 
strayed  cattle  ;  the  crowd  of  visitors  with  a 
thousand  trifling  questions,  Will  my  ship  re 
turn  safe  ?  Will  my  mare  win  the  race  ?  Will 
her  next  colt  be  a  pacer  ?  When  will  my  wife 
die  ?  Who  shall  be  my  husband  ?  and  HO  W 
LONG  first?  When  is  the  best  time  to  cut 
hair,  trim  cocks,  or  sow  salad?  these  and  the 


i2o  poor  IRicbarD  for  1742 

like  impertinences  I  have  now  neither  taste  nor 
leisure  for.  I  have  had  enough  of  them.  All 
that  these  angry  folks  can  say  will  never  pro 
voke  me  to  tell  them  where  I  live  ;  I  would  eat 
my  nails  first. 

My  last  adversary  is/.  J n,  Philomat,  who 

declares  and  protests  (in  his  preface,  1741)  that 
the  false  prophecy  put  in  my  Almanac,  concern 
ing  him,  the  year  before,  is  altogether  false  and 
untrue,  and  that  I  am  one  of  BaaVs false  prophets. 
This  false,  false  prophecy  he  speaks  of  related 
to  his  reconciliation  with  the  Church  of  Rome  ; 
which  notwithstanding  his  declaring  and  pro 
testing,  is,  I  fear,  too  true.  Two  things  in  his 
elegiac  verses  confirm  me  in  this  suspicion. 
He  calls  the  first  of  November  All-Hallows 
Day.  Reader,  does  it  in  the  least  savour  of  the 
pure  language  of  friends?  But  the  plainest 
thing  is  his  adoration  of  saints,  which  he  con 
fesses  to  be  his  practice  in  these  words,  page  4, 

"  When  any  trouble  did  me  befall, 
To  my  dear  Mary  then  I  would  call." 

Did  he  think  the  whole  world  so  stupid  as  not 
to  take  notice  of  this  ?  So  ignorant  as  not  to 
know  that  all  Catholics  pay  the  highest  regard 
to  the  Virgin  Mary?  Ah,  friend  John,  we 
must  allow  you  to  be  a  poet,  but  you  are  cer- 


poor  IRfcbarD  for  1742  121 

tainly  no  Protestant.  I  could  heartily  wish 
your  religion  were  as  good  as  your  verses. 

RICHARD  SAUNDERS.* 

JANUARY. 

Foot,  Horse  and  Waggons,  now  cross  Rivers,  dry, 
And  Ships  unmov'd,  the  boistrous  Winds  defy, 
In  frozen  Climes  :  when  all  conceal'd  from  Sight, 
The  pleasing  Objects  that  to  Verse  invite  ; 
The  Hills,  the  Dales,  and  the  delightful  Woods, 
The  flowry  Plains,  and  Silver-streaming  Floods, 
By  Snow  disguis'd,  in  bright  Confusion  lie, 
And  with  one  dazling  Waste  fatigue  the  Eye. 

Strange !  that  a  Man  who  has  wit  enough  to  write  a 
Satyr  ;  should  have  folly  enough  to  publish  it. 
He  that  hath  a  Trade,  hath  an  Estate. 

*  In  the  preface  of  "The  American  Almanack"  for 
1743  John  Jerman  wrote  : 

"  To  the  READERS,  Here  is  presented  to  your  View 
and  Service  an  Almanack  for  the  Year  1743  according  to 
my  yearly  Method,  so  I  hope  it  needs  no  Explanation.  I 
have  put  down  the  Judgment  of  the  Weather  as  usual, 
and  as  I  find  the  Aspects  and  Positions  of  the  Planets  to 
signifie  ;  but  no  Man  can  be  infallible  therein,  by  reason 
of  the  many  contrary  Causes  happening  at  or  near  the 
same  Time,  and  the  inconstancy  of  the  Summer  Showers 
find  Gusts,  being  very  often  great  Rain  Hail  and  Thun 
der  in  one  Place,  and  none  at  all  in  another  Place  within 
a  few  Miles  distance.  However,  I  think  mine  comes  as 
near  the  Matter  as  any  other  if  not  nearer. 

' '  The  Reader  may  expect  a  Reply  from  me  to  R 

5" rs  alias  B F ns  facetious  Way  of  proving  me 

no  Protestant.  I  do  hereby  protest,  that  for  that  and  such 
kind  of  Usage  the  Pointer  of  that  witty  Performance 
shall  not  have  the  Benefit  of  my  Almanack  for  this  Year. 
To  avoid  further  Contention,  and  judging  it  unnecessary 
to  offer  any  Proofs  to  those  of  my  Acquaintance  that  I 
am  not  a  Papist,  I  shall  with  these  few  Ijnes  conclude, 
and  give  iplace.  to  what  I  think  more  agreeable  to  my 
Readers. 

JOHN  JERMAN." 


122  poor  iRtcbarfc  for  1742 

Have  you  somewhat  to  do  to-morrow  ;  do  it  to-day. 

FEBRUARY. 

James  ne'er  will  be  prefer'd  ;  he  cannot  bow 
And  cringe  beneath  a  supercilious  Brow  ; 
He  cannot  fawn,  his  stubborn  Soul  recoils 
At  Baseness,  for  his  Blood  too  highly  boils. 
A  Courtier  must  be  supple,  full  of  Guile, 
Must  learn  to  praise,  to  flatter,  to  revile 
The  Good,  the  Bad  ;  an  Knemy,  a  Friend  ; 
To  give  false  hopes,  and  on  false  Hopes  depend. 

No  workman  without  tools, 

Nor  lawyer  without  Fools, 

Can  live  by  their  Rules. 

The  painful  Preacher,  like  a  candle  bright, 

Consumes  himself  in  giving  others  L,ight. 

Speak  and  speed  :  the  close  mouth  catches  no  flies. 

MARCH. 

As  honest  Hodge  the  Farmer  sow'd  his  Field, 
Chear'd  with  the  Hope  of  future  Gain  't  would  yield, 
Two  upstart  Jacks  in  Office,  proud  and  vain, 
Come  riding  by,  and  thus  insult  the  Swain  : 
You  drudge  and  sweat,  and  labour  here,  Old  Boy, 
But  we  the  Fruit  of  your  hard  Toil  enjoy. 
Belike  you  may,  q-toth  Hodge,  and  but  your  Due, 
For,  Gentlemen,  't  is  HEMP  I  'm  sowing  now. 

Visit  your  Aunt,  but  not  every  Day  ;  and  call  at  you* 
Brother's,  but  not  every  night. 
Bis  dat,  qui  cito  dat.* 

Money  and  good  Manners  make  the  Gentleman. 
Late  Children,  early  Orphans. 

*  He  who  gives  promptly,  gives  twice  as  much. 


poor  IRtcbarD  tor  1742  123 


The  Winter  spent,  Joe  feels  the  Poet's  Fire, 
The  Sun  advances,  and  the  Fogs  retire  : 
The  genial  Spring  unbinds  the  frozen  Earth, 
Dawns  on  the  trees,  and  gives  the  Prim-rose  Birth. 
I,oos'd  from  their  Friendly  Harbours,  once  again, 
Our  floating  Forts  assemble  on  the  Main  ; 
The  Voice  of  War  the  gallant  Soldier  wakes  ; 
And  weeping  Cloe  parting  Kisses  takes. 

Ben  beats  his  Pate,  and  fancy s  wit  will  come  ; 
But  he  may  knock,  there  's  nobody  at  home. 
The  good  Spinner  hath  a  large  Shift. 
Tom,  vain  's  your  Pains  ;  They  all  will  fail : 
Ne'er  was  good  Arrow  made  of  a  Sow's  Tail. 

MAY. 

What  knowing  Judgment,  or  what  piercing  Eye, 
Can  MAN'S  mysterious  Maze  of  Falsehood  try  ? 
Intriguing  MAN,  of  a  suspicious  Mind, 
MA  N  only  knows  the  Cunning  of  his  Kind  ; 
With  equal  Wit  can  counter-  work  his  Foes, 
And  Art  with  Art,  and  Fraud  with  Fraud  oppose. 
Then  heed  ye  FAIR,  e'er  you  their  Cunning  prove, 
And  think  of  Treach'ry,  while  they  talk  of  I,OVE. 

Empty  Freebooters,  cover'd  with  Scorn  : 
They  went  out  for  Health,  &  came  ragged  and  torn, 
As  the  Ram  went  for  Wool,  and  was  sent  back  shorn. 
Ill  Customs  &  bad  Advice  are  seldom  forgotten. 
He  that  sows  thorns,  should  not  go  barefoot. 

JUNE. 

Sometimes  a  Man  speaks  Truth  without  Design, 
As  late  it  happen  "d  with  a  Friend  of  mine. 


124  f>oor  IRfctmrD  for  1742 

Two  reVerend  Preachers  talking,  one  declar'd, 
That  to  preach  twice  each  Sunday  was  full  hard. 
To  you,  perhaps  (says  t'  other),  for  I  suppose, 
That  all  Men  don't  with  the  same  Ease  compose  : 
But  I,  desiring  still  my  Flock  to  profit, 
Preach  twice  each  Sunday,  and  make  nothing  of  it. 

Reniego  de  grilles,  aunque  Jean  d'aro.* 
Men  meet,  mountains  never. 

When  Knaves  fall  out,  honest  Men  get  their  goods  : 
,Vhen  Priests  dispute,  we  come  at  the  Truth. 

JULY. 

Man  only  from  himself  can  suffer  Wrong ; 
His  Reason  fails  as  his  Desires  grow  strong  : 
Hence,  wanting  Ballast,  and  too  full  of  Sail, 
He  lies  expos'd  to  every  rising  Gale. 
From  Youth  to  Age,  for  Happiness  he  's  bound  ; 
He  splits  on  Rocks,  or  runs  his  Bark  aground ; 
Or,  wide  of  I^and,  a  desart  Ocean  views, 
And,  to  the  last,  the  flying  Port  pursues. 

Kate  would  have  Thomas,  no  one  blame  her  can  : 
Tom  won't  have  Kate,  and  who  can  blame  the  Man  ? 
A  large  train  makes  a  light  Purse. 
Death  takes  no  bribes. 

One  good  Husband  is  worth  two  good  Wives  ;  for  the 
scarcer  things  are  the  more  they  're  valued. 

AUGUST. 

The  Busy-Man's  Picture. 

BUSINESS,  thou  Plague  and  Pleasure  of  my  I^ife, 
Thou  charming  Mistress,  thou  vexatious  Wife  ; 

*  Execrate  fetters,  notwithstanding  Jean  d'Arc. 


fcoor  IRtcbarfc  for  1742  125 

Thou  Enemy,  thou  Friend,  to  Joy,  to  Grief, 
Thou  bring'st  rue  all,  and  bring'st  me  no  Relief, 
Thou  bitter,  sweet,  thou  pleasing,  teazing  Thing, 
Thou  Bee,  that  with  thy  Honey  wears  a  Sting  ; 
Some  Respite,  prithee  do,  yet  do  not  give, 
I  cannot  with  thee,  nor  without  thee,  live. 

He  that  riseth  late,  must  trot  all  day,  and  shall  scarce 
overtake  his  business  at  night. 
He  that  speaks  ill  of  the  Mare,  will  buy  her. 
You  may  drive  a  gift  without  a  gimblet. 
Eat  few  Suppers,  and  you  '11  need  few  Medecines. 

SEPTEMBER. 

The  Reverse. 

Studious  of  Ease,  and  fond  of  humble  Things, 
Below  the  Smiles,  below  the  Frowns  of  Kings  : 
Thanks  to  my  Stars,  I  prize  the  Sweets  of  I/ife, 
No  sleepless  Nights  I  count,  no  Days  of  Strife. 
I  rest,  I  wake,  I  drink,  I  sometimes  love, 
I  read,  I  write,  I  settle,  or  I  rove  ; 
Content  to  live,  content  to  die  unknown, 
lyord  of  myself,  accountable  to  none. 

You  will  be  careful,  if  you  are  wise  ;  How  you  touch 
men's  Religion,  or  Credit,  or  Eyes. 

After  Fish, 
Milk  do  not  wish. 

Heb  Ddnw  heb  ddim,  a  Dnw,  a  digon.* 
They  who  have  nothing  to    trouble  them,  will    bf 
troubled  at  nothing. 

*  Without  God  without  ought,  Gjd  ind  enough. 


126  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1742 

OCTOBER. 

On  him  true  HAPPINESS  shall  wait 
Who  shunning  noisy  Pomp  and  State 
Those  little  Blessings  of  the  Great 

Consults  the  Golden  Mean. 
In  prosp'rous  Gales  with  Care  he  steers, 
Nor  adverse  Winds,  dejected,  fears, 
In  ev'ry  Turn  of  Fortune  bears 

A  Face  and  Mind  serene. 

Against  Diseases  here,  the  strongest  Fence, 

Is  the  defensive  Virtue,  Abstinence. 

Fient  de  chien  &  marc  d' argent, 

Seront  tout  un  au  jour  du  jugement.* 

If  thou  dost  ill,  the  joy  fades,  not  the  pains  ; 

If  well,  the  pain  doth  fade,  the  joy  remains. 

NOVEMBER. 

Celia's  rich  Side-board  seldom  sees  the  I/ight, 
Clean  is  her  Kitchen,  and  her  Spits  are  bright ; 
Her  Knives  and  Spoons,  all  rang'd  in  even  Rows, 
No  Hands  molest,  nor  Fingers  discompose  : 
A  curious  Jack,  hung  up  to  please  the  Eye, 
Forever  still,  whose  Flyers  never  fly  : 
Her  Plates  unsully'd  shining  on  the  Shelf ; 
For  Celia  dresses  nothing,  but  herself. 

To  err  is  human,  to  repent  divine  ;  to  persist  devilish 
Money  &  Man  a  mutual  Friendship  show  : 
Man  makes  false  Money,  Money  makes  Man  so. 

Industry  pays  Debts,  Despair  encreases  them. 

Bright  as  the  day  and  as  the  morning  fair, 

Such  Cloe  is,  &  common  as  the  air. 

*  Dog's  dung  and  silver  marks 

Are  all  one  at  the  day  of  judgement. 


poor  Iflicbarfc  for  1742          127 

DECEMBER. 

Among-  the  Divines  there  has  been  much  Debate, 
Concerning  the  World  in  its  ancient  Estate  ; 
Some  say  't  was  once  good,  but  now  is  grown  bad, 
Some  say  't  is  reform'd  of  the  Faults  it  once  had  : 
I  say  't  is  the  best  World,  this  that  we  now  live  in, 
Either  to  lend,  or  to  spend,  or  to  give  in  ; 
But  to  borrow,  to  beg,  or  to  get  a  Man's  own, 
It  is  the  worst  World  that  ever  was  known. 

Here  comes  Glib-Tongue  :  who  can  out-flatter  a  Dedi 
cation  ;  and  lie,  like  ten  Epitaphs. 
Hope  and  a  Red-Rag,  are  Baits  for  Men  and  Mackerel. 
With  the  old  Almanack  and  the  old  Year, 
I^eave  thy  old  Vices,  tho'  ever  so  dear. 

Honest  Men  often  go  to  I^aw  for  their  Right ;  when 
Wise  Men  would  sit  down  with  the  Wrong,  supposing 
the  first  I/oss  least.  In  some  Countries,  the  Course 
of  the  Courts  is  so  tedious,  and  the  Expence  so  high, 
that  the  Remedy,  Justice,  is  worse  than  Injustice,  the 
Disease.  In  my  travels  I  once  saw  a  Sign  call'd  The 
Two  Men  at  Law  ;  One  of  them  was  painted  on  one  Side, 
in  a  melancholy  Posture,  all  in  Rags,  with  this  Scroll,  / 
have  lost  my  Cause.  The  other  was  drawn  capering  for 
Joy,  on  the  other  Side,  with  these  Words,  /  havegairid 
my  Suit ;  but  he  was  stark  naked. 

RUIZES  OF    HEAI/TH  AND    I,ONG    I,IFE,   AND    TO 

PRESERVE  FROM   MALIGNANT  FEVERS, 

AND  SICKNESS  IN  GENERAI,. 

Eat  and  drink  such  an  Exact  Quantity  as  the 
Constitution  of  thy  Body  allows  of,  in  reference 
to  the  Services  of  the  Mind. 


12$  poor  IRictmrfc  for  1742 

They  that  study  much,  ought  not  to  eat  -so 
much  as  those  that  work  hard,  their  Digestion 
being  not  so  good. 

The  exact  Quantity  and  Quality  being  found 
out,  is  to  be  kept  to  constantly. 

Bxcess  in  all  other  Things  whatever,  as  well 
as  in  Meat  and  Drink,  is  also  to  be  avoided. 

Youth,  Age,  and  Sick  require  a  different 
Quantity. 

And  so  do  those  of  contrary  Complexions  , 
for  that  which  is  too  much  for  a  flegmatick 
Man,  is  not  sufficient  for  a  Cholerick. 

The  Measure  of  Food  ought  to  be  (as  much 
as  possibly  may  be)  exactly  proportionate  to 
the  Quality  and  Condition  of  the  Stomach,  be 
cause  the  Stomach  digests  it. 

That  Quantity  that  is  sufficient,  the  Stomach 
can  perfectly  concoct  and  digest,  and  it  sufficeth 
the  due  Nourishment  of  the  Body. 

A  greater  Quantity  of  some  things  may  be 
eaten  than  of  others,  some  being  of  lighter 
Digestion  than  others. 

The  Difficulty  lies,  in  finding  out  an  exact 
Measure  ;  but  eat  for  Necessity,  not  Pleasure, 
for  L<ust  knows  not  where  Necessity  ends. 

Wouldst  thou  enjoy  a  long  Life,  a  healthy 
Body,  and  a  vigorous  Mind,  and  be  acquainted 
also  with  the  wonderful  works  of  God  ?  labour 
in  the  first  place  to  bring  thy  Appetite  into  Sub 
jection  to  Reason. 


fcoor  tttcbarfc  for  1742  129 

RUT,ES  TO  FIND  OUT  A   FIT  MEASURE  OF  MEAT 
AND  DRINK. 

If  thou  eatest  so  much  as  makes  thee  unfit  for 
Study,  or  other  Business,  thou  exceedest  the 
due  Measure. 

If  thou  art  dull  and  heavy  after  Meat,  it 's  a 
sign  thou  hast  exceeded  the  due  Measure  ;  for 
Meat  and  Drink  ought  to  refresh  the  Body,  and 
make  it  chearful,  and  not  to  dull  and  oppress  it. 

If  thou  findest  these  ill  Symptoms,  consider 
whether  too  much  Meat,  or  too  much  Drink 
occasions  it,  or  both,  and  abate  by  little  and  lit 
tle,  till  thou  findest  the  inconveniency  removed. 

Keep  out  of  the  Sight  of  Feasts  and  Banquets 
as  much  as  may  be ;  for  't  is  more  difficult  to 
refrain  good  Cheer,  when  it  's  present,  than 
from  the  Desire  of  it  when  it  is  away  ;  the  like 
you  may  observe  in  the  Objects  of  all  the  other 
Senses. 

If  a  Man  casually  exceeds,  let  him  fast  the 
next  Meal,  and  all  may  be  well  again,  provided 
it  be  not  too  often  done  ;  as  if  he  exceed  at  Din 
ner,  let  him  refrain  a  Supper,  &c. 

A  temperate  Diet  frees  from  Diseases  ;  such 
are  seldom  ill,  but  if  they  are  surprised  with 
Sickness,  they  bear  it  better,  and  recover  sooner; 
for  most  Distempers  have  their  Original  from 
Repletion. 

Use  now  and  then  a  little  Exercise  a  quarter 


/3o  poor  "Kicbarfc  for  1742 

of  an  Hour  before  Meals,  as  to  swing  a  Weight, 
or  swing  your  Arms  about  with  a  small  Weight 
in  each  Hand  ;  to  leap,  or  the  like,  for  that  stirs 
the  Muscles  of  the  Breast. 

A  temperate  Diet  arms  the  Body  against  all 
jexternal  Accidents  ;  so  that  they  are  not  so  eas- 
jily  [hurt]  by  Heat,  Cold  or  Labour  ;  if  they  at 
any  time  should  be  prejudiced,  they  are  more 
easily  cured,  either  of  Wounds,  Dislocations  or 
Bruises. 

But  when  malignant  Fevers  are  rife  in  the 
Country  or  City  where  thou  dwelst,  't  is  ad  vise- 
able  to  eat  and  drink  more  freely,  by  Way  of 
Prevention  ;  for  those  are  Diseases  that  are  not 
caused  by  Repletion,  and  seldom  attack  Full- 
feeders. 

A  sober  Diet  makes  a  Man  die  without  Pain  ; 
it  maintains  the  Senses  in  Vigour  ;  it  mitigates 
the  Violence  of  the  Passions  and  Affections. 

It  preserves  the  Memory,  it  helps  the  Under 
standing,  it  allays  the  heat  of  Lust ;  it  brings  a 
Man  to  a  Consideration  of  his  latter  End  ;  it 
makes  the  Body  a  fit  Tabernacle  for  the  Lord  to 
dwell  in  ;  which  makes  us  happy  in  this  World, 
and  eternally  happy  in  the  World  to  come, 
through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord  and  Saviour. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1743. 


PREFACE. 

FRIENDLY  READER, 

BECAUSE  I  would  have  every  Man  make 
Advantage  of  the  Blessings  of  Providence,  and 
few  are  acquainted  with  the  Method  of  making 
Wine  of  the  Grapes  which  grow  wild  in  our 
Woods,  I  do  here  present  them  with  a  few  easy 
Directions,  drawn  from  some  Years  Experience, 
which  if  they  will  follow,  they  may  furnish 
themselves  with  a  wholesome  sprightly  Claret, 
which  will  keep  for  several  Years,  and  is  not  in- 
ierior  to  that  which  passeth  for  French  Claret. 

Begin  to  gather  Grapes  from  the  loth  of  Sep 
tember  (the  ripest  first)  to  the  last  of  October, 
and  having  clear'd  them  of  Spider  webs,  and 
dead  Leaves,  put  them  into  a  large  Molasses  or 


132  poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1743 

Rum-Hogshead  ;  after  having  washed  it  well, 
and  knock'd  one  Head  out,  fix  it  upon  the  othei 
Head,  on  a  Stand,  or  Blocks  in  the  Cellar,  if  you 
have  any,  if  not,  in  the  warmest  Part  of  the 
House,  about  2  Feet  from  the  Ground  ;  as  the 
Grapes  sink,  put  up  more,  for  3  or  4  Days  ;  af 
ter  which,  get  into  the  Hogshead  bare-leg'd, 
and  tread  them  down  until  the  Juice  works  up 
about  your  Legs,  which  will  be  in  less  than  half 
an  Hour ;  then  get  out,  and  turn  the  Bottom  ones 
up,  and  tread  them  again,  a  Quarter  of  an  Hour ; 
this  will  be  sufficient  to  get  out  the  good  Juice  ; 
more  pressing  wou'd  burst  the  unripe  Fruit,  and 
give  it  an  ill  Taste.  This  done,  cover  the  Hogs 
head  close  with  a  thick  Blanket,  and  if  you  have 
no  Cellar,  and  the  Weather  proves  Cold,  with 
two. 

In  this  Manner  you  must  let  it  take  its  first 
Ferment,  for  4  or  5  Days  it  will  work  furiously  ; 
when  the  Ferment  abates,  which  you  will  know 
by  its  making  less  Noise,  make  a  Spile-hole 
within  six  Inches  of  the  Bottom,  and  twice  a  Day 
draw  some  in  a  Glass.  When  it  looks  as  clear 
as  Rock-water,  draw  it  off  into  a  clean,  rather 
than  new  Cask,  proportioning  it  to  the  Contents 
of  the  Hogshead  or  Wine  *  Vat ;  that  is,  if  the 
Hogshead  holds  twenty  Bushels  of  Grapes, 

*  Vat  or  Fatt,  a  Namefoi  the  Vessel,  in  which  you  tread 
the  Grapes,  and  in  which  the  Must  takes  its  first  Ferment. 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1743  133 

Stems  and  all,  the  Cask  must  at  least,  hold  20 
Gallons,  for  they  will  yield  a  Gallon  per  Bushel. 
Your  Juice  or  Must  *  thus  drawn  from  the  Vat, 
proceed  to  the  second  Ferment. 

You  must  reserve  in  Jugs  or  Bottles,  i  Gallon 
or  5  Quarts  of  the  Must  to  every  20  Gallons  you 
have  to  work ;  which  you  will  use  according  to 
the  following  Directions. 

Place  your  Cask,  which  must  be  chock  full, 
with  the  Bung  up,  and  open  twice  every  Day, 
Morning  and  Night ;  feed  your  Cask  with  the 
reserved  Must ;  two  Spoonfuls  at  a  time  will  suf 
fice,  cleaning  the  Bung  after  you  feed  it,  with 
y  our  Finger  or  a  Spoon,  of  the  Grape-Stones  and 
other  Filth  which  the  Ferment  will  throw  up  ; 
you  must  continue  feeding  it  thus  until  Christ 
mas,  when  you  may  bung  it  up,  and  it  will  be 
fit  for  Use,  or  to  be  rack'd  into  clean  Casks 
or  Bottles,  by  February. 

N.  B.  Gather  the  Grapes  after  the  Dew  is  off, 
and  in  all  dry  Seasons.  I/et  not  the  Children 
come  at  the  Must,  it  will  scour  them  severely. 
If  you  make  Wine  for  Sale,  or  to  go  beyond 
Sea,  one  quarter  Part  must  be  distill' d,  and  the 
Brandy  put  into  the  three  Quarters  remaining. 
One  Bushel  of  Grapes,  heap  Measure,  as  you 

*  Must  is  a  Name  for  the  Juice  of  the  IVine  before  it  is 
fermented,  afterwards  >t  is  called  Wine, 


134  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1743 

gather  them  from  the  Vine,  will  make  at  least  a 
Gallon  of  Wine,  if  good,  five  Quarts. 

Those  Directions  are  not  design 'd  for  those 
who  are  skill' d  in  making  Wine,  but  for  those 
who  have  hitherto  had  no  Acquaintance  with 
that  Art. 

JANUARY. 

On  the  Florida  War. 

From  Georgia  t'  Augustine  the  General  goes  ; 
From  A  ugustine  to  Georgia  comes  our  Foes  ; 
Hardy  from  Charleston  to  St.  Simons  hies, 
Again  from  thence  to  Charleston  back  he  flies. 
Forth  from  St.  Simons  then  the  Spaniards  creep  ; 
Say,  Children,  Is  not  this  your  Play,  Bo  Peep  ? 

How  few  there  are  who  have  courage  enough  to  own 
their  Faults,  or  resolution  enough  to  mend  them  I 

Men  differ  daily,  about  things  which  are  subject  to 
Sense,  is  it  likely  then  they  should  agree  about  things 
invisible. 

FEBRUARY. 

Democritus,  dear  Droll,  revisit  F^arth  ; 

And  with  our  Follies  glut  thy  heighten 'd  Mirth  : 

Sad  Heraclitus,  serious  Wretch,  return  ; 

In  louder  Grief,  our  greater  Crimes  to  mourn 

Between  you  both,  I  unconcern 'd  stand  by : 

Hurt,  can  I  laugh  ?  and  honest,  need  I  cry. 

Mark  with  what  insolence  and  pride, 
Blown  Bufo  takes  his  haughty  stride  ; 
As  if  no  toad  was  toad  beside. 

Ill  Company  is  like  a  dog  who  dirts  those  most,  that 
he  loves  best 


poor  IRicbarO  for  1743          135 


From  bad  Health,  bad  Conscience,  &  Parties  dull  Strife 
From  an  insolent  Friend,  &  a  termagant  Wife, 
From  the  Kindred  of  such  (on  one  Side  or  t'  other) 
Who  most  wisely  delight  in  plaguing  each  other  ; 
From  the  Wretch  who   can  cant,  while  he  Mischief 

designs, 

From  old  rotten  Mills,  bank'd  Meadows  &  Mines  ; 
From  Curses  like  these  if  kind  Heav'n  defends  me, 
I  '11  never  complain  of  the  Fortune  it  sends  me. 
In  prosperous  fortunes  be  modest  and  wise, 
The  greatest  may  fall,  and  the  lowest  may  rise  : 
But  insolent  People  that  fall  in  disgrace, 
Are  wretched  and  no  body  pities  their  Case. 

lye  sage  entend  a  demi  mot.* 
Sorrow  is  dry. 

APRIL. 

A  Parrot  is  for  Prating  priz'd, 

But  prattling  Women  are  despis'd ; 

She  who  attacks  another's  Honour 

Draws  every  living  Thing  upon  her. 

Think,  Madam,  when  you  stretch  your  I/ungs, 

That  all  your  Neighbors  too  have  Tongues  ; 

One  Slander  fifty  will  beget ; 

The  World  with  Interest  pays  the  Debt. 

The  World  is  full  of  fools  and  faint  hearts  ;  and  yet 
every  one  has  courage  enough  to  bear  the  misfortunes, 
and  wisdom  enough  to  manage  the  Affairs  of  his  neigh 
bour. 

Beware,  beware  !  he  '11  cheat  'ithout  scruple,  who  can 
without  fear. 

*  The  wise  understand  half  a  word. 


136  poor  IRicbarO  for  1743 


The  Snows  are  gone,  and  genial  Spring  once  more 

New  clothes  the  Meads  with  Grass,  the  Trees  witt 

I/eaves  ; 
And  the  proud  Rivers  that  disdain'd  a  Shore 

Within  their  Banks  now  roll  their  lessen 'd  Waves. 
Nature  seems  all  renew'd,  youthful  and  gay, 

IJv'n  lyuna  doth  her  monthly  I^oss  supply  ; 
But  Years  and  Hours  that  whirl  our  Time  away, 

Describe  our  State,  and  tell  us  we  must  die. 

The  D 1  wipes  his  B ch  with  poor  Folks  Pride. 

Content  and  Riches  seldom  meet  together, 
Riches  take  thou,  contentment  I  had  rather. 
Speak  with  contempt  of  none ,  from  slave  to  king, 
The  meanest  Bee  hath,  and  will  use,  a  sting. 

JUNB. 
Every  Man  for  himself,  &c. 

A  Town  fear'd  a  Siege,  and  held  Consultation, 

What  was  the  best  Method  of  Fortification  : 

A  grave  skilful  Mason  declar'd  his  Opinion, 

That  nothing  but  Stone  could  secure  the  Dominion, 

A  Carpenter  said,  Tho'  that  was  well  spoke 

Yet  he  'd  rather  advise  to  defend  it  with  Oak. 

A  Tanner  much  wiser  than  both  these  together, 

Cry'd,  Try  what  you  please ',  but  nothing  's  like  Leather. 

The  church,  the  state,  and  the  poor,  are  3  daughter! 
which  we  should  maintain,  but  not  portion  off. 
A  achwyno  heb  achos ;  gwneler  achos  iddo.* 
A  little  well-gotten  will  do  us  more  good, 
Than  lordships  and  scepters  by  Rapine  and  Blood. 

*  A  complainant   without    cause,  give   him   cause  t* 
complain, 


poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1743  137 

JULY. 

Friend  Col  and  I,  both  full  of  whim, 

To  shun  each  other  oft'  agree  ; 
For  I  'm  not  Beau  enough  for  him  ; 

And  he  's  too  much  a  Beau  for  me. 
Then  let  us  from  each  other  fly 

And  Arm  in-arm  no  more  appear ; 
That  I  may  ne'er  offend  your  E)ye  ; 

That  you  may  ne'er  offend  my  Ear. 

Borgen  macht  sorgen.* 

I^et  all  Men  knowthee,  but  no  man  know  thee  thor< 
oughly  :    Men  freely  ford  that  see  the  shallows. 
'T  is  easy  to  frame  a  good  bold  resolution  ; 
But  hard  is  the  Task  that  concerns  execution. 

Cold  &  cunning  come  from  the  north  : 

but  cunning  sans  wisdom  is  nothing  worth. 

AUGUST. 
On  buying  a  BIBLE. 

'T  is  but  a  Folly  to  rejoice,  or  boast, 

How  small  a  Price  thy  well  bought  Purchase  cost, 

Until  thy  Death,  thou  shalt  not  fully  know 

Whether  it  was  a  Pennyworth  or  no  ; 

And,  at  that  time,  believe  me  't  will  appear 

Kxtreamly  cheap,  or  else  extreamly  dear. 

'T  is  vain  to  repine, 
Tho'  a  learned  Divine 
Will  die  at  nine. 
A  noddo  duw,  ry  noddir.f 

*  Borrowing  makes  sorrowing. 

f  Should  read  A  noddo  Duw,  rhy  nodder—i.e. ,  Assurance 
hath  he  doubly  sure,  who  by  his  God  is  kept  secure, 


*38  poor  IRicbarO  for  1743 

Ah  simple  Man  !  when  a  boy  two  precious  jewels  were 
given  thee,  Time  and  good  Advice  ;  one  thou  hast  lost, 
and  the  other  thrown  away. 

No  sunno  i  bun 

Na  wnaid  i  un.* 

SEPTEMBER. 

Good  Death,  said  a  Woman,  for  once  be  so  kind 
To  take  me,  and  leave  my  dear  Husband  behind, 
But  when  Death  appear'd  with  a  sour  Grimace, 
The  Woman  was  dash'd  at  his  thin  hatchet  Face  ; 
So  she  made  him  a  Courts'y,  and  modestly  sed, 
If  you  come  for  my  Husband,  he  lies  there  in  Bed. 

Dick  told  his  spouse,  he  durst  be  bold  to  swear 

Whatever  she  prayed  for,  Heav'n  would thwart her  pray 'r: 

Indeed  !  says  Nell,  't  is  what  I  'm  pleas'd  to  hear ; 

For  now  1 " 'II  pray  for  your  long  life,  my  dear. 

The  sleeping  Fox  catches  no  poultry,    Up  !  up  ! 

OCTOBER. 

A  Musketo  just  starv'd,  in  a  sorry  Condition, 
Pretended  to  be  a  most  skilful  Musician  ; 
He  comes  to  a  Bee-hive,  and  there  he  would  stay 
To  teach  the  Bees  Children  to  sing  Sol  la  fa. 
The  Bees  told  him  plainly  the  Way  of  their  Nation, 
Was  breeding  up  Youth  in  some  honest  Vocation  ; 
I^est  not  bearing  labour,  they  should  not  be  fed, 
And '  lien  curse  their  Parents  for  being  high  bred. 
If  you  d  be  wealthy,  think  of  saving,  more  than  ot 

getting  :  The  Indies  have  not  made  Spain  rich,  because 

her  Outgoes  equal  her  Incomes. 
Tugend  bestehet  wen  alles  vergehet.f 

*  He  who  would  when  he  could  : 

Is  not  able  when  he  would  ? 
t  Virtue  remains  when  all  else  is  lost. 


Ipoor  IRicbarfc  for  1743  139 

Came  you  from  Court  ?  for  in  your  Mien 
A  self-important  air  is  seen. 

NOVEMBER. 

A  year  of  Wonders  now  behold  ! 

Britons  despising  Gallic  Gold  ! 

A  Year  that  stops  the  Spanish  Plunders ! 

A  Year  that  they  must  be  Refunders  ! 

A  Year  that  sets  our  Troops  a  marching  1 

A  Year  secures  our  Ships  from  Searching  ! 

A  Year  that  Charity's  extended  ! 

A  Year  that  Whig  and  Tory  's  blended ! 

Amazing  Year  !  that  we  're  defended ! 

Hear  what  Jack  Spaniard  says, 

Con  todo  el  Munda  Guerra 

Y  Paz  con  Ingalatierra.* 

If  you  'd  have  it  done,  Go  :  If  not,  send. 

Many  a  long  dispute   among  Divines  may  be  thus 
abridg'd,    It  is  so  :  It  is  not  so,  It  is  so  ;  It  is  not  so. 

DECEMBER. 

Inclement  Winter  rages  o'er  the  Plains 

Incrusts  the  Earth  and  binds  the  Floods  in  Chains. 

Is  the  Globe  mov'd  ?  or  does  our  Country  roll, 

In  nearer  Latitude  to  th'  artic  Pole  ? 

The  Fate  of  Lapland  and  its  Cold  v/e  bear, 

Yet  want  the  Fur,  the  Sledge  and  harness'd  Deer : 

To  punish  Guilt,  do  angry  Stars  combine 

Conjunct  or  Opposite,  Quarrile  or  Trine  ? 

Experience  keeps  a  dear  school,  yet  Fools  will  learn  in 
no  other. 
Felix  quern  faciunt  aliena  pericula  cautum.f 

*  With  all  the  world  at  war,  there  is  peace  in  England. 
f  Happy  is  he  that  takes  caution  from  others. 


140  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1743 

How  many  observe  Christ's  Birth-day  I  How  few  bis 
Precepts  !  O  i  't  is  easier  to  keep  Holidays  than  Com 
mandments. 

Once  on  a  Time  it  by  Chance  came  to  pass, 

That  a  Man  and  his  Son  were  leading  an  Ass. 

Cries  a  Passenger,  Neighbour,  you  're  shrewdly  put  to  't 

To  lead  an  Ass  empty,  and  trudge  it  on  foot. 

Nay,  quoth  the  old  Fellow,  if  Folk  do  so  mind  us 

I  '11  e'en  climb  the  Ass,  and  Boy  mount  behind  us  : 

But  as  they  jogg'd  on  they  were  laugh't  and  hisse'd  , 

What,  two  booby  Rubbers  on  one  sorry  Beast ! 

This  is  such  a  Figure  as  never  was  known  ; 

'T  is  a  Sign  that  the  Ass  is  none  of  your  own. 

Then  down  gets  the  Boy,  and  walks  by  the  Side, 

Till  another  cries,  What,  you  old  Fool  must  you  ride? 

When  you  see  the  poor  Child  that  's  weakly  and  young 

Forc'd  thro'  thick  and  thin  to  trudge  it  along, 

Then  down  gets  the  Father,  and  up  gets  the  Son  ; 

If  this  cannot  please  them  we  ne'er  shall  have  done. 

They  had  not  gone  far,  but  a  Woman  cries  out, 

O  you  young  graceless  Imp,  you  '11  be  hang'd,  no  doubt ! 

Must  you  ride  an  Ass,  and  your  Father  that 's  grey 

K'en  foot  it,  and  pick  out  the  best  of  his  Way  ? 

So  now  to  please  all  they  but  one  Trick  lack, 

And  that  was  to  carry  the  Ass  a  pick  pack  :  . 

But  when  that  was  try'd,  it  appear'd  such  a  Jest, 

It  occasioned  more  Laughter  by  half  than  the  rest. 

Thus  he  who  'd  please  all,  and  their  Good  liking  gain, 

Shows  a  deal  Good  Nature,  but  labours  in  vain. 

A  Person  threatning  to  go  to  I/aw,  was  dissuaded  from 
it  by  his  Friend,  who  desired  him  to  consider,  for  the 
L,aw  was  chargeable.  I  don't  care,  reply 'd  the  other,  I 
will  not  consider,  I  '11  go  to  Law.  Right,  said  his  Friend, 
for  if  you  go  to  law,  I  am  sure  you  don't  consider. 


fcoor  ttfcbarfc  for  1743  141 

A  Farmer  once  made  a  Complaint  to  a  Judge, 
My  Bull,  if  it  please  you,  Sir,  owing  a  Grudge, 
Belike  to  one  of  your  good  Worship's  Cattle, 
Has  slain  him  out-right  in  a  mortal  Battle  : 
I  'm  sorry  at  heart  because  of  the  Action, 
And  want  to  know  how  must  be  made  Satisfaction. 
Why,  you  must  give  me  your  Bull,  that 's  plain 
Says  the  Judge,  or  pay  me  the  Price  of  the  Slain. 
But  I  have  mistaken  the  Case,  Sir,  says  John, 
The  dead  Bull  I  talk  of,  &  please  you,  's  my  own  : 
And  yours  is  the  Beast  that  the  Mischief  has  done.. 
The  Judge  soon  replies  with  a  serious  Face  : 
Say  you  so  ;  then  this  Accident  alters  the  Case. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1744. 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 
This  is  the  Twelfth  Year  that  I  have  in  this 

Way  laboured   for   the  Benefit Whom? 

of  the  Publick,  if  you  '11  be  so  good- 
natured  as  to  believe  it ;  if  not,  e'en  take  the 
naked  Truth,  't  was  for  the  Benefit  of  my  own 
dear  self;  not  forgetting  in  the  mean  time,  our 
gracious  Consort  and  Dutchess  the  peaceful, 
quiet,  silent  Lady  Bridget.  But  whether  my 
Labours  have  been  of  any  Sendee  to  the  Pub- 
lick  or  not,  the  Publick  I  must  acknowledge 
has  been  of  Service  to  me  ;  I  have  lived  Com 
fortably  by  its  Benevolent  Encouragement ;  and 
I  hope  I  shall  always  bear  a  grateful  Sense  of  its 
continued  Favour. 

My  Adversary  J .  .  n  J n   has  indeed 

made  an  Attempt  to  out-shine  me  by  pretending 

to  penetrate  a  Year  deeper  into  Futurity  ;  and 

142 


H>oor  tfticbard  for  1744  143 

giving  his  Readers  gratis  in  his  Almanack  for 
1743  an -Eclipse  of  the  Year  1744,  to  be  before 
hand  with  me  :  His  Words  are,  ' '  The  first  Day 
'of  April  next  Year  1744,  there  will  be  a 
"GREAT  ECLIPSE  of  the  Sun;  it  begins 
"  about  an  Hour  before  Sunset.  It  being  in  the 
"  Sign  Aries,  the  House  of  Mars,  and  in  the  7th, 
"shows  Heat,  Difference  and  Animosities  be- 
"tween  Persons  of  the  highest  Rank  and 
"Quality,"  &c.  I  am  very  glad,  for  the  Sake 
of  *  *  *  se  Persons  of  Rank  and  Quality,  that 
there  is  *  *  manner  of  Truth  in  this  Prediction  : 
They  may,  *****  please,  live  in  Love  and 
Peace.  And  I  *****  his  Readers  (they  are 
but  few,  indeed,  and  so  the  Matter  's  the  less) 
not  to  give  themselves  any  Trouble  about  ob 
serving  this  imaginary  Great  Eclipse  ;  for  they 
may  stare  till  they  're  blind  without  seeing  the 
least  Sign  of  it.  I  might,  on  this  Occasion, 

return  Mr.  J n  the  Name  of  BaaVs  false 

Prophet  he  gave  me  some  Years  ago  in  his 
Wrath,  on  Account  of  my  Predicting  his  Recon 
ciliation  with  the  Church  of  Rome,  (tho'  he 
seems  now  to  have  given  up  that  Point)  but  I 
think  such  Language  *******  old  Men  and 
Scholars  unbecoming  ;  and  **********  the 
Affair  with  the  Buyers  of  his  Almanack  as  well 
as  he  can,  who  perhaps  will  not  take  it  very 
kindly,  that  he  has  done  what  in  him  lay  (by 


144  t>oor  IRicbarD  for  1744 

sending  them  out  to  gaze  at  an  invisible  Eclipse 
on  the  first  of  April]  to  make  April  Fools  of 
them  all.  His  old  thread-bare  Excuse  which  he 
repeats  Year  after  Year  about  the  Weather, 
"That  no  Man  can  be  infallible  therein,  by 
"Reason  of  the  many  contrary  Causes  happen 
ing  at  or  near  the  same  time,  and  the  Un- 
"  constancy  of  the  Summer  Showers  and  Gusts," 
&c.  will  hardly  serve  him  in  the  Affair  of 
Eclipses  ;  and  I  know  not  where  he  '11  get 
another. 

I  have  made  no  Alteration  in  my  usual 
Method,  except  adding  the  Rising  and  Setting 
of  the  Planets,  and  the  Lunar  Conjunctions. 
Those  who  are  so  disposed,  may  thereby  very 
readily  learn  to  know  the  Planets,  and  dis 
tinguish  them  from  each  other. 
/  am,  dear  Reader, 

Thy  obliged  Friend, 
R.  SAUNDERS. 

THE  COUNTRY   MAN. 

Happy  the  Man  whose  Wish  and  Care 

A  few  paternal  Acres  bound, 
Content  to  breathe  his  native  Air, 

In  his  own  Ground. 

Whose  Herds  with  Milk,  whose  Fields  with  BreadD 

Whose  Flocks  supply  him  with  Attire, 
Whose  Trees  in  Summer  yield  him  Shade, 
In  Winter  Fire. 


poor  IRtcbarfc  for  174*  145 

Blest,  who  can  unconcernedly  find 

Hours,  Days  and  Years  slide  soft  away, 
In  Health  of  Body,  Peace  of  Mind, 

Quiet  by  Day, 

Sound  Sleep  by  Night ;  Study  and  Ease 

Together  mixt ;  Sweet  Recreation  ; 
And  Innocence  which  most  does  please 

With  Meditation. 

Thus  let  me  live,  unseen,  unknown, 

Thus  unlamented  let  me  die, 
Steal  from  the  World,  and  not  a  Stone 
Tell  where  I  lie. 

JANUARY. 

Biblis  does  Solitude  admire, 

A  wond'rous  I,over  of  the  Dark  ; 
Each  Night  puts  out  her  Chamber  Fire, 

And  j  ust  keeps  in  a  single  Spark  ; 
'Till  four  she  keeps  herself  alive, 

Warm'd  by  her  Piety,  no  doubt : 
Then,  tir'd  with  kneeling,  just  at  five, 
She  sighs and  lets  that  Spark  go  out. 

He  that  drinks  his  Cyder  alone,  let  him  catch  hifl 
Horse  alone. 

Who  is  strong  ?    He  that  can  conquer  his  bad  Habits. 
Who  is  rich  ?    He  that  rejoices  in  his  Portion. 

FEBRUARY. 

Our  youthful  Preacher  see,  intent  on  Fame  ; 
Warm  to  gain  Souls  ? — No,  't  is  to  gain  a  Name. 
Behold  his  Hands  display'd,  his  Body  rais'd  ; 

With  what  a  Zeal  he  labours to  be  prais'd. 

Touch 'd  with  each  Weakness  which  he  does  arraign, 


146  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1744 

With  Vanity  he  talks  against  the  Vain  ; 
With  Ostentation  does  to  Meekness  guide  ; 
Proud  of  his  Periods  form'd  to  strike  at  Pride. 

He  that  has  not  got  a  Wife,  is  not  yet  a  compleat  Man 


Without  Repentance  none  to  Heav'n  can  go, 
Yet  what  Repentance  is  few  seem  to  know  : 
'T  is  not  to  cry  out  Mercy,  or  to  sit 
And  droop,  or  to  confess  that  thou  hast  fail'd  ; 
'T  is  to  bewail  the  Sins  thou  didst  commit, 
And  not  commit  those  Sins  thou  hast  bewail'd. 
He  that  bewails,  and  not  forsakes  them  too, 
Confesses  rather  what  he  means  to  do. 

What  you  would  seem  to  be,  be  really. 
If  you  'd  lose  a  troublesome  Visitor,  lend  him  money. 
Tart  Words  make  no  Friends  :  spoonful  of  honey  will 
catch  more  flies  than  Gallon  of  Vinegar. 


With  what  a  perfect  World-revolving  Power 
Were  first  the  unwieldy  Planets  launch'd  along 
Th'  illimitable  Void  !    Thus  to  remain 
Amid  the  Flux  of  many  thousand  Years, 
That  oft  has  swept  the  busy  Race  of  Men, 
And  all  their  labour 'd  Monuments  away  : 
Unresting,  changeless,  matchless,  in  their  Course  : 
To  Night  and  Day,  with  the  delightful  Round 
Of  Seasons,  faithful,  not  eccentric  once  : 
So  pois'd,  and  perfect  is  the  vast  Machine  ! 

Make  haste  slowly. 

Dine  with  little,  sup  with  less  :     Do  better  still  ;  sleep 
supperless. 


fcoor  Iftfcbarfc  for  1744  147 

Industry,  Perseverance,  &  Frugality,  make  Fortune 
yield. 


Irus  tho'  wanting  Gold  and  L,ands, 
I^ives  chearful,  easy,  and  content  ; 
Corons,  unbless'd,  with  twenty  Hands 
Employ 'd  to  count  his  yearly  E.ent. 
Sages  in  Wisdom  !  tell  me  which 
Of  these  you  think  possesses  more  ! 
One  with  his  Poverty  is  rich , 
And  one  with  all  his  Wealth  is  poor. 

I  '11  warrant  ye,  goes  before  Rashness  ;  Who  'd-a-tho't 
comes  sneaking  after. 
Prayers  and  Provender  hinder  110  Journey. 

JUNE. 

Of  all  the  Causes  which  conspire  to  blind 
Man's  erring  Judgment,  and  misguide  the  Mind, 
What  the  weak  Head  with  strongest  Biass  rules, 
Is  Pride,  that  never-failing  Vice  of  Fools. 
Whatever  Nature  has  in  Worth  deny'd, 
She  gives  in  large  Recruits  of  needful  Pride  ; 
For  as  in  Bodies,  thus  in  Souls  we  find 
What  wants  in  Blood  &  Spirits,  swell'd  with  Wind. 

Hear  Reason,  or  she  '11  make  you  feel  her. 
Give  me  yesterday's  Bread,  this  Day's  Flesh,  and  last 
Year's  Cyder. 

JULY. 

All-conq'ring  Heat,  oh  intermit  thy  Wrath  i 
And  on  my  throbbing  Temples  potent  thus 
Beam  not  so  hard  !    Incessant  still  you  flow, 
And  still  another  fervent  Flood  succeeds, 
Pour'd  on  the  Head  profuse.    In  vain  I  sigh, 


148  poor  IRfcbarD  for  1744 

And  restless  turu,  find  look  around  for  night 
Night  is  far  ofT;  and  hotter  Hours  approach. 
Who  can  endure  !  -  -  -  - 

God  heals,  and  the  Doctor  takes  the  Fees. 

Sloth  (like  Rust)  consumes  faster  than  I,abour  wears  ; 
the  used  Key  is  always  bright. 

I4ght  Gains  heavy  Purses. 

AUGUST. 

Would  men  but  follow  what  the  Sex  advise, 

All  things  would  prosper,  all  the  World  grow  wise. 

'T  was  by  Rebecca's  Aid  that  Jacob  won 

His  Father's  Blessing  from  an  elder  Son. 

Abusive  Nabal  ow'd  his  forfeit  lyife 

To  the  wise  Conduct  of  a  prudent  Wife. 

At  Hester's  Suit,  the  persecuting  Sword 

Was  sheath'd,  and  Israel  liv'd  to  bless  the  I,ord. 

Keep  thou  from  the  Opportunity,  and  God  will  keep 
vhee  from  the  Sin. 

Where  there  's  no  I<aw,  there  's  no  Bread. 
As  Pride  increases,  Fortune  declines. 

SEPTEMBER. 

All  other  Goods  by  Fortune's  Hand  are  giv'n, 
A  WIFK  is  the  peculiar  gift  of  Heav'n. 
Vain  Fortune's  Favours,  never  at  a  Stay, 
I^ike  empty  Shadows,  pass,  and  glide  away  ; 
One  solid  Comfort,  our  eternal  Wife, 
Abundantly  supplies  us  all  our  I^ife  : 
This  Blessing  lasts  (if  those  that  try  say  true) 
As  long  as  Heart  can  wish— and  longer  too. 

Drive  thy  Business,  or  it  will  drive  thee. 


poor  IRlcbaro  for  1744  149 

A  full  Belly  is  the  Mother  of  all  Evil. 

The  same  man  cannot  be  both  Friend  and  Flatterer. 

He  who  multiplies  Riches  multiplies  Cares. 

An  old  man  in  a  House  is  a  good  Sign. 

OCTOBBR. 

Be  Niggards  of  Advice  on  no  Pretence  ; 
For  the  worst  Avarice  is  that  of  Sense. 
Yet 't  is  not  all,  your  Counsel 's  free  and  true  ; 
Blunt  Truths  more  Mischief  than  nice  Falshoods  do. 
Men  must  be  taught  as  if  you  taught  them  not, 
And  Things  unknown  propos'd  as  Things  forgot ; 
Without  Good  Breeding  Truth  is  disapprov'd 
That  only  makes  superior  Sense  belov'd. 

Those  who  are  fear'd,  are  hated. 
The  Things  which  hurt,  instruct. 

The  Bye  of  a  Master,  will  do  more  Work  than  his 
Hand. 
A  soft  Tongue  may  strike  hard. 

NOVEMBER. 

Sylvia  while  young,  with  ev'ry  Grace  adorn 'd, 
Each  blooming  Youth,  and  fondest  IvOver  scorn'd  : 
In  Years  at  length  arriv'd  at  Fifty-nine, 
She  feels  Cove's  Passion  as  her  Charms  decline  : 

Thus  Oaks  a  hundred  Winters  old 

Just  as  they  now  expire, 
Turn  Touchwood,  doated,  grey  and  old, 
And  at  each  Spark  take  Fire. 

If  you  'd  be  belov'd,  make  yourself  amiable. 

A  true  Friend  is  the  best  Possession. 

Fear  God,  and  your  Enemies  will  fear  you. 


150  poor  IRtcbarD  tor  1744 

DECEMBER. 

This  World  's  an  Inn,  all  Travellers  are  we  ; 
And  this  World's  Goods  th'  Accommodations  be. 
Our  I^ife  is  nothing  but  a  Winter's  Day  ; 
Some  only  break  their  Fast,  and  so  away. 
Others  stay  Dinner,  and  depart  full  fed. 
The  deepest  Age  but  sups  and  goes  to  bed. 
He  's  most  in  Debt  that  lingers  out  the  Day  ; 
Who  dies  betimes  has  less  and  less  to  pay. 

Epitaph  on  a  Scolding  Wife  by  her  Husband.  Here 
my  poor  Bridget's  Corps  doth  lie,  she  is  at  rest,— and 
so  am  I. 

COURTS. 

Two  trav'ling  Beggars,  (I  've  forgot  their  name) 
On  Oister  found  to  which  they  both  laid  Claim. 
Warm  the  Dispute  !    At  length  to  I<aw  they  'd  gos 
As  richer  Fools  for  Trifles  often  do. 
The  Cause  two  Petty  foggers  undertake, 
Resolving  right  or  wrong  some  Gain  to  make. 
They  jangle  till  the  Court  this  Judgment  gave, 
Determining  what  every  one  should  have. 

Blind  Plaintiff,  lame  Defendant,  share 

The  friendly  Law's  impartial  Care  : 

A  Shell  for  him,  a  Shell  for  thee  ; 

The  MIDDLE' s  Bench  and  Lawyer's  Fee, 


POOR   RICHARD  FOR    1745. 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

For  the  Benefit  of  the  Publick,  and  my  own 
Profit,  I  have  performed  this  my  thirteenth 
annual  Labour,  which  I  hope  will  be  as  accept 
able  as  the  former. 

The  rising  and  setting  of  the  Planets,  and 
their  Conjunctions  with  the  Moon,  I  have  con 
tinued  ;  whereby  those  who  are  unacquainted 
with  those  heavenly  Bodies,  may  soon  learn  to 
distinguish  them  from  the  fixed  Stars,  by  ob 
serving  the  following  directions. 

All  those  glittering  Stars,  (except  five)  which 
we  see  in  the  Firmament  of  Heaven,  are  called 
fixed  Stars,  because  they  keep  the  Same  Dis 
tance  from  one  another,  and  from  the  Ecliptic ; 
they  rise  and  set  at  the  same  point  of  the  Hori- 

151 


152  poor  IRicbaro  tor  1745 

zon,  and  appear  like  so  many  lucid  Points  fixed 
to  the  celestial  Firmament.  The  other  five  have 
a  particular  and  different  motion,  for  which 
Reason  they  have  not  always  the  same  Distance 
from  one  another  ;  and  therefore  they  have  been 
called  wandering  Stars  or  Planets,  viz.  Saturn 
^,  Jupiter  if,  Mars  $,  Venus  $,  and  Mercury 
$ ,  and  these  may  be  distinguished  from  the 
fixed  Stars  by  their  not  twinkling.  The  bright 
est  of  the  five  is  Venus,  which  appears  the 
biggest ;  and  when  this  glorious  Star  appears, 
and  goes  before  the  Sun,  it  is  called  Phosphorus, 
or  the  Morning  Star,  and  Hesperus,  or  the  Bveii- 
ing-Star,  when  it  follows  the  Sun.  Jupiter 
appears  almost  as  big  as  Venus,  but  not  so 
bright.  Mars  may  be  easily  known  from  the 
rest  of  the  Planets,  because  it  appears  red  like 
a  hot  Iron  or  burning  Coal,  and  twinkles  a  lit 
tle.  Saturn,  in  Appearance,  is  less  than  Mars, 
and  of  a  pale  colour.  Mercury  is  so  near  the 
Sun  that  it  is  seldom  seen. 

Against  the  6th  Day  of  January  you  may  see 
$  rise  10  35,  which  signifies  the  Planet  Mars 
rises  35  Minutes  after  10  o'Clock  at  Night,  when 
that  Planet  may  be  seen  to  appear  in  the  East. 
Also  against  the  loth  Day  of  January  you  will 
find  9  sets  7  13,  which  shows  Venus  sets  13 
Minutes  after  7  o'Clock  at  Night.  If  you  look 
towards  the  West  that  Evening,  you  may  see 


poor  IRfcbarD  for  1745  153 

that  beautiful  Star  till  the  Time  of  its  setting. 
Again,  on  the  i8th  Day  of  the  same  Month,  you 
will  find  *?  rise  9  18,  which  shews  that  Saturn 
rises  18  Minutes  after  9  at  Night. 

Or  the  Planets  may  be  known  by  observing 
them  at  the  time  of  their  Conjunctions  with  the 
Moon,  viz.  against  the  14  Day  of  January  are 
inserted  these  characters  6  D  T? ,  which  shews 
there  will  be  a  Conjunction  of  the  Moon  and 
Saturn  on  that  Day.  If  you  look  out  about  5 
o'Clock  in  the  Morning,  you  will  see  Saturn 
very  near  the  Moon.  The  like  is  to  be  observed 
at  any  other  time  by  the  rising  and  setting  of 
the  Planets,  and  their  Conjunctions  with  the 
moon  ;  by  which  method  they  may  be  distinctly 
known  from  the  fixed  Stars. 

I  have  nothing  further  to  add  at  present,  but 
my  hearty  Wishes  for  your  Welfare,  both  tem 
poral  and  spiritual,  and  Thanks  for  all  your 
past  Favours,  being 

Dear  Reader, 

Thy  obliged  Friend, 

R.  SAUNDBRS. 


Go,  wond'rous  creature  !  mount  where  Science  guides, 
Go  measure  Earth,  weigh  air,  and  state  the  Tides  ; 
Shew  by  what  I,aws  the  wand 'ring  Planets  stray, 
Correct  old  Time,  and  teach  the  Sun  his  Way. 
Go  soar  with  Plato  to  th'  empyreal  Sphere, 
To  thefirst  Good,  first  Perfect,  and  first  Fair; 


154  Poor  IRtcbarD  for  1745 

Or  tread  the  mazy  Round  his  Follow'rs  trod, 
And,  quitting  Sense,  called  imitation  God, 
As  Kastern  Priests  in  giddy  circles  run 
And  turn  their  Heads  to  imitate  the  Sun. 
Go  teach  Eternal  Wisdom  how  to  rule,  — 
Then  drop  into  thyself,  and  be  a  Fool. 

JANUARY. 

I  give  and  I  devise  (old  Euclio  said, 
And  sigh'd)  "  My  Lands  and  Tenements  to  Ned  " 
Your  money,  Sir  ?    My  money,  Sir  !  what,  all  ? 
"Why  -  if  I  must— (then  wept)  I  give  it  Paul" 
The  Manner,  Sir?    "  The  Manner  !  hold,  he  cry'd  ; 
"  Not  that I  cannot  part  with  that " and  dy'd. 

Beware  of  little  Kxpences,  a  small  leak  will  sink  a 
great  ship. 

Wars  bring  scars. 

A  light  purse  is  a  heavy  curse. 

As  often  as  we  do  good,  we  sacrifice. 

Help,  Hands  ;  For  I  have  no  Lands. 

FEBRUARY. 

Self  Love  but  serves  the  virtuous  Mind  to  wake, 
As  the  small  Pebble  stirs  the  peaceful  Lake  ; 
The  Centre  mov'd,  a  Circle  strait  succeeds, 
Another  still,  and  still  another  spreads, 
Friend,  Parent,  Neighbour,  first  it  will  embrace. 
His  Country  next,  and  next  all  human  Race  ; 
Wide  and  more  wide,  th'  o'erflowings  of  the  Mind 
Take  every  Creature  in  of  every  Kind. 

It 's  common  for  Men  to  give  pretended  Reasons  in 
stead  of  one  rea'.  one. 


poor  IRicbaro  for  1745  155 

MARCH. 

Fame  but  from  Death  a  Villian's  Name  can  save, 
As  Justice  tears  his  Body  from  the  Grave  ; 
When  what  t' oblivion  better  were  resign 'd 
Is  luring  on  high  to  poison  half  Mankind. 
All  Fame  is  foreign  but  of  true  Desert, 
Plays  round  the  Head,  but  comes  not  to  the  Heart. 
One  self-approving  Hour  whole  Years  outweighs 
Of  stupid  Starers  and  of  loud  Huzza' s. 

Vanity  backbites  more  than  Malice. 

He  's  a  Fool  that  cannot  conceal  his  Wisdom. 

Great  spenders  are  bad  lenders. 

All  blood  is  alike  ancient. 


'T  is  not  for  Mortals  always  to  be  blest : 
But  him  the  least  the  dull  and  painful  Hours 
Of  lyife  oppress,  whom  sober  SENSE  conducts, 
And  VIRTUE,  thro'  this  Labyrinth  we  tread. 
Virtue  and  Sense  are  one  ;  and,  trust  me,  he 
Who  has  not  Virtue,  is  not  truly  wise. 

You  may  talk  too  much  on  the  best  of  subjects. 

A  Man  without  ceremony  has  need  of  great  merit  in 
its  place. 

No  gains  without  pains. 


Virtue,  (for  mere  GOOD-NATURE,  is  a  Fool) 
Is  Sense  and  Spirit,  with  HUMANITY  ; 
'T  is  sometimes  angry,  and  its  Fiown  confounds 
'T  is  ev'n  vindictive,  but  in  Vengeance  just. 


t56  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1745 

Knaves  fain  would  laugh  at  it ;  some  great  ones  dare 

But  at  his  Heart,  the  most  undaunted  Son 

Of  Fortune  dreads  its  name  and  awful  charms. 

Had  I  revenged  wrong,  I  had  not  worn  my  skirts  so  long 
Graft  good  fruit  all,  or  graft  not  at  all. 

JUNE. 

Unhappy  Italy  !  whose  alter'd  State 

Has  felt  the  worst  Severity  of  Fate  ; 

Not  that  Barbarian  Band  her  Fasces  broke 

And  bow'd  her  haughty  neck  beneath  her  yoke  ; 

Nor  that  her  Palaces  to  Earth  are  thrown, 

Her  Cities  desart,  and  her  Fields  unsown  ; 

But  that  her  ancient  spirit  is  decay'd, 

That  sacred  Wisdom  from  her  Bounds  is  fled, 

That  there  the  Source  of  Science  flows  no  more, 

Whense  its  rich  Streams  supply'd  the  world  before. 

Idleness  is  the  greatest  Prodigality. 
Old  young  and  old  long. 

Punch  coal,  cut  candle,  and  set  brand  on  end,  is  nel 
ther  good  house-wife,  nor  good  house-wife's  friend. 

JULY. 

Hot  from  the  Field,  indulge  not  yet  your  Limbs 
In  wish'd  Repose,  nor  court  the  fanning  Gale, 
Nor  taste  the  Spring.    Oh  !  by  the  sacred  Tears 
Of  Widows,  Orphans,  Mothers,  Sisters,  Sires, 
Forbear  !  ...  no  other  Pestilence  has  driven 
Such  myriads  o'er  th'  irremedeable  Deap. 

He  who  buys  had  need  have  100  Eyes,  but  one  's 
enough  for  him  that  sells  the  Stuff. 

There  are  no  fools  so  troublesome  as  those  that  have 
wit. 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1745  157 

AUGUST. 

Has  God,  thou  fool !  work'd  solely  for  thy  Good, 
Thy  Joy,  thy  Pastime,  thy  Attire,  thy  Food  ? 
Who  for  thy  Table  feeds  the  wanton  Fawn, 
For  him  as  kindly  spread  the  flow'ry  I^awn. 
Is  it  for  thee  the  I^ark  descends  and  sings  ? 
Joy  tones  his  Voice,  Joy  elevates  his  Wings. 
Is  it  for  thee  the  Mock  bird  pours  his  Throat  ? 
I/jves  of  his  own,  and  Raptures,  swell  the  note. 

Many  complain  of  their  Memory,  few  of  their  Judge 
ment. 

One  Man  may  be  more  cunning  than  another,  but  not 
more  cunning  than  every  body  else. 

SEPTEMBER. 

The  bounding  steed  you  pompously  bestride, 
Shares  with  his  I,ord  the  Pleasure  and  the  Pride. 
Is  thine  alone  the  seed  that  strows  the  Plain  ? 
The  Birds  of  Heav'n  shall  vindicate  their  Grain. 
Thine  the  full  Harvest  of  the  golden  Year  ? 
Part  pays,  and  justly,  the  deserving  Steer. 
The  Hog  that  plows  not,  nor  obeys  thy  Call, 
I,ives  on  the  I,abours  of  this  I,ord  of  all. 

To  God  we  owe  fear  and  love  ;  to  our  neighbours  jus 
tice  and  character  ;  to  our  selves  prudence  and  sobriety. 

Fools  make  feasts  and  wise  men  eat  them. 

lyight  heel'd  mothers  make  leaden-heel'd  daughters. 

OCTOBER. 

For  Forms  of  Government  let  Fools  contest, 

Whate'er  is  best  admin ister'd  is  best  ; 

For  Modes  of  Faith  let  graceless  Zealots  fight 


rs8  fcoor  IRtcbarfc  for  1745 

His  can't  be  wrong,  whose  I/ife  is  in  the  right : 
All  must  be  false,  that  thwart  this  one  great  End, 
And  all  of  God,  that  bless  Mankind,  or  Mend. 

The  good  or  ill  hap  of  a  good  or  ill  life,  is  the  good  01 
ill  choice  of  a  good  or  ill  wife. 
'T  is  easier  to  prevent  bad  habits  than  to  break  them. 

NOVEMBER. 

Fair  Summer  's  gone,  and  Nature's  Charms  decay. 
See  gloomy  Clouds  obscure  the  cheerful  Day  ! 
Now  hung  with  Pearls  the  dropping  Trees  appear, 
Their  faded  Honours  scatter'd  here  and  there. 
Behold  the  Groves  that  shine  with  silver  Frost 
Their  Beauty  wither'd,  and  their  Verdure  lost, 
Sharp  Boreas  blows,  and  Nature  feels  Decay 
Time  conquers  all  and  we  must  Time  obey. 

Every  Man  has  assurance  enough  to  boast  of  his  hon 
esty—few  of  their  Understanding. 

Interest  which  blinds  some  People,  enlightens  others. 

DECEMBER. 

These  Blessings,  Reader,  may  Heav'n  grant  to  thee  ; 

A  faithful  Friend,  equal  in  Cove's  degree  ; 

I^and  fruitful,  never  conscious  of  the  Curse, 

A  liberal  Heart  and  never-failing  Purse  ; 

A  smiling  Conscience,  a  contented  mind  ; 

A  temp'rate  knowledge  with  true  Wisdom  join'd  ; 

A  life  as  long  as  fair,  and  when  expir'd, 

A  kindly  Death,  unfear'd  as  undesir'd. 

An  Ounce  of  wit  that  is  bought  Is  worth  a  pound  that 
is  taught. 

He  that  resolves  to  mend  hereafter,  resolves  not  to 
mend  now. 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1745  159 

COURTS. 

The  Christian  Doctrine  teaches  to  believe 

Its  every  Christian's  Duty,  to  forgive 

Could  we  forgive  as  fast  as  Men  offend 

The  I/AWS  slow  Progresses  would  quickly  end 

Revenge  of  past  Offences  is  the  Cause 

Why  peaceful  Minds  consented  to  have  lyaws, 

Yet  Plaintiffs  and  Defendants  much  mistake 

Their  Cure,  and  their  Diseases  lasting  make  , 

For  to  be  reconcil'd,  and  to  comply 

Would  prove  their  cheap  and  shortest  Remedy, 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1746. 


PREFACE. 

Who  is  Poor  Richard  f    People  oft  enquire, 
Where  lives  ?    What  is  he  ?— never  yet  the  nigher 
Somewhat  to  ease  your  Curiositie, 
Take  these  slight  Sketches  of  my  Dame  and  me. 

Thanks  to  kind  Readers  and  a  careful  Wife, 
With  plenty  bless'd,  I  lead  an  easy  I^ife  ; 
My  business  Writiug-  ;  les§  to  drain  the  Mead, 
Or  crown  the  barren  Hill  with  useful  Shade  ; 
In  the  smooth  Glebe  to  see  the  Plowshare  worn, 
And  fill  the  Gtaaary  with  needful  Corn. 
Press  nectarous  Cyder  from  my  loaded  Trees, 
Print  the  sweet  Butter,  turn  the  Drying  Cheese 
Some  Books  we  read,  tho'  few  there  are  that  hit 
The  happy  Point  where  Wisdom  joins  with  Wit  \ 
That  set  fair  Virtue  naked  to  our  View, 
And  teach  us  what  is  decent,  what  is  true. 
The  Friend  sincere,  and  honest  Man,  with  Joy 
Treating  or  treated  oft  our  Time  employ. 
Our  Table  next,  Meals  temperate  ;  and  our  Door 
Op'ning  spontaneous  to  the  bashful  Poor. 
Free  from  the  bitter  Rage  of  Party  Zeal, 
All  those  we  love  who  seek  the  publick  Weal. 

rio 


fRicbarD  for  1746  161 

Nor  blindly  follow  Superstitious  I/>ve, 
Which  cheats  deluded  Mankind  o'er  and  o'er. 
Not  over  righteous,  quite  beyond  the  Rule, 
Conscience  perplext  by  every  canting  Tool. 
Nor  yet  when  Folly  hides  the  dubious  I^ine, 
When  Good  and  Bad  the  blended  Colours  join  ; 
Rush  indiscreetly  down  the  dangerous  Steep, 
And  plunge  uncertain  in  the  darksome  Deep. 
Cautious,  if  right ;  if  wrong  resolv'd  to  part 
The  Inmate  Snake  that  folds  about  the  Heart. 
Observe  the  Mean,  the  Motive,  and  the  End, 
Mending  our  selves,  or  striving  still  to  mend. 
Our  Souls  sincere,  our  Purpose  fair  and  free, 
Without  Vain  Glory  or  Hypocrisy  : 
Thankful  if  well ;  if  ill,  we  kiss  the  Rod  ; 
Resign  with  Hope,  and  put  our  Trust  in  God. 

JANUARY. 

Nothing  exceeds  in  Ridicule,  no  doubt 

A  Fool  in  Fashion,  but  a  Fool  that 's  out; 

His  Passion  for  Absurdity  's  so  strong 

He  cannot  bear  a  Rival  in  the  Wrong. 

Tho'  wrong  the  Mode,  comply  ;  more  sense  is  shewn 

In  wearing  others  Follies  than  your  own. 

If  what  is  out  of  Fashion  most  you  prize 

Methinks  you  should  endeavour  to  be  wise. 

When  the  well  's  dry,  we  know  the  worth  of  water. 

He  that  whines  for  Glass  without  G 
Take  away  ~L,  and  that 's  he. 

FEBRUARY. 

Man  's  rich  with  little,  were  his  Judgement  true, 
Nature  is  frugal,  and  her  wants  are  few  ; 
Those  few  Wants  aiiswer'd  bring-  sincere  Delights 
II 


162  poor  IRlcbaro  for  1746 

But  Fools  creat  themselves  new  Appetites. 
Fancy  and  Pride  seek  Things  at  Vast  Expence, 
Which  relish  not  to  Reason  nor  to  Sense 
l,ike  Cats  in  Air-pumps,  to  subsist  we  strive 
On  Joys  to  thin  to  keep  the  Soul  alive. 

A  good  Wife  &  Health,  is  a  Man's  best  Wealth. 
A  quarrelsome  Man  has  no  good  Neighbours. 

MARCH. 

O  sacred  Solitude  !  divine  Retreat ! 
Choice  of  the  Prudent !  Envy  of  the  Great  1 
By  thy  pure  Stream,  or  in  thy  waving  Shade, 
We  court  fair  Wisdom,  that  celestial  Maid : 
The  genuine  Offspring  of  her  lov'd  Embrace 
(Strangers  on  Earth)  are  Innocence  and  Peace. 
There  blest  with  Health,  with  Business  unperplaxt, 
This  lyife  we  relish,  and  insure  the  next. 

Wide  will  wear,  but  narrow  will  tear. 
Silks  andsattins  put  out  the  kitchen  fire. 
Vice  knows  she  's  ugly,  so  puts  on  her  Mask. 

APRIL. 

Zara  resembles  JEjtna  crown 'd  with  snows, 
Without  she  freezes,  and  within  she  glows  ; 
Twice  e'er  the  Sun  descends,  with  Zeal  inspir'd 
From  the  vain  Converse  of  the  World  retir'd, 
She  reads  the  Psalms  and  Chapters  of  the  Day, 

In some  leud  Novel,  new  Romance,  or  Play, 

Thus  gloomy  Zara,  with  a  solemji  Grace, 
Deceives  Mankind,  and  hides  behind  her  Face. 

It  's  the  esiest  Thing  in  the  World  for  a  Man  to  declevs 
Jimself. 


poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1746  163 

Women  &  Wine 
Game  &  Deceit 
Make  the  Wealth  small 
And  the  Wants  great 

All  Mankind  are  beholden  to  him  that  is  kind  to  the 
Good. 


Pleasures  are  few,  and  fewer  we  enjoy  ; 
Pleasure  like  Quicksilver,  is  bright  and  coy  ; 
We  try  to  grasp  it  with  our  utmost  skill, 
Still  it  eludes  us,  and  it  glitters  still. 
If  seiz'd  at  last,  compute  your  mighty  Gains 
What  is  it  but  rank  Poison  in  your  Veins. 

A  Plowman  on  his  I^egs  is  higher  than  a  Gentleman  on 
his  Knees. 

Virtue  and  Happiness  are  Mother  and  Daughter. 

The  generous  Mind  least  regards  Money  and  yet  most 
feels  the  Want  of  it. 

For  one  poor  Man  there  are  an  hundred  indigent. 

JUNE. 

What 's  Man's  Reward  for  all  his  Care  and  Toil? 
But  One  ;  a  female  Friends  endearing  Smile  : 
A  tender  Smile,  our  Sorrows  only  Balm, 
And  in  life's  Tempest  the  sad  Sailors  calm. 
How  have  I  seen  a  gentle  Nymph  draw  nigh, 
Peace  in  her  Air,  Persuasion  in  her  Kye  ; 
Victorious  Tenderness,  it  all  o'ercame, 
Husbands  look'd  mild,  and  Savages  grew  tame. 

Dost  thou  love  lyife  ?  Then  do  not  squander  Time  ;  for 
that 's  the  Stuff  I/Ife  is  made  of. 

Good  Sense  is  a  Thing  all  need,  few  have,  and  none 
think  they  want. 


164  poor  TRicbarfc  for  1746 

JULY. 

Who  taught  the  rapid  Winds  to  fly  so  fast, 
Or  shakes  the  Centre  with  his  Western  Blast  ? 
Who  from  the  Skies  can  a  whole  Deluge  pour  ? 
Who  Strikes  thro'  Nature,  with  the  solemn  Roar 
Of  dreadful  Thunder,  points  it  where  to  fall 
And  in  fierce  lightning  wraps  the  flying  Ball  ? 
Not  he  who  trembles  at  the  darted  Fires, 
Falls  at  the  Sound,  and  in  the  Flash  expires. 

What 's  proper  is  becoming :  See  the  Blacksmith  with 
his  white  Silk  Apron  ! 
The  Tongue  is  ever  turning  to  the  aching  tooth. 

Want  of  Care  does  us  more  damage  than  Want  of 
Knowledge . 

AUGUST. 

Can  Gold  colour  Passion,  or  make  Reason  shine, 
Can  we  dig  Peace  or  Wisdom  from  the  mine  ? 
Wisdom  to  Gold  prefer,  for  't  is  much  less 
To  make  our  fortune,  than  our  Happiness. 
That  Happiness  which  Great  Ones  often  see, 
With  Rage  and  Wonder,  in  a  low  Degree, 
Themselves  unblest.    The  Poor  are  only  poor 
But  what  are  they  v/ho  droop  amid  their  Store  ? 

Take  Courage  Mortal ;  Death  can't  banish  thee  out  of 
the  Universe. 

The  Sting  of  a  Reproach  is  the  Truth  of  it. 
Do  me  the  favour  to  deny  me  at  once . 


Can  Wealth  give  Happiness  ?  look  round  and  see  ? 
What  gay  Distress  !  What  splendid  Misery  1 
Whatever  Fortune  lavishly  can  pour 
The  Mind  annihilates,  and  calls  for  more. 


poor  IRicbaro  for  1746  165 

Wealth  is  a  Cheat,  believe  not  what  it  says  ; 
Greatly  it  promises,  but  never  pays. 
Misers  may  startle,  but  they  shall  be  told, 
That  Wealth  is  Bankrupt,  and  insolvent  Gold. 

The  most  exquisite  Folly  is  made   of  Wisdom  spun 
too  fine. 
A  life  of  leisure  and  a  life  of  laziness  are  two  things. 

OCTOBER. 

Some  ladies  are  too  beauteous  to  be  wed, 

For  where  's  the  Man  that 's  worthy  of  their  Bed? 

If  no  Disease  reduce  her  Pride  before, 

iMvinia  will  be  ravisht  at  three  score. 

Then  she  submits  to  venture  in  the  Dark, 

And  nothing,  now,  is  wanting but  her  spark. 

Mad  Kings  and  mad  Bulls  are  not  to  be  held  by  treaties 
and  packthread. 

Changing  Countries  or  Beds,  cures  neither  a  bad 
Manager,  nor  a  Fever. 

NOVEMBER. 

There  are,  who,  tossing  on  the  Bed  of  Vice, 
For  Flattery's  Opiate  give  the  highest  price  ; 
Yet  from  the  saving  Hand  of  Friendship  turn, 
Her  Med'cines  dread,  her  generous  offers  Spurns. 
Deserted  Greatness  !  who  but  pities  thee  ? 
By  Crowds  encompass'd,  thou  no  Friend  canst  see 
Or  should  kind  Truth  invade  thy  tender  Ear 
We  pity  still,  for  thou  no  Truth  can  bear. 

A  true  great  Man  will  neither  trample  on  a  Worm  nor 
sneak  to  an  F,mperor. 

Ni  ffyddra  Haw  dyn  er  gwneithr  da  idd  ei  hun.  * 
*  Our  hand  has  no  stain  if  it  work  to  our  gain, 


166  ipoor  TRicbarD  for  1746 

DECEMBER. 

What 's  Female  Beauty,  but  an  Air  divine, 
Thro'  which  the  Mind's  all  gentle  Graces  shine  ? 
They,  like  the  Sun,  irradiates  all  between  ; 
The  Body  charms,  because  the  Soul  is  seen 
Hence  Men  are  often  Captives  to  a  Face, 
They  know  not  why,  of  no  peculiar  Grace. 
Some  Forms  tho'  bright,  no  mortal  Man  can  bear; 
Some  none  resist,  tho'  not  exceeding-  fair. 

Tim  and  his  Handsaw  are  good  in  their  Place, 
Tho'  not  fit  for  preaching  or  shaving  a  face. 

Half  Hospitality  opens  his  Door  and  shuts  up  hir 
.\>utitenance. 


From  Earth  to  Heav'n  when  Justice  fled 
The  I,aws  decided  in  her  Stead 
For  Heav'n  to  F,arth  should  she  return 
'w* Dryers  might  beg,  and  I^aw  books  burn. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1747. 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

This  is  the  15th  Time  I  have  entertain 'd 
thee  with  my  annual  Productions  ;  I  hope  to 
thy  profit  as  well  as  mine.  For  besides  the  as 
tronomical  Calculations,  and  other  Things  usu 
ally  contain' d  in  Almanacks,  which  have  their 
daily  Use  indeed  while  the  Year  continues,  but 
then  become  of  no  Value,  I  have  constantly 
interspers'd  moral  Sentences,  prudent  Maxims, 
and  wise  Sayings,  many  of  them  containing 
much  good  Sense  in  very  few  Words,  and  there 
fore  apt  to  leave  strong  and  lasting  Impressions 
on  the  Memory  of  young  Persons,  whereby  they 
may  receive  Benefit  as  long  as  they  live,  when 
both  Almanack  and  Almanac-maker  have  been 
long  thrown  by  and  forgotten.  If  I  now  and 


i68  poor  IRicbarD  for  1747 

then  insert  a  Joke  or  two,  that  seem  to  have 
little  in  them,  my  Apology  is,  that  such  may 
have  their  Use,  since  perhaps  for  their  Sake 
light  airy  Minds  peruse  the  rest,  and  so  are 
struck  by  somewhat  of  more  Weight  and  Mo 
ment.  The  Verses  on  the  Heads  of  the  Months 
are  also  design'd  to  have  the  same  Tendency. 
I  need  not  tell  thee  that  many  of  them  are  of  my 
own  Making.  If  thou  hast  any  Judgement  in 
Poetry,  thou  wilt  easily  discern  the  Workman 
from  the  Bungler.  I  know  as  well  as  thee,  that 
I  am  no  Poet  born,  and  it  is  a  Trade  I  never 
learnt,  nor  indeed  could  learn.  If  I  make 
Verses  't  is  in  Spight — Of  Nature  and  my  Stars, 
I  write.  Why  then  should  I  give  my  Readers 
bad  Lines  of  my  own,  when  good  Ones  of  other 
Peoples  are  so  plenty  ?  'T  is  methinks  a  poor 
Excuse  for  the  bad  Entertainment  of  Guests 
that  the  Food  we  set  before  them,  tho'  coarse 
and  ordinary,  is  of  one's  own  raising,  off  ones 
own  Plantation,  &c  when  there  is  Plenty  of 
what  is  ten  times  better,  to  be  had  in  the  Mar 
ket. — On  the  contrary,  I  assure  ye,  my  Friends, 
that  I  have  procur'dthe  best  I  could  for  ye,  and 
much  good  may  't  do  ye. 

I  cannot  omit  this  Opportunity  of  making 
honourable  Mention  of  the  late  deceased  Orna 
ment  and  Head  of  our  Profession,  Mr.  Jacob 
Taylor,  who  for  upwards  of  40  Years  (with  some 


poor  IRicbaro  for  1747  169 

few  Intermissions  only)  supply'd  the  good  peo 
ple  of  this  and  the  neighboring  Colonies  with 
the  most  compleat  Bphemeris  and  most  accu 
rate  Calculations  that  have  hitherto  appear' d  in 
America.  -  -  -  -  he  was  an  ingenious  Mathe 
matician,  as  well  as  an  expert  and  skilful  As 
tronomer,  and  moreover,  no  mean  Philosopher, 
but  what  is  more  than  all,  He  was  a  PIOUS  and 
HONEST  Man.  Requiescat  in  pace. 

I  am  thy  poor  Friend,  to  serve  thee, 

R.  SAUNDERS. 

JANUARY. 

To  show  the  Strength,  and  Infamy  of  Pride, 

By  all 't  is  follow'd  and  by  all  deny'd. 

What  Members  are  there,  which  at  once  pursue 

Praise,  and  Glory  to  contemn  it  too  ? 

To  praise  himself  Vincenna  knows  a  Shame, 

And  therefore  lays  a  Strategem  for  Fame  ; 

Makes  his  Approach  in  Modesty's  Disguise, 

To  win  Applause,  and  takes  it  by  Surprise. 

Strive  to  be  the  greatest  Man  in  your  Country,  and 
you  may  be  disappointed  ;  Strive  to  be  the  best  and  you 
may  succeed :  He  may  well  win  the  race  that  runs  by 
himself. 

FEBRUARY. 

See  Wealth  and  Pozv'r  !      Say,  what  can  be  more  great? 

Nothing but  Merit  in  a  low  Estate. 

To  Virtue's  humblest  Son  let  none  prefer. 
Vice,  tho'  a  Croesus  or  a  Conquerer 


i?o  poor  IRicbarD  for  1747 

Shall  Men,  like  Figures,  pass  for  high,  or  base 
Slight,  or  important,  only  by  their  Place  ? 
Titles  are  Marks  of  honest  Men,  and  Wise  ; 
The  Fool,  or  Knave  that  wears  a  Title,  lies. 

'T  is  a  strange  Forest  that  has  no  rotten  Wood  in  't 
And  a  strange  Kindred  that  all  are  good  in  't. 

None  know  the  unfortunate,  and  the  fortunate  do  not 
know  themselves. 

MARCH. 

Celestial  PATIENCE  !  How  dost  thou  defeat 
The  Foes  proud  Menace,  and  elude  his  Hate  ? 
While  Passion  takes  his  Part,  betrays  our  Peace  ; 
To  Death  and  Torture  swells  each  slight  Disgrace  ; 
By  not  opposing,  Thou  dust  111  destroy, 
And  wear  thy  conquer 'd  Sorrows  into  Joy. 

There  's  a  time  to  Wink  as  well  as  to  see. 

Honest  Tom  !  you  may  trust  him  with  a  house  full  of 
untold  Milstones. 

There  is  no  Man  so  bad  but  he  secretly  respects  the 
Good. 


RELIGIOUS  Force  divine  is  best  dfsplay'd, 

In  a  Desertion  of  all  human  Aid  : 

To  succour  in  Extreams  is  her  Delight, 

And  cheer  the  Heart  when  Terror  strikes  the  Sight. 

We,  disbelieving  our  own  Senses,  gaze 

And  wonder  what  a  Mortals  Heart  can  raise, 

To  smile  in  Anguish,  triumph  in  his  Grief, 

And  comfort  those  who  come  to  bring  Relief. 

When  there  's  more  Malice  shown  than  Matter  : 
On  the  Writer  falls  the  Satyr. 


poor  IRicbarfc  for  1747  171 

MAY. 

Girls,  mark  my  Words ;  and  know,  for  Men  of  Sense, 

Your  strongest  Charms  are  native  Innocence. 

Shun  all  deceiving  Arts  ;  the  Heart  that  's  gain'd 

By  Craft  alone,  can  ne'er  be  long  retain'd. 

Arts  on  the  Mind,  like  paint  upon  the  Face, 

Fright  him,  thats  worth  your  I^ove,  from  your  Embrace 

In  simple  Manners  all  the  Secret  lies 

Be  kind  and  virtuous,  you  '11  be  blest  and  wise. 

Courage  would  fight,  but  Discretion  won't  let  him. 
Delicate  Dick  !  whispered  the  Proclamation. 
Cornelious  ought  to  be  Tacitus. 

JUNE. 

O,  form'd  Heav'n's  Dictates  nobly  to  rehearse, 
PREACHER  DIVINE  !  accept  the  grateful  Verse. 
Thou  hast  the  Power,  the  harden'd  Heart  to  warm, 
To  grieve,  to  raise,  to  terrify,  to  charm  ; 
To  fix  the  Soul  on  God,  to  teach  the  Mind 
To  know  the  Dignity  of  Human  Kind  ; 
By  stricter  Rules  well-govern'd  lyife  to  scan, 
And  practise  o'er  the  Angel  in  the  Man. 

Pride  and  the  Gout  are  seldom  cur'd  throughout. 

We  are  not  so  sensible  of  the  greatest  Health  as  of  the 
least  Sickness. 

A  good  Example  is  the  best  Sermon. 

JULY. 

Men  drop  so  fast,  ere  L,ife's  mid  Stage  we  tread, 
Few  know  so  many  Friends  alive  as  dead 
Yet,  as  immortal,  in  our  uphill  Chace, 
We  press  coy  Fortune  with  slacken'd  Pace. 


i?2  ipoor  IRicbarD  for  1747 

Our  ardent  I,abours  for  the  Toy  we  seek, 
Join  Night  to  Day,  and  Sunday  to  the  Week 
Between  Satiety  and  fierce  Desire. 

A  Father  's  a  Treasure  ;  a  Brother  's  a  Comfort  ;  f 
Friend  is  both. 

Despair  ruins  some,  Presumption  many. 

A  quiet  Conscience  sleeps  in  Thunder,  but  Rest  and. 
Guilt  live  far  asunder. 

AUGUST. 

A.  decent  Competence  we  fully  taste  ; 
It  strikes  our  Sense,  and  gives  a  constant  Feast : 
More,  we  perceive  by  Dint  of  Thought  alone  ; 
The  Rich  must  labour  to  possess  their  own, 
To  feel  their  great  Abundance  ;  and  request 
Their  humble  Friends  to  help  them  to  be  blest ; 
To  see  their  Treasures,  hear  their  Glory  told, 
And  aid  the  wretched  Impotence  of  Gold. 

He  that  won't  be  counsell'd,  can't  be  help'd. 

Craft  must  be  at  charge  for  clothes,  but  Truth  can  go 
naked. 

Write  Injuries  in  Dust,  Benefits  in  Marble. 

SEPTEMBER. 

But  some,  good  Souls,  and  touch'd  with  Warmth  divine. 

Give  Gold  a  Price  and  teach  its  Beams  to  Shine 

All  hoarded  Treasures  they  repute  a  lyOad 

Nor  think  their  Wealth  their  own  till  well  bestow'd. 

Grand  Reservoirs  of  public  Happiness, 

Thro  secret  Streams  diffusively  they  bless  . 

And  while  their  Bounties  glide  conceal'd  from  View, 

Relieve  our  Wants,  and  spare  our  Blushes  too. 


floor  IRfcbarfc  for  1747  173 

What  is  Serving  God  ?    'T  is  doing  Good  to  Man. 
What  maintains  one  Vice  would  bring  up  two  children. 
Many  have  been  ruin'd  by  buying  good  pennyworths 

OCTOBER 

One  to  destroy,  is  Murder  by  the  I,aw, 
And  Gibbers  keep  the  uplifted  Hand  in  Awe 
To  murder  Thousands,  takes  a  specious  Name 
War's  glorious  Art,  and  gives  immortal  Fame. 

0  great  Alliance  !  O  divine  Renown  ! 

With  Death  and  Pestilence  to  share  the  Crown  ! 
When  Men  extol  a  wild  Destroyer's  Name 
Earth's  Builder  and  Preserver  they  blaspheme. 

Better  is  a  little  with  content  than  much  with  conten 
tion. 

A  Slip  of  the  Foot  you  may  soon  recover, 
But  a  Slip  of  the  Tongue  you  may  never  get  over. 
What  signifies  your  Patience,  if  you  can't  find  it  when 
you  want  it. 

NOVEMBER. 

1  envy  none  their  Pageantry  and  Show  ; 
I  envy  none  the  Gilding  of  their  Woe. 

Give  me,  indulgent  Heav'n,  with  Mind  serene 
And  guiltless  Heart,  to  range  the  Sylvan  Scene. 
No  splendid  Poverty,  no  smiling  Care, 
No  well-bred  Hate,  or  servile  Grandeur  there. 
There  pleasing  Objects  useful  Thought  suggest, 
The  Sense  is  ravish 'd  and  the  Soul  is  blest ; 
On  every  Thorn  delightful  Wisdom  grows, 
In  every  Rill  a  sweet  Instruction  flows. 

Time  enough  always  proves  little  enough. 
It  is  wise  not  to  seek  a  Secret  and  Honest  not  to  re 
veal  it. 


i?4  poor  IRicbaro  for  1747 

A  Mob  's  a  Monster  ;  Heads  enough  but  no  Brains. 
The  Devil  sweetens  Poison  with  Honey. 

DECEMBER. 

Old  Age  will  come,  Disease  may  come  before, 
Fifteen  is  full  as  mortal  as  Threescore. 
Thy  Fortuhe  and  thy  Charms  may  soon  decay ; 
But  grant  these  Fugitives  prolong  their  Stay 
Their  basis  totters,  their  Foundation  shakes, 
lyife  that  supports  them,  in  a  Moment  breaks  : 
Then  wrought  into  the  Soul,  let  Virtue  shine, 
The  Ground  eternal,  as  the  work  divine. 

He  that  cannot  bear  with  other  Peoples  Passions,  can 
not  govern  his  own. 

He  that  by  the  Plough  would  thrive,  himself  must 
either  hold  or  drive. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1748. 


PREFACE. 

KIND  READER, 

The  favourable  Reception  my  annual 
Labours  have  met  with  from  the  Publick  these 
15  Years  past,  has  engaged  me  in  Gratitude  to 
endeavour  some  Improvement  of  my  Almanack. 
And  since  my  Friend  Taylor  is  no  more  whose 
Ephemerides  so  long  and  so  agreeably  serv'd 
and  entertained  these  Provinces,  I  have  taken 
the  liberty  to  imitate  his  well-known  Method, 
and  have  given  two  Pages  for  each  Month  ; 
which  affords  me  Room  for  several  valuable 
Additions,  as  will  best  appear  on  Inspection 
and  Comparison  with  former  Almanacks.  Yet 
I  have  not  so  far  followed  his  Method,  as  not  to 
continue  my  own  where  I  thought  it  preferable  ; 
and  thus  my  Book  is  increased  to  a  Size  beyond 
his,  and  contains  much  more  Matter. 


176  poor  IRfcbarfc  for  174S 

Hail  Night  serene  !  thro'  Thee  where'er  we  turn 
Our  wondering  Eyes,  Heaven's  Lamps  profusely  burn. 
And  Stars  unnumbered  all  the  Sky  adorn. 
But  lo  ! — what 's  that  I  see  appear  ? 
It  seems  far  off  a  pointed  flame  ; 
From  Earthwards  too  the  shining  Meteor  came  : 

How  swift  it  climbs  th'  etherial  Space  1 

And  now  it  traverses  each  Sphere, 
And  seems  some  knowing  Mind,  familiar  to  the  place. 
Dame,  hand  my  Glass,  the  longest,  strait  prepare  ; — 
'  T is  he—lt  is  TAYLOR'S  Soul  that  travels  there. 
O  stay  !  thou  happy  Spirit,  stay, 

A  nd  lead  me  on  thro1  all  the  unbeaten  Wilds  of  Day  ; 
Where  Planets  in  pure  Streams  of  Ether  driven, 

Swim  thro'  the  blue  expanse  ofHeaifn. 
There  let  me,  thy  Companion,  stray 

From  Orb  to  Orb,  and  now  behold 

Unnumbered  Suns ,  all  Seas  of  molten  Gold, 
And  trace  each  Comet' s  wandering  Way. 

Souse  down  into  Prose  again,  my  Muse ;  for 
Poetry  is  no  more  thy  element,  than  Air  is  of 
the  Flying-Fish  ;  whose  Flights,  like  thine,  are 
therefore  always  short  and  heavy. — 

We  complain  sometimes  of  hard  Winters  in 
tliis  Country  ;  but  our  Winters  will  appear  as 
Summers,  when  compared  with  those  that  some 
of  our  Countrymen  undergo  in  the  most  North 
ern  British  Colony  on  this  Continent,  which  is 
that  upon  Churchill  River,  in  Hudson's  Bay, 
Lat.  58d.  56m.  Long,  from  London  94d.  5om. 
West.  Captain  Middleton,  a  member  of  the 
Royal  Society,  who  had  made  many  Voyages 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1748  177 

thither,  and  winter'd  there  1741-2,  when  he 
was  in  search  of  the  North-West  Passage  to 
the  South-Sea,  gives  an  account  of  it  to  that 
Society,  from  which  I  have  extracted  these 
Particulars,  viz. 

The  Hares,  Rabbits,  Foxes,  and  Partridges, 
in  September  and  the  beginning  of  October, 
change  their  Colour  to  a  snowy  White,  and  con 
tinue  white  till  the  following  Spring. 

The  Lakes  and  standing  Waters,  which  are 
not  above  10  or  12  Feet  deep,  are  frozen  to  the 
Ground  in  Winter,  and  the  Fishes  therein  all 
perish.  Yet  in  Rivers  near  the  Sea,  and  Lakes 
of  a  greater  depth  than  10  or  12  Feet,  Fishes 
are  caught  all  the  Winter,  by  cutting  holes 
thro'  the  Ice,  and  therein  putting  Lines  and 
Hooks.  As  soon  as  the  Fish  are  brought  into 
the  open  Air,  they  instantly  freeze  stiff. 

Beef,  Pork,  Mutton,  and  Venison,  kill'd  in 
the  beginning  of  the  Winter,  are  preserved  by 
the  Frost  for  6  or  7  Months,  entirely  free  from 
Putrefaction.  Likewise  Geese,  Partridges,  and 
other  Fowls,  kill'd  at  the  same  Time,  and  kept 
with  their  Feathers  on  and  Guts  in,  are  pre- 
serv'd  by  the  PVost,  and  prove  good  Eating.  All 
kinds  of  Fish  are  preserv'd  in  the  same  Manner. 

In  large  Lakes  and  Rivers,  the  Ice  is  some 
times  broken  by  imprison 'd  Vapours  ;  and  the 
Rocks,  Trees.  Joists,  and  Rafters  of  our  Build- 
12 


i?8  poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1748 

ings,  are  burst  with  a  Noise  not  less  terrible 
than  the  firing  of  many  Guns  togetiter.  The 
Rocks  which  are  split  by  the  Frost,  are  heaved 
up  in  great  Heaps,  leaving  large  Cavities  be- 
hind.  If  Beer  or  Water  be  left  even  in  Copper 
Pots  by  the  Bed-side,  the  Pots  will  be  split 
before  Morning.  Bottles  of  strong  Beer,  Brandy, 
strong  Brine,  Spirits  of  Wine,  set  out  in  the 
open  Air  for  3  or  4  Hours,  freeze  to  solid  Ice. 
The  Frost  is  never  out  of  the  Ground,  how  deep 
is  not  certain  ;  but  on  digging  10  or  12  Feet 
down  in  the  two  Summer  Months,  it  has  been 
found  hard  frozen. 

All  the  water  they  use  for  Cooking,  Brewing, 
&c.  is  melted  Snow  and  Ice  ;  no  Spring  is  yet 
found  free  from  freezing,  tho'  dug  ever  so  deep 
down. — All  Waters  inland,  are  frozen  fast  by 
the  Beginning  of  October,  and  continue  so  to 
the  Middle  of  May. 

The  Walls  of  the  Houses  are  of  Stone,  two 
Feet  thick  ;  the  windows  very  small,  with  thick 
wooden  Shutters,  which  are  close  shut  18  Hours 
every  Day  in  Winter.  In  the  cellars  they  put 
their  Wines,  Brandies,  &c.  Four  large  Fires 
are  made  every  Day,  in  greats  Stoves  to  Warm 
the  Rooms.  As  soon  as  the  Wood  is  burnt 
down  to  a  Coal,  the  Tops  of  the  Chimnies  are 
close  stopped,  with  an  Iron  Cover ;  this  keeps 
the  Heat  in  but  almost  stifles  the  People.  And 


fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1748  179 

notwithstanding  this,  in  4  or  5  Hours  After 
the  Fire  is  out,  the  inside  of  the  Walls  and 
Bed-places  will  be  2  or  3  Inches  thick  with 
Ice,  which  is  every  Morning  cut  away  with  a 
Hatchet.  Three  or  Four  Times  a  Day,  Iron 
Shot,  of  24  Pounds  Weight,  are  made  red  hot, 
and  hung  up  in  the  Windows  of  their  Apart 
ments,  to  moderate  the  Air  that  comes  in  at  the 
Crevices  ;  yet  this  with  a  Fire  kept  burning  the 
greatest  Part  of  24  Hours,  will  not  prevent  Beer, 
Wine,  Ink,  etc.  from  Freezing. 

For  their  Winter  Dress,  a  Man  makes  use  of 
three  Pair  of  Socks,  of  coarse  Blanketting,  or 
DufFeld,  for  the  Feet,  with  a  Pair  of  Deerskin 
Shoes  over  them  ;  two  pair  of  thick  English 
stockings,  and  a  pair  of  Cloth  Stockings  upon 
them  ;  Breeches  lined  with  Flannel ;  two  or 
three  English  Jackets,  and  a  Fur,  or  Leather 
Gown  over  them  ;  a  large  Beaver  Cac,  double, 
to  come  over  the  Face  and  Shoulders,  and  a 
Cloth  of  Blanketting  under  the  Chin  ;  with 
Yarn  Gloves,  and  a  large  pair  of  Beaver  Mit- 
tins,  hanging  down  from  the  Shoulders  before, 
to  put  the  Hands  in,  reaching  up  as  far  as  the 
Blbows.  Yet  notwithstanding  this  warm  Cloth 
ing,  those  that  stir  abroad  when  any  Wind 
blows  from  the  Northward,  are  dreadfully 
frozen ;  some  have  their  Hands,  Arms,  and 
Face  blistered  and  froze  in  a  dreadful  Manner, 


i8o  ipoor  IRtcbarfc  for  1748 

the  Skin  coming  off  soon  after  they  enter  a 
warm  House,  and  some  lose  their  Toes.  And 
keeping  House  or  lying-in  for  the  cure  of  these 
Disorders,  brings  on  the  Scurvey,  which  many 
die  of,  and  few  are  free  from  ;  nothing  prevent 
ing  it  but  Bxercise  and  Stirring  Abroad. 

The  Fogs  and  Mists,  brought  by  northerly 
Winds  in  Winter,  appear  visible  to  the  naked 
Eye  to  be  Icicles  innumerable,  as  small  as  fine 
Hairs  and  pointed  as  sharp  as  Needles.  These 
Icicles  lodge  in  their  Clothes,  and  if  their  Faces 
and  Hands  are  uncover'd,  presently  raise  Blis 
ters  as  white  as  a  Linen  Cloth,  and  as  hard  as 
Horn.  Yet  if  they  immediately  turn  their  Back 
to  the  Weather,  and  can  bear  a  hand  out  of  the 
Mitten  and  with  it  rub  the  blister' d  Part  for  a 
small  Time,  they  sometimes  bring  the  Skin  to 
its  former  State  ;  if  not  they  make  the  best  of 
their  way  to  a  Fire,  bathe  the  part  in  hot  Water, 
and  thereby  dissipate  the  Humours  raised  by 
the  frozen  Air  ;  otherwise  the  Skin  wou'd  be  off 
in  a  short  Time,  with  much  hot,  serous,  watry 
Matter,  coming  from  under  along  with  the 
Skin  ;  and  this  happens  to  some  almost  every 
time  they  go  Abroad,  for  5  or  6  Months  in  the 
Winter,  so  extreme  cold  is  the  Air,  when  the 

Wind  blows   anything  strong. Thus 

far  Captain  Middleton.  And  now,  my  tender 
Reader,  thou  that  shudderest  when  the  wind 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1748  181 

blows  a  little  at  N-West,  and  criest,  '  Tis  ex- 
trrrrrream  cohohold!  '  Tis  terrrrrrible  cohold  ! 
what  dost  thou  think  of  removing  to  that  de 
lightful  Country  !  Or  dost  thou  not  rather 
choose  to  stay  in  Pennsylvania,  thanking  God 
that  He  has  caused  thy  Lines  to  fall  in  pleasant 

places. 

I  am, 
Thy  Friend  to  Serve  thee, 

R.    SAUNDERS. 

JANUARY. 

Luke,  on  his  dying  Bed,  embraced  his  Wife, 
And  begged  one  Favour  :    Swear,  my  dearest  Life, 
Swear,  if  you  love  me,  never  more  to  wed, 
Nor  take  a  second  Husband  to  your  Bed. 
Anne  dropt  a  Tear.    You  know,  my  dear,  says  she. 
Your  least  Desires  have  still  been  Laws  to  me  ; 
But  from  this  Oath,  I  beg  you  'd  me  excuse  ; 
For  I  'm  already  promised  ioj—n  Jf—s. 

Robbers  must  exalted  be, 
Small  ones  on  the  Gallow-Tree, 
While  greater  ones  ascend  to  Thrones, 
But  what  is  that  to  thee  or  me  ? 

Lost  time  is  never  found  again. 

FEBRUARY. 

Don't  after  foreign  Food  and  Clothing  roam, 
But  learn  to  eat  and  wear  what 's  rais'd  at  Home,, 
Kind  Nature  suits  each  Clime  with  what  it  wants. 
Sufficient  to  subsist  th '  Inhabitants. 


182  poor  IRicbaro  tor  1748 

Observing  this,  we  less  impair  our  Health, 
And  by  this  Rule  we  more  increase  our  Wealth 
Our  Minds  a  great  Advantage  also  gain, 
And  more  sedate  and  uncorrupt  remain. 

To  lead  a  virtuous  lyife,  my  Friends, 

And  get  to  Heaven  in  Season, 
You  've  just  so  much  more  Need  of  Faith, 

As  you  have  less  of  Reason. 


The  Sun ,  whose  unexhausted  I/ight 
Does  iyife  and  Heat  to  Karth  convey ; 

The  Moon,  who,  Regent  of  the  Night, 
Shines  with  delegated  Ray  ; 

The  Stars,  which  constant  seem  to  Sight, 
And  Stars  that  regularly  stray  : 

All  these  God's  plastick  Will  from  Nothing  brought 

Assign 'd  thier  Stations,  and  thier  Courses  taught. 

The  Heathens  when  they  dy'd,  went  to  Bed  without  a 
Candle. 

Knaves  &  Nettles  are  akin  ;  stroak  'em  kindly,  yet 
they  '11  sting. 

APRIL. 

On  Education  all  our  L,ives  depend  ; 
And  few  to  that,  too  few,  with  Care  attend  : 
Soon  as  Mamma  permits  her  darling  Joy 
To  quit  her  Knee,  and  trusts  at  School  her  Boy, 
O,  touch  him  not,  whate'er  he  does  is  right, 
His  Spirit  's  tender,  tho'  his  Parts  are  bright. 
Thus  all  the  Bad  he  can,  he  learns  at  School, 
Does  what  he  will,  and  grows  a  lusty  Fool. 

Life  with  Fools  consists  in  Drinking  ;  Vith  the  wise 
Man,  Living's  Thinking. 
Eilen  thut  felten  gut. 


jpoor  TRicbarD  tor  1748  183 


Read  much  ;  the  Mind,  which  never  can  be  still, 
If  not  intent  on  Good,  is  prone  to  111. 
And  where  bright  Thoughts,  or  Reas'nings  just  you  find, 
Repose  them  careful  in  your  inmost  Mind. 
To  deck  his  Chloe's  bosom  thus  the  Swain 
With  pleasing  toil  surveys  th'  enammel'd  Plain, 
With  Care  selects  each  fragrant  flow'r  he  meets, 
And  forms  one  Garland  of  thier  mingled  sweets. 

Sell-cheap  kept  Shop  on  Goodwin  Sands,  and  yet  had 
Store  of  Custom. 

Liberality  is  not  giving  much,  but  giving  wisely. 

Finikin  Dick,  curs'd  with  nice  Taste,  Ne'er  meets 
with  good  Dinner,  half  starved  at  a  Feast. 


JUNE. 

Of  all  the  Charms  the  Female  Sex  desire, 
That  I^overs  doat  on,  and  that  friends  admire, 
Those  most  deserve  your  Wish  that  longest  last, 
Not  like  the  Bloom  of  Beauty,  quickly  past ; 
VIRTUE  the  Chief:    This  Men  and  Angels  prize, 
Above  the  finest  Shape  and  brightest  Eyes, 
By  this  alone,  untainted  Joys  we  find, 
As  large  and  as  immortal  as  the  Mind. 

Alas  !  that  Heroes  ever  were  made  ! 

The  Plague,  and  the  Hero,  are  both  of  a  Trade  ! 

Yet  the  Plague  spares  our  Goods,  which  the  Hero  does 

not ; 
So  the  Plague  take  such  Heroes,  and  let  thier  Fame 

rot. 

Q.  P.  D. 


1 84  ipoor  IRicbarD  for  1748 

JULY. 

When  great  Augustus  ruled  the  World  and  Rome, 
The  Cloth  he  wore  was  spun  and  wove  at  Home, 
His  EMPRESS  ply'd  the  Distaff  and  the  I^oom. 
Old  England's  I^aws  the  proudest  Beauty  name, 
When  single,  Spinster,  and  when  married,  Dame, 
For  Housewifery  is  Woman's  noblest  Fame. 
The  Wisest  household  Cares  to  Women  yield, 
A  large,  an  useful  and  a  grateful  Field. 

To  Friend,  lawyer,  Docter,  tell  plain  your  whole  Case  ; 
Nor  think  on  Bad  Matters  to  put  a  good  Face  : 
How  can  they  advise,  if  they  see  but  a  Part? 
'T  is  very  ill  driving  black  Hogs  in  the  dark. 

AUGUST. 

To  make  the  cleanly  Kitchen  send  up  Food, 
Not  costly  vain,  but  plentifully  Good. 
To  bid  the  Cellar's  fountain  never  fail, 
Of  sparkling  Cyder,  or  of  well-brew'd  Ale  ; 
To  buy,  to  pay,  to  blame,  or  to  approve. 
Within,  without,  below-stairs,  or  above ; 
To  shine  in  every  Corner  like  the  Sun, 
Still  working  every  where,  or  looking  on. 

Suspicion  may  be  no  fault,  but  showing  it  may  be 
a  great  one. 

He  that  's  secure  is  not  safe. 

The  second  Vice  is  I/ying  ;  the  first  is  running  in  Debt 

The  Muses  love  the  Morning. 

SEPTEMBER. 

One  glorious  Scene  of  Action  still  behind, 
The  Fair  that  likes  it  is  secure  to  find ; 


poor  IRicbaro  for  1748  185 

Cordials  and  Medicin's  gratis  to  dispense, 
A  beauteous  Instrument  of  Providence  ; 
Plaisters,  and  Salves,  and  Sores,  to  understand 
The  Surgeon's  Art  befits  a  tender  Hand, 
To  friendless  pain  unhop'd-for  Base  to  give, 
And  bid  the  Hungry  eat,  and  Sickly  live. 

Two  faults  of  one  a  Fool  will  make  ;  he  half  repairs, 
ihat  owns  does  forsake. 

Harry  Smatter,  has  a  Mouth  for  every  Matter. 
When  you  're  good  to  others,  you  are  best  to  yourself. 

OCTOBER. 

And  thus  if  we  may  credit  Fame's  Report, 
The  best  and  fairest  in  the  Gallic  Court, 
An  Hour  sometimes  in  Hospitals  employ, 
To  give  the  dying  Wretch  a  glimpse  of  Joy  ; 
T'  attend  the  Crouds  that  hopeless  Pangs  endure, 
And  soothe  the  Anguish  which  they  cannot  cure  ; 
To  clothe  the  Bare,  and  give  the  Btnpty  Food  ; 
As  bright  as  Guardian  Angels,  and  as  good. 

Half  Wits  talk  much  but  say  little. 

If  Jack  's  in  love,  he  's  no  Judge  of  Jill's  Beauty. 

Most  fools  think  they  are  only  ignorant, 

NOVEMBER. 

Nor  be  the  Husband  idle,  tho'  his  L,and 
Yields  plenteous  Crops  without  his  lab' ring  Hand ; 
Tho'  his  collected  Rent  his  Bags  supply, 
Or  honest,  careful  Slaves  scarce  need  his  Bye. 
lyet  him  whom  Choice  allures,  or  Fortunes  yields, 
To  live  amidst  his  own  extended  Fields, 
Diffuse  those  Blessings  which  from  Heav'n  he  found. 
In  copious  Streams  to  bless  the  World  around. 


i86  poor  IRicbarD  tor  1748 

Pardoning  the  Bad,  is  injuring  the  Good. 
He  is  not  well  bred,  that  cannot  bear  Ill-Breeding  ir 
others. 

DECEMBER. 

Open  to  all  his  hospitable  door, 
His  Tenants  Patron,  Parent  to  the  I  oor  : 
In  Friendships  dear,  discording  Neighbours  bind 
Aid  the  distress' d,  and  humanize  Mankind  : 
Wipe  off  the  sorrowing  Tear  from  Virtue's  Eyes. 
Bid  Honesty  oppress' d,  again  arise  : 
Protect  the  Widow,  give  the  Aged  Rest, 
And  blessing  live,  and  die  for  ever  blest. 

In  Christmas  feasting  pray  take  care  ; 
Let  not  your  table  be  a  Snare  ; 
But  with  the  Poor  God's  Bounty  share. 
Adieu,  my  Friends,  till  the  next  year. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1749. 


OMITTED.] 


JANUARY. 

Advice  to  Youth. 

First,  I,et  the  Fear  of  HIM  who  form'd  thy  Frame, 
Whose  Hand  sustain'd  thee  e'er  thou  hadst  a  Name, 
Who  brought  thee  into  Birth,  with  Pow'r  of  Thought 
Receptive  of  immortal  Good,  be  wrought 
Deep  in  thy  Soul.     His,  not  thy  own,  thou  art  ; 
To  him  resign  the  Empire  of  thy  Heart. 
His  Will,  thy  I,aw  ;  His  Service,  thy  Employ  ; 
His  Frown,  thy  Dread,  his  Smile  be  all  thy  Joy. 

Wealth  and  Content  are  not  always  Bed-fellows. 
Wise  Men  learn  by  others  harms  ;  Fools  by  their  own 

FEBRUARY. 

Wak'd  by  the  Call  of  Morn,  on  early  Knee, 
Ere  the  World  thrust  between  thy  God  and  thee, 
I,et  thy  pure  Oraisons,  ascending,  gain 
His  Ear,  and  Succour  of  his  Grace  obtain, 
In  Wants,  in  Toils,  in  Perils  of  the  Day, 
And  strong  Temptations  that  beset  thy  Way. 
Thy  best  Resolves  then  in  his  Strength  renew 
To  walk  in  Virtue's  Paths,  and  Vice  eschew. 


IBS  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1749 

The  end  of  Passion  is  the  beginning  of  Repentance. 
Words  may  shew  a  man's  Wit,  but  Actions  his  Mean 
ing. 

MARCH. 

To  HIM  intrust  thy  Slumbers,  and  prepare 
The  fragrant  Incense  of  thy  Bv'ning  Prayer. 
But  first  tread  back  the  Day,  with  Search  severe, 
And  Conscience,  chiding  or  applauding,  hear. 
Review  each  Step  ;  Where,  acting,  did  I  err  f 
Omitting,  where  f    Guilt  either  Way  infer. 
Labour  this  Point,  and  while  thy  Frailties  last, 
Still  let  each  following  Day  correct  the  last. 

'T  is  a  well  spent  penny  that  saves  a  groat. 
Many  Foxes  grow  grey,  but  few  grow  good. 
Presumption  first  blinds  a  Man,  then  sets  him  a  run 
ning. 

APRIL. 

I,IFE  is  a  shelvy  Sea,  the  Passage  fear, 

And  not  without  a  skilful  Pilot  steer. 

Distrust  thy  Youth,  experienc'd  Age  implore, 

And  borrow  all  the  Wisdom  of  Threescore. 

But  chief  a  Father's,  Mother's  Voice  revere  ; 

'T  is  Love  that  chides,  't  is  Love  that  counsels  herr. 

Thrice  happy  is  the  Youth,  whose  pliant  Mind 

To  all  a  Parent's  Culture  is  resign 'd. 

A  cold  April,  The  Barn  will  fill. 

Content  makes  poor  men  rich  ;  Discontent  makes  rick 
Men  poor. 
Too  much  plenty  makes  Mouth  dainty. 


O,  well  begun,  Virtue's  great  Work  pursue, 
Passions  at  first  we  may  with  Ease  subdue  ; 


ffroor  IRfcbarfc  for  1749  189 

But  if  neglected,  unrestrain'd  too  long, 

Prevailing  in  their  Growth,  by  Habit  Strong, 

They  've  wrapp'd  the  Mind,  have  fix'd  the  stubborn 

Bent, 

And  Force  of  Custom  to  wild  Nature  lent ; 
Who  then  would  set  the  crooked  Tree  aright, 
As  soon  may  wash  the  tawny  Indian  white. 

If  Passion  drives,  let  Reason  hold  the  Reins. 

Neither  trust,  nor  contend,  nor  lay  wagers,  nor  lend  ; 
And  you  '11  have  peace  to  your  L,ives  end. 

Drink  does  not  drown  Care,  but  waters  it,  and  makes 
it  grow  faster. 

Who  dainties  love,  shall  Beggars  prove. 

JUNE. 

Industry's  bounteous  Hand  may  Plenty  bring, 
But  wanting  frugal  Care,  't  will  soon  take  wing. 
Small  thy  Supplies,  and  scanty  in  their  Source, 
'Twixt  Av'rice  and  Profusion  steer  thy  Course. 
Av'rice  is  deaf  to  Want's  Heart-bursting  Groan, 
Profusion  makes  the  Beggar's  Rags  thy  own  : 
Close  Fraud  and  Wrong  from  griping  Av'rice  grow, 
From  rash  Profusion  desp'rate  Acts  and  Woe. 

A  Man  has  no  more  Goods  than  he  gets  Good  by. 
Welcome,  Mischief,  if  thou  comest  alone. 
Different  Sects  like  different  clocks,  may  be  all  near 
the  matter,  'tho  they  don't  quite  agree. 

JULY. 

Honour  the  softer  Sex  ;  with  courteous  Style, 
And  Gentleness  of  Manners,  win  their  Smile  ; 
Nor  shun  their  virtuous  Converse  ;  but  when  Age 
And  Circumstance  consent,  thy  Faith  engage 


i go  f>oor  IRfcbarfc  for  1740 

To  some  discreet,  well-natur'd,  chearful  Fair, 
One  not  too  stately  for  the  Household  Care, 
One  form'd  in  Person  and  in  Mind  to  please, 
To  season  lyife,  and  all  its  L,abours  ease. 

If  your  head  is  wax,  don't  walk  in  the  Sun. 
Pretty  &  Witty  will  wound  if  they  hit  ye. 

Having  been  poor  is  no  shame,  but  being  ashamed  of 
it,  is. 

AUGUST. 

Gaming,  the  Vice  of  Knaves  and  Fools,  detest, 
Miner  of  Time,  of  Substance  and  of  Rest ; 
Which,  in  the  Winning  or  the  loosing  Part, 
Undoing  or  undone,  will  wring  the  Heart : 
Undone,  self-curs'd,  thy  Madness  thou  wilt  rue  ; 
Undoing,  Curse  of  others  will  pursue 
Thy  hated  Head.     A  Parent's,  Household's  Tear, 
A  Neighbour's  Groan,  and  Heav'n's  displeasure  fear. 

'T  is  a  laudable  Ambition,  that  aims  at  being  better 
than  his  Neighbours. 

The  wise  Man  draws  more  Advantage  from  his  Ene 
mies,  than  the  Fool  from  his  Friends. 

SEPTEMBER. 

Wouldst  thou  extract  the  purest  Sweet  of  I/ife, 
Be  nor  Ally  nor  Principal  in  Strife. 
A  Mediator  there,  thy  Balsam  bring, 
And  lenify  the  Wound,  and  draw  the  Sting  ; 
On  Hate  let  Kindness  her  warm  Embers  throw, 
And  mould  into  a  Friend  the  melting  Foe. 
The  weakest  Foe  boasts  some  revenging  Pow'r; 
The  weakest  Friend  some  serviceable  Hour. 

All  would  live  long,  but  none  would  be  old. 


Iftoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1749  191 

Declaiming  against  Pride,  is  not  always  a  Sign  of 
Humility. 

Neglect  kills  Injuries,  Revenge  increases  them. 

OCTOBER. 

In  Converse  be  reserv'd,  yet  not  morose, 

In  Season  grave,  in  Season,  too,  jocose. 

Shun  Party-Wranglings,  mix  not  in  Debate 

With  Bigots  in  Religion  or  the  State. 

No  Arms  to  Scandal  or  Detraction  lend, 

Abhor  to  wound,  be  fervent  to  defend. 

Aspiring  still  to  know,  a  Babbler  scorn, 

But  watch  where  Wisdom  opes  her  golden  Horn. 
9  Men  in  10  are  suicides. 

Doing  an  Injury  puts  you  below  your  Enemy  ;  Reven 
ging  one  makes  you  but  even  with  him  ;  Forgiving  it  sets 
you  above  him. 

NOVEMBER. 

In  quest  of  Gain  be  just :  A  Conscience  clear 
Is  Lucre,  more  than  Thousands  in  a  Year  ; 
Treasure  no  Moth  can  touch,  no  Rust  consume  ; 
Safe  from  the  Knave,  the  Robber,  and  the  Tomb. 
Unrighteous  Gain  is  the  curs'd  Seed  of  Woe, 
Predestin'd  to  be  reap'd  by  them  who  sow  ; 
A  dreadful  Harvest !  when  th'  avenging  Day 
Shall  like  a  Tempest,  sweep  the  Unjust  away. 

Most  of  the  ^earning  in  use,  is  of  no  great  Use. 
Great  Good-nature,  without  Prudence,  is  a  great  Mis 
fortune. 

Keep  Conscience  clear,  Then  never  fear. 

DECEMBER. 

But  not  from  Wrong  alone  thy  Hand  restrain, 
The  Appetite  of  Gold  demands  the  Rein. 


poor  TRicbarfc  for  174$ 

What  Nature  asks,  what  Decency  requires, 
Be  this  the  Bound  that  limits  thy  Desires  : 
This,  and  the  gen'rous  godlike  Pow'r  to  feed 
The  Hungry,  and  to  warm  the  Loins  of  Need: 
To  dry  Misfortune's  Tear,  and  scatter  wide 
Thy  Blessings,  like  the  Nile's  overflowing  Tide. 


A  man  in  a  Passion  rides  a  mad  Horse. 
Reader  farewel,  all  Happiness  attend  thee  ;    May  each 
New-Year,  better  and  richer  find  thee. 

HOW  TO  GET  RICHES. 

The  Art  of  getting  Riches  consists  very  much  in 
THRIFT.  All  Men  are  not  equally  qualified  forgetting 
Money,  but  it  is  in  the  Power  of  every  one  alike  to 
practise  this  Virtue. 

He  that  would  be  beforehand  in  the  World,  must  be 
beforehand  with  his  Business  :  It  is  not  only  ill  Manage 
ment,  but  discovers  a  slothful  Disposition,  to  do  that  in 
the  Afternoon,  which  should  have  been  done  in  the 
Morning. 

Useful  Attainments  in  your  Minority  will  procure 
Riches  in  Maturity,  of  which  Writing  and  Accounts  are 
not  the  meanest. 

Learning,  whether  Speculative  or  Practical,  is,  in 
Popular  or  Mixt  Governments,  the  Natural  Source  of 
health  and  Honour. 


In  Things  of  moment,  on  thy  self  depend, 
Nor  trust  too  far  thy  Servant  or  thy  Friend  : 
With  private  Views,  thy  Friend  may  promise  fair, 
And  Servants  very  seldom  prove  sincere. 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1740  193 

PRECEPT  II. 

What  can  be  done,  with  Care  perform  to  Day, 
Dangers  unthought-of  will  attend  Delay ; 
Your  distant  Prospects  all  precarious  are, 
And  Fortune  is  as  fickle  as  she  's  fair. 

PRECEPT  III. 

Nor  trivial  I^oss,  nor  trivial  Gain  despise  ; 
Molehills,  if  often  heap'd,  to  Mountains  rise  •. 
Weigh  every  small  Expence,  and  nothing  waste. 
Farthings  long  sav'd,  amount  to  Pounds  at  last, 
13 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1750. 


PREFACE. 

To  THE  READER  : 

The  Hope  of  acquiring  lasting  Fame,  is, 
with  many  Authors,  a  most  powerful  Motive  to 
Writing.  Some,  tho'  few,  have  succeeded ;  and 
others,  tho'  perhaps  fewer,  may  succeed  here 
after,  and  be  as  well  known  to  Posterity  by 
their  Works,  as  the  Antients  are  to  us.  We 
Philomaths,  as  ambitious  of  Fame  as  any  other 
Writers  whatever,  after  all  our  painful  Watch- 
ings,  and  laborious  Calculations,  have  the 
constant  Mortification  to  see  our  Works  thrown 
by  at  the  Bnd  of  the  Year,  and  treated  as  mere 
waste  Paper.  Our  only  Calculation  is,  that 
short-lived  as  they  are,  they  outlive  those  of 
most  of  our  Cotemporaries. 

Yet,  condemned  to  renew  the  Sisyphean  Toil, 
we  every  Year  heave  another  heavy  Mass  up  the 

194 


poor  IRfcbarD  for  1750  195 

Muses  Hill,  which  never  can  the  Summit  reach, 
and  soon  comes  tumbling  down  again. 

This,  Kind  Reader,  is  my  seventeenth  Labour 
of  the  kind.  Thro'  thy  continued  Good-will, 
they  have  procur'd  me,  if  no  Bays,  at  least 
Pence ;  and  the  latter  is  perhaps  the  better  of 
the  two  ;  since  't  is  not  improbable,  that  a  Man 
may  receive  more  solid  Satisfaction  from  Pud 
ding,  while  he  is  living,  than  from  Praise,  after 
he  is  dead. 

In  my  last,  a  few  Faults  escap'd ;  some  belong 
to  the  Author,  but  most  to  the  Printer :  Let 
each  take  his  Share  of  the  Blame,  confess,  and 
amend  for  the  future.  In  the  second  Page  of 
August,  I  mention'd  120  as  the  next  perfect 
number  to  28 ;  it  was  wrong,  120  being  no 
perfect  number  ;  the  next  to  28  I  find  to  be  496. 
The  first  is  6 ;  let  the  curious  Reader,  fond  of 
mathematical  Questions,  find  the  fourth.  In 
the  2d  Page  of  March,  in  some  Copies,  the 
Earth's  Circumference  was  said  to  be  nigh 
4000,  instead  of  24000  Miles,  the  figure  2  being 
omitted  at  the  Begining.  This  was  Mr.  Print 
er's  Fault ;  who  being  also  somewhat  niggardly 
of  his  Vowels,  as  well  as  profuse  of  his  Con 
sonants,  put  in  one  Place,  among  the  Poetry, 
mad,  instead  of  made,  and  in  another  wrapp'd, 
instead  of  warp'd  ;  to  the  utter  demolishing 
of  all  Sense  in  those  Lines,  leaving  nothing 


196  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1750 

standing  but  the  Rhime.  These,  and  some 
others,  of  a  like  kind,  let  the  Readers  forgive, 
or  rebuke  him  for,  as  to  their  Wisdom  and 
Goodness  shall  seem  meet  :  For  in  such  Cases 
the  Loss  and  Damage  is  chiefly  to  the  Reader, 
who,  if  he  does  not  take  my  Sense  at  first 
Reading,  't  is  odds  he  never  gets  it  ;  for  ten  to 
one  he  does  not  read  my  Works  a  second  Time. 

Printers  indeed  should  be  very  careful  how 
they  omit  a  Figure  or  a  Letter  :  For  by  such 
means  sometimes  a  terrible  Alteration  is  made 
in  the  Sense.  I  have  heard,  that  once,  in  a 
new  Bdition  of  the  Common  Prayer,  the  follow 
ing  Sentence,  We  shall  all  be  changed  in  a 
Moment  in  the  Twinkling  of  an  Eye  ;  by  the 
Omission  of  a  single  Letter,  became  We  shall 
all  be  hanged  in  a  Moment,  &c.  to  the  no  small 
Surprize  of  the  first  Congregation  it  was  read  to. 

May  this  Year  prove  a  Happy  One  to  Thee  and 
Thine,  is  the  hearty  wish  of,  Kind  Reader, 
Thy  obliged  Friend, 
R. 


JANUARY. 

So  weak  are  human  Kind  by  Nature  made, 
Or  to  such  Weakness  by  their  Vice  betray'd, 
Almighty  Vanity  I  to  thee  they  owe 
Their  Zest  of  Pleasure,  and  their  Balm  of  Woo 
Thou,  like  the  Sun,  all  Colours  dost  contain, 
Varying-  like  Rays  of  I/ight  on  Drops  of  Rail  ; 


poor  TRfcbarD  for  1750  197 

For  every  Soul  finds  Reason  to  be  Proud, 
Tho'  hiss'd  and  hooted  by  the  pointing  Croud. 

There  are  three  Things  extreamly  hard,  Steel,  a  Dia 
mond  and  to  know  one's  self. 
Hunger  is  the  best  Pickle. 

He  is  a  Governor  that  governs  his  Passions,  and  he  a 
Servant  that  serves  them. 

FEBRUARY. 

We  smile  at  Florists,  we  despise  their  Joy, 

And  think  their  Hearts  enamour' d  of  a  Toy  ; 

But  are  those  wiser,  whom  we  most  admire, 

Survey  with  F«nvy,  and  pursue  with  Fire  ? 

What 's  he,  who  fights  for  Wealth,  or  Fame,  or  Power? 

Another  Florio,  doating  on  a  Flower, 

A  short-liv'd  Flower,  and  which  has  often  sprung, 

From  sordid  Arts,  as  Florio' s  out  of  Dung. 

A  Cypher  and  Humility  make  the  other   Figures  & 
Virtues  of  tenfold  Value. 
If  it  were  not  for  the  Belly,  the  Back  might  wear  Gold. 

MARCH. 

What 's  the  bent  Brow,  or  Neck  in  Thought  reclin'd? 

The  Body's  Wisdom,  to  conceal  the  Mind. 

A  Man  of  Sense  can  Artifice  disdain, 

As  Men  of  Wealth  may  venture  to  go  plain  ; 

And  he  this  Truth  eternal  ne'er  forgot, 

Solemnity  's  a  Cover  for  a  Sot ; 

I  find  the  Fool,  when  I  behold  the  Screen  : 

For  't  is  the  Wise  Man's  Interest  to  be  seen. 

Wouldst  thou  confound  thine  IJnemy ,  be  good  thy  self. 
Pride  is  as  loud  a  Beggar  as  Want,  and  a  great  deal 
more  saucy. 
Pay  what  you  owe,  and  what  you  're  worth  you '11  know. 


198  {poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1750 


When  e'er  by  seeming  Chance,  Fop  throws  his  Eye 
On  Mirrors  flashing  with  his  Finery, 
With  how  sublime  a  Transport  leaps  his  Heart  ; 
Pity  such  Friends  sincere  should  ever  part. 
So  have  I  seen  on  some  bright  Summer's  Day, 
A  spotted  Calf,  sleek,  frolicksome  and  gay  ; 
Gaze  from  the  Bank,  and  much  delighted  seem, 
Fond  of  the  pretty  Fellow  in  the  Stream. 

Sorrow  is  good  for  nothing  but  Sin. 

Many  a  Man  thinks  he  is  buying  Pleasure,  when  he  is 
really  selling  himself  a  Slave  to  it. 

Graft  good  Fruit  all,  Or  graft  not  at  all. 

MAY. 

Content  let  all  your  Virtues  lie  unknown, 
If  there  's  no  Tongue  to  praise  them,  but  your  own, 
Of  Boasting  more  than  of  a  Bomb  afraid, 
Merit  should  be  as  modest  as  a  Maid. 
Fame  is  a  Bubble  the  Reserv'd  enjoy, 
Who  strive  to  grasp  it,  as  they  touch,  destroy  ; 
'T  is  the  World's  Debt  to  Deeds  of  high  Degree  ; 
But  if  you  pay  yourself,  the  World  is  free. 

'T  is  hard  (but  glorious)  to  be  poor  and  honest :  An 
empty  Sack  can  hardly  stand  upright ;  but  if  it  does,  't  is 
a  stout  one  ! 

He  that  can  bear  a  Reproof,  and  mend  by  it,  if  he  is 
not  wise,  is  in  a  fair  way  of  being  so. 

Beatus  esse  sine  Virtute  nemo  potest.* 

JUNE. 

Daphnis,  says  Clio,  has  a  charming  Eye  ; 
What  Pity  't  is  her  Shoulder  is  awry? 

*  No  one  can  be  happy  without  virtue. 


poor  IRfcbaro  for  1750  199 

Aspasia's  Shape  indeed but  then  her  Air, 

'T  would  ask  a  Conj'rer  to  find  Beauty  there. 
Without  a  But,  Hortensig,  she  commends, 
The  first  of  Women,  and  the  best  of  Friends  ; 
Owns  her  in  Person,  Wit,  Fame,  Virtue,  bright ; 
But  how  comes  this  to  pass  ? She  dy'd  last  Night. 

Sound,  &c.  sound  Doctrine,  may  pass  through  a  Ram's 
Horn,  and  a  Preacher,  without  straightening  the  one,  or 
amending  the  other. 

Clean  your  Finger,  before  you  point  at  my  Spots. 
JULY. 

On  Time. 

See  TIME)  launch 'd  forth,  in  solemn  Form  proceed, 
And  Man  on  Man  advance,  and  Deed  on  Deed  ! 
No  Pause,  no  Rest  in  all  the  World  appears, 
E)v'n  live  long  Patriarchs  waste  their  1000  Years. 
Some  Periods  void  of  Science  and  of  Fame, 
Scarce  e'er  exist,  or  leave  behind  a  Name  ; 
Meer  sluggish  Rounds,  to  let  Succession  climb, 
Obscure,  and  idle  Expletives  of  Time. 

He  that  spills  the  Rum  loses  that  only  ;  He  that  drinks 
it,  often  loses  both  that  and  himself. 

That  Ignorance  makes  devout,  if  right  the  Notion, 
Troth,  Rufus,  thou  'rt  a  Man  of  great  Devotion. 


Others  behold  each  nobler  Genius  thrive, 
And  in  their  generous  I,abours  long  survive  ; 
By  ^earning  grac'd,  extend  a  distant  I^ight ; 
Thus  circling  Science  has  her  Day  and  Night. 
Rise,  rise,  ye  dear  Cotemporaries,  rise  ; 
On  whom  devolve  these  Seasons  and  these  Skies ! 
Assert  the  Portion  destin'd  to  your  Share, 
And  make  the  Honour  of  the  Times  your  Care. 


200  poor  IRtcbaro  for  1750 

Those  that  have  much  Business  must  have  much 
Pardon. 

Discontented  Minds,  and  Fevers  of  the  Body  are  not 
to  be  cured  by  changing  Beds  or  Businesses. 

I4ttle  Strokes,  Fell  great  Oaks. 

SEPTEMBER. 

Still  be  your  darling  Study  Nature's  I,aws ; 

And  to  its  Fountain  trace  up  every  Cause. 

Explore,  for  such  it  is,  this  high  Abode, 

And  tread  the  Paths  which  Boyle  and  Newton  trod. 

1,0,  Earth  smiles  wide,  and  radiant  Heav'n  looks  down, 

All  fair,  all  gay,  and  urgent  v.o  be  known  ! 

Attend,  and  here  are  sown  Delights  immense, 

For  every  Intellect,  and  every  Sense. 

You  may  be  too  cunning  for  One,  but  not  for  All. 
Genius  without  Education  is  like  Silver  in  the  Mine. 
Many  would  live  by  their  Wits,  but  break  for  want  of 
stock. 
Poor  Plain  dealing  !  dead  without  Issue. 

OCTOBER. 

With  Adoration  think,  with  Rapture  gaze, 
And  hear  all  Nature  chant  her  Maker's  Praise  ; 
With  Reason  stor'd,  by  L,ove  of  Knowledge  fir'd, 
By  Dread  awaken'd,  and  by  I^ove  inspir'd, 
Can  We,  the  Product  of  another's  Hand, 
Nor  whence,  nor  how,  nor  why  we  are,  demand? 
And,  not  at  all,  or  not  aright  employ'd, 
Behold  a  Length  of  Years,  and  all  a  Void  ? 

You  can  bear  your  own  Faults,  and  why  not  a  Fault  in 
your  Wife. 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1750  201 

Tho'  Modesty  is  a  Virtue,  Bashfulness  is  a  Vice. 
Hide   not   your   Talents,    they  for  Use   were  made. 
What 's  a  Sun-Dial  in  the  Shade  ? 

NOVEMBER. 

Happy,  thrice  happy  he  !    whose  conscious  Heart, 
Enquires  his  Purpose,  and  discerns  his  Part ; 
Who  runs  with  Heed,  th'  involuntary  Race, 
Nor  lets  his  hours  reproach  him  as  they  pass  ; 
Weighs  how  they  steal  away,  how  sure,  how  fast, 
And  as  he  weighs  them,  apprehends  the  last. 
Or  vacant,  or  engag'd,  our  Minutes  fly  ; 
We  may  be  negligent,  but  we  must  die. 

What  signifies  knowing  the  Names,  if  you  know  not 
the  Natures  of  Things. 

Tim  was  so  learned,  that  he  could  name  a  Horse  in 
nine  languages.  So  ignorant,  that  he  bought  a  Cow  to 
ride  on. 

The  Golden  Age  never  was  the  present  Age. 

DECEMBER. 

And  thou  supreme  of  Beings  and  of  Things ! 

Who  breath'st  all  I^ife,  and  giv'st  Duration  Wings ; 

Intense,  O  let  me  for  thy  Glory  burn, 

Nor  fruitless  view  my  Days  and  Nights  return  ; 

Give  me  with  Wonder  at  thy  Works  to  glow ; 

To  grasp  thy  Vision,  and  thy  Truths  to  know  ; 

To  reach  at  length  thy  everlasting  Shore, 

And  live  and  sing  'till  Time  shall  be  no  more. 

'T  is  a  Shame  that  your  Family  is  an  Honour  to  you  I 
You  ought  to  be  an  Honour  to  your  Family. 
Glass,  China,  and  Reputation,  are  easily  crack'd,  and 
never  well  mended. 
Adieu,  my  Task  's  ended. 


202  poor  IRicbarD  for  1750 


OF  COURTS. 

If  any  Rogue  vexatious  Suits  advance 
Against  you  for  your  known  Inheritance  : 
Enter  by  Violence  your  fruitful  Grounds, 
Or  take  the  sacred  Land-mark  from  your  Bounds, 
Or  if  your  Debtors  do  not  keep  their  Day, 
Deny  their  Hands,  and  then  refuse  to  pay  : 
You  must  with  Patience  all  the  Terms  attend, 
Among  the  common  Causes  that  depend, 

Till  yours  is  call'd  : And  that  long  look'd-for  Day 

Is  still  encumber'd  with  some  new  Delay  : 
Your  Proofs  and  Deeds  all  on  the  Table  spread, 

Some  of  the  B ch  perhaps  are  sick  a-bed  ; 

That  J g»  steps  out  to  light  his  Pipe,  while  this 

O'er  night  was  boozy,  and  goes  out  to  p  -  -  ss. 
Some  Witness  miss'd  ;  some  Lawyer  not  in  Town,   "j 
So  many  Rubs  appear,  the  Time  is  gone,  L 

For  Hearing,  and  the  tedious  Suit  goes  on. 
Then  rather  let  two  Neighbours  end  your  Cause, 
And  split  the  Difference  ;  tho'  you  lose  one  Half; 
Than  spend  the  Whole,  entangled  in  the  Laws, 
While  merry  lawyers  sly,  at  both  Sides  laugh. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1751. 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

Astrology  is  one  of  the  most  ancient  Sci 
ences,  had  in  high  Esteem  of  old,  by  the  Wise 
and  Great.  Formerly,  no  Prince  could  make 
War  or  Peace,  nor  any  General  fight  a  Battle,  in 
short,  no  important  Affair  was  undertaken  with 
out  first  consulting  an  Astrologer^N^Q  examined 
the  Aspects  and  Configurations  of  the  heavenly 
Bodies,  and  mark'd  the  lucky  Hour.  Now  the 
noble  Art  (more  Shame  to  the  Age  we  live  in  !) 
is  dwindled  into  Contempt ;  the  Great  neglect 
us,  Empires  make  Leagues,  and  Parliaments 
Laws,  without  advising  with  us  ;  and  scarce  any 
other  Use  is  made  of  our  learned  Labours,  than 
to  find  the  best  Time  of  cutting  Corns,  or  geld 
ing  Pigs. This  Mischief  we  owe  in  a  great 

203. 


204          poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1751 

Measure  to  ourselves  :  The  Ignorant  Herd  of 
Mankind,  had  they  not  been  encourag'd  to  it  by 
some  of  us,  would  never  have  dared  to  depreci 
ate  our  sacred  Dictates ;  but  Urania  has  been 
betray'd  by  her  own  Sons  ;  those  whom  she  had 
favour'd  with  the  greatest  Skill  in  her  divine 
Art,  the  most  eminent  Astronomers  among  the 
Moderns,  the  Newtons,  Halleys,  and  Whistons, 
have  wantonly  contemn'd  and  abus'd  her,  con 
trary  to  the  Light  of  their  own  Consciences.  Of 
these,  only  the  last  nam'd,  Whiston,  has  liv'dto 
repent,  and  speak  his  Mind  honestly.  In  his 
former  Works  he  had  treated  Judiciary  Astrol 
ogy  as  a  Chimera,  and  asserted,  That  not  only 
the  fixed  Stars,  but  the  Planets  (Sun  and  Moon 
excepted)  were  at  so  immense  a  Distance,  as  to 
be  incapable  of  any  Influence  on  this  Barth, 
and  consequently  nothing  could  be  foretold 
from  their  Positions,  but  now  in  the  Memoirs 
of  his  Life,  publish'd  1749,  in  the  82d  Year  of 
his  Age,  he  foretels,  Page  607,  the  sudden  De 
struction  of  the  Turkish  Empire,  and  of  the 
House  of  Austria,  German  Emperors,  &c.  and 
Popes  of  Rome  ;  the  Restoration  of  the  Jews, 
and  Commencement  of  the  Millennium  ;  all  by 
Year  1766  ;  and  this  not  only  from  Scripture 

Prophecies ;    but   (take   his  own   Words) 

"  From  the  remarkable  astronomical  Signals 
"  that  are  to  alarm  Mankind  of  what  is  coming, 


floor  tttcbarfc  for  1751  205 

"  viz.  The  Northern  Lights  since  1715  ;  the  six 
"  Comets  at  the  Protestant  Reformation  in  four 
"Years,  1530,  1531,  1533,  1534,  compar'd  with 
"the  seven  Comets  already  seen  in  these  last 
"eleven  Years  1737,  1739,  1742,  1743,  1744,  174$, 

"  and   1748. From    the    great   Annular 

''Eclipse  of  the  Sun,  July  14,  1748,  whose  Cen- 
"ter  pass'd  through  all  the  four  Monarchies, 

"  from  Scotland  to  the  Bast  Indies. From 

"the  Occultation  of  the  Pleiades  by  the  Moon 
"  each  periodical  Month,  after  the  Eclipse  last 
"July,  for  above  three  Years,  visible  to  the 
"  whole  Roman  Empire ;  as  there  was  a  like 
"Occultation  of  the  Hyades  from  A.  590,  to  A. 

"  595,  for  six  Years  foretold  by  Isaiah. 

"  From  the  Transit  of  Mercury  over  the  Sun, 
"  April 25,  1753,  which  will  be  visible  thro'  that 

"  Empire. From  the  Comet  of  A.  D.  1456, 

'.'  1531,  1607,  and  1682,  which  will  appear  again 
"about  1757  ending,  or  1758  beginning,  and 

"will  also  be  visible  thro'  that  Empire. 

"  From  the  Transit  of  Venus  over  the  Sun,  May 
"  26,  1761,  which  will  be  visible  over  the  same 
"  Empire  :  And  lastly,  from  the  annular  Eclipse 
"of  the  Sun,  March,  n,  1764,  which  will  be 

"visible  over  the  same  Empire." From 

these  Astronomical  Signs,  he  foretels  those 
great  Events,  That  within  16  Years  from  this 
Time,  "the  Millennium  or  1000  Years  Reign  of 


206  floor  IRicbarfc  for  1751 

"  Christ  shall  begin,  there  shall  be  a  new  Heav- 
"  en.1;,  and  a  new  Earth  ;  there  shall  be  no  more 
"an  Infidel  in  Christendom,  Page  398,  nor  a 

"  Gaming-Table  at  Tunbridge  !  " When 

these  Predictions  are  accomplished,  what  glori 
ous  Proofs  they  will  be  of  the  Truth  of  our  Art  ? 

And  if  they  happen  to  fail,  there  is  no 

doubt  that  so  profound  an  Astronomer  as  Mr. 
Whiston,  will  be  able  to  see  other  Signs  in  the 
Heavens,  foreshowing  that  the  Conversion  of 
Infidels  was  to  be  postponed,  and  the  Millen 
nium  adjourn'd. After  these  great  Things 

can  any  Man  doubt  our  being  capable  of  pre 
dicting  a  little  Rain  or  Sun-shine  ? Reader, 

Farewell,  and  make  the  best  Use  of  your  Years 
and  your  Almanacks,  for  you  see,  that  accord 
ing  to  Whiston,  you  may  have  at  most,  but 
sixteen  more  of  them. 

Patowmack.July  30, 1750.  -  -  R.  SAUNDBRS, 

JANUARY. 

Who  rise  to  Glory,  must  by  VIRTUE  rise, 

'T  is  in  the  Mind  all  genuine  Greatness  lies  : 

On  that  eternal  Base,  on  that  alone, 

The  World's  Esteem  you  build,  and  more — your  own. 

For  what  avails  Birth,  Beauty,  Fortune's  Store, 

The  Plume  of  Title,  and  the  Pride  of  Pow'r, 

If,  deaf  to  Virtue,  deaf  to  Honour's  Call, 

To  Tyrant  Vice  a  wretched  Slave  you  fall  ? 

Pray  don't  burn  my  House  to  roast  your  Eggs. 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1751  207 

Some  Worth  it  argues,  a  Friend's  Worth  to  know  ; 
Virtue  to  own  the  Virtue  of  a  Foe. 
Prosperity  discovers  Vice,  Adversity  Virtue. 

FEBRUARY. 

Affect  not  that  vain  levity  of  Thought, 
Which  sets  Religion,  Virtue,  all  at  nought. 
For  true  Religion  like  the  Sun's  blest  Beam, 
Darts  thro'  the  conscious  Mind  a  heav'nly  Gleam, 
Irradiates  all  the  Soul,  no  Care  allows, 
Calms  the  best  Heart,  and  smooths  the  easy  Brows. 

Yet  think  it  not  enough  what  's  right  to  know, 
But  let  your  Practice  that  right  Knowledge  show. 
To  Christians  bad  rude  Indians  we  prefer  ; 
'T  is  better  not  to  know,  than  knowing  err. 

Many  a  Man  would  have  been  worse,  if  his  Estate  had 
been  better. 
We  may  give  Advice,  but  we  cannot  give  Conduct. 


Some  sweet  Employ  for  leisure  Minutes  chuse. 
And  let  your  very  Pleasures  have  their  Use. 
But  if  you  read,  your  Books  with  Prudence  chuse. 
Or  Time  mis-spent  is  worse  than  what  you  lose. 
Be  fully  e'er  you  speak  your  Subject  known, 
And  let  e'en  then  some  Diffidence  be  shown. 
Keep  something  silent,  and  we  think  you  wise, 
But  when  we  see  the  Bottom,  we  despise. 

He  that  is  conscious  of  a  stink  in  his  Breeches,  is  jeal 
ous  of  every  Wrinkle  in  another's  Nose. 

Ivove  and  Tooth-ach  have  many  Cures,  but  none  infal 
lible,  except  Possession  and  Dispossession. 


208  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1751 


O  barb'rous  Waggoners,  your  Wrath  ass  wage, 
Why  vent  you  on  the  generous  Steed  your  Rage  ? 
Does  not  his  Service  earn  you  daily  Bread  ? 
Your  Wives,  your  Children  by  his  Labour  fed  ? 
If,  as  the  Samian  taught,  the  Soul  revives, 
And,  shifting  Seats,  in  other  Bodies  lives, 
Severe  shall  be  the  brutal  Carter's  Change, 
Doom'd  in  a  Thill-horse  o'er  rough  Roads  to  range  ; 
And  while  transformed  the  groaning  I/>ad  he  draws, 
Some  Horse  turn'd  Carter  shall  avenge  the  Cause. 

There  are  lazy  Minds  as  well  as  lazy  Bodies. 
Most  People  return  small  Favours,  acknowledge  mid 
dling  ones,  and  repay  great  ones  with  Ingratitude. 


With  ceaseless  Streams  a  well-plac'd  Treasure  flows, 
When  spent  increases,  and  by  lessening  grows. 
Sarepta's  Widow,  hoping  no  Supply, 
Thought,  on  her  little  Store,  to  eat  and  die  : 
Soon  as  she  welcom'd  her  prophetic  Guest, 
The  Cruse  flow'd  liberal,  and  the  Corn  increas'd, 
Th'  Almighty  Pow'r  unfailing  Plenty  sent, 
The  Oil  unwasted,  and  the  Meal  unspent. 

Fond  Pride  of  Dress  is  sure  an  empty  Curse  ; 

Fy're  Fancy  you  consult,  consult  your  Purse. 

Youth  is  pert  and  positive,  Age  modest  and  doubting : 
So  Ears  of  Corn  when  young  and  light,  stand  bold  up 
right,  but  hang  their  Heads  when  weighty,  full,  and 
ripe. 

JUNE. 

What  will  not  Luxury  taste  ?    Earth,  Sea,  and  Air, 
Are  daily  ransack'd  for  the  Bill  of  Fare. 


poor  IRicbaro  for  1751  209 

Blood  stuff  d  in  Guts  is  British  Christian's  Food, 

And  France  robs  Marshes  of  the  croaking  Brood  ; 

But  he  had  sure  a  Palate  cover'd  o'er 

With  Brass  or  Steel,  that  on  the  rocky  Shore, 

First  broke  the  oozy  Oister's  pearly  Coat, 

And  risk'd  the  living  Morsel  down  his  Throat. 

'T  is  easier  to  suppress  the  first  Desire,  than  to  satisfy 
all  that  follow  it. 

Don't  judge  of  Men's  Wealth  or  Piety,  by  their  Sunday 
Appearances. 

Friendship  increases  by  visiting  Friends,  but  by  visit 
ing  seldom. 

JULY. 

Vice  luring,  in  the  Way  of  Virtue  lies, 
God  suffers  this  ;  but  tempts  not ;  tho'  He  tries. 
Go  wrong,  go  right,  't  is  your  own  Action  still ; 
He  leaves  you  to  your  Choice,  of  Good,  or  111. 
Then  chuse  the  Good  !  the  111  submisly  bear  ! 
The  Man  of  Virtue  is  above  Despair. 
Safe  on  this  Maxim  with  the  Writer  rest, 
That  all  that  happens,  happens  for  the  best. 

If  your  Riches  are  yours,  why  don't  you  take  them 
witn  you  to  the  t'other  World  ? 

What  more  valuable  than  Gold?     Diamond.     Than 
Diamonds  ?    Virtue. 
To-day  is  Yesterday's  Pupil. 


Ye  Party  Zealots,  thus  it  fares  with  you, 
When  Party  Rage  too  warmly  you  pursue  ; 
Both  Sides  club  Nonsense  and  impetuous  Pride, 
And  Folly  joins  whom  Sentiments  divide. 
Vol  I— 14 


210  poor  IRfcbarD  for  1751 

You  vent  your  Spleen  as  Monkeys  when  they  pass, 
Scratch  at  the  mimic  Monkey  in  the  Glass, 
While  both  are  one  ;  and  henceforth  be  it  known, 
Fools  of  both  Sides  shall  stand  as  Fools  alone. 

If  worldly  Goods  cannot  save  me  from  Death,  they 
ought  not  to  hinder  me  of  eternal  Life. 

'T  is  great  Confidence  in  a  Friend  to  tell  him  your 
Faults,  greater  to  tell  him  his. 

SEPTEMBER. 

Ah  !  what  is  Life  ?    With  Ills  encompass 'd  round, 
Amidst  our  Hopes,  Fate  strikes  the  sudden  Wound  ; 
To-day  the  Statesman  of  new  Honour  dreams, 
To-morrow  Death  destroys  his  airy  Schemes. 
Is  mouldy  Treasure  in  thy  Chest  confin'd  ; 
Think,  all  that  Treasure  thou  must  leave  behind  ; 
Thy  Heir  with  Smiles  shall  view  thy  blazon 'd  Hearse, 
And  all  thy  Hoards,  with  lavish  Hand  disperse. 

Talking  against  Religion  is  unchaining  a  Tyger  ;  The 
Beast  let  loose  may  worry  his  Deliverer. 

Ambition  often  spends  foolishly  what  Avarice  had 
wickedly  collected. 

OCTOBER. 

Should  certain  Fate  th'  impending  Blow  delay, 
Thy  Mirth  will  sicken,  and  thy  Bloom  decay  ; 
Then  feeble  Age  will  all  thy  Nerves  disarm, 
No  more  thy  Blood  its  narrow  Channels  warm  ; 
Who  then  would  wish  to  stretch  this  narrow  Span, 
To  suffer  Life  beyond  the  Date  of  Man  ? 
The  virtuous  Soul  pursues  a  nobler  Aim, 
And  Life  regards  but  as  a  fleeting  Dream. 

Pillgarlic  was  in  the  Accusative  Case,  and  bespoke  A 
Lawyer  in  the  Vocative,  who  could  not  understand  him 
till  he  made  use  of  the  Dative. 


fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1751  211 

Great  Estates  may  venture  more  ;  little  Boats  must 
keep  near  Shore. 

Nice  Eaters  seldom  meet  with  a  good  Dinner. 

NOVEMBER. 

She  longs  to  wake,  and  wishes  to  get  free, 

To  launch  from  Earth  into  ETERNITY, 

For  while  the  boundless  Theme  extends  our  Thought, 

Ten  thousand  thousand  rolling  Years  are  nought. 

O  endless  thought  !  divine  Eternity  ! 

Th'  immortal  Soul  shares  but  a  Part  of  thee  ; 

For  thou  wert  present  when  our  Life  began,' 

When  the  warm  Dust  shot  up  in  breathing  Man. 

Not  to  oversee  Workmen,  is  to  leave  them  your  Purse 
open. 

The  Wise  and  Brave  dares  own  that  he  was  wrong. 
Cunning  proceeds  from  Want  of  Capacity. 

DECEMBER. 

Ere  the  Foundations  of  the  World  were  laid, 
Ere  kindling  Light  th'  Almighty  Word  obey'd, 
Thou  wert ;  and  when  the  subterraneous  Flame, 
Shall  burst  its  Prison,  and  devour  this  Frame, 
From  angry  Heav'n  when  the  keen  Lightning  flies, 
When  fervent  Heat  dissolves  the  melting  Skies, 
Thou  still  shalt  be  ;  still  as  thou  wert  before, 
And  know  no  Change  when  Time  shall  be  no  more. 

The  Proud  hate  Pride— in  others. 
Who  judges  best  of  a  Man,  his  Enemies  or  himself? 
Drunkenness,  that  worst  of  Evils,  makes  some  men 
Fools,  some  Beasts,  some  Devils. 
'T  is  not  a  Holiday  that  's  not  kept  holy. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1752. 


[PREFACE  OMITTED.] 

JANUARY. 
On  Publick  Spirit. 

Where  never  Science  beam'd  a  friendly  Ray, 
Where  one  vast  Blank  neglected  Nature  lay  ; 
From  PUBLICK  SPIRIT  there,  by  Arts  employ '<J, 
Creation,  varying,  glads  the  chearless  Void. 
By  Arts,  which  Safety,  Treasure  and  Delight, 
On  I,and,  on  Wave,  in  wondrous  Works  unite  ! 
Myriads  made  happy,  Publick  Spirit  bless  ; 
Parent  of  Trade,  Wealth,  liberty  and  Peace. 

Observe  old  Vellum ;  he  praises  former  times,  as  if 
he'd  a  mind  to  sell  'em. 

Kings  have  long  Arms,  but  misfortune  longer :  I>* 
none  think  themselves  out  of  her  Reach. 

FEBRUARY. 

Unlike  where  Tyranny,  the  Rod  maintains 
O'er  turfless,  leafless  and  uncultur'd  Plains, 
Here  Herbs  of  Food  and  Physic,  Plenty  showers, 
Gives  Fruits  to  blush,  and  colours  various  Flowers*. 


poor  IRicbarfc  for  1752  213 

Where  Sands  or  Stony  Wilds  once  starv'd  the  Year, 
Iyaughs  the  green  I^awn,  and  nods  the  golden  Bar. 
White  shine  the  fleecy  Race,  which  Fate  shall  doom, 
The  Feast  of  I/ife,  the  Treasure  of  the  3L,oom. 

For  want  of  a  Nail  the  Shoe  is  lost ;  for  want  of  a  Shoe 
ihe  Horse  is  lost  ;  for  want  of  a  Horse  the  Rider  is  lost. 

MARCH. 

What  tho'  no  Arch  of  Triumph  is  assign'd 

To  laurel'd  Pride,  whose  Sword  has  thinn'd  Mankind ; 

Tho'  no  vast  Wall  extends  from  Coast  to  Coast, 

No  Pyramid  aspires  sublimely  lost. 

1,0  !  stately  Streets,  lo  !  ample  Squares  invite 

The  salutary  Gale  that  breathes  Delight. 

I,o  !  Structures  mark  the  hospitable  Strand, 

Where  Charity  extends  her  tender  Hand ; 

The  busy  Man  has  few  idle  Visitors  ;  to  the  boiling  Pot 
the  Flies  come  not. 

Calamity  and  Prosperity  are  the  Touchstones  of  In 
tegrity. 


Where  the  sick  Stranger  joys  to  find  a  Home, 
Where  casual  111,  maim'd  I,abour,  freely  come  ; 
Those  worn  with  Age,  Infirmity  or  Care, 
Find  Rest,  Relief,  and  Health  returning  fair. 
There  too  the  Walls  of  rising  Schools  ascend, 
For  PUBLICK  SPIRIT  still  is  learning's  Friend, 
Where  Science,  Virtue,  sown  with  liberal  Hand, 
In  future  Patriots  shall  inspire  the  I^and. 

The  Prodigal  generally  does  more  Injustice  than  the 
Covetous. 
Generous  Minds  are  all  of  kin. 


214  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1752 

MAY. 

And  when  too  populous  at  length  confess'd, 
From  confluent  Strangers  refug'd  and  redress'd  : 
When  War  so  long  withdraws  his  barb'rous  Train, 
That  Peace  o'erstocks  us  with  the  Sons  of  Men  : 
So  long  Health  breathes  thro'  the  pure  ambient  Air, 
That  Want  must  prey  on  those  Disease  would  spare  ; 
Then  will  be  all  the  gen' ro us  Godless  seen, 
Then  most  diffus'd  she  shines,  and  most  benign. 

'T  is  more  noble  to  forgive,  and  more  manly  to  despise, 
than  to  revenge  an  Injury. 

A  Brother  may  not  be  a  Friend,  but  a  Friend  will 
always  be  a  Brother. 
Meanness  is  the  Parent  of  Insolence. 

JUNE. 

Her  Eye  far  piercing,  round  extends  its  Beams, 
To  Erie's  Banks,  or  smooth  Ohio's  Streams, 
It  fixes  where  kind  Rays  till  then  have  smil'd, 
(Vain  Smile  !)  on  some  luxuriant  houseless  Wild  ; 
How  many  Sons  of  Want  might  here  enjoy 
What  Nature  gives  for  Age  but  to  destroy  ? 
'  Blush,  blush,  O  Sun  (she  cries)  here  vainly  found 
'  To  rise,  to  set,  to  roll  the  Seasons  round  ! 

Mankind  are  very  odd  Creatures  :  One  Half  censure 
what  they  practise,  the  other  half  practise  what  they 
censure  ;  the  rest  always  say  and  do  as  they  ought. 

Severity  is  often  Clemency  ;  Clemency  Severity. 

JULY. 

'  Shall  Heav'n  distil  in  Dews,  descend  in  Rain, 
'  From  Earth  gush  Fountains,  Rivers  flow  in  vain  ? 
1  There  shall  the  watry  Lives  in  Myriads  stray, 
'  And  be,  to  be  alone  each  other's  Prey  ? 


fcoor  IRicbatf)  for  1752  215 

'  Unsought  shall  here  the  teeming  Quarries  own 
'  The  various  Species  of  mechanic  Stone  ? 
'  From  Structure  This,  from  Sculpture  That  confine  ? 
'  Shall  Rocks  forbid  the  latent  Gem  to  shine  ? 

Bis  dat  qui  cito  dat :  He  gives  twice  that  gives  soon ; 
i.  e.  he  will  soon  be  called  upon  to  give  again. 
A  Temper  to  bear  much,  will  have  much  to  bear. 
Pride  dines  upon  Vanity,  sups  on  Contempt. 


'  Shall  Mines  obedient  aid  no  Artist's  Care, 

'  Nor  give  the  martial  Sword  and  peaceful  Share  ? 

'  Ah  !  shall  they  never  precious  Ore  unfold. 

'  To  smile  in  Silver,  or  to  flame  in  Gold  ? 

'  Shall  here  the  vegetable  World  alone, 

'  For  Joys,  for  various  Virtues  rest  unknown  ? 

'  While  Food  and  Physic,  Plants  and  Herbs  supply, 

'  Here  must  they  shoot  alone  to  bloom  and  die  ? 

Great  Merit  is  coy,  as  well  as  great  Pride. 

An  undutiful  Daughter,  will  prove  an  unmanageable 
Wife. 

Old  Boys  have  their  Playthings  as  well  as  young  Ones ; 
the  Difference  is  only  in  the  Price. 

SEPTEMBER. 

'  Shall  Fruits,  which  none,  but  brutal  Eyes  survey 

'  Untouch'd  grow  ripe,  untasted  drop  away  ? 

'  Shall  here  th'  irrational,  the  salvage  Kind 

'  Ivord  it  o'er  Stores  by  Heav'n  for  Man  design'd, 

'  And  trample  what  mild  Suns  benignly  raise, 

'  While  Man  must  lose  the  Use,  and  Heav'n  the  Praise  ? 

'  Shall  it  then  be  ?  '     (Indignant  here  she  rose, 

Indignant,  yet  humane,  her  Bosom  glows.) 


216          poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1752 

The  too  obliging  Temper  is  evermore  disobliging 
itself. 

Hold  your  Council  before  Dinner  ;  the  full  Belly  hates 
Thinking  as  well  as  Acting. 


'  No  !    By  each  honour'd  Grecian  Roman  Name, 

'  By  Men  for  Virtue  Deified  by  Fame, 

'  Who  peopled  Lands,  who  model'd  infant  State, 

'  And  then  bad  Empire  be  maturely  great, 

'  By  These  I  swear  (be  witness  Earth  and  Skies  ! ) 

'  Fair  Order  here  shall  from  Confusion  rise, 

'  Rapt  I  a  future  Colony  survey  ! 

'  Come  then,  ye  Sons  of  Mis'ry  !  come  away ! 

The  Brave  and  the  Wise  can  both  pity  and  excuse 
when  Cowards  and  Fools  shew  no  Mercy. 

Ceremony  is  not  Civility  ;  nor  Civility  Ceremony. 

If  man  could  have  Half  his  Wishes,  he  would  double 
his  Troubles. 

NOVEMBER. 

'  Let  Those,  whose  Sorrows  from  Neglect  are  known, 

'  (Here  taught  compell'd  empower'd)  Neglect  attone  ! 

'  Let  Those  enjoy  (who  never  merit  Woes) 

1  In  Yputh  th'  industrious  Wish,  in  Age  Repose  1 

'  Allotted  Acres  (no  reluctant  Soil) 

'  Shall  prompt  their  Industry,  and  pay  their  Toll. 

'  Let  Families,  long  Strangers  to  Delight, 

'  Whom  wayward  Fate  dispers'd,  by  Me  unite  ; 

It  is  ill  Jesting  with  the  Joiner's  Tools,  worse  with  the 
Doctor's. 

Children  and  Princes  will  quarrel  for  Trifles. 
Praise  to  the  undeserving,  is  severe  Satyr. 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1752  217 

DECEMBER. 

'  Here  live  enjoying  Life,  see  Plenty,  Peace  ; 

'  Their  Lands  encreasing  as  their  Sons  increase  1 

'  As  Nature  yet  is  found  in  leafy  Glades 

'  To  intermix  the  Walks  with  Lights  and  Shades  ; 

'  Or  as  with  Good  and  111,  in  chequer'd  Strife, 

'  Various  the  Goddess  colours  human  Life  ; 

'  So  in  this  fertile  Clime  if  yet  are  seen 

'  Moors,  Marshes,  Clifis,  by  Turns  to  intervene  : 

Success  has  ruin'd  many  a  Man. 

Great  Pride  and  Meanness  sure  are  near  ally'd ;  Or 
their  Partitions  do  their  Bounds  divide. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR    179 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

This  is  the  twentieth  Time  of  my  address 
ing  thee  in  this  Manner,  and  I  have  reason 
to  flatter  myself  my  Labours  have  not  been 
unacceptable  to  the  Publick.  I  am  particularly 
pleas' d  to  understand  that  my  Predictions  of 
the  Weather  give  such  general  Satisfaction  ;  and 
indeed  such  Care  is  taken  in  the  Calculations, 
on  which  those  Predictions  are  founded,  that  I 
could  almost  venture  to  say,  there  's  not  a 
single  One  of  them,  promising  Snow,  Rain, 
Hail,  Heat,  Frost,  Fogs,  Wind,  or  Thunder, 
but  what  comes  to  pass  punctually  and  pre 
cisely  on  the  very  Day,  in  some  Place  or  other 
on  this  little  diminutive  Globe  of  Ours  ;  (and 
when  you  consider  the  vast  Distance  of  the 
Stars  from  which  1(fe  take  Aim,  you  must  allow 
it  no  small  Degree  of  Exactness  to  hit  any  Part 
of  it).  I  say  on  this  Globe  ;  for  though  in  other 
218 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1753  219 

Matters  I  confine  the  Usefulness  of  my  Bphe- 
meris  to  the  Northern  Colonies,  yet  in  that 
important  Matter  of  the  Weather,  which  is  of 
such  general  Concern,  I  would  have  it  more 
extensively  useful,  and  therefore  take  in  both 
Hemispheres,  and  all  the  Latitudes  from  Hud 
son's  Bay  to  Cape  Horn. 

You  will  find  this  Almanack  in  my  former 
Method,  only  conformable  to  the  New-Stile 
established  by  the  Act  of  Parliament,  which 
I  gave  you  in  my  last  at  length ;  the  new  Act 
since  made  for  Amendment  of  that  first  Act, 
not  affecting  us  in  the  least,  being  intended 
only  to  regulate  some  Corporation  matters  in 
England,  being  unprovided  for.  I  have  only 
added  a  Column  in  the  second  Page  of  each 
Month,  containing  the  Days  of  the  Old  Stile 
opposite  to  their  corresponding  Days  in  the 
New,  which  may  in  many  Cases,  be  of  Use ; 
and  so  conclude,  (believing  you  will  excuse 
a  short  Preface,  when  it  is  to  make  Room  for 
something  better). 

Thy  Friend  and  Servant, 

R.  SAUNDERS. 

HYMN  TO  THE  CREATOR,  FROM  PSALM  CIV. 

AWAKE,  my  Soul !  with  Joy  thy  God  adore  ; 
Declare  his  Greatness  ;  celebrate  his  Pow'r  ; 
Who,  cloth'd  with  Honour,  and  with  Glory  crown'd, 
Shines  forth,  and  cheers  his  Universe  around, 


220  poor  IRfcbaro  for  1753 

Who  with  a  radient  Veil  of  heavenly  Ught 

Himself  conceals  from  all  created  Sight. 

Who  rais'd  the  spacious  Firmament  on  high, 

And  spread  the  azure  Curtain  of  the  Sky. 

Whose  awful  Throne  Heav'n's  starry  Arch  sustains, 

Whose  Presence  not  Heav'n's  vast  Expanse  retains. 

Whose  Ways  unsearchable  no  Eye  can  find, 

The  Clouds  his  Chariot,  and  his  Wings  the  Wind. 

Whom  Hosts  of  mighty  Angels  own  their  Lord, 

And  flaming  Seraphim  fulfil  his  Word. 

Whose  Pow'r  of  old  the  solid  Earth  did  found, 

Self-pois'd,  self-center'd,  and  with  Strength  girt  round' 

From  her  appointed  Sphere  forbid  to  fly, 

Or  rush  unbalenced  thro'  the  trackless  Sky. 

To  reas'ning  Man  the  sov'reign  Rule  assign'd, 

His  Delegate  o'er  each  inferior  Kind  ; 

Too  soon  to  fall  from  that  distinguish 'd  Place, 

His  Honours  stain 'd  with  Guilt  and  foul  Disgrace. 

He  saw  the  Pride  of  Earth 's  aspiring  Lord, 
And  in  his  Fury  gave  the  dreadful  Word  : 
Straight  o'er  her  peopled  Plains  his  Floods  were  pour'd, 
And  o'er  her  Mountains  the  proud  Billows  roar'd. 
Athwart  the  Face  of  Earth  the  Deluge  sweeps, 
And  whelms  the  impious  Nations  in  the  Deeps. 

Again  God  spake and  at  his  pow'rful  Call 

The  raging  Floods  asswage,  the  Waters  fall, 
The  Tempests  hear  his  Voice,  and  straight  obey, 
And  at  his  Thunder's  Roar  they  haste  away  : 
From  off  the  lofty  Mountains  they  subside, 
And  gently  thro'  the  winding  Valleys  glide, 
Till  in  the  spacious  Caverns  of  the  Deep 
They  sink  together,  and  in  Silence  sleep. 
There  he  hath  stretched  abroad  thier  liquid  Plains, 
And  there  Omnipotence  their  Rage  restrains, 
That  Earth  no  more  her  Ruins  may  deplore, 
And  guilty  Mortals  dread  thier  Wrath  no  more. 


fcoor  TCtcbart)  for  1753  aa 

He  bids  the  living  Fountains  burst  the  Ground, 
Vnd  bounteous  spread  their  Silver  Streams  around  : 
x>own  from  the  Hills  they  draw  thier  shining  Train, 
Diffusing  Health  and  Bounty  o'er  the  Plain. 
There  the  fair  Flocks  allay  the  Summer's  Rage, 
And  panting  Savages  their  Flame  asswage, 
On  tiKnr  sweet  winding  Banks  th'  aerial  Race 
In  artless  Numbers  warble  forth  his  Praise, 
Or  chant  the  harmless  Raptures  of  their  Loves, 
And  cheer  the  Plains,  and  wake  the  vocal  Groves. 
Forth  from  his  Treasures  in  the  Skies  he  pours 
His  precious  Blessings  in  refreshing  Show'rs, 
Bach  dying  Plant  with  Joy  new  Life  receives, 
And  thankful  Nature  smiles,  and  Earth  revives. 
The  fruitful  Fields  with  Verdure  he  bespreads, 
The  Table  of  the  Race  that  haunts  the  Meads, 
And  bids  each  Forest,  and  each  flow'ry  Plain 
Send  forth  their  native  Physic  for  the  Swain, 
Thus  doth  the  various  Bounty  of  the  Earth 
Support  each  Species  crowding  into  Birth. 
In  purple  Streams  she  bids  her  Vintage  flow. 
And  Olives  on  her  Hills  luxuriant  grow, 
One  with  its  generous  Juice  to  cheer  the  Heart, 
And  one  illustrious  Beauty  to  impart ; 
And  Bread  of  all  Heav'n's  precious  gifts  the  chief 
From  desolating  Want  the  sure  Relief. 
Which  with  new  Life  the  feeble  Limbs  inspires, 
And  all  the  Man  with  Health  and  Courage  fires. 
The  Cloud-topt  Hills  with  waving  Woods  are  crown 'd, 
Which  wide  extend  thier  sacred  Shades  around, 
There  Lebanon's  proud  Cedars  nod  their  Heads  ; 
There  Bashan's  lofty  Oaks  extend  thier  Shades  : 
The  pointed  Firs  rise  tow1  ring  to  the  Clouds, 
And  Life  and  warbling  Numbers  fill  the  Woods. 

Nor  gentle  Shades  alone,  nor  verdant  Plains, 
Nor  /air  enamell'd  Meads,  nor  flow'ry  Lawns, 


222  fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1753 

But  e'n  rude  Rocks  and  dreary  Desarts  yield 
Retreats  for  the  wild  Wand'rers  of  the  Field. 
The  Pow'r  with  I,ife  and  Sense  all  Nature  fills, 
Each  Element  with  varied  Being  swells, 
Race  after  Race  arising  view  the  Height, 
Then  silent  pass  away,  and  sink  in  Night. 
The  Gift  of  I^ife  thus  boundlessly  bestowed, 
Proclaims  th'  exhaustless  Hand,  the  Hand  of  God. 
Nor  less  thy  Glory  in  th'  etherial  Spheres, 
Nor  less  thy  ruling  Providence  appears. 
There  from  on  high  the  gentle  Moon  by  Night 
In  solemn  Silence  sheds  her  Silver  I4ght, 
And  thence  the  glorious  Sun  pours  forth  his  Beams. 
Thence  copious  spreads  around  his  quick'ning  Streams 
Each  various  Orb  enjoys  the  golden  Day, 
And  Worlds  of  I/ife  hang  on  his  chearful  Ray. 
Thus  lyight  and  Darkness  their  fix'd  Course  maintain, 
And  still  the  kind  Viccisitudes  remain  : 
For  when  pale  Night  her  sable  Curtain  spreads, 
And  wraps  all  Nature  in  her  awful  Shades, 
Soft  Slumbers  gently  seal  each  mortal  Eye, 
Stretch 'd  at  their  Ease  the  weary  I^ab'rers  lie. 
The  restless  Soul  'midst  life's  vain  Tumults  tost, 
Forgets  her  Woes  and  ev'ry  Care  is  lost. 

JANUARY. 

Then  from  their  Dens  the  rav'nous  Monsters  creep, 
Whilst  in  their  Folds  the  harmless  Bestial  sleeps. 
The  furious  I^ion  roams  in  quest  of  Prey, 
To  gorge  his  Hunger  till  the  Dawn  of  Day  ; 
His  hideous  Roar  with  Terror  shakes  the  Wood, 
As  from  his  Maker's  Hand  he  asks  his  Food. 
Again  the  Sun  his  Morning  Beams  displays, 
And  fires  the  eastern  Mountain  with  his  Rays. 

'T  is  against  some  Mens  Principle  to  pay  Interest,  and 
seems  against  others  Interest  to  pay  the  Principal. 


poor  IRfcbarD  for  1753  223 

Philosophy  as  well  as  Foppery  often  changes  Fashion. 

FEBRUARY. 

Before  him  fly  the  Horrors  of  the  Night ; 
He  looks  upon  the  World — and  all  is  lyight. 
Then  the  lone  Wand'rers  of  the  dreary  Waste 
Affrighted  to  their  Holes  return  in  Haste, 
To  Man  give  up  the  World,  his  native  Reign, 
Who  then  resumes  his  Pow'r,  and  rules  the  Plain, 
How  various  are  thy  Works,  Creator  wise  I 
How  to  the  Sight  Beauties  on  Beauties  rise  ! 

Setting  too  Good  an  Example  is  a  kind  of  Slander  sel 
dom  forgiven  ;  't  is  Scandalum  Magnatum. 

A  great  Talker  may  be  no  Fool,  but  he  is  one  that 
relies  on  him. 

MARCH. 

Where  Goodness  worthy  of  a  God  bestows 

His  Gifts  on  all,  and  without  Bounds  o'erflows  ; 

Where  Wisdom  bright  appears,  and  Pow'r  divine, 

And  where  Infinitude  itself  doth  shine  ; 

Where  Excellence  invisible  's  exprest, 

And  in  his  glorious  Works  the  God  appears  confest. 

With  Life  thy  Hand  hath  stocked  this  Earthly  Plain 

Nor  less  the  spacious  Empire  of  the  Main. 

When  Reason  preaches,  if  you  don't  hear  her  she  '11 
box  your  Ears. 
It  is  not  Leisure  that  is  not  used. 


There  the  tall  Ships  the  rolling  Billows  sweep, 
And  bound  triumphant  o'er  the  unfathom'd  Deep. 
There  great  Leviathan  in  regal  Pride, 
The  scaly  Nations  crouding  by  his  Side, 


424          t>oor  Irttcbarfc  for 


Far  in  the  deep  Recesses  of  the  Main 
O'er  Nature's  Wastes  extends  his  boundless  Reign. 
Round  the  dark  Bottoms  of  the  Mountains  roves, 
The  hoary  Deep  swells  dreadful  as  he  moves. 

The  Good-will  of  the  Govern  'd  will  be  starved,  if  not 
fed  by  the  good  Deeds  of  the  Governors. 
Paintings  and  Fightings  are  best  seen  at  a  distance. 


Now  views  the  awful  Throne  of  antient  Night, 
Then  mounts  exulting  to  the  Realms  of  lyight : 
Now  launches  to  the  Deep,  now  stems  the  Shore, 
An  Ocean  scarce  contains  the  wild  Uproar. 
Whate'er  of  I*ife  replenishes  the  Flood, 
Or  walks  the  Earth,  or  warbles  thro'  the  Wood, 
In  Nature's  various  Wants  to  thee  complains. 
The  Hand,  which  gave  the  Life,  the  lyife  sustains. 

If  you  would  reap  Praise  you  must  sow  the  Seeds, 
gentle  Words  and  useful  Deeds. 

Ignorance  leads  Men  into  a  party,  and  Shame  keeps 
them  from  getting  out  again. 

Haste  makes  Waste. 

JUNE. 

To  each  th'  appointed  Sustenance  bestows, 
To  each  the  noxious  and  the  healthful  shows. 
Thou  spread's!  thy  Bounty — meagre  Famine  flies  : 
Thou  hid'st  thy  Face — their  vital  Vigour  dies. 
Thy  pow'rful  Word  again  restores  their  Breath  ; 
Renew'd  Creation  triumphs  over  Death. 
Th'  Almighty  o'er  his  Works  casts  down  his  Eye, 
And  views  their  various  Excellence  with  Joy  ; 


poor  IRicbarfc  for  1753  225 

Many  have  quarrel'd  about  Religion,  that  never  prac 
tised  it. 

Sudden  Pow'r  is  apt  to  be  insolent,  Sudden  Liberty 
saucy  ;  that  behaves  best  which  has  grown  gradually. 

He  that  best  understands  the  World,  least  likes  it. 

JULY. 

His  Works  with  Reverence  own  his  pow'rful  Hand, 
And  humble  Nature  waits  his  dread  Command, 
He  looks  upon  the  Earth— her  Pillars  shake, 
And  from  her  Centre  her  Foundations  quake. 
The  Hills  he  touches -Clouds  of  Smoke  arise, 
And  sulph'rous  Streams  mount  heavy  to  the  Skies. 

Whilst  Life  informs  this  Frame,  that  Life  shall  bt 
(O  First  and  Greatest  !)  sacred  all  to  Thee. 

Anger  is  never  without  a  Reason,  but  seldom  with  a 
good  One. 

He  that  is  of  Opinion  Money  will  do  every  Thing 
may  well  be  suspected  of  doing  every  Thing  for  Money. 

An  ill  Wound,  but  not  an  ill  Name,  may  be  healed. 

AUGUST.* 

When  out  of  Favour,  none  know  thee  ;  when  in,  thou 
dost  not  know  thyself. 

A  lean  Award  is  better  than  a  fat  Judgement. 
God,  Parents,  and  Instructors,  can  never  be  requited. 

SEPTEMBER. 

When  Nature  sinks,  when  Death's  dark  Shades  arise 
And  this  World's  Glories  vanish  from  these  Eyes ; 
Then  may  the  Thought  of  Thee  be  ever  near. 
To  calm  the  Tumult,  and  compose  the  Fear. 

*  August  poetry  wanting  in  copy. 
15 


226          fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1753 


In  all  my  Woes  thy  Favour  my  Defence  ; 

Safe  in  thy  Mercy,  not  my  Innocence, 

And  through  what  future  Scenes  thy  Hand  may  guide 

My  wond'ring  Soul,  and  thro'  what  States  untry'd. 

He  that  builds  before  he  counts  the  Cost,  acts  foolishly  ; 
and  he  that  counts  before  he  builds,  finds  that  he  did  not 
count  wisely. 

Patience  in  Market,  is  worth  Pounds  in  a  year. 

Danger  is  Sauce  for  Prayers. 


What  distant  Seats  soe'ver  I  may  explore. 

When  frail  Mortality  shall  be  no  more  ; 

If  aught  of  meek  or  contrite  in  thy  Sight 

Shall  fit  me  for  the  Realms  of  Bliss  and  I^ight, 

Be  this  the  Bliss  of  all  my  future  Days, 

To  view  thy  Glories,  and  to  sing  thy  Praise. 

When  the  dread  Hour,  ordain 'd  of  old,  shall  come, 

Which  brings  on  stubborn  Guilt  its  righteous  Doom. 

If  you  have  no  Honey  in  your  Pot,  have  some  in  your 
Mouth. 

A  Pair  of  good  IJars  will  drain  dry  an  hundred 
Tongues. 

NOVEMBER. 

When  Storms  of  Fire  on  Sinners  shall  be  pour'd* 
And  all  th'  Obdurate  in  thy  Wrath  devour'd  ; 
May  I  then  hope  to  find  a  lowly  Place 
To  stand  the  meanest  of  th '  etherial  Race  ; 
Swift  at  thy  Word  to  wing  the  liquid  Sky, 
And  on  thy  humblest  Messages  to  fly. 
Howe'er  thy  blissful  Sight  may  raise  my  Soul. 
While  vast  Eternitie's  long  Ages  roll. 


Ifcoor  IRicbarfc  for  1753  227 

Serving  God  is  doing  good  to  Man,  but  praying  is 
thought  an  easier  Service,  and  therefore  more  generally 
chosen. 

Nothing  humbler  than  Ambition,  when  it  is  about  to 
climb. 


Perfection  on  Perfection  tow 'ring- high, 
Glory  on  Glory  rais'd,  and  Joy  on  Joy, 
Each  Pow'r  improving  in  the  bright'ning  Mind, 
To  humble  Virtues,  lofty  Knowledge  join'd  ; 
Be  this  my  highest  Aim,  howe'er  I  soar. 
Before  thy  Footstool  prostrate  to  adore, 
My  brightest  Crown  before  thy  Feet  to  lay, 
My  Pride  to  serve,  my  Glory  to  obey. 

The  discontented  Man  finds  no  easy  Chair. 
Virtue  and  a  Trade,  are  a  Child's  best  Portion. 
Gifts  much  expected,  are  paid,  not  given. 

HOW  TO  SECURE  HOUSES,  &C.  FROM  LIGHTNING. 

It  has  pleased  God  in  his  Goodness  to  Man 
kind,  at  length  to  discover  to  them,  the  Means 
of  securing  their  Habitations  and  other  Build 
ings  from  Mischief  by  thunder  and  lyightning. 
The  Method  is  this  :  Provide  a  small  Iron  Rod 
(it  may  be  of  the  Rod-iron  used  by  the  Nailors) 
but  of  such  a  length,  that  one  End  being  three 
or  four  Feet  in  the  moist  Ground,  the  other 
may  be  six  or  eight  Feet  above  the  highest  Part 
of  the  Building.  To  the  upper  end  of  the  Rod 
fasten  about  a  Foot  of  Brass  Wire,  the  size  of  a 


228          fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1753 

common  Knitting-needle,  sharpened  to  a  fine 
Point ;  the  Rod  may  be  secured  to  the  House 
by  a  few  small  Staples.  If  the  House  or  Barn, 
be  long,  there  may  be  a  Rod  and  Point  at  each 
End,  and  a  middling  Wire  along  the  Ridge 
from  one  to  the  other.  A  house  thus  furnished 
will  not  be  damaged  by  Lightning,  it  being  at 
tracted  by  the  Points,  and  passing  thro'  the 
Metal  into  the  Ground  without  hurting  any 
thing.  Vessels  also,  having  a  sharp  pointed 
Rod  fix'd  on  the  Top  of  their  Masts,  with  a 
Wire  from  the  Foot  of  the  Rod  reaching  down, 
round  one  of  the  Shrouds,  to  the  Water,  will 
not  be  hurt  by  Lightning. 


POOR  RICHARD   FOR    1754. 


PREFACE. 

KIND  READER, 

I  have  now  serv'd  you  three  Apprentice 
ships,  yet,  old  as  I  am,  I  have  no  Inclination  to 
quit  your  Service,  but  should  be  glad  to  be  able  to 
continue  in  it  three  times  three  Apprenticeships 
longer. 

The  first  Astrologers,  I  think,  were  honest 
Husbandmen  ;  and  so  it  seems  are  the  last ; 
for  my  brethren  Jerman  and  Moore,  and  myself, 
the  only  remaining  Almanack  makers  of  this 
Country,  are  all  of  that  Class  :  Tho'  in  inter 
mediate  Times  our  Art  has  been  cultivated  in 
great  Cities,  and  even  in  the  Courts  of  Princes  ; 
Witness  History  from  the  Days  of  King  NEBU 
CHADNEZZAR  I.  of  Babylon,  to  those  of 

Queen  JAMES  I.  of  England. But  you 

will  ask  perhaps,  how  I  prove  that  the  first 


230  poor  IRicbaro  for  1754 

Astrologers  were  Countrymen  ? I  own  this 

is  a  Matter  beyond  the  Memory  of  History,  for 
Astrology  was  before  Letters ;  but  I  prove  it 
from  the  Book  of  the  Heavens,  from  the  Names 
of  the  twelve  Signs,  which  were  mostly  given 
to  remark  some  Circumstance  relative  to  rural 
Affairs,  in  the  several  successive  Months  of  the 
Year,  and  by  that  Means  to  supply  the  Want 

of  Almanacks. Thus,  as  the  Year  of  the 

Ancients  began  most  naturally  with  the  Spring, 
Aries  and  Taurus,  that  is,  the  Ram  and  the  Bull, 
represented  the  successive  Addition  to  their 
Flocks  of  Sheep  and  Kine,  by  their  Produce  in 

that  Season,  Lambs  and  Calves. Gemini 

were  originally  the  Kids,  but  called  the  Twins, 
as  Goats  more  commonly  bring  forth  two  than 

one  :   These  followed  the  Calves. Cancer, 

the  Crab  came  next,  when  that  Kind  of  Fish 

•  were  in  Season. Then  follow'd  Leo,  the 

Lion,  and  Virgo,  the  Wench,  to  mark  the  Sum 
mer  Months,  and  Dog-Days,  when  those  Crea 
tures  were  most  mischievous.  In  Autumn 
comes  first  Libra,  the  Ballance,  to  point  out  the 
Time  for  selling  the  Summer's  Produce;  or 
rather,  a  Time  of  Leisure  for  holding  Courts  of 
Justice  in  which  they  might  plague  themselves 
and  Neighbours  ;  I  know  some  suppose  this  Sign 
to  signify  the  equal  Poise,  at  that  Time  of  Day 
and  Night ;  but  the  other  Signification  is  the 


fcoor  IRicbarfc  for  1754          231 

truer,  as  plainly  appears  by  the  following  Sign 
Scorpio,  or  the  Scorpion,  with  the  Sting  in  his 
Tail,  which  certainly  denotes  the  Paying  of 

Costs. Then  follows  Sagittary,  the  Archer, 

to  show  the  season  of  Hunting ;  for  now  the 
Leaves  being  off  the  Trees  and  Bushes,  the 
Game  might  be  more  easily  seen  and  struck 

with  their  Arrows. The  Goat  accompanys 

the  short  Days  and  long  Nights  of  Winter,  to 
show  the  Season  of  Mirth,  Feasting  and  Jollity  ; 
for  what  can  Capricorn  mean,  but  Dancing  or 
Cutting  of  Capers  ? At  length  comes  Aqua 
rius,  or  the  Water-bearer,  to  show  the  Season 
of  Snows,  Rains  and  Floods ;  and  lastly  Pisces, 
or  the  two  Shads,  to  denote  the  approaching 
Return  of  those  Fish  up  the  Rivers  :  Make 
your  Wears,  hawl  your  Seins  ;  Catch  'em  and 
pickle  'em,  my  Friends ;  they  are  excellent  Rel- 

ishers  of  old  Cyder. But  if  you  can't  get 

Shad,  Mackerell  may  do  better. 

I  know,  gentle  Readers,  that  many  of  you 
always  expect  a  Preface  and  think  yourselves 
slighted  if  that 's  omitted.  So  here  you  have  it, 
and  much  good  may  't  do  ye.  As  little  as  it  is  to 
the  Purpose,  there  are  many  less  so,  now-a-days. 

I  have  left  out,  you  see,  all  the  usual 

Stuff  about  the  Importunity  of  Friends,  and 
the  like,  or  I  might  have  made  it  much  bigger. 
You  think,  however,  that  't  is  big  enough  for 


232  poor  IRicbarD  tor  1754 

Conscience,  for  any  Matter  of  Good  that 's  in  it ; 

I  think  so  too,  if  it  fills  the  Page,  which  is 

the  Needful,  at  present,  from 

Your  loving  Friend  to  serve. 

R.  SAUNDBRS. 

JANUARY. 

Hail,  infinite  CREATOR  1  with  thy  Praise 
The  Muse  began,  with  thee  shall  end  my  I,ays, 
These  are  thy  Works,  blest  Architect  divine  ! 
This  Earth,  and  all  this  beauteous  Offspring  thine 
Thy  Breath  first  bid  inactive  Matter  move, 
And  strait  with  I^ife  the  genial  Atoms  strove 
Producing  Animal,  and  Plant,  and  Flow'r, 
Concurrent  proof  of  Wisdom  and  of  Pow'r. 

The  first  Degree  of  Folly,  is  to  conceit  one's  self  wise  ; 
the  second  to  profess  it ;  the  third  to  despise  Counsel. 

Take  heed  of  the  Vinegar  of  sweet  Wine,  and  the 
Anger  of  Good-nature. 

FEBRUARY. 

Thy  potent  Word  infus'd  the  solar  Light, 
A.nd  spread  the  Curtain  of  refreshing  Night  ; 
With  splendid  Orbs  enrich'd  the  Void  profound, 
Rang'd  the  bright  Worlds,  and  roll'd  their  Courses  round. 
O  sing  his  Praises  then  !  How  justly  due, 
Created  Kinds,  the  Strains  of  Praise  from  You  ? 
How  grateful  the  deserv'd  Returns  of  lyove  ! 
Praise  him  thou  Earth,  ye  Worlds  that  roll  above, 
Each  Pow'r,  whole  Nature,  all  his  Works,  conspire 
Tn  Songs  of  Praise,  an  Universal  Choir. 

The  Bell  calls  others  to  Church,  but  itself  never  minds 
the  Sermon. 


poor  IRtcbarfc  tor  1754          233 

Cut  the  Wings  of  your  Hens  and  Hopes,  lest  they  lead 
you  a  weary  Dance  after  them. 


Thou  SUN,  Creation's  pure  resplendent  Eye  ; 
And  all  ye  solar  Orbs  that  deck  the  Sky, 
Round  whose  vast  System,  peopled  Plane'ts  move. 
Ye  central  Suns  of  numerous  Earths  above. 
Praise  the  dread  Pow'r,  whose  Goodness  ye  proclaim, 
And  let  your  warbling  Spheres  attune  his  Name. 

Thou  Moon,  who  with  thy  Rays  of  silver  lyight, 
Dost  gild  the  shapeless  Gloom  of  awful  Night ; 

In  Rivers  and  bad  Governments,  the  lightest  Things 
swim  at  top . 

The  Cat  in  Gloves  catches  no  Mice. 

APRIL. 

And  you  satillary  Orbs  on  high, 
Who  kindly  Beams  to  distant  Worlds  supply, 
Hymn  your  Creator's  Praise,  whose  Skill  divine 
Impower'd  your  Mass  to  roll,  your  Globes  to  shine. 

Ye  Comets  !  that  in  long  Ellipses  stray, 
Whole  Ages  finishing  your  annual  Way  ; 
Thou  Darkness  !  Nature's  emblematic  Tomb, 
Yield  him  your  Reverence  of  impressive  Gloom, 

In  silent  Praise And  thou  dread  Space  profound, 

Thro'  all  thy  waste  interminable  Bound. 

If  you  'd  know  the  Value  of  Money,  go  and  borrow 
some. 

The  Horse  thinks  one  thing,  and  he  that  saddles  him 
another. 

Love   your   Neighbour;   yet  don't   pull   down    your 
Hedge, 


234  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1754 


Winds  !  who  in  troubled  Air  your  Voices  raise, 
Sweet  with  loud  Accents  in  your  Maker's  Praise  ; 
And  you,  soft  Breezes,  that  perfume  the  Spring, 
Bear  him  a  Tribute  on  your  gentle  Wing. 
Spread  it,  ye  pealing  Thunders,  round  the  Sky, 
Wide  as  your  Vollies  roll,  or  lightnings  fly. 
Ye  Meteors  !  your  Creator's  Praises  show  : 
The  spangled  Dew,  the  Cloud-reflected  Bow, 

When  Prosperity  was  well  mounted,  she  let  go  the 
Bridle,  and  soon  came  tumbling  out  of  the  Saddle. 

Some  make  Conscience  of  wearing  a  Hat  in  the 
Church,  who  make  none  of  robbing  the  Altar. 

JUNE. 

And  moist' ning  Show'r, — ye  Frosts  !  his  Praise  proclaim  ; 
The  pendant  Icicle's  clear  native  Gem  : 
Hoar  Mists  congeal'd,  that  dress  the  Meadow  pale  : 
Blue  Vapour,  whitening  Snows,  and  pearly  Hail. 
Praise  him,  ye  Seasons  !  Spring  with  youthful  Face, 
And  Summer  blooming  with  maturer  Grace  ; 
Ripe  Autumn  clad  in  Vines,  with  Harvests  crown'd, 
And  Winter  old — his  solemn  Praise  resound. 

In  the  Affairs  of  this  World  Men  are  saved,  not  by 
Faith,  but  by  the  Want  of  it. 

Friendship  cannot  live  with  Ceremony,  nor  without 
Civility. 

Praise  little,  dispraise  less. 

JULY. 

The  Flow'ry  Tribes,  in  all  their  bright  Array, 
Thier  lovely  Forms  and  dazzling  Hues  display. 
Ye  fruitful  Branches  !  white  with  vernal  Bloom, 
In  rich  Oblations  breathe  your  fresh  Perfume. 


jpoor  IRicbarfc  tor  1754  235 

Praise  him,  ye  Plants  !  with  all  your  sweet  Supplies  ; 
Ye  od'rous  Herbs,  in  grateful  Incense  rise. 

Insects  !  that  creep  on  Earth,  or  spread  the  Wing, 
In  Troops  your  tributary  Homage  bring. 

The  learned  Fool  writes  his  Nonsense  in  better  lan 
guage  than  the  unlearned  ;  but  still 't  is  Nonsense. 

A  Child  thinks  20  Shillings  and  20  Years  can  scarce 
ever  be  spent. 

AUGUST. 

Fowls  of  the  upper  Air  !  and  Brutes  supirie  ! 
And  Fish  !  that  swim  the  Floods,  or  Ocean  Brine. 
Ye  Seraphims,  bright  flames  !  ye  Angel  Choirs  ! 
To  the  lov'd  Theme  tune  all  your  sounding  I,yres. 
Saints  !  thron'd  in  Bliss,  who  once  convers'd  below, 
In  noblest  Strains  your  loftiest  Praise  bestow. 
Man  !  Image  of  thy  Maker's  moral  Pow'r, 
I,ast,  labour'd  Work  of  Heav'n's  creating  Hour  ; 

Don't  think  so  much  of  your  own  Cunning,  as  to  for 
get  other  Men's  :  A  Cunning  Man  is  overmatched  by  a 
cunning  Man  and  a  Half. 

Willows  are  weak,  but  they  bind  the  Faggot. 

You  may  give  a  Man  an  Office,  but  you  cannot  give 
him  Discretion. 

SEPTEMBER. 

O  shall  his  Goodness,  his  Indulgence  move 
No  warm  Returns,  nor  swell  the  Breath  of  I^ove  ? 
Priest  of  the  mute  Creation,  He  demands 
Thier  Offerings  from  thy  consecrated  Hands, 

Deputed  I^ord  ; from  thy  dead  Slumber  part ; 

I^t  Nature  wake,  awake  the  Pow'rs  of  Art, 

And  with  exerted  Force  attune  his  Praise, 

In  Notes  may  emulate  cselestial  I/ays. 

I^et  Music  her  divinest  Succours  bring, 

The  breathing  Flute,  the  Viols  warbling  String, 


236  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1754 

He  that  doth  what  he  should  not,  shall  feel  what  he 
would  not. 

To  be  intimate  with  a  foolish  Friend,  is  like  going  to 
Bed  to  a  Razor. 

Little  Rogues  easily  become  great  Ones. 

OCTOBER. 

And  dulcit  Voice Ye  Concerts  louder  grow  ! 

I^et  the  shrill  Trump,  the  deep'ning  Organ  blow, 

While  with  the  Notes,  the  tremulating  Ground, 

And  echoing  Roofs,  strike  awful  Rapture  round. 

Praise  him  each  Creature,  Plenitude  and  Space  ; 

Inanimate,  and  Things  of  living  Race. 

From  the  terrestrial  to  the  Starry  Pole, 

Praise  him  his  Works,  and  thou  my  prostrate  Soul  I 

You  may  sometimes  be  much  in  the  wrong,  in  owning 
your  being  in  the  right. 
Friends  are  the  true  Scepters  of  Princes. 
Where  Sense  is  wanting,  everything  is  wanting. 

NOVEMBER. 

Thus  while  in  vain  the  wretched  human  Brood, 
Pursue  on  Earth  a  false,  imagin'd  Good  ; 
That  Good,  which  Creatures  never  can  bestow, 
With  him  still  only  found  from  whom  they  flow  ; 
While  Gold  or  I^ust,  with  a  deceitful  Bribe, 
Tempt  to  sure  Woes  the  easy  list'ning  Tribe  ; 
While  Faction  leads  th'  unsteady  Herd  aside, 
And  Vanity  perverts  the  Son  of  Pride  ; 

Many  Princes  sin  with  David,  but  few  repent  with 
him. 

He  that  hath  no  Ill-Fortune  will  be  troubled  with 
good. 


fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1754          237 

For  Age  and  Want  save  while  you  may ; 
No  morning  Sun  lasts  a  whole  Day. 

DECEMBER. 

Would  I  from  Vice,  from  lyuxury  remove, 
Conversing  with  the  Themes  of  heav'nly  I^ove. 
These  shall  my  Hours  of  Virtuous  I^ife  amuse, 
Cheer  its  dull  Glooms,  and  brighter  Hopes  infuse  ; 
Pleas'd  the  lov'd  Visit  frequent  to  renew, 
While  certain  Bliss  my  rais'd  Desires  pursue, 
To  meditate  my  Maker,  and  my  I,ays 
Tune  to  his  Pow'r  who  gave  me  Breath  to  praise. 

^earning  to  the   Studious ;    Riches   to  the  Careful  : 
Power  to  the  Bold ;  Heaven  to  the  Virtuous. 
Now  glad  the  Poor  with  Christmas  Cheer  ; 
Thank  God  you  're  able  so  to  end  the  Year. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1755. 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

It  is  a  common  saying,  that  One  Half  of 
the  World  does  not  know  how  the  other  Half  lives. 
To  add  somewhat  to  your  knowledge  in  that 
Particular,  I  gave  you  in  a  former  Almanack, 
an  Account  of  the  manner  of  living  at  Hudson*  s- 
Bay,  and  the  Effects  produced  by  the  excessive 
Cold  of  that  Climate,  which  seetn'd  so  strange  to 
some  of  you,  that  it  was  taken  for  a  Romance,  tho' 

really  authentick. In  this,  I  shall  give  you 

some  idea  of  a  Country  under  the  Torrid  Zone, 
which  for  the  Variety  of  its  Weather  (where  one 
would  naturally  expect  the  greatest  Uniformity) 
»s  extreamly  remarkable.  The  Account  is  ex 
tracted  from  the  Journal  of  Monsieur  Bouguer, 
one  of  the  French  Academicians,  sent  by  their 
King  to  measure  a  Degree  of  latitude  under 
238 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1755  239 

the  Equinoctial,  in  order  to  settle  a  Dispute 
between  the  English  and  French  Philosophers 
concerning  the  Shape  of  the  Earth,  others 
being  at  the  same  Time  sent  for  the  same  Pur 
pose  to  Lapland,  under  the  Polar  Circle.  -  -  - 
The  Mountains  in  that  Country  are  so  lofty,  that 
the  highest  we  have,  being  compared  to  them, 
are  mere  Mole-hills.  This  Extract  relates 
chiefly  to  the  Country  among  those  Mountains. 
The  Method  of  this  Almanack  is  the  same  I 
have  observed  for  some  Years  past ;  only  in  the 
third  Column  the  names  of  some  of  the  principal 
fixed  Stars  are  put  down  against  those  Days  on 
which  they  come  to  the  Meridian  at  nine  a 
Clock  in  the  Evening,  whereby  those  unac 
quainted,  may  learn  to  know  them.  I  am, 
Your  obliged  Friend  and  Servant, 

R.  SAUNDERS. 

THE  HAPPY  MAN. 

Sure  Peace  is  his  :  A  solid  Life,  estranged 
To  Disappointment  and  fallacious  Hope, 
Rich  in  Content.  THOMSON 

Happy  the  man,  who  free  from  noisy  Sports, 
And  all  the  Pomp  and  Pageantry  of  Courts  : 
Far  from  the  venal  World  can  live  secure, 

Be  moral,  honest,  virtuous tho'  but  poor, 

Who  walking  still  by  Equity's  just  Rules, 
Detesting  sordid  knaves,  and  flattering  Fools  : 
Regarding  neither  Fortune,  Pow'r,  nor  State 
Nor  ever  wishing  to  be  vainly  great. 


240  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1755 

Without  Malevolence  and  Spleen  can  live, 

And  what  his  neighbour  wants,  with  Joy  would  give 

A  Foe  to  Pride,  no  Passion's  guilty  Friend, 

Obeying  Nature,  faithful  to  her  E)nd  ; 

Severe  in  Manners,  as  in  Truth  severe, 

Just  to  himself,  and  to  his  Friends  sincere  ; 

His  temper  even,  and  his  steady  Mind 

Refin'd  by  Friendship,  and  by  Books  refin'd. 

Some  low  roof'd  Cottage  holds  the  happy  Swain, 

Unknown  to  L,ux'ry,  or  her  servile  Train  ; 

He  studying  Nature  grows  serenely  wise, 

l,ike  Socrates  he  lives,  or  like  him  dies. 

He  asks  no  Glory  gain'd  by  hostile  Arms, 

Nor  sighs  for  Grandeur  with  her  pointed  Charms. 

With  calm  IndifPrence  views  the  shifting  Scene, 

Thro'  all  magnanimous,  resign'd,  serene. 

On  Hope  sustain'd  he  treads  life's  devious  Road, 

And  knows  no  Fear,  except  the  Fear  of  GOD. 

Would  Heav'n  indulgent  grant  my  fond  Desire, 

Thus  would  I  live,  and  thus  should  L/ife  expire. 

EPITAPH  ON  A  WORTHY  CLERGYMAN. 

Still  like  his  Master,  known  by  breaking  Bread, 
The  Good  he  entertained,  the  needy  fed  ; 
Of  Humour  easy,  and  of  Life  unblam'd, 
The  Friend  delighted,  while  the  Priest  reclaimed 
The  Friend,  the  Father,  and  the  Husband  gone, 
The  Priest  still  lives  in  this  recording  Stone  ; 
Where  pious  Eyes  may  read  his  Praises  o'er, 
And  learn  each  Grace  his  Pulpit  taught  before. 

EPITAPH  ON  ANOTHER  CLERGYMAN. 

Here  lies,  who  need  not  here  be  nam'd, 
For  Theologic  Knowledge  f am1  d ; 
Who  all  the  Bible  had  by  rote, 
With  all  the  Comments  Calvin  wrote: 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1755  24* 

Parsons  and  Jesuits  could  confute, 
Talk  Infidels  and  Quakers  mute, 
To  every  Heretick  afoe; 
Was  he  an  honest  man  ?  -  -  -  -  So,  so. 

JANUARY. 

The  Farmer. 

O  happy  he  1  happiest  of  mortal  men  ! 

Who  far  remov'd  from  Slavery,  as  from  Pride, 

Fears  no  Man's  Frown,  nor  cringing  -waits  to  catch 

The  gracious  nothing  of  a  great  Man's  Nod  ; 

Where  the  lac'd  Beggar  bustles  for  a  Bride, 

The  Purchase  of  his  Honour  ;  where  Deceit, 

And  Fraud,  and  Circumvention,  drest  in  Smiles. 

A  Man  without  a  Wife,  is  but  half  a  Man. 

Speak  little,  do  much. 

He  that  would  travel  much,  should  eat  little. 

FEBRUARY, 

Hold  shameful  Commerce,  and  beneath  the  Mask 

Of  Friendship  and  Sincerity,  betray. 

Him,  nor  the  stately  Mansion's  gilded  Pride, 

Rich  with  whate'er  the  imitative  Arts, 

Painting  or  Sculpture,  yield  to  charm  the  Eye  ; 

Nor  shining  Heaps  of  massy  Plate,  enwrought 

With  curious,  costly  Workmanship,  allure. 

Tempted  nor  with  the  Pride  nor  Pomp  of  Power, 
When  the  Wine  enters,  out  goes  the  Truth. 
If  you  would  be  loved,  love  and  be  loveable. 

MARCH. 

Nor  Pageants  of  Ambition,  nor  the  Mines 
Of  grasping  Av'rice,  nor  the  poison'd  Sweets 
Of  pamper'd  I^uxury,  he  plants  his  Foot 
With  Firmness  on  his  old  paternal  Fields, 
16 


242          poor  IRfcbart  for  1755 

And  stands  unshaken.    There  sweet  Prospects  rise 
Of  Meadows  smiling  in  their  flow'ry  Pride, 
Green  Hills  and  Dales,  and  Cottages  embower'd, 
The  Scenes  of  Innocence,  and  calm  Delight. 

Ask  and  have,  is  sometimes  dear  buying. 
The  hasty  Bitch  brings  forth  blind  Puppies. 


There  the  wild  Melody  of  warbling  Birds, 

And  cool  refreshing  Groves,  and  murmuring  Springs, 

Invite  to  sacred  Thought,  and  lift  the  Mind 

From  low  Pursuits,  to  meditate  the  God  ! 

RURAL  LIFE  IN  AN  HIGHER  CLASS. 

But  sing,  O  Muse  !  the  Swain,  the  happy  Swain, 
Whom  Taste  and  Nature  leading  o'er  his  Fields, 

Where  there  is  Hunger,  I,aw  is  not  regarded ;   and 
where  L,aw  is  not  regarded,  there  will  be  Hunger. 
Two  dry  Sticks  will  burn  a  green  One. 

MAY. 

Conduct  to  every  rural  Beauty.    See ! 
Before  his  Footsteps  winds  the  waving  Walk, 
Here  gently  rising,  there  descending  flow 
Thro'  the  tall  Grove,  or  near  the  Water's  Brink, 
Where  Flow'rs  besprinkled  paint  the  shelving  Bank 
And  weeping  Willows  bend  to  kiss  the  Stream. 
Now  wand'ring  o'er  the  I,awn  he  roves,  and  now 
Beneath  the  Hawthorn's  secret  Shade  reclines  ; 

The  honest  Man  takes  Pains,  and  then  enjoys  Pleas 
ures  ;  the  knave  takes  Pleasure,  and  then  suffers  Pains. 

Think  of  three  Things,  whence  you  came,  where  you 
are  going,  and  *o  whom  you  must  account 


poor  IRtcbarS  for  1755  245 

JUNE. 

Where  purple  Violets  hang  their  bashful  Heads, 
Where  yellow  Cowslips,  and  the  blushing  Pink, 
Their  mingled  Sweets,  and  lovely  Hues  combine. 
Here,  shelter'd  from  the  North,  his  ripening  Fruits 
Display  their  sweet  Temptations  from  the  Wall, 
Or  from  the  gay  Espalier  ;  while  below, 
His  various  Esculence,  from  glowing  Beds, 
Give  the  Fair  Promise  of  delicious  Feasts. 

Necessity  has  no  Law  ;  Why  ?    Because  't  is  not  to  be 
had  without  Money. 

There  was  never  a  good  knife  made  of  bad  Steel. 
The  Wolf  sheds  his  Coat  once  a  Year,  his  Disposition 

never. 

JULY. 

There  from  his  forming  Hand  new  Scenes  arise, 
The  fair  Creation  of  his  Fancy's  Eye. 
I,o  !  bosom'd  in  the  solemn  shady  Grove, 
Whose  rev'rend  Branches  wave  on  yonder  Hill, 
He  views  the  Moss-grown  Temple's  ruin'd  Tower, 
Cover'd  with  creeping  Ivy's  cluster'd  Leaves, 
The  Mansion  seeming  of  some  rural  God, 
Whom  Nature's  Chorister's,  in  untaught  Hymns 

Who  is  wise  ?    He  that  learns  from  every  One. 
Who  is  powerful  ?    He  that  governs  his  Passions. 
Who  is  rich  ?    He  that  is  content. 
Who  is  that  ?    Nobody. 

AUGUST. 

Of  wild  yet  sweetest  Harmony,  adore. 
From  the  bold  Brow  of  that  aspiring  Steep, 
Where  hang  the  nibbling  Flocks,  and  view  below, 
Their  downward  Shadows  in  the  glassy  Wave, 
What  pleasing  Landscapes  spread  before  his  Eye. 
Of  scatter'd  Villages,  and  winding  Streams, 


244  poor  Uttcbarfc  for  1755 

And  meadows  green,  and  Woods,  and  distant  Spires, 
Seeming,  above  the  blue  Horizon's  Bound, 

A  full  Belly  brings  forth  every  Evil. 

The  Day  is  short,  the  Work  great,  the  Workman  lazy, 
the  Wages  high,  the  Master  urgeth  ;  Up,  then,  and  be 
doing. 

The  doors  of  Wisdom  are  never  shut. 

SEPTEMBER. 

To  prop  the  Canopy  of  Heaven.     Now  lost 

Amidst  a  blooming  Wilderness  of  Shrubs, 

The  golden  Orange,  Arbute  evergreen, 

The  early  blooming  Almond,  feathery  Pine, 

Fair  Opulus,*  to  Spring,  to  Autumn  dear, 

And  the  sweet  Shades  of  varying  Verdure,  caught. 

Much  Virtue  in  Herbs,  little  in  Men. 
The  Master's  Eye  win  do  more  Work  than  both  his 
Hands. 

When  you  taste  Honey,  remember  Gall. 

OCTOBER. 

From  soft  Acacia's  gently  waving  Branch, 
Heedless  he  wanders  ;  while  the  grateful  Scents 
Of  Sweet-briar,  Roses,  Honeysuckles  wild, 
Regale  the  Smell ;  and  to  th'  enchanted  Eye 
Mezareoris  purple  Laurustinus'  white, 
And  pale  Laburnum's  pendent  Flow'rs  display 
Their  diff 'rent  Beauties.  O'er.the  smooth  shorn  Grass 
His  lingering  Footsteps  leisurely  proceed, 

Being  ignorant  is  not  so  much  a  Shame,  as  being  un 
willing  to  learn. 

God  gives  all  Things  to  Industry. 

An  hundred  Thieves  cannot  strip  one  naked  Man. 
especially  if  his  Skin's  off. 

*  The  Gelder  Rose. 


Ipoor  IRlcbarD  for  1755  245 

NOVEMBER. 

In  Meditation  deep  :— When,  hark  !  the  Sound 

Of  Distant  Water  steals  upon  his  Ejar  ; 

And  sudden  opens  to  his  pausing  F*ye 

The  rapid  rough  Cascade,  from  the  rude  Rock 

Down  dashing  in  a  Stream  of  lucid  Foam  : 

Then  glides  away,  meand'ring  o'er  the  I^awn, 

A  liquid  Surface  ;  shining  seen  afar, 

At  Intervals,  beneath  the  shadowy  Trees ; 

Diligence  overcomes  Difficulties,  Sloth  makes  them. 
Neglect  mending  a  small  Fault,  and  't  will  soon  be  a 
great  One. 
Bad  Gains  are  truly  Bosses. 

DECEMBER. 

Till  lost  and  bury'd  in  the  distant  Grove. 
Wrapt  into  sacred  Musing,  he  reclines 
Beneath  the  Covert  of  embow'ring  Shades ; 
And,  painting  to  his  Mind  the  bustling  Scenes 
Of  Pride  and  bold  Ambition,  pities  Kings. 

A  long  I,ife  may  not  be  good  enough,  but  a  good  lyife 
is  long  enough. 

Be  at  War  with  your  Vices,  at  Peace  with  your  Neigh 
bours,  and  let  every  New- Year  find  you  a  better  Man. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1756. 


PREFACE. 

COURTKOUS  READER, 

I  suppose  my  Almanack  may  be  worth  tlie 
Money  thou  hadst  paid  for  it,  hadst  thou  no  other 
Advantage  from  it,  than  to  find  the  Day  of  the 
Month,  the  remarkable  Days,  the  Changes  of 
the  Moon,  the  Sun  and  Moons  Rising  and  Set 
ting,  and  to  foreknow  the  Tides  and  the 
Weather  ;  these,  with  other  Astronomical  Curi 
osities,  I  have  yearly  and  constantly  prepared 
for  thy  Use  and  Entertainment,  during  now 
near  two  Revolutions  of  the  Planet  Jupiter. 
But  I  hope  this  is  not  all  the  Advantage  thou 
hast  reaped  ;  for  with  a  View  to  the  Improve 
ment  of  thy  Mind  and  thy  Estate,  I  have 
constantly  interspers'd  in  every  little  Vacancy, 
Moral  Hints,  Wise  Sayings,  and  Maxims  of 


poor  IRicbarD  for  175$          247 

Thrift,  tending  to  impress  the  Benefits  aris 
ing  from  Honesty,  Sobriety,  Industry  and  Fru 
gality  ;  which  if  those  hast  duly  observed,  it  is 
highly  probable  thou  art  wiser  and  richer  many 
fold  more  than  the  Fence  my  Labours  have  cost 
thee.  Howbeit,  I  shall  not  therefore  raise  my 
Price  because  thou  art  better  able  to  pay  ;  but 
being  thankful  for  past  Favours,  shall  endeavor 
to  make  my  little  Book  more  worthy  thy  Re 
gard,  by  adding  to  those  Recipes  which  were 
intended  to  Cure  the  Mind,  some  valuable 
Ones  regarding  the  Health  of  the  Body.  They 
are  recommended  by  the  skilful,  and  by  suc 
cessful  Practice.  I  wish  a  Blessing  may  attend 
the  Use  of  them,  and  to  thee  all  Happiness, 
being 

Thy  obliged  Friend, 

R.  SAUNDBRS. 

JANUARY. 

ASTRONOMY,  hail,  Science  heavenly  born  ! 
Thy  Schemes,  the  Ijfe  assist,  the  Mind  adorn. 
To  changing  Seasons  give  determin'd  Space, 
And  fix  to  Hours  and  Years  their  measur'd  Race 
The  point'ng  Dial,  on  whose  figur'd  Plane, 
Of  Times  still  Flight  we  Notices  obtain  ; 
The  Pendulum,  dividing  lesser  Parts, 
Their  Rise  acquire  from  thy  inventive  Arts. 

A  Change  of  Fortune  hurts  a  wise  Man  no  more  than 
a  Change  of  the  Moon. 


243  jpoor  IRicbarD  for  1756 


FEBRUARY. 

th'  acute  Geographer,  th'  Historian  sage 

By  thy  Discov'ries  clear  the  doubtful  Page 

From  marked  Eclipses,  Longitude  perceive, 

Can  settle  Distances,  and  ^ra's  give. 

Prom  his  known  Shore  the  Seaman  distant  far 

Steers  safely  guided  by  thy  Polar  Star  ; 

Nor  errs,  when  Clouds  and  Storms  obscure  its  Ray, 

His  Compass  marks  him  as  exact  a  Way. 

Does  Mischief,  Misconduct,  and  Warning  displease  ye  ; 
Think  there  's  a  Providence  '  t  will  make  ye  easy. 
Mine  is  better  than  Ours. 


When  frequent  Travels  had  th'  instructive  Chart 

Supply'd  the  Prize  of  Philosophic  Art ! 

Two  curious  mimic  Globes,  to  Crown  the  Plan, 

Were  form'd  ;  by  his  CREATOR'S  Image,  Man. 

The  First,  with  Heav'ns  bright  Constellation  vast, 

Rang'd  on  the  Surface,  with  th'  Earth's  Climes  the  last 

Copy  of  this  by  human  Race  possest 

Which  I^ands  indent,  and  spacious  Seas  invest. 

I/ove  your  Enemies,  for  they  tell  you  your  Faults. 
He  that  has  a  Trade  has  an  Office  of  Profit  and  Honour. 

The  Wit  of  Conversation  consists  more  in  finding  it  in 
others,  than  shewing  a  great  deal  yourself.  He  who 
goes  out  of  your  Company  pleased  with  his  own  Face- 
tiousness  and  Ingenuity,  will  the  sooner  come  into  it 
again.  Most  men  had  rather  please  than  admire  you, 
and  seek  less  to  be  instructed  and  diverted,  than  approved 
and  applauded,  and  it  is  certainly  the  most  delicate  Sort 
of  Pleasure,  to  please  another. 


poor  IRicbarfc  for  1756  249 

But  that  sort  of  Wit,  which  employs  itself  insolently 
in  Criticizing  and  Censuring  the  Words  and  Sentiments 
of  others  in  Conversation,  is  absolute  Folly;  for  it  an 
swers  none  of  the  Bnds  of  Conversation.  He  who  uses 
it  neither  improves  others,  is  improved  himself,  or  pleases 
any  one. 

APRIL. 

Fram'd  on  imaginary  Poles  to  move, 
With  I^ines  and  different  Circles  mark'd  above, 
The  pleasur'd  Sense,  by  this  Machine  can  tell, 
In  what  Position  various  Nations  dwell : 
Round  the  wide  Orb's  exterior  Surface  spread  ; 
How  side-ways  some  the  solid  Convex  tread  : 
While  a  more  sever'd  Race  of  busy  Pow'rs 
Project,  with  strange  Reverse,  their  Feet  to  ours. 

Be  civil  to  all ;  sociable  to  many ;  familiar  with  few ; 
Friend  to  one  ;  enemy  to  none. 
Vain-glory  flowereth,  but  beareth  no  Fruit. 

As  I  spent  some  Weeks  last  Winter,  in  visiting  my  old 
Acquaintance  in  the  Jerseys,  great  Complaints  I  heard  for 
Want  of  money,  and  that  leave  to  make  more  Paper  Bills 
could  not  be  obtained.  Friends  and  Countrymen,  my  Ad 
vice  on  this  Head  shall  cost  you  nothing,  and  if  you  will 
not  be  angry  with  me  for  giving  it,  I  promise  you  not  to 
be  offended  if  you  do  not  take  it. 

You  spend  yearly  at  least  two  hundred  thousand  pounds , 
it  is  said,  in  Kuropean,  Bast-Indian  and  West-Indian 
commodities.  Supposing  one  half  of  this  expense  to  be 
in  things  absolutely  necessary,  the  other  half  may  be 
called  superfluities,  or,  at  best,  conveniences,  which, 
however,  you  might  live  without  for  one  little  year,  and 
not  suffer  exceedingly.  Now  to  save  this  half,  observe 
these  few  directions ; 


250  jpoor  IRicbarD  for  1756 

1.  When  you  incline  to  have  new  clothes,  look  first 
well  over  the  old  ones,  and  see  if  you  cannot  shift  with 
them  another  year,  either  by  scouring,  mending,  or  even 
patching  if  necessary.     Remember,   a  patch   on  your 
coat,   and  money  in  your  pocket,    is  better  and  more 
creditable,  than  a  writ  on  your  back,  and  no  money  to 
take  it  off. 

2.  When    you  incline  to  buy  China    ware,    Chinees, 
India  silks,  or  any  other  of  their  flimsy,  slight  manufac 
tures,  I  would  not  be  so  hard  with  you,  as  to  insist  on 
your  absolutely  resolving  against  it ;  all  I  advise  is,  to  put 
it  off  (as  you  do  your  repentance)  till  another  year,  and 
this,   in  some  respects,    may  prevent  an  occasion   for 
repentance. 

3.  If  you  are  now  a  drinker  of  punch,  wine  or  tea, 
twice  a  day,  for  the  ensuing  year  drink  them  but  once  a 
day.    If  you  now  drink  them  but  once  a  day,  do  it  but 
every  other  day.     If  you    now  do  it  but  once  a  week, 
reduce  the  practice  to  once  a  fortnight.     And,  if  you  do 
not  exceed  in  quantity  as  you  lessen  the  times,  half  your 
expense  in  these  articles  will  be  saved. 

4.  When  you  incline  to  drink  rum,  fill  the  glass  half 
with  water. 

Thus  at  the  year's  end,  there  will  be  a  hundred  thou 
sand  pounds  more  money  in  your  country. 

If  paper  money  in  ever  so  great  a  quantity  could  be 
made,  no  man  could  get  any  of  it  without  giving  some 
thing  for  it.  But  all  he  saves  in  this  way,  will  be  his  own 
for  nothing,  and  his  country  actually  so  much  richer. 
Then  the  merchant's  old  and  doubtful  debts  may  be 
honestly  paid  off,  and  trading  become  surer  thereafter, 
f  not  so  extensive. 


So  on  the  Apple's  smooth  suspended  Ball, 
(If  greater  we  may  represent  by  small) 


Ipoor  IRfcbarD  for  1756  251 

The  swarming  Flies  their  reptile  Tribes  divide, 

And  cling  Antipodal  on  every  side. 

Hence  pleasant  Problems  may  the  mind  discern 

Of  ev'ry  Soil  their  length  of  Days  to  learn  ; 

Can  tell  when  round,  to  each  fix'd  Place,  shall  come 

Faint  Dawn,  Meridian  lyight,  or  Midnight  Gloom. 

I^aws  too  gentle  are  seldom  obeyed  ;  too  severe,  seldom 
executed. 

Trouble  springs  from  Idleness  ;  Toil  from  Kase. 
I/ove  and  be  loved. 

JUNE. 

These  gifts  to  astronomic  Art  we  owe, 
Its  Use  extensive,  yet  its  Growth  by  slow. 
If  back  we  look  on  ancient  Sages  Schemes, 
They  seem  ridiculous  as  Childrens  Dreams  ; 
How  shall  the  Church,  that  boasts  unerring  Truth, 
Blush  as  the  Raillery  of  each  modern  Youth. 
When  told  her  Pope,  of  Heresy  arraign'd 
The  Sage,  who  garth's  Rotation  once  rnaintain'd? 

A  wise  Man  will  desire  no  more  than  what  he  may  get 
justly,  use  soberly,  distribute  chearfully  and  leave  con 
tentedly. 

The  diligent  Spinner  has  a  large  Shift. 

JULY. 

Vain  Epicurus,  and  his  frantic  Class, 
Misdeem'd  our  Globe  a  plane  quadrangle  Mass  ; 
A  fine  romantic  Terras,  spread  in  Slate, 
On  central  Pillars  that  support  its  Weight 
I,ike  Indian  Sophs,  who  this  terrestrial  Mould 
Affirm,  four  sturdy  FJephants  uphold. 
The  Sun,  new  every  morn,  flat,  small  of  Size, 
Just  what  it  measures  to  the  naked  Byes. 


252  poor  TRtcbarD  for  1756 

A  false  Friend  and  a  Shadow  attend  only  while  the 
Sun  shines. 

To-morrow  every  Fault  is  to  be  amended  ;  but  that  To 
morrow  never  comes. 

It  is  observable  that  God  has  often  called  Men  to 
Places  of  Dignity  and  Honour,  when  they  have  been 
busy  in  the  honest  Employment  of  their  Vocation. 
Saul  was  seeking  his  Father's  Asses,  and  David  keeping 
his  Father's  Sheep,  when  called  to  the  kingdom.  The 
Shepherds  were  feeding  their  Flocks,  when  they  had 
their  glorious  Revelation.  God  called  the  four  Apostles 
from  their  Fishery,  and  Matthew  from  the  Receipt  of 
Custom  ;  Amos  from  among  the  Horsemen  of  Tekoah, 
Moses  from  keeping  Jethro's  Sheep,  Gideon  from  the 
Threshing  Floor,  etc.  God  never  encourages  Idleness, 
and  despises  not  Persons  in  the  meanest  Employments. 


As  pos'd  the  Stagyrite's  dark  School  appears, 
Perplex'd  with  Tales  devis'd  of  Chrystal  Spheres 
Strange  solid  Orbs,  and  Circles  oddly  fram'd 
Who  with  Philosophy  their  Reveries  nam'd. 
How  long  did  Ptolmfs  dark  Riddle  spread 
With  Doubts  deep  puzzling  each  scholastic  Head 
Till,  like  the  Theban  wise  in  story  fam'd, 
COPBNICUS  that  Sphynxian  Monster  sham'd. 

Plough  deep  while  Sluggard  sleep  ; 

And  you  shall  have  Corn  to  sell  and  to  keep. 

He  that  sows  Thorns  should  never  go  barefoot. 


He  the  true  Planetary  system  taught, 

Which  the  learn'd  Samian  first  from  Egypt  brought; 


poor  HMcbarfc  for  1756  253 

L,ong  from  the  World  conceal'd,  in  Error  lost, 
Whose  rich  Recovery  latest  Times  shall  boast. 
Then  TYCHO  rose,  who  with  incessant  Pains, 
In  their  due  Ranks  replac'd  the  stony  Trains 
His  Labours  by  a  fresh  Industry  mov'd, 
Helvelius,  Flamstead,  Halley,  since  improv'd. 

Laziness  travels  so  slowly  that  Poverty  soon  overtakes 
him. 

Sampson  with  his  strong  Body,  had  a  weak  Head,  or 
he  would  not  have  laid  it  in  a  Harlot's  lap. 


The  Lyncean  GALILEO  then  aspires 
Thro'  the  rais'd  Tube  to  mark  the  Stellar  fires  I 
The  Gallaxy  with  clustering  Lights  overspread, 
The  new-nam'd  Stars  in  bright  Orions  Head, 
The  varying  Phases  circling  Planets  show 
The  Solar  Spots,  his  Fame  was  first  to  know. 
Qtjoves  Attendants,  Orbs  till  then  unknown, 
Himself  the  big  discovery  claims  alone. 

When  a  Friend  deals  with  a  Friend,  Let  the  bargain  be 
clear  and  well  penn'd,  That  they  may  continue  Friends 
to  the  End. 

He  that  never  eats  too  much,  will  never  be  lazy. 

NOVEMBER. 

Cassini  next,  and  Huygens,  like  renown'd, 

The  moons  and  wondrous  Ring  of  Saturn  found 

Sagacious  KEPLER,  still  advancing  saw 

The  elliptic  motion,  Natures  plainest  Law, 

That  Universal  acts  thro'  every  Part. 

This  laid  the  Basis  of  Newtonian  Art. 

NEWTON  !  vast  mind  !  whose  piercing  Pow'rs  apply 'd 


254  fcoor  IRtcbarfc  for  1756 

The  secret  Cause  of  Motion  first  descry 'd  ; 
Found  Gravitation  was  the  primal  Spring 
That  wheel'd  the  Planets  round  their  central  King. 

To  be  proud  of  Knowledge,  is  to  be  blind  with  lyight ; 
To  be  proud  of  Virtue,   is  to  poison  yourself  with  the 
Antidote. 

Get  what  you  can,  and  what  you  get,  hold  ; 

Tis  the  Stone  that  will  turn  all  your  I^ead  into  Gold. 

There  is  really  a  great  Difference  in  Things  sometimes 
where  there  seems  to  be  but  little  Distinction  in 
Names.  The  Man  of  Honour  is  an  internal,  the  Person 
of  Honour  an  external,  the  one  a  real,  the  other  a  fic 
titious,  Character.  A  Person  of  Honour  may  be  a  profane 
libertine,  penurious,  proud,  may  insult  his  inferiors, 
and  defraud  his  Creditors ;  but  it  is  impossible  for  a 
Man  of  Honour  to  be  guilty  of  any  of  these.  The  Person 
of  Honour  may  flatter  for  Court  Favours,  or  cringe  for 
Popularity ;  he  may  be  for  or  against  his  Country's 
Good,  as  it  suits  his  private  Views.  But  the  M*n  of 
Honour  can  do  none  of  these. 

DECEMBER. 

Mysterious  Impulse  !  that  more  clear  to  know 

Exceeds  the  finite  Reach  of  Art  below. 

Forbear,  bold  mortal !  't  is  an  impious  Aim 

Own  God  immediate  acting  thro'  the  frame. 

Tis  He,  unsearchable,  in  all  resides  ; 

He  the  FIRST  CAUSE  their  Operations  guides 

Fear  on  his  awful  Privacy  to  press 

But,  honouring  HIM,  thy  Ignorance  confess. 

An  honest  Man  will  receive  neither  Money  nor  Praise 
that  is  not  his  due. 


poor  IRicbard  for  1756  255 

Saying  and  Doing  have  quarrel 'd  and  parted. 
Tell  me  my  Faults,  and  mend  your  own. 

Well,  my  friend,  thou  art  just  entering-  the  last  Month 
of  another  year.  If  thou  art  a  Man  of  Business,  and  of 
prudent  Care,  be  like  thou  wilt  now  settle  thy  accounts, 
to  satisfy  thyself  whether  thou  has  gain'd  or  lost  in  the 
Year  past,  and  how  much  of  either,  the  better  to  regulate 
thy  future  Industry  or  thy  common  Expenses.  This  is 
commendable — But  it  is  not  all. — Wilt  thou  not  examine 
also  thy  moral  Accompts,  and  see  what  improvements 
thou  hast  made  in  the  Conduct  of  I,ife,  what  Vice  sub 
dued,  what  Virtue  acquired  ;  how  much  better,  and  how 
much  wiser,  as  well  as  how  much  richer  thou  art  grown  ? 
What  shall  it  profit  a  Man,  if  he  gain  the  whole  World, 
but  lose  his  own  Soul.  Without  some  Care  in  this  Matter, 
tho'  thou  may'st  come  to  count  thy  thousands,  thou  wilt 
possibly  still  appear  poor  in  the  Eyes  of  the  Discerning^ 
sven  here,  and  be  really  so  for  ever  hereafter. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  1757. 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

As  no  temporal  Concern  is  of  more  Impor 
tance  to  us  than  Health,  and  that  depends  so 
much  on  the  Air  we  every  Moment  breathe,  the 
Choice  of  a  good  wholesome  Situation  to  fix  a 
Dwelling  in,  is  a  very  serious  Affair  to  every 
Countryman  about  to  begin  the  World,  and  well 
worth  his  Consideration,  especially  as  not  only 
the  Comfort  of  Living,  but  even  the  Necessaries 
of  Life,  depend  in  a  great  Measure  upon  it ; 
since  a  Family  frequently  sick  can  rarely  if  ever 
thrive.  -  -  -  -  The  following  Extracts  there 
fore  from  a  late  Medical  Writer,  Dr.  Pringle,  on 
that  Subject,  will,  I  hope,  be  acceptable  and 
useful  to  some  of  my  Readers. 

I  hear  that  some  have  already,  to  their  great 
Advantage,  put  in  Practice  the  Use  of  Oxen 
recommended  in  my  last.  -  -  -  -  'T  is  a  Pleasure 


poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1757  257 

to  me  to  be  in  any  way  serviceable  in  commu 
nicating  useful  Hints  to  the  Publick  ;  and  I 
shall  be  obliged  to  others  for  affording  me  the 
Opportunity  of  enjoying  that  Pleasure  more 
frequently,  by  sending  me  from  time  to  time 
such  of  their  own  Observations,  as  may  be  ad 
vantageous  if  published  in  the  Almanack. 
I  am  thy  obliged  Friend, 

RICHARD  SAUNDERS. 

How  to  make  a  STRIKING  SUNDIAL,  by 
which  not  only  a  Man's  own  Family,  but  all  his 
Neighbours  for  ten  Miles  round,  may  know 
what  a  Clock  it  is,  when  the  Sun  shines,  with 
out  seeing  the  Dial. 

Chuse  an  open  Place  in  your  Yard  or  Garden, 
on  which  the  Sun  may  shine  all  Day  without 
any  Impediment  from  Trees  or  Buildings.  On 
the  Ground  mark  out  your  Hour  Lines,  as  for  a 
horizontal  Dial,  according  to  Art,  taking  Room 
enough  for  the  Guns.  On  the  Line  for  One 
o'Clock,  place  one  Gun  ;  on  the  Two  o' Clock 
Line  two  Guns,  and  so  of  the  rest.  The  Guns 
must  all  be  charged  with  Powder,  but  Ball  is 
unnecessary.  Your  Gnomon  or  Style  must 
have  twelve  burning  Glasses  anrex't  to  it,  and 
be  so  placed  that  the  Sun  shining  through  the 
Glasses,  one  after  the  other,  shall  cause  the 
focus  or  burning  Spot  to  fall  on  the  Hour  Line 
17 


2s8  poor  tttcbaro  for  1757 

of  One,  for  Example,  at  One  a  Clock,  and  there 
kindle  a  Train  of  Gunpowder  that  shall  fire 
one  Gun.  At  Two  a  Clock,  a  Focus  shall  fall 
on  the  Hour  lyine  of  Two,  and  kindle  another 
Train  that  shall  discharge  two  Guns  succes 
sively  :  and  so  of  the  rest. 

Note,  There  must  be  78  Guns  in  all.  Thirty- 
two  Pounders  will  be  best  for  this  Use  ;  but  18 
Pounders  may  do,  and  will  cost  less,  as  well  as 
use  less  Powder,  for  nine  Pounds  of  Powder  will 
do  for  one  Charge  of  each  eighteen  Pounder, 
whereas  the  Thirty-two  Pounders  would  require 
for  each  Gun  16  Pounds. 

Note  also,  That  the  chief  Expense  will  be  the 
Powder,  for  the  Cannon  once  bought,  will,  with 
Care,  last  100  Years. 

Note  moreover,  that  there  will  be  a  great  Sa 
ving  of  Powder  in  Cloudy  Days. 

Kind  Reader,  Methinks  I  hear  thee  say,  That 
is  indeed  a  good  Thing  to  know  how  the  Time 
passes,  but  this  Kind  of  Dial,  notwithstanding 
the  mentioned  Savings,  would  be  very  Expen 
sive  ;  and  the  Cost  greater  than  the  Advantage; 
Thou  art  wise,  my  Friend,  to  be  so  considerate 
beforehand  ;  some  Fools  would  not  have  found 
out  so  much,  till  they  had  made  the  Dial  and 
try'd  it.  -  -  -  -  Let  all  such  learn  that  many  a 
private  and  many  a  publick  Project,  are  like 
this  Striking  Dial,  great  Cost  for  little  Profit 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1757  259 

JANUARY. 
CONVERSATION  HINTS. 

Good  Sense  and  Learning  may  Esteem  obtain. 
Humor  and  Wit  a  Laugh,  if  rightly  ta'en  ; 
Fair  Virtue  Admiration  may  impart ; 
But 't  is  GOOD-NATURE)  only  wins  the  Heart ; 
It  moulds  the  Body  to  an  easy  Grace, 
And  brightens  every  Feature  of  the  Face  ; 
It  smooths  th'  unpolished  Tongue  with  Eloquence, 
And  adds  Persuasion  to  the  finest  Sense. 

He  that  would  rise  at  Court,  must  begin  by  creeping. 
Many  a  Man's  own  Tongue  gives  Evidence  against  his 
Understanding. 
Nothing  dries  sooner  than  a  Tear. 

FEBRUARY. 

Would  you  both  please,  and  be  instructed  too, 
The  pride  of  shewing  forth  yourself  subdue. 
Hear  every  Man  upon  his  fav'rite  Theme, 
And  ever  be  more  knowing  than  you  seem. 
The  lowest  Genius  will  afford  some  Light, 
Or  give  a  Hint  that  had  escaped  your  Sight. 
Doubt,  till  he  thinks  you  on  Conviction  yield, 
And  with  fit  Questions  let  each  Pause  be  fill'd. 
And  the  most  knowing  will  •»  ith  Pleasure  grant, 
You  're  rather  much  reserv'd  than  ignorant. 

'T  is  easier  to  build  two  Chimneys  than  maintain  one 
In  Fuel. 
Anger  warms  the  Invention,  but  overheats  the  Oven. 

RULES  OF  LAW  FIT  TO  BE  OBSERVED  IN  PURCHASING. 

From  an  old  Book. 

First,  see  the  Land  which  thou  intend'st  to  buy 
Within  the  Sellers  title  clear  doth  lie. 


«6o  fcoor  IRtcbarfc  for  1757 

And  that  no  Woman  to  it  doth  lay  claim 

By  Dowry,  Jointure,  or  some  other  Name. 

That  it  may  cumber.     Know  if  bound  or  free 

The  Tenure  stand,  and  that  from  each  Feoffee 

It  be  released  :  That  the  Seller  be  so  old 

That  he  may  lawful  sell,  thou  lawful  hold. 

Have  special  Care  that  it  not  mortgag'd  lie, 

Nor  be  entailed  on  Posterity. 

Then  if  it  stand  in  Statute  bound  or  no  : 

Be  well  advised  what  Quit  Rent  out  must  go  ; 

What  Custom,  Service  hath  been  done  of  old, 

By  those  who  formerly  the  same  did  hold, 

And  if  a  wedded  Woman  put  to  Sale, 

Deal  not  with  her,  unle.ss  she  bring  her  Male. 

For  she  doth  under  Covert-Baron  go, 

Altho'  sometimes  some  also  traffick  so. 

Thy  Bargain  being  made,  and  all  this  done, 

Have  special  Care  to  make  thy  Charter  run 

To  thee,  thine  Heirs,  Executors,  Assigns, 

For  that  beyond  thy  L,ife  securely  binds. 

These  Things  foreknown  and  done,  you  may  prevent 

Those  Things  rash  Buyers  many  times  repent. 

And  yet,  when  as  you  have  done  all  you  can 

If  you  'd  be  sure,  deal  with  an  honest  Man. 

Very  good  Rules,  these,  and  sweetly  sung.  If  they  are 
learnt  by  heart,  and  repeated  often  to  keep  them  in 
Memory,  they  may  happen  to  save  the  Purchaser  more 
Tence  than  the  Price  of  my  Almanack.  In  Imitation  of 
this  old  Writer,  I  have  thoughts  of  turning  Coke's  Insti 
tutes,  and  all  our  Province  Laws  into  Metre,  hoping 
thereby  to  engage  some  of  our  young  Lawyers  and  old 
Justices  to  read  a  little. 

It  is  generally  agreed  to  be  Folly,  to  hazard  the  loss  of 
a  Friend,  rather  than  to  lose  a  Jest.  But  few  consider  how 
easily  a  Friend  may  be  thus  lost.  Depending  on  the 


jpoor  IRlcbavD  tor  1757  261 

known  Regard  their  Friends  have  for  them,  Jesters  take 
more  Freedom,  with  Friends  than  they  would  dare  to  do 
with  others,  little  thinking  how  much  deeper  we  are 
wounded  by  an  Affront  from  one  we  love.  But  the 
strictest  Intimacy  can  never  warrant  Freedoms  of  this 
Sort ;  and  it  is  indeed  preposterous  to  think  they  should ; 
unless  we  can  suppose  Injuries  are  less  Evils  when  they 
are  done  to  us  by  Friends,  than  when  they  come  from 
ither  Hands. 

MARCH. 

The  Rays  of  Wit  gild  wheresoe'er  they  strike, 
But  are  not  therefore  fit  for  all  alike 
They  charm  the  lively,  but  the  grave  offend 
And  raise  a  Foe  as  often  as  a  Friend ; 
Ivike  the  resistless  Beams  of  blazing  lyight, 
That  cheer  the  strong,  and  pain  the  weekly  sight 
If  a  bright  Fancy  therefore  be  your  Share 
Let  Judgment  watch  it  with  a  Guardian's  care. 

It  is  Ill-manners  to  silence  a  Fool,  and  Cruelty  to  let 
him  go  on. 
Scarlet,  Silk  and  Velvet  have  put  out  the  Kitchen  Fire< 


'T  is  like  a  Torrent,  apt  to  overflow, 

Unless  by  constant  Government  kept  low ; 

And  ne'er  inefficacious  passes  by, 

But  overturns  or  gladdens  all  that 's  nigh. 

Or  else,  like  Trees,  when  suffer'd  wild  to  shoot, 

That  put  forth  much,  but  all  unripen'd  Fruit; 

It  turns  to  Affection  and  Grimace, 

As  like  to  Wit  as  Gravity  to  Grace. 

He  that  would  catch  Fish,  must  venture  his  Bait. 
Men  take  more  pains  to  mask  than  mend. 
One  To-day  is  worth  two  To-morrows. 


262  poor  IRicbarD  for  1757 


How  hard  soe'er  it  be  to  bridle  Wit, 
Yet  Mem'ry  oft  no  less  requires  the  Bit : 
How  many,  hurried  by  its  Force  away, 
"    For  ever  in  the  Land  of  Gossips  stay  ! 
Usurp  the  Province  of  the  Nurse,  to  lull, 
Without  her  Privilege  for  being  dull ! 
Tales  upon  Tales  they  raise,  ten  Stories  high, 
Without  Regard  to  Use  or  Symmetry. 

The  way  to  be  safe,  is  never  to  be  secure. 
Dally  not  with  other  Folks  Women  or  Money. 
Work  as  if  you  were  to  live  100  years,  Pray  as  if  you 
were  to  die  To-morrow. 

JUNE. 

A  Story  should,  to  please,  at  least  seem  true, 
Be  apropos,  well  told,  concise,  and  new  ; 
And  whensoe'er  it  deviates  from  these  Rules, 
The  Wise  will  sleep,  and  leave  Applause  to  Fools. 
But  others,  more  intolerable  yet, 
The  Waggeries  that  they  '  ve  said,  or  heard,  repeat 
Heavy  by  Mem'ry  made,  and  what  's  the  worst, 
At  second-hand  as  often  as  at  first. 

Pride  breakfasted  with  Plenty,  dined  with  Poverty, 
supped  with  Infamy. 

Retirement  does  not  always  secure  Virtue ;  Ix>t  was 
upright  in  the  City  ;  wicked  in  the  Mountain. 

Excess  of  Wit  may  oftentimes  beguile  : 

Jests  are  not  always  pardon 'd by  a  Smile. 

Men  may  disguise  their  Malice  at  the  Heart, 

A»4  seem  at  F,ase tho'  pain'd  with  inward  Smart 


poor  IRfcbarD  for  1757  263 

Mistaken,  we think  all  such  Wounds  of  course 

Reflection  cures  ;  -  -  alas  !  it  makes  them  worse. 
I,ike  Scratches  they  with  double  Anguish  seize. 
Rankle  with  Time,  and  fester  by  Degrees. 

But  sarcastical  Jests  on  a  Man's  Person  or  his  Manners, 
tho'  hard  to  bear,  are  perhaps  more  easily  borne  than 
those  that  touch  his  Religion.  Men  are  generally  warm 
in  what  regards  their  religious  Tenets,  either  from  a 
Tenderness  of  Conscience,  or  a  high  Sense  of  their  own 
Judgements.  People  of  plain  Parts  and  honest  Disposi 
tions,  look  on  Salvation  as  too  serious  a  Thing  to  be 
jested  with  ;  and  Men  of  speculative  Religion,  who 
profess  from  the  Conviction  rather  of  their  Heads  than 
Hearts,  are  not  a  bit  less  vehement  than  the  real  Devo 
tees.  He  who  says  a  slight  or  a  severe  Thing  of  their 
Faith,  seems  to  them  to  have  thereby  undervalued  their 
Understanding,  and  will  consequently  incur  their  Aver 
sion,  which  no  Man  of  common  Sense  would  hazard,  for 
a  lively  Expression  ;  much  less  a  person  of  good  Breed 
ing,  who  should  make  it  his  chief  Aim  to  be  well  with  all. 

I/ike  some  grave  Matron  of  a  noble  I/ine, 
With  awful  Beauty  does  Religion  shine. 
Just  Sense  should  teach  us  to  revere  the  Dame, 
Nor,  by  imprudent  Jests,  to  spot  her  Fame. 
In  common  I/ife  you  '11  own  this  Reas'ning  right, 
That  none  but  Fools  in  gross  Abuse  delight : 

Then  use  it  here nor  think  the  Caution  vain, 

To  be  polite,  Men  need  not  be  profane. 

JULY. 

But  above  all  Things,  raillery  decline, 
Nature  but  few  does  for  that  Talk  design  ; 
'T  is  in  the  ablest  Hand  a  dangerous  Tool, 
But  never  fails  to  wound  the  meddling  Fool ; 


264  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1757 

For  all  must  grant  it  needs  no  common  Art 
To  keep  Men  patient  while  we  make  them  smart. 
Not  Wit  alone,  nor  Humour's  self,  will  do, 
Without  Good-nature,  and  much  Prudence  too. 

Idleness  is  the  Dead  Sea,  that  swallows  all  Virtues  :  Be 
active  in  Business,  that  Temptation  may  miss  her  Aim  ; 
The  Bird  that  sits,  is  easily  shot. 

Shame  and  the  Dry-belly-ach  were  Diseases  of  the  last 
Age,  this  seems  to  be  cured  of  them. 


Of  all  the  Qualities  that  help  to  raise 
In  Men,  the  Universal  Voice  of  Praise, 
Whether  in  Pleasure  or  in  Use  they  end, 
There  's  none  that  can  with  MODESTY  contend. 
Yet  't  is  but  little  that  its  Form  be  caught, 
Unless  its  Origin  be  first  in  Thought ; 
Else  rebel  Nature  will  reveal  the  Cheat, 
And  the  whole  Work  of  Art  at  once  defeat. 

Tho'  the  Mastiff  be  gentle,  yet  bite  him  not  by  the  ly 
Great  Alms  giving,  lessen  no  Man's  living. 
The  Royal  Crown  cures  not  the  Head-ach. 

ON  THE  FREEDOM  OF  THE  PRESS. 

While  free  from  Force  the  Press  remains, 
Virtue  and  Freedom  chear  our  Plains, 
And  ^earning  I,argesses  bestows, 
And  keeps  unlicens'd  open  House. 
We  to  the  Nation's  publick  Mart 
Our  Works  of  Wit,  and  Schemes  of  Art, 
And  philosophic  Goods,  this  Way, 
Ivike  Water  carriage,  cheap  convey. 
This  Tree  which  Knowledge  so  affords, 
Inquisitors  with  flaming  Swords 


Ipoor  IRicbarD  tor  1757  265 

From  Lay-Approach  with  Zeal  defend, 
Lest  their  own  Paradise  should  end. 

The  Press  from  her  fecundous  Womb 
Brought  forth  the  Arts  of  Greece  and  Rome  ; 
Her  offspring,  skill'd  in  Logic  War, 
Truth's  Banner  wav'd  in  open  Air  ; 
The  Monster  Superstition  fled, 
And  hid  in  Shades  her  Gorgon  Head  ; 
And  awless  Pow'r,  i.he  long  kept  Field, 
By  Reason  quell'd,  was  forc'd  to  yield. 

This  Nurse  of  Arts,  and  Freedom's  Fence, 
To  chain,  is  Treason  against  Sense  : 
And  L,iberty,  thy  thousand  Tongues 
None  silence  who  design  no  Wrongs  ; 
For  those  who  use  the  Gag's  Restraint, 
First  Rob,  before  they  stop  Complaint. 

SEPTEMBER. 

Hold  forth  upon  yourself  on  no  Pretence, 
Unless  invited,  or  in  Self-Defence  ; 
The  Praise  you  take,  altho'  it  be  your  Due, 
Will  be  suspected  if  it  come  from  you, 
If  to  seem  modest,  you  some  faults  confess, 
The  World  suspect  yet  more,  and  never  less  : 
For  each  Man,  by  Experience  taught,  can  tell 
How  strong  a  Flatterer  does  within  him  dwell. 

Act  uprightly  and  despise  Calumny  ;  Dirt  may  stick  to 
a  Mud  Wall,  but  not  to  polish 'd  Marble. 

OCTOBER. 

No  part  of  Conduct  asks  for  Skill  more  nice, 
Tho'  none  more  common,  than  to  give  Advice  : 
Misers  themselves,  in  this  will  not  be  saving, 
Unless  their  Knowledge  makes  it  worth  the  having. 


266          poor  IRicbarfc  for  1757 

And  Where  's  the  Wonder,  when  we  will  intrude, 
An  useless  Gift,  it  meets  Ingratitude  ? 
Shun  then,  unask'd,  this  arduous  Task  to  try ; 
But,  if  consulted,  use  Sincerity. 

The  Borrower  is  a  Slave  to  the  Render  ;  the  Security  to 
both. 

Singularity  in  the  right,  hath  ruined  many  :  Happy 
those  who  are  convinced  of  the  general  Opinion. 

NOVEMBER. 

Be  rarely  warm  in  Censure  or  in  Praise  ; 
Few  Men  deserve  our  Passion  either  ways  : 
For  half  the  World  but  floats  'twixt  Good  and  111, 
As  Chance  disposes  Objects,  these  the  Will ; 
'T  is  but  a  see-saw  Game,  where  Virtue  now 
Mounts  above  Vice,  and  then  sinks  down  as  low. 
Besides,  the  Wise  still  hold  it  for  a  Rule, 
To  trust  that  Judgment  most,  that  seems  most  cool. 

Proportion  your  Charity  to  the  strength  of  your  Estate, 
or  God  will  Proportion  your  Estate  to  the  Weakness  of 
your  Charity. 

The  Tongue  offends,  and  the  Ears  get  the  Cuffing. 

Some  antient  Philosophers  have  said,  that  Happiness 
depends  more  on  the  inward  Disposition  of  Mind  than  on 
outward  Circumstances ;  and  that  he  who  cannot  be 
happy  in  any  State,  can  be  so  in  no  State.  To  be  happy, 
they  tell  us  we  must  be  content.  Right.  But  they  do  not 
teach  us  how  we  may  become  content.  Poor  Richard 
shall  give  you  a  short  good  Rule  for  that.  To  be  content 
look  backward  on  those  who  possess  less  than  yourself, 
not  forward  on  those  who  possess  more.  If  this  does  not 
make  you  content,  you  don't  deserve  to  be  happy. 


poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1757  267 

CONTENTMENT  !  Parent  of  Delight, 
So  much  a  stranger  to  our  Sight. 
Say,  Goddess,  in  what  happy  Place 
Mortals  behold  thy  blooming  Pace  ; 
Thy  gracious  Auspices  impart, 
And  for  thy  Temple  chuse  my  Heart. 
They  whom  thou  deignest  to  inspire, 
Thy  Science  learn,  to  bound  Desire  ; 
By  happy  Alchymy  of  Mind 
They  turn  to  Pleasure  all  they  find. 
Unmov'd  when  the  rude  Tempest  blows, 
Without  an  Opiate  they  repose  ; 
And,  cover'd  by  your  Shield,  defy 
The  whizzing  Shafts  that  round  them  fly  ; 
Nor,  meddling  with  the  Gods  Affairs, 
Concern  themselves  with  distant  Cares  ; 
But  place  their  Bliss  in  mental  Rest, 
And  feast  upon  the  Good  possest. 


Would  you  be  well  receiv'd  where'er  you  go, 
Remember  each  Man  vanquish'd  is  a  Foe  : 
Resist  not  therefore  to  your  utmost  Might, 
But  let  the  Weakest  think  he  's  sometimes  right  ; 
He,  for  each  Triumph  you  shall  thus  decline, 
Shall  give  ten  Opportunities  to  shine  ; 
He  sees,  since  once  you  owned  him  to  excel, 
That 't  is  his  Interest  you  should  reason  well. 


Sleep  without  Supping,  and  you  '11  rise  without  owing 
for  it. 


When  other  Sins  grow  old  by  Time, 

Then  Avarice  is  in  its  prime, 

Yet  feed  the  Poor  at  Christmas  time. 


POOR  RICHARD  FOR  17^8. 


PREFACE. 

COURTEOUS  READER, 

I  have  heard  that  nothing  gives  an  Author 
so  great  Pleasure,  as  to  find  his  Works  respect 
fully  quoted  by  other  learned  Authors.  This 
pleasure  I  have  seldom  enjoyed,  for  tho'  I  have 
been,  if  I  may  say  it  without  Vanity,  an  eminent 
Author  of  Almanacks  annually  now  a  full  quar 
ter  of  a  Century,  my  Brother  Authors  in  the 
same  Way,  for  what  Reason  I  know  not,  have 
ever  been  very  sparing  in  their  Applauses  ;  and 
no  other  Author  has  taken  the  least  notice  of 
me,  so  that  did  not  my  Writings  produce  me 
some  solid  Pudding,  the  great  Deficiency  of 
Praise  would  have  quite  discouraged  me. 

I  concluded  at  length,  that  the  People  were 
the  best  Judges  of  my  Merit ;  for  they  buy 
my  Works ;  and  besides,  in  my  Rambles, 
where  I  am  not  personally  known,  I  have  fre 
quently  heard  one  or  other  of  my  Adages  *e- 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1758  269 

peated,  with,  as  Poor  Richard  says,  at  the  End 
on  't ;  this  gave  me  some  Satisfaction,  as  it 
showed  not  only  that  my  Instructions  were  re 
garded,  but  discovered  likewise  some  Respect 
for  my  Authority  ;  and  I  own  that  to  encourage 
the  practice  of  remembering  and  repeating 
those  wise  Sentences,  I  have  sometimes  quoted 
myself  with  great  gravity. 

Judge  then  how  much  I  must  have  been  grati 
fied  by  an  Incident  I  am  going  to  relate  to  you. 
I  stopt  my  Horse  lately  where  a  great  Number 
of  people  were  collected  at  a  Vendue  of  Mer 
chant  Goods.  The  Hour  of  Sale  not  being 
come,  they  were  conversing  on  the  Badness  of 
the  Times,  and  one  of  the  Company  call'd  to  a 
plain  clean  old  Man,  with  white  Locks,  Pray 
Father  Abraham,  what  think  you  of  the  Times? 
Won't  these  heavy  Taxes  quite  ruin  the  Coun 
try  ?  How  shall  we  BK  EVER  able  to  pay  them  ? 

What  would  you  advise  us  to  ?  Father 

Abraham  stood  up,  and  reply'd,  If  you  'd  have 
my  Advice,  I  '11  give  it  you  in  short,  for  a 
Word  to  the  Wise  is  enough,  and  many  Words 
won't  fill  a  Bushel,  as  Poor  Richard  says, 
They  join'd  in  desiring  him  to  speak  his  Mind, 
and  gathering  round  him,  he  proceeded  as  fol 
lows  ; 

"  Friends,  says  he,  and  Neighbours,  the  Taxes 
are  indeed  very  heavy,  and  if  those  laid  on  by 


270  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1758 

the  Government  were  the  only  Ones  we  had  to 
pay,  we  might  more  easily  discharge  them  ;  but 
we  have  many  others,  and  much  more  grievous 
to  some  of  us.  We  are  taxed  twice  as  much  by 
our  Idleness,  three  times  as  much  by  our  Pride ', 
and  four  times  as  much  by  our  Folly,  and  from 
these  Taxes  the  Commissioners  cannot  ease  or 
deliver  us  by  allowing  an  Abatement.  How 
ever  let  us  hearken  to  good  Advice,  and  some 
thing  may  be  done  for  us  ;  God  helps  them  that 
help  themselves,  as  Poor  Richard  says  in  his 
Almanac  of  1733. 

It  would  be  thought  a  hard  Government  that 
should  tax  its  People  one  tenth  Part  of  their 
Time,  to  be  employed  in  its  Service.  But  Idle 
ness  taxes  many  of  us  much  more,  if  we  reckon 
all  that  is  spent  in  absolute  Sloth,  or  doing  of 
nothing,  with  that  which  is  spent  in  idle  Em 
ployments  or  Amusements,  that  amount  to 
nothing.  Sloth,  by  bringing  on  Diseases  abso 
lutely  shortens  L,ife.  Sloth,  like  Rust,  con 
sumes  faster  than  Labour  wears,  luhile  the  used 
Key  is  always  bright,  as  Poor  Richard  says. 
But  dost  Ihou  love  Life,  then  do  not  squander 
Time,  for  that  >s  the  Stuff  Life  is  made  of,  as 
Poor  Richard  says. — How  much  more  than  is 
necessary  do  we  spend  in  Sleep  !  forgetting  that 
The  Sleeping  Fox  catches  no  Poultry,  and  that 
there  will  be  sleeping  enough  in  the  Grave,  as 


poor  IRfcbarfc  for  173S  271 

Poor  Richard  says.  If  Time  be  of  all  Things 
the  most  precious,  wasting  of  Time  must  be, 
as  Poor  Richard  says,  the  greatest  Prodigality, 
since,  as  he  elsewhere  tells  us,  Lost  Time  is 
never  found  again  ;  and  what  we  call  Time- 
enough,  always  proves  little  enough.  lyet  us 
then  be  up  and  doing,  and  doing  to  the  Purpose  ; 
so  by  Diligence  shall  we  do  more  with  less  Per 
plexity.  Sloth  makes  all  things  difficult,  but 
Industry  all  Things  easy,  as  Poor  Richard  says  ; 
and  He  that  riseth  late,  must  trot  all  Day,  and 
shall  scarce  overtake  his  Business  at  night. 
While  Laziness  travels  so  slowly,  that  Poverty 
soon  overtakes  him,  as  we  read  in  Poor  Rich 
ard,  who  adds,  Drive  thy  Business,  let  not  that 
drive  thee  ;  and  Early  to  Bed,  and  early  to  rise, 
makes  a  Man  healthy,  wealthy,  and  wise. 

So  what  signifies  wishing  and  hoping  for  bet 
ter  times.  We  may  make  these  Times  better 
if  we  bestir  ourselves.  Industry  need  not  wish 
as  Poor  Richard  says,  and  He  that  lives  upon 
Hope  will  die  fasting.  There  are  no  Gains, 
without  Pains  ;  then  Help  Hands,  for  I  have 
no  Lands,  or  if  I  have,  they  are  smartly  taxed. 
And  as  Poor  Richard  likewise  observes,  He  that 
hath  a  Trade  hath  an  Estate,  and  He  that  hath 
a  Calling  hath  an  Office  of  Profit  and  Honour  ; 
but  then  the  Trade  must  be  worked  at,  and  the 
Calling  well  followed,  or  neither  the  Estate,  nor 


272  poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1758 

the  Office,  will  enable  us  to  pay  our  Taxes. — If 
we  are  industrious  we  shall  never  starve  ;  for  as 
Poor  Richard  says,  At  the  working  Man's 
House  Hunger  looks  in,  but  dares  not  enter. 
Nor  will  the  Bailiff  or  the  Constable  enter,  for 
Industry  pays  Debts  while  Despair  encreaseth 

them,  says  Poor  Richard. What  though  you 

have  found  no  Treasure,  nor  has  any  rich  Rela 
tion  left  you  a  I/egacy,  Diligence  is  the  Mother 
of  Good-luck,  as  Poor  Richard  says,  and  God 
gives  all  things  to  Industry.  Then  plough  deep, 
while  Sluggards  sleep,  and  you  shall  have  Corn 
to  sell  and  to  keep,  says  Poor  Dick.  Work 
while  it  it  is  called  To-day,  for  you  know  not 
how  much  you  may  be  hindered  To-morrow, 
which  makes  Poor  Richard  say,  One  To-day  is 
worth  two  To-morrows  ;  and  farther,  Have  you 
somewhat  to  do  To-morrow,  do  it  to  To-day.  If 
you  were  a  Servant  would  you  not  be  ashamed 
that  a  good  Master  should  catch  you  idle  ?  Are 
you  then  your  own  Master,  be  ashamed  to  catch 
yourself  idle,  as  Poor  Dick  says.  When  there 
is  so  much  to  be  done  for  yourself,  your  Family, 
your  Country,  and  your  gracious  King,  be  up 
by  Peep  of  Day ;  Let  not  the  Sun  look  down 
and  say,  Inglorious  here  he  lies.  Handle  your 
Tools  without  Mittens  ;  remember  that  the  Cat 
in  Gloves  catches  no  Mice,  as  Poor  Richard  says. 
'T  is  true  there  is  much  to  be  done,  and  perhaps 


poor  Ifltcbarfc  for  1758          273 

you  are  weak-handed,  but  stick  to  it  steadily, 
and  you  will  see  great  Effects,  for  constant 
Dropping  wears  away  Stones,  and  by  Diligence 
and  Patience,  the  Mouse  ate  in  two  the  Cable  ; 
and  little  Strokes  fell  great  Oaks,  as  Poor  Rich 
ard  says  in  his  Almanack,  the  Year  I  cannot 
just  now  remember. 

Methinks  I  hear  some  of  you  say,  Must  a 
Man  afford  himself  no  Leisure  ? — I  will  tell 
thee  My  Friend,  what  Poor  Richard  says,  Em 
ploy  thy  Time  well  if  thou  meanest  to  gain 
Leisure  ;  and,  since  thou  art  not  sure  of  a  Min 
ute,  throw  not  away  an  Hour.  Leisure  is  Time 
for  doing  something  useful  ;  this  Leisure  the 
diligent  man  will  obtain,  but  the  lazy  man 
never  ;  so  that,  as  Poor  Richard  says,  a  Life  of 
Leisure  and  a  Life  of  Laziness  are  two  Things. 
Do  you  imagine  that  Sloth  will  afford  you  more 
Comfort  than  Labour  ?  No,  for  as  Poor  Rich 
ard  says,  Trouble  springs  from  Idleness,  and 
grievous  Toil  from  needless  Ease.  Many  with 
out  Labour,  would  live  by  their  WITS  only,  but 
they  break  for  want  of  stock.  Whereas  Indus 
try  gives  Comfort,  and  Plenty  and  Respect  : 
Fly  Pleasures  and  they  'II  follow  you.  The  dili 
gent  Spinner  has  a  large  Shift ;  and  now  I  have 
a  Sheep  and  a  Cow,  every  Body  bids  me  Good 
morrow,  all  which  is  well  said  by  Poor  Richard. 

But  with  our  Industry,  we  must  likewise  be 
18  ~. 


274  poor  IRfcbarfc  for  1758 

steady,  settled,  and  careful,  and  oversee  our  own 
Affairs  with  our  own  Eyes,  and  not  trust  too 
much  to  others  ;  for,  as  Poor  Richard  says, 

/  never  saw  an  oft  removed  Tree, 

Nor  yet  an  oft  removed  Family, 

That  throve  so  well  as  those  that  settled  be. 

And  again,  Three  Removes  is  as  bad  as  a  Fire  i 
and  again,  Keep  thy  Shop,  and  thy  Shop  will 
keep  thee ;  and  again,  If  you  would  have  yom 
Business  done,  go  ;  if  not,  send.  And  again, 

He  that  by  the  Plough  must  thrive, 
Himself  must  either  hold  or  drive. 

And  again,  The  Eye  of  a  Master  will  do  more 
Work  than  both  his  Hands ;  and  again,  Want 
of  Care  does  us  more  Damage  than  Want  of 
Knowledge  ;  and  again,  Not  to  oversee  Work 
men,  is  to  leave  them  your  Purse  open.  Trust 
ing  too  much  to  others  Care  is  the  Ruin  of 
many  ;  for,  as  the  Almanack  says,  In  the  Af 
fairs  of  this  World,  Men  are  saved,  not  by 
Faith,  but  by  the  Want  ofit;  but  a  Man's  own 
Care  is  profitable  ;  for,  saith  Poor  Dick,  Learn 
ing  is  to  the  Studious,  and  Riches  to  the  Care 
ful,  as  well  as  Power  to  the  Bold,  and  Heaven 
to  the  Virtuous.  And,  farther,  If  you  would 
have  a  faithful  Servant,  and  one  that  you  like, 
^erve yourself .  And  again,  he  adviseth  to  Cir 


fcoor  IRfcbarfc  for  1758  275 

cutnspectioii  and  Care,  even  in  the  smallest 
Matters,  because  sometimes  a  little  Neglect 
•may  breed  great  Mischief,  adding,  for  ivant  of 
a  Nail,  the  Shoe  was  lost ;  for  want  of  a  Shoe 
the  Horse  was  lost ;  and  for  want  of  a  Horse 
the  Rider  was  lost,  being  overtaken  and  slain 
by  the  Enemy,  all  for  want  of  Care  about  a 
Horse-shoe  Nail. 

So  much  for  Industry,  my  Friends,  and  Atten 
tion  to  one's  own  Business  ;  but  to  these  we 
must  add  Frugality,  if  we  would  make  our  In 
dustry  more  certainly  successful.  A  man  may, 
if  he  knows  not  how  to  save  as  he  gets,  Keep 
his  Nose  all  his  Life  to  the  Grindstone,  and  die 
not  worth  a  Groat  at  last.  A  fat  Kitchen 
makes  a  lean  Will,  as  Poor  Richard  says  ;  and 

Many  Estates  are  spent  in  the  Getting, 

Since  Women  for  Tea  forsook  Spinning  and  Kniting, 

And  Men  for  Punch  forsook  Hewing  and  Splitting. 

If  you  would  be  wealthy,  says  he,  in  another  Al 
manack,  think  of  Saving,  as  well  as  of  Getting : 
The  Indies  have  not  made  Spain  rich,  because 
her  Outgoes  are  greater  than  her  Incomes. 
Away  then  with  your  expensive  Follies,  you 
will  not  have  so  much  cause  to  complain  of 
hard  Times,  heavy  Taxes,  and  chargeable 
Families  ;  for  as  Poor  Dick  says, 


276  poor  Tflfcbarfc  for  1758 

Women  and  Wine,  Game  and  Deceit, 

Make  the  Wealth  small  and  the  Wants  great. 

And  farther,  What  maintains  one  Vice  would 
bring  up  two  Children.  You  may  think  per 
haps  that  a  little  Tea  or  a  little  Punch  now  and 
then,  Diet  a  little  more  costly,  Clothes  a  little 
finer,  and  a  little  Entertainment  now  and  then, 
can  be  no  great  Matter ;  but  remember  what 
Poor  Richard  says,  Many  a  Little  makes  a 
Mickle ;  and  farther,  Beware  of  little  Ex- 
pences  ;  a  small  Leak  will  sink  a  great  Ship  ; 
and  again,  Who  Dainties  love  shall  Beggars 
prove  ;  and  moreover,  Fools  make  Feasts  and 
wise  Men  eat  them. 

Here  you  are  all  got  together  at  this  Vendue 
of  Fineries  and  Knicknacks.  You  call  them 
Goods,  but  if  you  do  not  take  Care,  they  will 
prove  Evils  to  some  of  you.  You  expect  they 
will  be  sold  cheap,  and  perhaps  they  may  for 
less  than  they  cost ;  but  if  you  have  no  Occasion 
for  them,  they  must  be  dear  to  you.  Remember 
what  Poor  Richard  says,  Buy  what  thou  hast 
no  Need  of,  and  ere  long'  thou  shalt  sell  thy 
Necessaries.  And  again,  At  a  great  Penny 
worth  pause  a  while :  He  means,  that  perhaps 
the  Cheapness  is  apparent  only,  and  not  real ;  or 
the  Bargain,  by  straitning  thee  in  thy  Business, 
may  do  thee  more  Harm  than  Good.  For  in 
another  Place  he  says,  Many  have  been  ruined 


poor  IRicbarfc  tor  1758  277 

by  buying  good  Pennyworths.  Again  Poor 
,  Richard  says,  '  T  is  foolish  to  lay  out  Hfoney  in 
a  Purchase  of  Repentance  ;  and  yet  this  Folly 
is  practised  every  Day  at  Vendues,  for  want 
of  minding  the  Almanack.  Wise  Men,  as  Poor 
Dick  says,  learn  by  others  Harms,  Fools  scarcely 
by  their  own  ;  but  Felix  quern  faciunt  aliena 
Pcricula  cautum.  Many  a  one,  for  the  Sake 
of  Finery  on  the  Back,  have  gone  with  a  hun 
gry  Belly,  and  half  starved  their  Families; 
Silks  and  Sattins,  Scarlet  and  Velvets,  as  Poor 
Richard  says,  put  out  the  Kitchen  Fire. 
These  are  not  the  Necessaries  of  Life  ;  they 
can  scarcely  be  called  the  Conveniences,  and 
yet  only  because  they  look  pretty  how  many 
want  to  have  them.  The  artificial  Wants  of 
Mankind  thus  become  more  numerous  than  the 
natural;  and  as  Poor  Dick  says,  For  one  poor 
Person  there  are  an  hundred  indigent.  By 
these,  and  other  Extravagancies,  the  Genteel 
are  reduced  to  Poverty,  and  forced  to  borrow 
of  those  whom  they  formerly  despised,  but  who 
through  Industry  and  Frugality  have  main 
tained  their  Standing  ;  in  which  case  it  appears 
plainly,  that  a  Ploughman  on  his  Legs  is  higher 
than  a  Gentleman  on  his  Knees,  as  Poor  Rich 
ard  says.  Perhaps  they  have  had  a  small  Bs- 
tate  left  them,  which  they  knew  not  the  Getting 
of, — they  think  '/  is  Day  and  will  never  be 


278  poor  IRicbaro  for  1758 

Night ;  that  a  little  to  be  spent  out  of  so  much, 
is  iiot  worth  minding  ;  (a  Child  and  a  Fool,  as  , 
Poor  Richard  says,  imagine  Twenty  Shillings 
and  Twenty  Years  can  never  be  spent]  but, 
always  taking  out  of  the  Meat-tub,  and  never 
putting  in,  soon  conies  to  the  Bottom  ;  then,  as 
Poor  Dick  says,  When  the  Well  's  dry,  they 
know  the  Worth  of  Water.  But  this  they  might 
have  known  before,  if  they  had  taken  his  Ad 
vice  ;  If  you  would  know  th"e  Value  of  Money, 
go  and  try  to  borrow  some  ;  for  he  that  goes  a 
borrowing  goes  a  sorrowing ;  and  indeed  so 
does  he  that  lends  to  such  People,  when  he  goes 
to  get  it  in  again. — Poor  Dick  farther  advises, 
and  says, 

Fond  Pride  of  Dress,  is  sure  a  very  Curse  ; 
E'er  Fancy  you  consult,  consult  your  Purse. 

And  again,  Pride  is  as  loud  a  Beggar  as  Want, 
and  a  great  deal  more  saucy.  When  you  have 
bought  one  fine  Thing  you  must  buy  ten  more, 
that  your  appearance  may  be  all  of  a  Piece  ;  but 
Poor  Dick  says,  *  Tis  easier  to  suppress  the  first 
Desire,  than  to  satisfy  all  that  follow  it.  And 
't  is  as  truly  Folly  for  the  Poor  to  ape  the  Rich, 
as  for  the  Frog  to  swell,  in  order  to  equal 
the  Ox. 

Great  Estates  may  venture  more, 

But  little  Boats  should  keep  near  Shore. 


fcoor  IRicbarfc  for  1758  279 

'T  is  however  a  Folly  soon  punished  ;  for  Pride 
that  dines  on  Vanity  sups  on  Contempt, as  Poor 
Richard  says.  And  in  another  Place,  Pride 
breakfasted  with  Plenty,  dined  with  Poverty, 
and  supped  with  Infamy.  And  after  all,  of 
what  Use  is  this  Pride  of  Appearance,  for  which 
so  much  is  risked,  so  much  is  suffered  !  It  can 
not  promote  Health,  or  ease  Pain  ;  it  makes  no 
Increase  of  Merit  in  the  Person,  creates  Envy, 
it  hastens  Misfortune. 

What  is  a  Butterfly  f  At  best 
He  's  but  a  Caterpillar  drest. 
The  gaudy  Fop  's  his  Picture  just. 

as  Poor  Richard  says. 

But  what  Madness  must  it  be  to  run  in  Debt 
for  these  Superfluities  !  We  are  offered  by  the 
Terms  of  this  Vendue,  Six  Months  Credit ; 
and  that  perhaps  has  induced  some  of  us  to 
attend  it,  because  we  cannot  spare  the  ready 
Money,  and  hope  now  to  be  fine  without  it. 
But,  ah,  think  what  you  do  when  you  run  in 
Debt ;  You  give  to  another  Power  over  your 
Liberty.  If  you  cannot  pay  at  the  Time,  you 
will  be  ashamed  to  see  your  Creditor ;  you  will 
be  in  Fear  when  you  speak  to  him  ;  you  will 
make  poor  pitiful  sneaking  Excuses,  and  by 
Degrees  come  to  lose  your  Veracity,  and  sink 
into  base  downright  lying  ;  for  as  Poor  Richard 


280  poor  IRtcbarD  for  1758 

says,  The  second  Vice  is  Lying,  the  first  is  ran* 
ning  in  Debt.  And  again,  to  the  same  Purpose, 
Lying  rides  upon  Debt's  Back.  Whereas  a 
freeborn  Englishman  ought  not  to  be  ashamed 
or  afraid  to  see  or  speak  to  any  Man  living. 
But  Poverty  often  deprives  a  Man  of  all  Spirit 
and  Virtue ;  '  T  is  hard  for  an  empty  Bag  to 
stand  upright,  as  Poor  Richard  truly  says. 
What  would  you  think  of  that  Prince,  or  that 
Government,  who  should  issue  an  Edict  forbid 
ding  you  to  dress  like  a  Gentleman,  or  a  Gentle 
woman,  on  Pain  of  Imprisonment  or  Servitude  \ 
Would  you  not  say,  that  you  are  free,  have  a 
Right  to  dress  as  you  please,  and  that  such  an 
Kdict  would  be  a  Breach  of  your  Privileges, 
and  such  a  Government  tyrannical !  And  yet 
you  are  about  to  put  yourself  under  that  Tyr- 
rany  when  you  run  in  Debt  for  such  Dress  ! 
Your  Creditor  has  Authority  at  his  Pleasure  to 
deprive  you  of  your  Liberty,  by  confining  you 
in  Goal  for  Life,  or  to  sell  you  for  a  Servant,  if 
you  should  not  be  able  to  pay  him  !  When 
you  have  got  your  Bargain,  you  may,  perhaps, 
think  little  of  Payment !  but  Creditors,  Poor 
Richard,  tells  us,  have  better  Memories  than 
Debtors ;  and  in  another  Place  says,  Creditors 
are  a  superstitious  Sect,  great  Observers  of  set 
Days  and  Times.  The  Day  comes  round  be 
fore  you  are  aware,  and  the  Demand  is  made 


fcoor  IRicbarfc  tor  1758  281 

before  you  are  prepared  to  satisfy  it,  Or  if  you 
bear  your  Debt  in  Mind,  the  Term  which  at 
first  seemed  so  long,  will,  as  it  lessens,  appear 
extreamly  short.  Time  will  seem  to  have 
added  Wings  to  his  Heels  as  well  as  Shoulders. 
Those  have  a  short  Lent,  saith  Poor  Richard, 
who  owe  Money  to  be  paid  at  Easter.  Then, 
since  as  he  says,  The  Borrower  is  a  Slave  to  the 
Lender,  and  the  Debtor  is  the  Creditor,  dis 
dain  the  Chain,  preserve  your  Freedom  ;  and 
maintain  your  Independency  ;  Be  industrious 
and  free;  be  frugal  and  free.  At  present,  per 
haps,  you  may  think  yourself  in  thriving  Cir 
cumstances,  and  that  you  can  bear  a  little 
Extravagance  without  Injury;  but, 

For  Age  and  Want  save  while  you  may  ; 
No  Morning  Sun  lasts  a  whole  Day, 

as  Poor  Richard  says. — Gain  may  be  tempo 
rary  and  uncertain,  but  ever  while  you  live 
Experience  is  constant  and  certain;  and  '/£? 
easier  to  build  two-  Chimnies  than  to  keep  one 
in  Fuel,  as  Poor  Richard  says.  So  rather  go  to 
Bed  supperless  than  rise  in  Debt. 

Get  what  you  can,  and  what  you  get  hold. 

Tit  the  stone  that  will  turn  all  your  Lead  into  Gold, 

as  Poor  Richard  says.  And  when  you  have 
got  the  Philosopher's  Stone,  sure  you  will  no 


282  poor  IRfcbarD  for  1758 

longer  complain  of  the  bad  Times,  or  the  Diffi 
culty  of  paying  Taxes. 

This  Doctrine,  my  Friends,  is  Reason  and 
Wisdom;  but  after  all,  do  not  depend  too 
much  on  your  own  Industry,  and  Frugality, 
and  Prudence,  though  excellent  Things ;  for 
they  may  all  be  blasted  without  the  Blessing  of 
Heaven  ;  and  therefore  ask  that  Blessing  hum 
bly,  and  be  not  uncharitable  to  those  that  at 
present  seem  to  want  it,  but  comfort  and  help 
them.  Remember  Job  suffered  and  was  after 
wards  prosperous. 

And  now  to  conclude,  Experience  keeps  a 
dear  School,  but  Fools  will  learn  in  no  other, 
and  scarce  in  that;  for  it  is  true,  we  may  give 
Advice,  but  we  cannot  give  Conduct,  as  Poof 
Richard  says  :  However,  remember  this,  They 
that  won't  be  counselled,  can't  be  helped,  as 
Poor  Richard  says  :  and  farther,  That  if  you  will 
not  hear  Reason,  she  '//  surely  wrap  your 
Knuckles. 

Thus  the  old  Gentleman  ended  his  Harangue,, 
The  People  heard  it,  and  approved  the  Doctrine, 
and  immediately  practised  the  contrary,  just  as 
if  it  had  been  a  common  Sermon  ;  for  the  Ven- 
due  opened,  and  they  began  to  buy  extrava 
gantly,  notwithstanding  all  his  Cautions,  and 
their  own  Fear  of  Taxes. — I  found  the  good 
Man  had  thoroughly  studied  my  Almanacks 


poor  IRicbarD  for  1758  283 

and  digested  all  I  had  dropt  on  those  Topicks 
during  the  Course  of  Five-and-Twenty  Years. 
The  frequent  mention  he  made  of  me  must  have 
tired  any  one  else,  but  my  Vanity  was  wonder 
fully  delighted  with  it,  though  I  was  conscious 
that  not  a  tenth  Part  of  this  Wisdom  was  my 
own  which  he  ascribed  to  me,  but  rather  the 
Gleanings  I  had  made  of  the  Sense  of  all  Ages 
and  Nations.  However,  I  resolved  to  be  the 
better  for  the  Bcho  of  it ;  and  though  I  had  at 
first  determined  to  buy  Stuff  for  a  new  Coat,  I 
went  away  resolved  to  wear  my  old  one  a  little 
longer.  Reader,  if  thou  wilt  do  the  same,  thy 
Profit  will  be  as  great  as  mine. 
/  am,  as  ever, 

Thine  to  serve  thee, 
RICHARD    SAUNDBRS. 
July  7,  1757. 

JANUARY. 

On  Ambition. 

I  know,  young  Friend,  Ambition  fills  your  Mind 
And  in  life's  Voyage  is  th'  impelling  Wind  ; 
But  at  the  Helm  let  sober  Reason  stand 
And  steer  the  Bark  with  Heav'n-directed  Hand  : 
So  shall  you  safe  Ambitions  Gale  receive, 
And  ride  securely,  tho'  the  Billows  heave  ; 
So  shall  you  shun  the  giddy  Hero's  Fate, 
And  by  her  Influence  be  both  good  and  great. 

One  Nestor  is  worth  two  Ajaxes. 
When  you  're  an  Anvil,  hold  you  still ; 
When  you  're  a  Hammer,  strike  your  fill. 


284  poor  IRicbarfc  for  1758 

FEBRUARY. 

She  bids  you  first,  in  Life's  soft  Vernal  Hours, 
With  active  Industry  wake  Natures  Powers  ; 
With  rising  Years,  still  rising  Arts  display, 
With  new-born  Graces  mark  each  new-born  Day, 
'T  is  now  the  Time  young  Passion  to  command 
While  yet  the  pliant  Stem  obeys  the  Hand  ; 
Guide  now  the  Courser  with  a  steady  rein 
IJ'er  yet  he  bounds  o'er  Pleasures  flow'ry  Plane  ; 
In  Passion's  Strife,  no  Medium  you  can  have  ; 
You  rule  a  Master,  or  submit  a  Slave. 

When  Knaves  betray  each  other,  one  can  scarce  be 
blamed  or  the  other  pitied. 

He  that  carries  a  small  Crime  easily,  will  carry  it  on 
when  it  comes  to  be  an  Ox. 


For  whom  these  Toils,  you  may  perhaps  enquire  ; 
First  for  yourself,  next  Nature  will  inspire, 
The  filial  Thought,  fond  Wish,  and  Kindred  Tear 
Which  makes  the  Parent  and  the  Sister  dear  : 
To  these,  in  closest  Bands  of  Ivove,  ally'd, 
Their  Joy  and  Grief  you  live,  their  Shame  or  Pride 
Hence  timely  learn  to  make  their  Bliss  your  own, 
And  scorn  to  think  or  act  for  Self  alone. 

Happy  Tom  Crump  ne'er  sees  his  own  Hump. 
Fools  need  Advice  most,  but  wise  Men  only  are  th 
better  for  it. 


Hence  bravely  strive  upon  your  own  to  raise 
Their  Honour,  Grandeur,  Dignity  and  Praise. 

But  wider  far,  beyond  the  narrow  Bound 
Of  Family,  Ambition  searches  round  : 


poor  IRicbarfc  for  1758  285 

Searches  to  find  the  Friend's  delightful  Face, 
The  Friend  at  last  demands  the  second  place, 
And  yet  beware  ;  for  most  desire  a  Friend 
From  meaner  Motives,  not  for  Virtue's  F^d. 
There  are,  who  with  fond  Favour's  fickle  Gale 
Now  sudden  swell,  and  now  contract  their  Sail. 

Silence  is  not  always  a  Sign  of  Wisdom,  but  Babbling 
is  ever  a  Folly. 

Great  Modesty  often  hides  great  Merit. 
You  may  delay,  but  Time  will  not. 


This  Week  devour,  the  next  with  sickening  Eye 
Avoid,  and  cast  the  sully'd  Plaything  by  ; 
There  are,  who  tossing  in  the  Bed  of  Vice, 
For  Flattery's  Opiate  give  the  highest  Price  ; 
Yet  from  the  saving  Hand  of  Friendship  turn, 
Her  Medicines  dread,  her  generous  Offers  spurn. 
Deserted  Greatness  !  who  but  pities  thee  ? 
By  crowds  encompass'd,  thou  no  friend  canst  see  : 

Virtue  may  always  make  a  Face  handsome,  but  Vice 
will  certain  make  it  ugly. 

Prodigality  of  Time  produces  Poverty  of  Miiid  as  well 
as  of  Estate. 

JUNE. 

Or  should  kind  Truth  invade  thy  gentle  Ear, 
We  pity  still ;  for  thou  no  Truth  canst  hear. 
Ne'er  grudg'd  thy  Wealth  to  swell  an  useless  State, 
Yet,  frugal,  deems  th'  Expence  of  Friends  too  great ; 
For  Friends  ne'er  mixing  in  ambitions  Strife, 
For  Friends,  the  richest  Furniture  of  I^ife  ! 

Be  yours,  my  son,  a  nobler,  higher  Aim 
Your  Pride  to  burn  with  Friendship's  sacred  Flame ; 


286  poor  IRtcbarfc  for  1758 

Content  is  the  Philosopher's  Stone,  that  turns  all  it 
touches  into  Gold. 
He  that  's  content  hath  enough. 
He  that  complains  has  too  much. 
Pride  gets  into  the  Coach,  and  Shame  mounts  behind. 

JULY. 

By  Virtue  kindled,  by  like  Manners  fed, 
By  mutual  Wishes,  mutual  Favours  spread, 
Increas'd  with  Years,  by  candid  Truth  refin'd 
Pour  all  its  boundless  Ardours  thro'  your  mind 
By  yours  the  care  a  chosen  Band  to  gain  ; 
With  them  to  Glory's  radiant  Summit  strain, 
Aiding  and  aided  each,  while  all  contend 
Who  best,  who  bravest,  shall  assist  his  Friend. 

The  first  Mistake  in  public  Business,  is  the  going  into  it. 
Half  the  Truth  is  often  a  great  l,ie. 
The  Way  to  see  by  Faith  is  to  shut  the  Eye  of  Reason 
The  Morning  Daylight  appears  plainer  when  you  put 
out  your  Candle. 

AUGUST. 

Thus  still  should  private  Friendships  spread  around, 
Till  in  their  joint  Embrace  the  Publick's  found, 
The  common  Friend  !— Then  all  her  Good  explore  ; 
Kxplor'd,  pursue  with  each  unbiass'd  Power 
But  chief  the  greatest  should  her  J^aws  revere, 
Ennobling  Honours,  which  she  bids  them  wear 
Ambition  fills  with  Charity  the  Mind, 
And  pants  to  be  the  Friend  of  all  Mankind. 

A  full  Belly  makes  a  dull  Brain. 

The  Muses  starve  in  a  Cook's  Shop. 

Spare  and  have  is  better  than  spend  and  crave. 

Good-Will,  like  the  Wind,  floweth  where  it  listeth. 


fcoor  IRfcbarO  for  175S  287 

SEPTEMBER. 

Her  Country  all  beneath  one  ambient  Sky 
Whosoe'er  beholds  yon  radiant  Orb  on  high, 
To  -whom  one  Sun  impartial  gives  the  Day, 
To  whom  the  Silver  Moon  her  milder  Ray, 
Whom  the  same  Water,  Earth,  and  Air  sustain, 
O'er  whom  one  Parent-King  extends  his  Reign 
Are  her  compatriots  all,  by  her  belov'd, 
In  Nature  near,  tho'  far  by  Space  remov'd  ; 
On  common  Earth,  no  Foreigner  she  knows  ; 
No  Foe  can  find,  or  none  but  Virtue's  Foes  : 

The  Honey  is  sweet,  but  the  Bee  has  a  Sting. 
In  a  corrupt  Age,  the  putting  the  World  in  order  would 
breed  Confusion  ;  then  e'en  mind  your  own  Business. 

OCTOBER. 

Ready  she  stands  her  cheerful  Aid  to  lend  ; 

To  Want  and  Woe  an  undemanded  Friend. 

Nor  thus  advances  others  Bliss  alone  ; 

But  in  the  Way  to  theirs,  still  finds  her  own. 

Their's  is  her  own.    What,  should  your  Taper  light 

Ten  Thousand,  burns  it  to  yourself  less  bright  ? 

"  Men  are  ungrateful." Be  they  so  that  dare  ! 

Is  that  the  Giver's  or  Receiver's  Care  ? 

To  serve  the  Publick  faithfully,  and  at  the  same  time 
please  it  entirely  is  impracticable. 

Proud  Modern  ^earning  despises  the  antient :  School 
men  are  now  laught  at  by  school-boys. 

NOVEMBER. 

Oh  !  blind  to  Joys,  that  from  '.rue  Bounty  flow ; 
To  think  those  e'er  repent  whose  Hearts  bestow  ! 
Man  to  his  Maker  thus  best  Homage  pays, 
Thus  peaceful  walks  thro'  Virtues  pleasing  Ways 


288  floor  IRicbarb  for  1758 

Her  gentle  Image  on  the  Soul  imprest, 
Bids  each  tempestuous  Passion  leave  the  Brea*» 
Hence  with  her  livid  Self-devouring  Snakes 
Pale  Envy  flies  ;  her  quiver  Slander  breaks  : 
Thus  falls  (dire  Scourge  of  a  distracted  Age  ! ) 
The  Knave-led,  one  ey'd  Monster,  Party  Rage. 

Men  often  mistake  themselves,  seldom  forget  them 
selves. 

The  idle  Man  is  the  Devil's  Hireling,  whose  Livery  is 
Rags,  whose  Diet  and  Wages  are  Famine  and  Diseases. 

DECEMBER. 

Ambition  jostles  with  her  Friends  no  more  ; 
Nor  thirsts  Revenge  to  drink  a  Brothers  Gore  ; 
Fiery  Remorse  no  stinging  Scorpions  rears  : 
O'er  trembling  Guilt  no  falling  Sword  appears. 
Hence  Conscience,  void  of  Blame,  her  Front  erects, 
Hence  just  Ambition  boundless  Splendors  crown 
And  hence  she  calls  Eternity  her  own. • 

Rob  not  God,  nor  the  Poor,  lest  thou  ruin  thyself; 
The  Eagle  snatcht  a  Coal  from  the  Altar,  but  it  firec 
her  Nest. 

With  bounteous  cheer 

Conclude  the  Year. 

FINIS. 


14  DAY  USE 

RETURN  TO  DESK  FROM  WHICH  BORROWED 

LOAN  DEPT. 

This  book  is  due  on  the  last  date  stamped  below,  or 

on  the  date  to  which  renewed. 
Renewed  books  are  subject  to  immediate  recall. 


2§%rffttTn* 

L.D 

MAR  1  4  1963 

U.K.    ... 

INTER  LIBRARY 

' 

NON-RENEWABLE 

MAY  2  8  1963 

